Couple Tag: 20 Questions for... Miss Fortune and Astarion
Many thanks to @litsenn, @riddlerosehearts, @spillingteanotpermitted, and @scoldingdarjeeling for the tags! Loved reading about all your couples <3
Gentle tags for @lottavilja, @lilhumanoid, @et-augury, @cinder-rellish181, @emmy-and-the-tieflings, @r3drozebud, @lofi-fried, @oona-radiant-hopeful, @irondeficienttav, and @alwaysmauria + an open tag for anyone else who'd like to jump in! And if I tagged you but you've already done it, please drop the link in the comments?
(I'm sorry this got so long, I have a problem with brevity)
👄 How do they refer to each other? (“This is my...” girlfriend, partner, fiancée, etc.)
Miss Fortune and Astarion work hard to control the narrative on their public images so the below are pretty much all they use in public. Pet names are for private moments.
Before engagement: Miss Fortune would refer to Astarion by his name or as their partner to emphasize them being equals and a team. Astarion would call them “my darling” in addition to his partner.
After engagement: Miss Fortune and Astarion both like to use “my betrothed” or “my beloved” in addition to the other names above. Once they eventually marry they continue to prefer “my beloved" as the legal union doesn't matter to them as much as their emotional bond, but when in "polite society" they'll use spouse.
If anyone dared to mock or question their bond (not that it would be common seeing as the Forgotten Realms are not very homophobic, although some have questioned them based on their vampire-mortal mix) Miss Fortune would absolutely dive into a scathing and over-the-top reproach/declaration similar to the "he's not my boyfriend" scene in Old Guard:
And then, if it were an enemy they could get away with killing, they'd slash them to ribbons 🙃
Ulder Ravengard at some point in Part 3 does question their bond, and MF has this to say (will likely edit once I actually get there in my fic):
“This man,” they stated with deadly calm, “is no fling. He is the first person I think of when I awake in the morning and my last thought as my eyes grow heavy with sleep. He is my guiding star in the dark when I’m lost. My beacon of hope when I am drowning in despair. A soft place to land when I lose my footing. When anything of note happens in my life, good or bad, it is his company I seek first to share it with. He has mended my broken heart and helped me believe in love again. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? This man is everything. Do not insult the seriousness of our bond again. Your Grace.”
🌟 What’s their celebrity couple/ship name?
Bloodfortune or Sashtarion - I think these are self-explanatory.
🌙 Night out or night in?
Either, depending on the goal. Miss Fortune and Astarion work hard to milk the Heroes of Baldur's Gate personas for all they're worth because it opens so many doors for two people who came from nothing. Add to that being successful tailors from whom many are eager to order outfits, they are rarely wanting for an invitation to whatever social events are happening around Baldur's Gate. Attending these events sells their "retired adventurers turned tailors and socialites" ruse and doubles as a perfect opportunity to eavesdrop and collect rumors.
Otherwise nighttime is usually spy/assassination time and they're on the clock. On the rare occasion they're not working at night and wish to go out, they enjoy supporting the arts by going to plays or art galleries, followed by dancing and drinking at taverns - they aren't picky as to how classy the joint is, their eyes are glued to each other regardless. They also like to be tourists in their own city, striving to hit up all the different sights and tourist traps they couldn't before.
What they love most, however, are the quiet evenings they can spend by the hearth in their private quarters at home, reading or gossiping over wine, where the trip to their bed is a short one should the mood shift.
💤 Sleep in, or up-and-at-’em?
(In my storyline Astarion is able to return to the sun with some limitations so this is a long-term answer. Before his return to the sun, this can be flipped as they both tend to sleep during daylight hours.)
Miss Fortune is not a morning person, they will sleep as late as Astarion lets them and stay in bed all day if they can. They secretly enjoy being woken up by Astarion's endless and inventive pranks, although they prefer the steamy and sweet wake-ups. It's a roll of the dice as to which wake-up they'll get on a given day.
While Astarion doesn't need to sleep, the longer they spend together the more often he chooses to sleep, and he keeps a stack of books on his nightstand so he can read when he wakes up without leaving Miss Fortune's embrace. Not for any sentimental reason, mind you. It's practical, all right? Miss Fortune sleeps better that way and their fragile mortal body needs that sleep. And it's warm. So sue him if he likes a little warmth! Speak not of how comforting listening to their heartbeat is, or that obnoxious, incessant fuzzy feeling he gets in his chest, those are completely irrelevant. Astarion will not be answering anymore questions because he most assuredly is not going soft on us all, thank you.
