#batfam drabble

[atticuswastaken]

How it feels telling people I use tumblr in the big 26

[afictionalwhor3]

Normalcy

Summary: blurbs about the batkids asking Bruce about ordinary tasks

Warnings: none

Bruce was sitting at the batcomputer, stalking through case files, when Dick came downstairs. He stood silently behind Bruce, watching the screen but offering no input. Bruce, knowing his son, sighed after a couple of minutes and asked, “Do you need something, Dick?”

“How do I do taxes?” He asks nonchalantly, as if this were a normal conversation. Bruce’s fingers hover over the keyboard, and he finally turns around to look at Dick.

“Dick, you don’t have a job. There is nothing for you to file. You don’t have to do taxes. It's not even that time of year, Dick,” Bruce responds, and Dick shrugs.

“Right… it still feels like something I should be able to do, though, right? I am an adult and should contribute to my society. What if I do get a real job someday?” Dick suggests. Bruce sighs again and turns around, going back to looking at the computer screen.

“When tax season comes around, I will let you know. I'll teach you as I do my own,” Bruce says, and Dick breaks out in a big grin

~

Duke and Bruce were on the way back from a mission in the Batmobile, and a comfortable silence had fallen over the two of them. Duke looked around the familiar interior of the car before watching how Bruce handled it. When he finally spoke up, he said, “Hey Bruce, do you think you could teach me how to drive?” He asks. Bruce blanks for a minute as he turns to avoid a red light.

“You don’t know how to drive a car?!” Bruce asks in shock before quickly clearing his throat to cover it up. It makes sense that Duke didn't; there was no one around to teach him. But it was also something that never crossed his mind to do or that Duke would care about. Duke just smiles and looks out the window.

“Nope. My parents got sick around the time I should have learned. Then, everything happened, and it wasn't that important. It still isn’t; it just came to my mind randomly. Felt like something I should be able to do,” Duke says nonchalantly as they pull into the batcave. Duke gets out of the car quickly, suddenly regretting bringing it up at all. Before Duke can get to the door leading to the manor, Bruce calls out to him.

“Tomorrow morning. Before I go into the office, I’ll teach you. We’ll start with a real car and eventually work up to this,” Bruce says, referring to the Batmobile. Duke smiles and nods his head, heading upstairs to shower, eager for tomorrow.

~

It was one of the rare quiet nights in Gotham. Jason and Bruce were next to each other on a random rooftop overlooking the city. Bruce was happy they were in a place where Jason could tolerate his presence at all. He did not want to push it by trying to fill the space with meaningless conversation. That was until, out of the blue, Jason asked, “Do you know how to use a stove?” Bruce is immediately confused by the question and looks at Jason.

“Excuse me?”

“A stove, you know? An oven, maybe? I couldn’t help but think, you have had Alfred around all your life. Meaning you have never had to make anything for yourself. I know I've never seen you use any type of appliance," Jason states matter-of-factly, looking Bruce in the eyes.

“Well, it can’t be that hard, I’m sure I could fig-, “ and before Bruce could continue to defend himself, Jason laughed. Like, actually belly laughs.

“I knew it! I was right! How old are you, like fifty, Bruce? And you’ve never used a stove. How about a washing machine?” Jason asks, already knowing the answer. Bruce looks back over the city, his silence being the only answer Jason needs. He has to hold his stomach as he doubles over in laughter.

~

Bruce’s day was only halfway done, but it felt like he had lived a million lives. The office was absolutely hectic this morning. Every time he put out one fire, it felt like another took its place. Needing a reprieve from the day, he decides to pick Damian up from school. He is initially shocked, but follows his father to the car. Bruce is driving them back to the office when Damian speaks, “Father, my peers have informed me that they are capable of riding bikes. I have never tried myself, though I believe I would be quite capable and learn very quickly.” Bruce smiles, taking a quick look at Damian.

“Would you like me to teach you how to ride a bike, Damian?” Bruce asks, trying to goad his son into saying it. Damian crosses his arms and looks out the window.

