|| i'm sorry you were forgotten// things left behind ||
Pairings: Miguel O'Hara x Reader
Description: You weren't anyone's favorite in Spider Society. You weren't even sure anyone knew who you were. Everyone overlooked your universe; everyone except Peter B. Parker...or so you thought.
Warning's: Language, Mentions of Mental Illness, Su*c*de.
You have been warned.
Everything under the cut.
In the cold and desolate Spider Society, you were nothing more than a nameless anomaly, an insignificant cog in the grand machine. Everyone overlooked you, but there was one who didn't. Peter B. Parker, the grizzled veteran of the Spider-Verse, the wise and wizened father figure, the one man who you could always count on for a kind word and a friendly ear. But even he didn't know who you really were, he didn't see the pain and the suffering that you hide behind a mask of confidence and strength. He only saw what you wanted him to see.
No one knew.
Miguel, on the other hand, is a towering figure, a wall of muscle and sinew wrapped around a heart of steel. He's not the type of man to offer comfort or sympathy, he's more likely to shoot first and ask questions later. And yet, there's something about him that draws you in, a raw magnetism that you can't resist. You tell yourself that it's just curiosity, but the truth is, you want him. You want him to see you, to know you, to understand you.
But he never will, because you make sure of it. You hide your true feelings, you mask your doubts and fears behind a veneer of self-assurance and confidence. You tell yourself it's for the best, because there's no way you can be with him. The man is a force of nature, a hurricane of passion and emotion, and you're just a blip, a speck on the radar.
What could he possibly want with you?
Yet you can't help but want him, you can't help but imagine what it would be like to feel those strong arms around you, to hear his whispered words in your ear, to feel his touch against your skin. And so you wait and you wait, hoping against hope that one day he will see you for who you really are, for all that you can be.
But that will never happen. You were only…nothing. Not even the friends you made along the way at the Spider Society remembered you…you sat by yourself at the end of the hallway alone, tucked in a corner, your lunch resting on your lap.
You sigh and lean your head back against the wall, closing your eyes. You're so tired of this, you just want it to end. You want them to see you, to know you, to understand you. You've tried so hard to fit in, to be a part of the group, but it's never enough. There's nothing you can do, no matter how hard you try. They just don't see you. You're alone.
You open your eyes, staring up at the ceiling, feeling the weight of the world crushing down upon you.
The sound of footsteps draws you from your thoughts, and you turn your head to see Peter B. Parker walking toward you. He gives you a warm smile, and your heart leaps in your chest.
"Hey kiddo," Peter says, taking a seat beside you. "How you doing?"
"I'm fine," you lie, forcing a smile onto your face. "Just enjoying my lunch."
"You sure?" Peter asks, studying you closely. "Because to me, it looks like you're feeling pretty down."
"It's nothing…" you answered , eyes flicking to the lunch not eaten in your lap.
"Oh, come on now," Peter chided. "I know exactly what you're feeling. I know that look. It's the look of someone who's been alone for a long time."
"I'm fine," you repeated, glancing away.
Peter sighed and put a hand on your shoulder. "You don't have to pretend with me, you know. And you're not alone."
You stiffen, not wanting to break down in front of him, not wanting to let him see how truly broken and alone you really were.
"Please," Peter said softly, "Just let it out. I won't judge you."
You stood up, a mixture of hate and sadness spreading across your face. You threw your tray into the garbage and walked in any direction but Peter's way.
You make it a few feet before Peter catches up to you, and catches your arm.
"Hey, hey, calm down," he says, holding you with firm but gentle hands. "Talk to me."
You shake your head, but Peter persists. He grips your arms tighter, forcing you to look at him.
"Tell me what's wrong," he says, his voice pleading. "I can't help you if you don't let me in."
You start to cry, and then the words come rushing out, in an unstoppable torrent of emotion and pain. You tell him everything, all the things that you've kept hidden for so long. You tell him about how lonely you are, how no one understands you, how no one ever sees you, how you just can't stand all the pain and the suffering.
You stop when you're out of air, gasping and sobbing, staring into Peter's eyes. He's still holding your arms, still looking at you, still listening.