🛌 Who hogs the blankets?
Miss Fortune is a barnacle, an adorable growth. They are terminal and inoperable. Some part of them has to be touching Astarion at all times or they will wake up and grow restless, feeling the edge of anxiety creeping in. They smother the poor vampire. So the blanket/bed debate depends entirely on whether Astarion feels like being touched all night. When he's down for it, no blankets are hogged and Miss Fortune sleeps practically comatose in their two-person blanket cocoon.
On nights when he shifts away from them, they will basically chase him off the bed entirely, one needy wiggle at a time, in their unconscious pursuit of his touch. They have a comfortable chaise lounge in their suite Astarion can sleep on instead on those nights, and he keeps a separate blanket and pillow on it. Miss Fortune sleeps like shit the moment he's gone but they never complain. They know they're a lot and respect his need to not be touched sometimes.
😴 Who snores?
Neither, although Miss Fortune occasionally talks in their sleep which Astarion secretly finds adorable and then teases them for in the morning.
🚔 Who gets them both in trouble? What for?
Define trouble. If by trouble you mean getting caught, well, they're innocent babies who have never done anything wrong in their lives. Nothing provable, anyway (yes I am borrowing lovingly from that viral Actual Play clip with Samantha and Neil).
But caught or not, it is about equal for getting up to trouble. Miss Fortune is an egregious enabler and the rogues feed off each other's energy in true "yes, and..." fashion except that they lose sense of where the cut-off should be and they wind up going overboard.
For example, their friends no longer invite them for double dates because they wind up embarrassing the other couple by constantly one-upping each other in flirtations and suggestive comments/gestures until one of them is in the other's lap and they're on the cusp of public indecency.
As for trouble of the illegal sort, well...they run a spy/assassination network together. They ARE the trouble.
VP by the fabulous @dramatiquechipmunk
🥂 What do they do for date night?
Besides each other? *ahem*
Astarion loves to take Miss Fortune dancing, getting lost in the way they lose themselves to the pure joy of movement. It's something Miss Fortune chooses to reclaim from their former life, the love of dance having been warped and tainted along the way.
That said, once the tavern dancing is done Miss Fortune will often treat Astarion to the other kind of dance at home. I wrote this very type of evening for Kinktober last year called "The Only Dance I Need." (18+, in case "Kinktober" wasn't enough of a hint).
A date night in involves pampering and body worship. Hopelessly devoted, Miss Fortune gives Astarion the full spa treatment: luxurious bath with herbs and salts, scalp and body massage, anointing every bit of his body with scented oils, caring for his claws nails and his curls, the full skincare routine Astarion's always teasing Miss Fortune for following (but he joins in anyway). All the while Astarion gets to bliss out and relax with a glass of wine or blood. Miss Fortune could spend hours fussing over him, losing themselves to the joy of devotion.
Being on the receiving end of the same treatment, however? It was a war of attrition to get them to relax enough to accept kindness and nice things. It took years and many small victories before Astarion could turn the home spa date into a mutual endeavor. Most of those victories had to be worded from the perspective of Astarion's enjoyment ("you know what would make this bath even better? Some company, darling...") When he went too far too fast, offering a return oiling and massage, their entire body remained stiff and trembling, pulse thundering, the whole time. Astarion had to cut it short and fix them their anxiety tea.
(One thing I enjoy exploring in this couple/ship is how they respond to similar traumas differently, and this is one way. At least in my universe, Astarion much more quickly adopts the "I've been through hell, so why in the hells shouldn't I be spoiled and pampered by the person I love?!" whereas Miss Fortune struggles with feelings of unworthiness, of being/asking too much, for much longer.)
🎂 What do they do for their anniversary?
Miss Fortune and Astarion don't celebrate any kind of dating anniversary because they can't agree on when it would be. Instead they celebrate Miss Fortune's Name Day and Astarion's "Rebirth Day". On their day they get to call all the shots for a full 24 hours. Miss Fortune's day is often boring, they insist on being allowed to rot in bed all day and they love every moment of it. Astarion uses his day to his full advantage, being a complete menace. The flavor of menace varies depending on his mood, it's not all rotten; one Rebirth Day he commanded Miss Fortune to spoil themselves because they never do, and they had to hire a carriage home to transport all the goods they were lovingly cajoled into purchasing.