“I’m sure I could learn without you. I am already skilled at many things. I doubt a bicycle would best me,” he says, and Bruce shrugs, silence overtaking the car again. “But if you would like to be there, potentially give me pointers in the rare case I need it, that would be adequate too,” he adds. That is as close to a confession as Bruce was going to get, and he would take it.

Later that week, a brand-new bike was set up and waiting for Damian in the manor's driveway. He absolutely refused to wear the helmet, but did allow Bruce to hold the handlebars until he got the hang of it.

[jellybirdnest]

I broke out of my enclosure and i'm back, this time with batfam thoughts. Okay so hear me out, imagine a scenario where Selina has to leave her kid (bio or not, idk) with Bruce for a while.

Imagine being Selina's teen kid, and you're used to living with her. Sure, she's gone sometimes, but the cats are there to keep you company! And when she is home, she's a great mother. You don't get pulled into the whole thieving business, not officially at least. So aside from your mom being a notorious cat burglar, you're relatively normal. Just you, your single mom, and too many cats to count. Sure you know about her being Catwoman, you know she's close to Batman, she sends you to a friend's house if she suspects work might follow her home, so you never actually met the bat himself.

Until you do. You're standing in front of Wayne Manor, duffle over your shoulder, a small suitcase at your side, and your mom kissing you on the cheek before saying her goodbye. A kind old man- Alfred, she introduced him- holding open the door. He seems nice, with a warm smile, and no judgment in his eyes. He already knows your name, so introductions are short and sweet.

"Thanks for having me." You say, stepping into the lavish foyer. It feels almost intimidating, the high ceilings and pristine floors feeling almost unwelcoming. Your mother gave you instructions to be civil and kind- at first at least, so thats what you are. Alfred leads you to your room, and leaves you to unpack. It's elegant but feels more like a hotel room than anything else. You think this might be normal. It's the Waynes after all. Gotham Royalty. Even if you know that they moonlight as vigilantes, they shouldn't care, right? During the day, you assume they're just normal, not-insane rich people.

You begin to realize just how wrong you are, when you look over to the doorway to your room, and a middle schooler holding a sword is glaring at you like you kicked a puppy.

[pr3tty-daisy]

dick grayson is extremely protective. he tends to be one of the more gentle members of the family, unless someone threatens one of the people he loves. especially his little siblings. i can see him watching one of his little birdies getting hurt and turning into a completely different man. later, there would be whispers through the gotham streets of are you sure it was him?

he’s never one to exact revenge, but if he’s there, he’s protecting. he’s watching. and he may or may not be beating the perpetrator into a coma.

[buckyegans]

Bruce Wayne is tired tonight, a little more so than other nights. He notices the house is oddly quiet as he exits the cave, following the trail of light coming from the kitchen. He moves rather sluggishly, covering his mouth as he yawns. His shoulders are hunched foreward slightly as he stops in the kitchen, looking to the black suited man standing in front of the sink. Alfred is toeing around a towel, wiping up what seems to be a puddle of spilled water. Alfred turns swiftly, smiling warmly to Bruce. “Hello, Master Bruce. Ms. Cain opted to come through the window tonight. She hadn’t thought to check if the sink was full or not. You seem tired, Master Wayne. Shall I get you anything?” Alfred questions.

Bruce chuckles a little, shaking his head. “I’m alright, Alfred, thank you. Where is…everyone?” Bruce asks, brows furrowing a little. Alfred clasps his hands together in front of him, a little grin forming on his face. “Master Bruce, I think you should go check the family room…” He said with a wink, watching as Bruce slowly turned in that direction, a curious look dawning his face. He pulled himself together momentarily, heavy feet becoming light in attempt to sneak in. Poking his head into the illuminated living room, his eyes fell onto the large white structure in the middle of the room, in front of the forgotten television playing reruns of an old sitcom Tim and Stephanie had frequently watched. A blanket fort…Bruce stifled a small laugh as he walked towards it, crouching down, aging bones cracking loudly, making Bruce cringe. Bruce looks into the opening of the fort, spotting a tangle of legs and and blankets.

