#ampdg

[apixiedyedhere]

I don't like hardcover books with those annoying paper jackets why not make it hardcover with the artwork on it I mean how hard is that

Anyway I love books

[apixiedyedhere]

Don't call. Text.

Can't understand why you want to hear my voice. I don't even like my voice. That's weird.

I love talking one on one, but talking on the phone is like loose tea vs bagged tea. Just no.

Texting gives me time to formulate my answers and thoroughly read yours. On the phone I can't "read" anything, so it's harder to analyze/connect.

I'll either spend 10 minutes listening to you. Or 10 minutes monologuing you.

Texting allows me to multitask. I'm always doing either 1000 things or just too lazy to use my ears.

[apixiedyedhere]

The emotional numbness and detached sentimentality that I have seems to help me do things without getting stressed out. The downside is; my lows are very low and my highs are very high. Unfortunately I often miss the mark when it comes to dealing with others, and I love better from arms length.

[apixiedyedhere]

Sometimes I really think I'm a sort of bad energy vacuum. It's not that people feel better around me because of me, but because I take in all the worries and sadness and loneliness they feel and absorb it into me, where it dies like bacteria in a bamboo cutting board (Google that).

The reason why I feel numb all the time is a defense mechanism caused by either empathy overburden or, maybe my natural hyper sensitivity. After a while your whole psychological makeup finds ways to cope with your specific problems and that can mean personality or paychological tradeoffs.

[apixiedyedhere]

Is it normal that I suddenly feel tender emotions for an individual I lacked these for in the past? Has my brain turned the memories of them into a sort of avatar through which to channel delayed emotional responses to many different things and people? I am averse to their return, but in my mind, we are on good terms and I am content with never seeing them again.

[apixiedyedhere]

One day I laid down in the grass with my friend and we took a light nap in the woods. I had no fear. Imagine that, no fear.

I wish there was a holiday called Forest Spooning. It needs to be a thing. No talking. No nothing. Just earthing. Pure medicine.

[apixiedyedhere]

If any1 saw how I am by myself, I'd probably be interred 🤪😸

My daydreams get so realistic I can start to act them out, or even speak character lines out loud

Sometimes I legit have dialogues and arguments with myself out loud when trying to make small decisions

I laugh hysterically to myself when I think of something funny.

I'm always laughing about the smallest things, it could be about a cool coincidence that happened, or a piece of fuzz stuck to a table

I can hyper focus on one topic and be entertained by it all day long but it'll look like a weird obsession even when it's not.

I like to fawn over and examine prized objects which can come off as loopy

I get really happy sometimes when I've spent a lot of time alone and for some people that might seem weird!

My strict self rules and routines at home, which leave little space for companions, may come off as out of touch and absorbed.

Can any1 relate?

[apixiedyedhere]

Why email > phone #

Making new friends these days usually consists of meeting someone somewhere and exchanging phone numbers.

I used to do this a lot only to realize I was self-sabotaging and disappointing myself. I now only exchange emails and realize that a person's true intentions lie in whether or not they turn it down.

Do they want to get to know you or get your attention?

Usually people only text when they're horny or bored.

Emails are like letters. You are forced to actually think about what you are sending the person.

Texting a stranger you met once in person is harder because you can easily end up falling down the "small talk" hole. This leads to dead ends and ghosting.

Emails can, like a letter, showcase a lot about a person's personality through their sentence structure, topic choices, and demonstrates their levels of creativity and empathy.

With texting, sooner or later one person doubts the other's interest and a mutual "omg does he/she dislike me?" Leads to a bilateral defensive "I'm not gonna text first" attitude. Avoidant ghosting.

Emails vs texts are like: cafetierre brewed coffee vs instant coffee. One has flavor, one tastes like cardboard broth. It's not hard to pick which is more enriching, satisfying and relationship-building in the long run.

However I am not against texting at all. Texting is better than calling sometimes. Everything has its pros and cons. I'm just going by experience and preference here. But there is this trend these days with ghoster-bashing. Maybe figure out the person's personality type, why they would ghost, and how to avoid ghosting.

Maybe others can relate.