Once they eventually marry, they pretend to care about anniversaries because it's "the thing to do" and will go out for a nice meal and a play, somewhere they will be seen enjoying each other in case anyone cares to take note. But really their love is celebrated daily in the graze of a thumb across the cheek, the whisper of a kiss on the forehead, a bedtime story read aloud, a freshly brewed mug of tea...
🎨 Any hobbies in common? What do they like to do together?
Besides activities already mentioned, they share a love of clothing and sewing. It goes deeper than merely running the tailor shop together. When they travel, they enjoy visiting all the local marketplaces in search of the most interesting fabrics possible and people watching to pick up on fashion trends. They purchase freely and have whatever doesn't fit in their trunks transported back home either by arranging delivery with the merchant or, if they've a spy stronghold in that area, having their cohorts take care of it.
And they love sewing things for each other. They've got one another's measurements memorized and delight in attempting to sneakily tailor new garments, from gowns and suits to spy cloaks with an obscene number of hidden pockets and weapon straps to the most alluring lingerie they can dream up. When a new piece is finished, they'll lay it out on the other's side of the bed, or hang it on the door of the bathroom while they're bathing, etc. Just a casual loot drop while they wait gleefully for a reaction.
Another hobby they have is sparring. The rogues have a secret underground area in their home (because of course they do) stocked with all manner of weapons and training courses. While they both prefer daggers, over time they master any number of other light weapons. They train and spar until they're so exhausted they can scarcely move, but there is joy in honing their bodies together and in the knowledge that while they are each deadly on their own, together they are nearly indomitable.
☁ Who’s the big spoon? The little spoon? / What’s their favorite cuddle position?
Miss Fortune is nearly always the big spoon. Their happy place is right behind Astarion, arms wrapped around him while the vampire nibbles and kisses their knuckles. Astarion enjoys the safe feeling of being enveloped, of his scars being covered by the soft, warm skin of his beloved.
Their favorite cuddle position is Miss Fortune lying on their back with Astarion on top of them, ear to their chest. MF likes having an Astarion blanket and Astarion likes to listen to their heart beating as close as he can get.
When Miss Fortune has a panic attack at home, they sit in Astarion's lap and he holds them through the peak, rocking them back and forth and whispering comforts until their mind can slow down enough to feel safe again.
😈 What’s their favorite other position?
After each bedding thousands of people against their wills, the rogues need a good long time of secure attachment together. The need to discover what's "real" and stop performing also factors in to create an atmosphere of cautious exploration.
For a long while, they're still figuring out what they like, how they prefer to be touched, so they're less interested in being adventurous for its own sake. And besides, there's a certain thrill to being allowed to have clumsy, needy, grabby-hands sex with someone they love after so many years of dissociating and letting muscle memory kick in. They prefer intimate positions where as much of their bodies are connected as possible, kissing is encouraged, eye contact is a treasured bonus, and extensive aftercare is mandatory (Astarion will not budge on that, not that MF would dream of arguing).
They're vers, but if it matters to point out they frequently lean in the direction of power bottom Astarion/service top Miss Fortune. So their favorite go-to is Astarion riding - he's in charge of how he finds pleasure and Miss Fortune, a creature driven by touch, has the vantage point to let their hands roam and also tap into Astarion's praise kink by telling him how amazing he is.
They also both have oral fixations and frequently enjoy unraveling each other in many other ways that don't involve penetration at all.
🍯 What cutesy nicknames (honey, sweetie, doll, etc.) do they have for each other?
In private: Astarion uses their true name, Sasha, whenever possible. For a while, Astarion's the only one "living" who knows their true name, and he covets everything that is only for him. He continues using Sasha privately even once they formally adopt the name Sasha Amastacia in public because MF finds it grounding and endearing.
Early in their relationship (platonic, then friends, then lovers) Astarion would call them "little bird" because of their analogy they were like a broken-winged bird trapped in a gilded cage, but he never calls them such again once they are free of their chains. Astarion probably throws out any number of other pet names over the years but nothing makes Miss Fortune melt quite like a simple "Sasha" in that voice that drives them mad.
Miss Fortune, in private, is a total sap and sticks to a celestial theme, calling Astarion "Star," "my star," "my guiding star," "my moonbeam," "my galaxy," etc... but if they're being silly and looking to push his buttons they'll call him whatever stupid thing they can come up with in the moment like "bloodmuffin," "sugar fangs," "my pale princess," "my blinding beacon," etc.