Raising his brows in surprise, Bruce wants to let out an ‘awe’, but manages to stop himself from waking the pile of sleeping heroes. He looks a little closer to see who is where. He finds Damian fairly quickly—his arms holding a bundle of blankets as opposed to his usually stiff sleeping position. Next to Damian is Dick, on his back, taking as much space as humanly possible. (Yes! Even more than Jason, who was the largest underneath the tent.) Below Dick’s arm was you, leg swung over your brother’s shin, another arm draped over Stephanie’s face. Bruce wondered how you all slept like this. Stephanie was next to Cassandra, the two both sharing a blanket, facing the same direction. Jason was above your head, still dressed in all his gear, even his boots, having probably planned to ‘only stay for a while’, Bruce guessed Jason had been the first to fall asleep. In the far corner of the tent, Tim was…surprisingly asleep. He was on his stomach, blanket wrapped around him completely, only a mop of black hair signifying it was him. And finally, below Tim was Duke, a large yellow hoodie swallowing him whole, a pillow in his arms with a leg thrown halfway around it. Bruce smiled at them all.

Standing back up, Bruce shuffled towards the couch, sitting on it. He only planned to sit there for a few minutes, but, soon enough, even Bruce was fast asleep, huddled into the couch, the television shining on his face. Alfred eventually came in a half hour later to turn the lamps and television off before noticing none other than Bruce Wayne asleep on the couch he almost didn’t fit on, arms and legs hanging over the edges. Alfred picked up a forgotten blanket from the tent and draped it over Bruce. When morning came, you were the first to wake up. After a night of snacks and drinks, the bathroom was calling your name. But, you stopped once you saw the state of the room. All your siblings crammed into one tent, Bruce overflowing on the couch, and Alfred with his arms folded in the armchair. You grinned tiredly, tiptoeing towards Cassandra, beckoning her to follow. The two of you tried to make the least amount of sound as you haphazardly made an amateur breakfast. You plated it quickly as soon as you were finished, carrying arms full of plates topped with bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes of all kinds. Cass was on drink duty, pouring juices, milks, and coffees for everyone. The two of you made your way back to the living room.

You cleared your tired throat and yelled out, waking everyone up. “Wakey, wakey!” You called, beginning to her shifting from inside the fort. Groans and yawns followed, followed by more confused sounds. “What the hell…” Jason’s rough voice came. Dick was the first to emerge from the fort, his pajama pants hiked up on his shins, making them look a little…colonial. The rest of the pack soon followed, Jason being the last to exit, knocking a majority of the fort down in the process. Alfred woke Bruce up, who was still sleeping like a rock. Once you all were awake (kind of, Tim and Bruce had this look in their eyes), plates were passed around and no words were spoken as hungry heroes shoveled food into their mouths as the television played in the background. This wasn’t a regular occurance, but, when it did happen, it made being part of a chaotic family worth it.

[umsothisisadcblog]

Okay okay, so we're all HERE and QUEER for big brother learned-caretaker, older sister conplex dick grayson and when jason comes back their relationship is fast and loose because his attachment issues are screaming to wrap the hissing terrified cat that is little wing in a bundle and strap that bundle to his chest and never let go ever ever again okay? Okay Jay?

I'm never gonna you Jay?

And Jason is like struggling with this and there's a big game of tag and dick fights with his instincts instead of pushing all the time and Jason spends a lot of recovery bro time with Roy. But in true fandom-expected trauma healing bonding time they have movie nights. And at first it's just dick and Jay and dick is like a hissing cat because GODDMANIT THATS THEIR TIME AND HES NOT LEAVING JAY TO TAKE DOWN FUCKING CONDIMENT KING BRUCE [pls let me have messy unhinged loving dick grayson when jason comes back, please]

But like, there's movies he just CANT watch and they find this out the hard way and there's a lot of sniffling and crying and rare Jason hugs (that are slowly becoming a common thing and loosing their bragging wealth)

Titles include

-Big Hero Six

-Brother Bear

-Captain America/ Captain America the Winter Soldier (agreed to be a little too weird for both parties)

-Hell or High Water

-Next of Kin

And after they're go 3 months without and incident and watch Next of Kin that ends with Dick telling Jay how he beat the joker to death and some truly EPIC bonding and snuggles jason has the imdb page with the keywords "brother killed" for movies in Romani, English,french,Italian, and Spanish (coco is banned as honorable mention) and anything like it. [They watch movies in those languages usually unless there's something good that OH MY GOD JASON YOU JUST HAVE TO SEE THIS ILL TRANSLATE IT AND ANALYZE IT FOR YOU LINE BY LINE IF I HAVE TO Jesus christ calm down dickie]

