scenarios that happened in the league of assassins that Jason and Damian won't admit to because they're little shits pt.2
Jason: Bruce is missing an eye actually.
Damian: *cautiously* Which one?
Jason: Left one. In his early days of vigilantism, he was in a fight that turned sideways.
Damian: *pondering warily* Why did Mother not mention it?
Jason: *without missing a beat* Because she’s embarrassed. Bruce kissed Talia so passionately once that the force ejected it out and rolled down a flight of stairs.
Damian: *nodding slowly* Yes. That makes sense. I see. Should I bring up Father’s disability when I meet him?
Jason: *very seriously* No. Never. This is Bruce we’re talking about. Stubborn and full of pride. Every night though, he has a ritual. He’ll pop it right out and have his newest ward shine it for him like those old timey shoe shiners.
Damian: Am…I expected to do this for him?
Jason: Of course! It’s such a blessing. My God-You know who loves doing it? Tim. I bet he just has that special father-son relationship with Bruce.
Damian: I WILL BE THE BEST PROSTHETIC EYE CLEANER GOTHAM HAS EVER SEEN. * stomps away*
Jason: *snickering silently*
Damian: *surrounded by several prosthetic eyeballs* Hm. I wonder if Father has a preference towards a certain ocular lubricant in which I should be utilizing.
Jason: I’m sure he’ll love whichever one you use. It’s the thought that counts.
Damian: But Timothy Drake has several years of experiencing cleaning-
Jason: Where’d you get all the eyes from?
Damian: Dug them up. You’d be surprised how many of our enemies had missing orbs.
Talia al Ghul: *walking in* What is going on here?
Jason: *attempting to keep a neutral expression*
Damian: *bewildered* Practicing on how to clean Father’s prosthetic eye when I met him. Akhi has informed me that it is a special ritual.
Talia al Ghul: Your father is missing his eye?
Damian: *confused* Yes-Jason said Father’s love was so pure and untamed for you that it fell from his socket and-
Jason: *cackling* ROLLED DOWN THE STREETS OF GOTHAM LIKE A CHEF BOYARDEE CAN.
Talia al Ghul: That never happened. Damian, you should know by now that Jason is always lying.
Jason: *wheezing from laughter*
Damian: *turning to his brother* I shall kill you and cremate you so Mother cannot resurrect you.
Jason: *on his knees, tears dribbling down his face* W-Worth it.
