'lol,' said the scorpion, 'lmao.'

liv . he/they . 24 . bipoc

[natalieironside]

I don't wanna compete with anyone. I hope we all make it.

[stephexmachina]

fake "secret third thing" enjoyers when the secret third thing isn't romantic not even a little:

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[motherblackcap]

I heard it was that time of year again.

[stephexmachina]

fake "secret third thing" enjoyers when the secret third thing isn't romantic not even a little:

[probuccalfat]

50 cent was lowkey the most important man in my household growing up like it went 50 cent then jesus christ

[probuccalfat]

i vividly remember my parents arguing once and my mom yelled “you’re not even half the man 50 is” then my dad slammed a door and left. these people raised me

[cunt-force-therapy]

Jesus had 5 wounds and 50 cent has 8. I know who suffered more for the sins of humanity

[probuccalfat]

i’m pretty certain that’s the exact thing my mom said that got me formally asked not to come back to youth group on wednesdays

[kosmogrl]

[lunarriviera]

[transfemmbeatrice]

thought of this immediately and was delighted to discover it’s the same op

[rosettyller]

Rose, you are worth fighting for. Wish I'd never met you, Doctor. I was much better off as a coward.

DOCTOR WHO

1x13 ● “The Parting of the Ways”

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[zmpl]

can you imagine what it will be like the day it finally happens. no one will be posting about anything else. category 10 posting event. if it happens because of someone else their gofundme page will reach over $500,000 within a day. #hopecore

[jphcrk-deactivated20251128]

[hotvampireadjacent]

Halal movie night follow up

[socialistexan]

Same exact playbook, down to the "but it was based on a lie."

[clouffyy]

WHAT THE FUCK THEY TERMINATED ME FOR NO REASON. I HAVENT EVEN USED MY BLOG IN LIKE A MONTH OR TWO

[clouffyy]

UGHHHH please reblog im syd @clouffy and they terminated me idfk why. what did i do. im literally cute

[human-pet-they]

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

[peachybeesplease]

rating the ways my family members have referred to me to other people since coming out as nonbinary

my secondborn (my parents)

7/10

sounds vaguely historical but in the way that I'm going to be sent off to war to prevent a succession crisis

potentially confusing to the listener bc the average conversation has little relation to birth order

my sister's, [name] (my aunt)

9/10

direct and to the point!

still very clear about what our family relationship is. I think we can do away with many nouns if this is any indication

my young adult child (my mom)

4/10

it's giving "20 year old minor"

I promise you can just say my kid. it's ok I don't mind strangers thinking I'm like 5 bc that would make me a prodigy for doing stuff like my laundry and dishes in one day and honestly I could use that kind of support

my liberated one (my grandma)

10/10 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

completely unclear what my relationship actually is to her. her personal oracle perhaps?

made immensely funnier by her immediately following it up with referring to my brother as her grandson.

[nyanletnest]