Professionally Mediocre

100% genuine contempt. 20+

[asparklethatisblue]

Taash is a bad influence on The Baby (Manfred) and Emmrich will not let that stand

[lingenmustdie]

The gentle luxury of quiet.

[beardedmrbean]

[melancholygirls]

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

[stillalittlekid]

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

[christ-with-a-why]

[melancholygirls]

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

[animentality]

[emotionallydisturbedbitch]

Me deciding which fictional man I’m going to imagine an entire relationship with in order to fall asleep:

(P.S. I will be adding more and more tags until tumblr doesn’t let me put any more)

Edit: apparently 30 tags is the cut off lol

[februarytrash]

being sad and horny is a privilege

[lastoneout]

honestly the discourse on this site is so bad that I have a new hot take: if you use tumblr at all fuck you

[i-wanna-be-cute]

Checked their account: turns out op is a fucking tumblr user themselves so????? Idk :/

[lastoneout]

[lastoneout]

which one of you motherfuckers reblogged this again

[fieldsandfurrets-deactivated202]

You did, my leige

[lastoneout]

No, that can’t be right.

[dizzy-9906]

You use Tumblr op

[lastoneout]

I don’t recall doing such a thing.

[s0d4-t4bz]

Im sorry to say you’re on Tumblr right now op…

[lastoneout]

I’m in my living room.

[gutsygills]

mold pisses me off so much

oh you have to eat your produce the moment it leaves the store or the fuckin Hungering Dust will get it. and. poison your food

[tobiasdrake]

I ran into this post years ago and to be honest, it has completely reoriented the way I engage with food.

Like. I’ve always sorta understood that things grow moldy or stale or sour or such if left out, but I never really internalized it in a meaningful way.

But now I’m just like.

Yeah. The hungering dust. There exists omnivorous dust in the air that will eat my food if I don’t.

Those bagels have been sitting there for a week. Are we going to eat them soon or are we leaving them for the hungering dust?

Pizza’s been sitting out on the counter for an hour. Everyone’s enjoying the pizza, but if we don’t want “everyone” to include the hungering dust then we should probably put it away soon.

That’s just. That’s how food works to me now. There exists an invisible predator in the air that hungers for your yummies, and it will not hesitate to eat your food if you don’t make the effort to protect and preserve it. And eat what can’t be preserved before the dust can.

Life-changing.

[the-missing-number]

food doesn’t actually “go bad”, it just gets eaten by something else first

[the-haiku-bot]

food doesn’t actually

“go bad”, it just gets eaten

by something else first

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[youngkingdomnacho]

Me when Tumblr refreshes and I lose the fic I was reading:

[marmaladebird]

Awoken from eternal rest

[gumy-shark]

when you reblog a post because you think a specific mutual would enjoy it and then they reblog it from you

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[rate-my-reptile]

Reach WITH IN To your LOCAL dirt and you may find A Friend And Boy…

[lilhoneycat]

[bewbin]

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

[zephyrusphi]

yuo cant say this during plague month

[zephyrusphi]

pride month. pharohs curse got me

[arctic-hands]

When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.

So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".

So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.

[evilsoup]

[gilliagandy]

Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

[phillip-bankss]

grug dont have to change!