imagine being 1-wife-ear sized
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Mike Driver

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trying on a metaphor
š

#extradirty

oozey mess
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

izzy's playlists!
official daine visual archive
almost home
Keni
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hello vonnie
RMH
will byers stan first human second
The Bowery Presents

ellievsbear
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Origami Around
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@swimreader
imagine being 1-wife-ear sized
"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.
okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.
EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD
"we cut the nobody scene from the odyssey" "we cut the religious trauma and parental abuse from carrie" i'm starting to think that studios barely funding original films is starting to have an effect where directors make up a story and then slap an IP on it in order to sell. or maybe some bitches just can't read anymore idk it's one or the other
everyone in the tags adding the fennell wuthering heights is correct btw
everyone who is an excellent writer thinks they suck and will never get published. everyone whose writing sucks ass is actually getting published and displayed in barnes and noble
Breaking my several year harry potter silence just to say that in the Apollo Justice Trilogy, they removed the harry potter reference they originally had in the game. Which means that if you still consume hp content and talk about it, you are doing worse than fucking capcom
@endigolikesarson In the original, for the running joke regarding Valant and doors, Apollo calls Valant a muggle
While in the remaster, he says this which is way funnier even without the baggage
Everyone reblogging this post saying stuff like "they probably changed it because of copyright/dated reference" NEEDS to know that 1. There are multiple references to Doctor Who and Star Trek and a character probably named after someone from Battlestar Galactica of all things and 2. The lead writer for the localization stuff with Ace Attorney uses they/them pronouns.
women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open
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Closest match: Argentina silus genome assembly, chromosome: 11 Common name: Greater Argentine
(image source)
ai fatigue
ai books, fanfics, ai google assist, ai short form content, ai summaries, ai memes, ai artists
I cant even go and see some street food trucks without their damn menus having AI images on it. you have a camera. take photos of your goddamn food. I would rather see a photo of the most weirdly lit burger than the fake monstrosity you're showing me.
"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now
#STOP SAYING 'PLATONIC' WHEN YOU MEAN 'CASUAL'#RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE PLATONIC AND ABSOLUTELY DERANGED
just received the best text message Iāve ever had. from my mom
2 pics. no caption
The idea of clones having absurd tan lines has been amusing me lately. Just think of a group of guys who grew up indoors without sun exposure and probably had supplements for the vitamins instead of actively getting UV. Their MÄori genetics have been itching for any single ray of sunlight. So when they get out, and the only part of themselves they somewhat regularly expose is their face, they tan immediately. Like a dry sponge unfurling at a drop of water. Meanwhile, the rest of their body thatās covered in armor still has a slow way to go
The popularity of the "incompetent stupid piece of shit husband and competent wife who loves him anyways" trope in media is a psyop to make women believe its normal to settle for an incompetent stupid piece of shit husband
But if a woman acted incompetent once then she will be literally crucified in the street and she's evil for manipulating her husband into settling for less and suddenly it's not a silly endearing sitcom trope š¤
reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess
catch me on the playground playing sacrifices
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980ā²s.Ā The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.Ā Ā
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.Ā Ā
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.Ā Ā
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, itās pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.Ā Ā
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.Ā Ā
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.Ā Ā
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.Ā Ā
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.Ā (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)Ā Ā
It worked!Ā Ā
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because itās unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.Ā Ā
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.Ā (This would not work with real eggs because he canāt sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.Ā White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he canāt retire while Walnut is alive.Ā (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)Ā Ā
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the āthis content has been removed for violating Tumblrās Community Guidelinesā notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
Times are hard at the cafe so they only got Something bagels
Happy international rowlet day!!! Have a poke cafe picnic :)
Guy gets isekaiād to a fantasy world and introduces AAVE there and it becomes widely accepted. He leaves and another guy gets isekaiād there and heās wondering why the half-elf he just met said sheās finna get lit at the tavern tonight.
Hobbit: oooooh chile, this ale got me feeling alright
Isekaiād hero 2: you canāt be talking like that white baby man
Isekaiād hero
2: you canāt be talking like
that white baby man
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.