And one day babs sees it and it she just shows up in her own fear space and like is about to wring the shit out of Jason because Dick had just texted her that he missed Jason (after they found ONE movie that wasn't tagged properly and jason really wanted to threaten the person who runs the imdb movie site as red hood becsuse he couldn't do anything to help dick except be himself that's just too much---)

She's in his doorway in her wheelchair, looking up at Jason who is tired as hell with a bed and about to pee himself because she's fucking terrifying and looks like she's going to murder him with her eyes and he wants to run away. So babs shows him the website on his own account and asks him in the scariest voice he's ever heard from her before or since directed at him "what the fuck is this." And he sighs loudly and invites her in--because no this in not gonna be a conversation hes gonna have in his doorway god fucking damn it--and pulls up a chair [that is exactly and meticulously equal to the height of her wheel chair] and he explains while doing some deep breathing techniques he worked on with his therapist. He walks Barbara through the first time it happened with Big Hero Six,..... and are her eyes bloodshot from crying now that he can focus on her face without wanting away? Is that a tenseness in her jaw and a slowly softening of her high strung shoulders that he sees on himself every morning after he wakes up from a nightmare...He carefully and gaurdedly tells her the story surrounding it , with a slightly sparky but obviously caring tone, about how after that movie he was careful about selections up to the exact day he found the sites for all the languages and how grateful he was for those and how much he wanted to threaten imdb after their most recent hell or high water. And babs just relaxes (enough) and she sees jason for the first time, with the soft edges of the jason dick knows. She leaves him with a weirdly comforting back pat, a thank you, and a promise wheedled from jason for his lis of web pages he's curated to cross examine any movie suggestions for "very important purposrs" and a knowing smile they share--

So yeah, Jason has a list of sites he uses to cross examine any movies he's gonna watch with dick with dead brothers because he loves his very alive, and caring brother goddammit. And...babs adopted him????

[spoiler-alert-i-love-bats]

DC—drunk edition

steph: john mulaney is single now you know

tim: oh my god really?

steph: yeah so if you don’t mind i have to break up with you so i can marry him

tim: bold of you to assume i won’t get him first

dick: the queen is single now too

jason, across the room, drowning in whiskey: god, i hate this family

[kneesheee]

(This was created in the JayRoyKyle discord where @boarcide feeds me crumbs and I make cakes of angst. Inspired by Lady Gaga’s Bloody Mary)

it was something like dimension travel. the same universe following the same path but something— something changed.

and it was when the JL Founders and their handy dandy rebellion sidekicks ended up in Jason’s universe.

A shock to his system that hurt more than the bomb that ended him. To see the love that B gave little him. To see the aborted motions of love wrapped in jealousy that Goldie gave little him.

Jason hadn’t been given anything but a room in Arkham.

Still he knew how this story went. The heroes saved the day and Jason was ignored for his help in anything unless it was scold him for his methods.

It hurt a lot more though because now… now it came from a place of love and grief. Now he had to deal with another version of his father and brother … hell another version of himself believing that he could be better.

but what about the victims who knew him to be the best?

He laughed a little hurt, amused, and empty. Because he told himself that for years and all that got him was a gravemarker, his murderer walking freely, and the spirits of his mother (the egg donor and his ma) hovering over his shoulders.

Uncle Barry understood so did Aunt Diana and Uncle Hal. They didn’t approve but they understood.

But even they could do nothing but flinch when he looked at his younger self directly in the eye and told him, “When you’re gone, I’ll still be Bloody Mary.”

And he knew a part of his younger self understood didn’t approve. not when he was still looking for approval because the kid only replied, “I won’t cry for you, I won’t crucify the things you do.”

He wouldn’t die. He wouldn’t meet the same fate. He would live.

Two years later after they had left.. Jason ended up in their world and could only laugh hysterically and broken when he learned of the Arkham’s Knight. “Blood Mary. Blood Mary.“