"It's okay," he says, pulling you into a tight embrace. "I'm here. Let it out."
The two of you stand there for what feels like an eternity, and finally you pull away. You give him a final hug, and turn to leave.
"Thank you," you say, tears still rolling down your cheeks. "You're the first person I've spoken to in months."
Peter watches as you walk away, a look of sadness on his face. "You're welcome," he calls after you. "And I'll be here, if ever you need me."
A couple weeks go by since that incident, and with everything that went on then…its like everyone is split from each other. Your friends ended up not being you're friends, even worse, when you tried to talk to Miguel, he barely even knew who you were, and he had given you a mission not even two days prior…
You were devastated, confused and hurt. You thought that everything was going so well, that things were on the upswing for you. You thought that you were finally a part of the group.
But then Miguel, the man that you'd admired and respected for so long, the man that you'd fallen for, brushed you aside like you were nothing. He didn't even recognize you. It was like all of your efforts, all of your struggles, had been for nothing.
"I can't believe it. After all I've done, he still doesn't notice me. What am I doing wrong?"
You slump down in your chair, your heart feeling like it's been shattered into a thousand pieces.
All of your hard work, and for what?
You've put in so much effort, and this is how it ends?
You feel like you've been cheated.
How can this be fair?
You feel like giving up, just throwing in the towel right then and there, and saying "to hell with everything."
Your room was cold, yet, you weren't cold. Standing up, you left to go to the place where no one would bother you.
You're bathroom.
You climb up the ladder, up the narrow shaft, and finally, you reach the top. The night sky is spread out before you, with the glittering stars shining above. The wind is blowing, and the cool night air is like a balm to your aching heart. You just want to curl up here and never go back. Peter B. Parker blew through the doors of Miguel's lab, his angry footsteps approaching the large platform. "Miguel!" He hollered trying to get his attention.
"What?!" Miguel answers back, hissing. The pedestal lowers as Miguel turns to face the other spider with a look Peter recognized as annoyance.
"This prank with Y/N has gone on for too long..." Peter spat. Miguel raised a brow, confused. "Who? And what prank?" Miguel asked, concerned.
"You know, Y/N...the one you gave that recon mission for Colten?" Miguel pondered for a moment. "Oh yeah...them...I just gave them something so that they'd leave well enough alone." He confessed.
Peter was beyond horrified.
"They've been by your side for longer than many of those here at the Society. This is how you repay them? What is wrong with you..." Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly not wanting to even remotely think about anything other than what he was before. "Look, I do not care...we need room for those who actually want to be here... and Y/N...seems like someone who will end up getting their universe destroyed." Peter continued to stare at the other man in front of him in disbelief.
"What happened to you finally telling them Miguel?" Peter questioned, getting defensive. Miguel rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I don't have time for that right now...maybe another time. But I can't do this right now. So Y/N is going to have to wait." Peter stomped his foot. "You need to do that now...do you have any idea what they've been through? Everyone has been actively ignoring her, her friends are treating her like garbage and left her high and dry and now you? What happened to this community?"
"Peter, this isn't the time nor the place..."
More time had passed and it seemed as if the game was over. Your friends came to your room, finally finished with their prank. They thought it would have been funny to see how long it would take you to realize they were gone...but you thought they just abandoned you. When they reached your room, one thing after another unraveled. Your door opened, and it was exactly how you left it.
Empty.
You were gone.
When Peter B. found out, it seemed to break him more than ever, not only did he lose a friend, he felt like he lost a child.
Miles felt emptier, Pav and Hobie sat in disbelief, and Gwen... couldn't fathom her mentor ever doing what they did.
And Miguel...
It wasn't what anyone would have expected to happen. He locked himself up in his lab trying to pinpoint exactly where you had run off too. Maybe you would have went home...or better yet to one of the other universes. Seemingly, it was as if you fell off into the abyss. Even he asked your friends to call you, yet your number was disconnected. Your watch had been left on the table.
You didn't exist.
That was how you wanted it.
{to be continued...}
