Professionally Mediocre

100% genuine contempt. 20+

[dogpuppy]

[homophobla]

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

[phoenix-theurge]

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

[dirty-noona]

As a Native Hawaiian, 1) I thought this happened everywhere, 2) ofc we can levitate coconut milk

[what-even-is-thiss]

What would a Yankee Candle go for in ancient Greece?

tbh the most confusing thing about it to them would probably be the glass that the candle is contained in. They might try to buy information about glass from you.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah basically

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I should’ve clarified (pun intended). They had glass in the ancient world especially in Rome and Egypt but it was basically super heated sand and color additives put in a mold and often looked opaque and kinda lumpy. Even if it was blown like it was in some regions it wouldn’t have looked like modern glass.

Clear blown glass like you’d see a modern scented candle contained in wasn’t invented until the late Middle Ages and certainly wasn’t mass produced until the 1500s and even then places like Venice that had knowledge of these techniques literally forbid their glassmakers from leaving their city or region so other people couldn’t make it, forcing artificial scarcity and making it a very expensive material.

So if you showed a yankee candle to an Ancient Greek, especially one from a city or something, they’d be like burning scented wax okay not something I’d do but it makes sense. Also how the fuck is that glass transparent.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Like imagine if someone brought you something weird but understandable contained in a material that they said was made out of wood and you could tell that it’s clearly made out of wood they’re not lying about that but it was also completely transparent and see through with no visible flaws. That’s about the level of weird we’re talking about here.

[animnightmare]

It isnt flawless, but transparent wood does already exist actually

[what-even-is-thiss]

What the fuck I feel like a medieval peasant seeing an iPhone

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[what-even-is-thiss]

Who goes there

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[lesbianshepard]

It seems like the younger generations are not learning how to do a lot of computer related stuff, and one of the most tragic things is that I've worked with too many zoomers who have told me that they think paying for streaming services is worth it because learning to torrent is too intimidating. We make the same amount, buddy, I know you can't afford all those subscriptions. Take my hand, we'll google how to use qbittorrent together.

[henstomper]

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[impossiblepackage]

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

[henstomper]

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

[seymooner]

🌹☠️🖤

[theonion]

Chippendales Recalls 4,000 Tons Of Tainted Man Meat

[kikmessenger]

sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully

[kikmessenger]

skips a stone over a few posts

[ferrettaur]

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that

[xionnort-deactivated20130610]

[xionnort-deactivated20130610]

I should’ve made xemnas troy but his hair screamed sharpay

[kh-heritage-posts]

Heritage Post

03/10/2013

[sisteranonymous]

@syntheticninjas

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[chainmail-butch]

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

[micromontage]

I'm like if a

Who cares. Let's run away. I don't care anymore

[sapphling]

let's all have a fun time looking up new words when we encounter them to see what they mean before incorporating them into our vocabularies

[wileycap]

[sapphling]

let's all have a fun time looking up new words when we encounter them to see what they mean before incorporating them into our vocabularies

[wileycap]