Burping up straight acid

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Burping up straight acid
My throat: is periodically sore and a bit phlegmy sometimes, or at least I need to keep clearing it
My anxiety: oh God your horrible acid-refluxing diet has destroyed all your esophagus and also you have throat cancer and you are going to die any minute
My heartburn is back, sadly. I've got heartburn, and I'm blaming it on my extreme congestion. I try to force my phlegm out, and then it all just devolves into acid reflux and heartburn.
The bandages I got my dad to put on me last night are already beginning to come off. Well, one of them is. Now that hands are beginning to feel clammy. My hands are sweaty, and my heartburn is still doing it's thing. Damn it!
My dad should call me from work soon. I'm gonna be fine, no doubt. But the heartburn still sucks. I've just gotta remember: I can have a bath tonight. I can have something peaceful tonight, just when I need it most (although every day feels like a day when I could need it). sigh...
Okay, I wound up masturbating again. I already made a post about that, explaining how awkward it makes me feel. But there's way more I have to say now. So let me try to explain my actual problem.
My heart is burning. Beyond my heart burning, I'm severely congested. If I breathe in through my nose super deeply, I seem to summon up a bile from the darkest parts of my throat. And this bile burns my throat, all while also making me feel like I need to vomit. So I've got severe congestion, heartburn, moderate nausea and a slightly sore throat. As much as masturbating is awkward, this is hellish.
Sometimes I think I get worse heartburn when I'm in strenuous situations. And masturbation is as strenuous as someone like me gets. So I'm thinking that I have seriously given myself this nausea and heartburn with my bad decision making. The bile like phlegm, though...that's been around since 2020 or 2021. I can never get rid of it, and attempts to do so always end up like this.
I wish I had a good doctor to talk to about this. But my old family doctor retired. And my new one...well, he just told me I might need an endoscopy! He didn't even warn me what that looks like, though! So now I'm avoiding him, and/or I'm insulting him everytime I think about him. It was our second appointment together, and he just hits me with that! What's wrong with him!?
Struggling with constant heartburn and GERD? Dr. Joel Wallach exposes the medical myth of “too much acid” and shares how low stomach acid from salt deficiency causes reflux. Discover the natural fix that actually works. Call (800) 212-2613
For anyone with GERD/acid reflux, are there any drink mixes (like the little powder packets or squirt bottles) that you like that don't have citric acid in them? My mom just got diagnosed and is having trouble finding some drink options that aren't just plain water (and trying to search online is hit or miss like everything else these days). Any suggestions are appreciated!
I've got heartburn again. I seem to always get heartburn after eating on the weekends. Is it the food I eat (muffins and granola bars)? Is it because I try to force phlegm out shortly after I'm done eating? It's...alright, it's probably that second one. But that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. I don't like that I have heartburn so often.
I tried to go bathroom again. Mostly blood came out of me again (although there was some poop too). I'll probably end up in the bathroom again later, either because I obsess until I masturbate or because my stomach gets cramped enough I need to strain and make myself bleed some more. We'll see which thing happens first. sigh...
i think my body is trying to dissolve itself from the inside out