#asudylan

[dumturtle]

WIS - your Wonderland family

Obviously the most important part of picking a ship is making sure they have a good ship-name together! And so... 

@allykingsleigh with @chloeoftheball. Their name would be #ALOE, and their relationship would have healing properties like the world has never seen.

@lyra-k with @jimdubs. #LYMY isn’t spelled right but the idea is there and makes me want a nice refreshing lime beverage. 

@scarlettcorazon with @marykatehood. #SCARY! 

@whereswaldohatter with that Dylan guy. #DYLDO! 

@deeturkey with @pennylanewilde. This isn’t my favorite choice but it IS tourney season, so #TURNY!

I NEED ENTERTAINMENT

[asuxsor]

Who are your ideal Valentine pairings?

Wait, are we seriously already thinking about next year here? Because if we are, chop chop, people, you’ve got ten months to get your act together, and I know half of you are half braindead and will take that long or longer.

With that said... here’s my 2020 wishlist:

@levbelrose and @chloeoftheball. Steal her right out from under your big brother’s nose, Baby Belrose! It would be the most interesting thing you’ve ever done in your entire life.

@andreatriton and @whereswaldohatter. Karma’s a bitch just like @scarlettcorazon.

@maddielabouff and @cecefacilier. Stop making heart eyes at @jimdubs, get together, and then drive each other so crazy you off each other, yay!

@rosalienothale and @lacklands. Just so that those bratty freshmen will stop acting like they’re going to be the premiere theater couple around here. They’re not even hot!

And I already got my wish of Marley and Dylan getting back together, which means... I deserve a Valentine. Boys, you have 10 months to impress the hot, single member of the Donati family, time’s ticking!

[sydneyandersen]

Casper, Ajax, Heath, Blake, Dylan, Lev

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

do the sexy love™ with: Oh wow, most of these guys are like... way too hot or way too taken. Is it insulting if I say @casperlocke because we’re like... similarly inexperienced seeming? If it is just pretend I said like, Chris Pine or something and not a real person. 

sacrifice myself for: @levbelrose, he’s a sweetie. 

kick: @jungleboyblake? I feel bad accidentally killing someone’s fiance but like, he seems a little obnoxious sometimes.

take to prom: @heathlemon.

abandon in jurassic park: @ajaxapostolos.

push off a bridge: Oh... um, a very short bridge for @dylan-donati so that @princessxymarley won’t be sad. 

[kalasinambrosius]

Noa, Mary Kate, Rosalie, Dante, Dylan, Marley

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

You sent me all couples, you guys! That’s just asking for trouble, so... I’m going to shake up the format a little. 

do the sexy love™ with:  @noa-atua and @marykatehood. They seem like they’d be the most exciting to be in bed with. 

sacrifice myself for: @dylan-donati and @princessxymarley? They’re the nicest.

kick: But I’d also kick @dylan-donati and @princessxymarley because them getting back together had a kind of suspicious timeline that I have a feeling hurt another one or two of our classmates!

take to prom: @noa-atua and @marykatehood. Again, they seem like the most fun.

abandon in jurassic park: I really don’t know @danteseaprince and @rosalienothale at all...

push off a bridge: So my life wouldn’t be any different if I just disposed of them, right?

[rilespan]

Noa, Waldo, Dylan, Will, Blake, Parker

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

do the sexy love™ with: All of these boys seem gay or intimidating, or else they’re my brother! But um... I guess @noa-atua was super distractngly handsome that time I accidentally ran into him in a locker room, and he’s super experienced and could teach me what to do, so... him?

sacrifice myself for: Obviously @parkerspan!

kick: @jungleboyblake? I feel like he’s probably kicked people while he was vine-swinging before and it would be karmic retribution maybe!

take to prom: @willofnottingham seems like he would be really nice and polite as a friend date. 

abandon in jurassic park: @whereswaldohatter would have fun with strange and colorful creatures, wouldn’t he?

push off a bridge: That leaves @dylan-donati, I’m sorry!

[leilaniwaialiki]

bentley, parker, ajax, johnny, dante, dylan

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

do the sexy love™ with: Oh, well... um, not to be overly shallow, but @ajaxapostolos seems like he would be a very, very good distraction.

sacrifice myself for: @parkerspan. I just get a really good vibe from him!

kick: @ticktockbents? I’m sorry, I’m running out of choices!

take to prom: @lacklands. I’m sure he’d find his theater friends and have no problem leaving me in peace to read. 

abandon in jurassic park: @dylan-donati? I’m sorry!

push off a bridge: @danteseaprince, you can also swim quite well, can’t you?

[kinglyben]

WIS - your sisters and the other castle clan

@lenflorian needs someone patient, who can deal with her strongheadedness. Maybe someone like @regdubois?

@chloeoftheball needs someone who understands her on a deeper level -- that includes knowing what her life has been like growing up and all the pressures she’s always been under. May I suggest @lucasbelrose? Not that I’m trying to play castle matchmaker, it’s just... an observation.

@wndersoph needs someone outgoing, who can bring her out of her shell. I don’t know that that person’s necessarily the person she’s with right now, but she does seem happy, so who am I to judge? @dylan-donati is nice, of course, even if I think someone like @ivynotpoison could have been really great, too.

And that leaves @ticktockbents. I think the people have already spoken about thinking he should be with @sydneyandersen, but if either of them doesn’t agree with that idea, maybe @kennahale?

I NEED ENTERTAINMENT

[kalasinambrosius]

Kimi, Cassie, Noa, Sebastian, Liam, Dylan

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

do the sexy love™ with:   @liamdubcis is very handsome and seems a little more driven than the other handsome people on this list. 

sacrifice myself for: @cassieadale. The animals need her! 

kick: @hamadakimi? I don’t really know her, but her dad’s too iconic for me to want to get on that family’s bad side! 

take to prom: @noa-atua. I feel like he’d make sure I did prom “right,” whatever that may mean. 

abandon in jurassic park: @dylan-donati? I basically tossed a mental coin on these last two since I don’t much care one way or the other.

push off a bridge: @sebkoenig. See above!