I could certainly not put my emotions on this particular day down to any hip openers I had done that morning! Because I didn’t do any. I had had a super productive morning…studied, ran and cooked. Chatted to a mate.
I then went on a the quickest date of my life! After that I found myself irritable and just a bit baffled at men, and I guess more to the point relationships.
I had decided a few days earlier to give Tinder a go. It basically went against what I believe in, and how I connect with people. But I was of the mindset, new chapter…try new things. It might be a great way to get myself back out there and meet new people. So a fella on Tinder instigated the conversation with me and whilst I was skeptical initially, we chatted for the best part of the morning and me in my happy state mistook him as being funny and the kind of banter that I usually have with my guy mates. Turns out it wasn’t banter and he was just an absolute pig.
I took a short walk to his flat and he invited me up by text as he had just gotten out of the shower…and I’m said “nah mate, I’ll wait in the courtyard”. As if I was going to go up to some random fellas house that I don’t know from a bar of soap.
He came downstairs and the conversation went something a little like this:
Old mate: “Should we just go upstairs and have some fun”?
Old mate: “You aren’t very fun are you”?
Me: “I guess that depends on your interpretation of fun” (at this point I’m realising what a complete wanker this guy is).
Old mate: “So are we just going to waste our time walking around, and then go back to mine”?
Old mate: : “So we aren’t going to have sex? Like not even if I walk around with you for a bit”?
Me: (With the world’s blankest expression) “There is no chance I am going to have sex with you….at any point”.
Old mate: “I think I’ll just go then”
Me: “I think that’s probably for the best”.
While I thought it was fairly funny, I was pretty annoyed that I’d even bothered to put make up on for this asshole. I walked back to my flat and got back to my study, slightly baffled but by no means surprised that that had just happened. I am not going to have meaningless relationships with anyone, be it friend or prospective partner… and certainly not a prick that thinks they are god’s gift to women!
That… lets call it an experience, brought me back to what I was thinking and feeling sitting in the Cathedral a few days earlier. Would I cross paths with someone at some point with a little bit of substance (obviously I am referring to a partner)? Or am I just a little bit to deep and more emotional than I let on? It certainly got me thinking in any case. I realised how lucky I am to have such rich relationships already. I, in fact, didn’t need a partner, or, in any shape or form want one. So needless to say I deleted my Tinder account.