🌶 How often do they have sex?
It varies wildly. There are stretches where they can't get enough of each other, times when one or both of them cannot stand to be touched, and everything in between. Healing is messy and nonlinear but each of them gets it and there is no pressure from either side.
Miss Fortune begins healing and exploring their sexuality again sooner than Astarion does and they recognize how hard it is for him to feel safe saying no. To combat that they playfully goad him to tell them to "go fuck yourself" when he's not in the mood, and the sheer delight of being a bit naughty and profane helps make it easier.
🔥 What’s their safe word?
"Evereska." Both assume they have hereditary roots to the place but no active ties or affiliations so it's unlikely to come up in regular conversation. They don't often need to use it in bed, but they come to use it plenty as a code to get their partner to stand down when tempers are flaring at the wrong time (not at each other, when dealing with others.)
Beyond that, while they don't have anything as advanced as @litsenn's colours system that Ellith and Astarion use, they have a "gods yes" policy (enthusiastic consent). If it's not a "gods/hells yes" or at a minimum "I'd like to try and see if it's a gods yes" then it's a no. And if at any point it stops being a "gods yes" they stop, no questions asked. Sometimes there are tears during intimacy, happy or otherwise, and they may not finish what they start. The moment one notices the other dissociate, they pause and check in. It's all very fluid.
💖 What do they do that the other loves?
There's so much but this is already impossibly long so I'll try to limit myself.
Astarion loves:
How Miss Fortune stayed emotionally soft despite the hardships they endured
The way Miss Fortune shifts between masculine, androgynous, and feminine depending on the outfit they choose and how they do their hair and makeup
How their eyes never fail to light up when they land on him, how even after years together they still wet their lips in anticipation of a kiss; he just loves the way they love him and I think that's valid 😭
Miss Fortune's skill with daggers and poisons will never not be alluring to him. The couple that slays together stays together
When Miss Fortune gets lost in a joyful task and starts humming Dwarven folk songs to themselves
Catching Miss Fortune practicing dance moves when they think he's not looking
Miss Fortune loves:
Watching Astarion teach the Reithwin children all the best sleight of hand and pickpocketing tricks (Halsin neither approves nor intervenes); just watching him interact with the kids in general makes them feral for him
When Astarion brushes and braids their hair
Anytime Astarion fusses over them for any reason, even if on the surface they act embarrassed and it's uncomfortable to accept the love at first
When Astarion makes them tea or attempts to cook for them on the house staffs' days off. The food isn't always great but it's the thought that counts
When Astarion gives them a spontaneous foot rub when they're reading together
🌹 Who was the first to say “I love you”? (How did that go over?)
Haven't gotten there in my fic yet but Miss Fortune's been playing chicken with themselves over it for a while now so it's only a matter of time before they crack. It will probably be them, and it will likely be a bumbling, emotional, accidental rush of words past lips because they cannot be contained any longer, followed by immediately walking it back because they realize Astarion's not there yet and don't want to pressure him.
Theirs is not a relationship of sweet, courtly romance but one of reclamation, of hard-won battles against their traumas. They are not soul mates, they choose each other every day and have carved their love into their very bones, bit by agonizing bit.
💍 Who proposes? How?
[REDACTED] I have big plans for the proposal and I don't think there's anything I could say here that wouldn't be a spoiler beyond this: you better believe it's going to be extra as fuck and probably sweet enough to rot your teeth out.
🌼 Kids, pets, or plants? How many?
Kids: NOPE. But they love being Unty Fortune and Uncle Star to Halsin's Reithwin kiddos and visit several times a year to spoil them with gifts, teach them plenty of bad habits, shower them with attention, stories, and games, and then go back home to revel in the silence and solitude. There may be a few kiddos who "age out" of Halsin's care and choose to become spies for them.
Pets: His Majesty! And a long-haired black cat I think they're going to name Miss Tique (play on mystique in case that wasn't obvious)
Plants: Whatever is in vogue for socialites; the house staff will care for them either way.
🕷 Who kills the spider?
Spider? WHERE?! Time to burn the whole house down. Pack a go bag, we're moving. j/k, house staff will relocate the spiders so Astarion doesn't squash them mercilessly. Miss Fortune would just leave them be otherwise.
















