mannnnnn I am so seeing the potential of ppl's aroace spec reads of Zuko (monomaniacally focused on gaining everything back and duty, whatever that entails, or canonically detached for other reasons? you pick!) and everyone deciding Toph was aroace spec (partly bc there was nobody rly to pair her with and they wanted to go the 'independent woman' route while codifying it somehow, ig)
Everyone is constantly falling at these two's feet for both genuine sexual attraction reasons (Toph can feel that sort of thing) and for socio-economic-political reasons, and they are both SO SICK of it and constantly piss and moan to each other about it behind closed doors after they discard their politician/heiress/nobility personas. And over time, it dawns on them that they have a special bond that transcends ALL that mess. There is a bit of a gradual confession process but that doesn't follow typical scripts either. One of them lingers a conversation on marriages of convenience for too long not to be suspicious, and the other one picks up on it even though their private dynamic has never been one for subtlety. They have a grand wedding, and also a secret, parsed-down-guest-list one where everyone can be themselves. And although their wedding night (for the second event, not the first!) is not exactly passionate, but still loving and enjoyable, Toph has interviewed enough women from nobility to hold out hope that maybe they'll both develop a conventional relationship? (bc the terms ace spec don't exist in this universe, and won't for another around 2 centuries when they're both dead) She lasts a few years, but collapses one day in a heap, crying into her silken pillows that perhaps she made a mistake, but she loves him otherwise too much to even entertain the possibility of leaving. What if she missed out. What if-
But then she looks around. Watches other women. Compares her own vibrations. No, something is off. She didn't miss out. She . . . maybe never had any of that to begin with. Is it because she's blind? People constantly talk about other peoples' looks. Maybe that's it? She doesn't talk about these things to Zuko. He's under enough strain and to deal with his wife directly saying she doesn't like him like she's supposed to is too direct even for the head-on earthbender. So she talks to Aang and Katara. Sometimes jointly, sometimes individually. She's brash but she's hesitant to pry about something that personal, to truly get all the nitty-gritty details on how Katara picked staying with Aang above all other people, but eventually Katara winds up talking about her crush on Jet (and other people as she grows up) and how it was . . . different from her attraction to Aang. Her bond with Aang largely transcends the physical. It started out as subtle, but now is an intense, outright spiritual bond to her. This confuses Toph, who is canonically equally as dismissive of spirits. So she goes to Suki. Ty Lee. They describe their attractions. It all feels foreign to her. And somewhere in all this, someone accidentally lets something slip to Zuko, that Toph is having some form of doubts. He summons her through a servant to his bedchambers, and he's invisible to her bending on the sheets, and she's expecting some sort of angry shouting match with the firebender, a dressing down on how could she betray him, how could she turn her back on all they built together. But he, being so curiously mirrored with her on these things, takes her hands in warmed palms, asks quietly if she'll indulge him and snuggle in, no funny business, promise, and no fighting either, I'll stand on the stone floor if you need to read me, and as they settle in, he says: "You can escape this place. I can't. If you need to run away again, like you did when your family was suffocating you, please do that. I never want to be the reason you're suffocating, Toph." He knows her so well. But instead of being strictly touched, she's choked up. "Isn't that childish?" she whispers, "Shouldn't I have grown out of that? Taken on responsibility? Breaking vows is a serious thing, it's not like casting off my parents entirely, which yeah, I wanted to do but pulled back on." He quietly passes thumbs over her wrists, thinking. She continues, "And this wouldn't be just about me. There would be massive fallout. I can't do that. Even if I were outright unhappy- and I'm not, Zuko! understand that- I care about you so much more than Poppy and Lao- that should still give anybody who cares about the citizens of everywhere pause." She takes a few moments. "Maybe it's like Aang. Even though I may have not been 'destined' for this, and I don't feel that way like other wives do . . . I should commit to it. I have to put the good of everyone else before what I- may- want for myself. Just like he does." He brings her in and hugs her tightly. "Well, like the air nomads, we should arrange maximum freedom for you, then. Whatever outer limits of 'dereliction of duty' from a Fire Lady of a foreign nation this old creaking husk of a citizenry can tolerate, we will navigate to its edges." And this time when she's crying it's mostly positive, but there's also some aching sadness in there that she can't quite pin down. He clears his throat in a way that suggests he's struggling, but after a few breaths says, "And you don't have to share my bed, if you don't want to. If your partially cobbled together freedom must entail that, then . . ."
"Zuko, please talk like a normal person. I don't like when you over-intellectualize feelings like that," the noblewoman grouses. "Follow our no formal talk rule." His 'safe' façade dissolves so readily. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for . . ." he sucks in a breath, "not picking up that you were discontented. I'm sorry if I haven't satisfied you in some way. I'm sorry that-" She places fingers gently over his face to shush him. "No. I don't know what they told you," she's heard many a noblewoman screech that their husband should've known they were near their breaking point, "but it's not any of that. I promise." "Then . . . what is it?" "I don't know. I really don't. I'm not good with feelings, not like the Twinkle-Queen duo is." "Well, I may not be either, but. I am busy, but that's no excuse. I don't have senses like you do, but that's no excuse. I have a duty to you as much as I have a duty to my people. I feel like I risked accidentally pushing you away, if I didn't see my wife was unhappy. That's . . . that's part of the reason I was ready to let you go, if I failed you. But I don't think the peculiar willingness is just that . . ." "Then . . . what is it?" "I don't know either." "Well, let's not know, together."
