#dating issues

[areyouafraidofdating]

This is so true 😂🤣😂🤣

[tendie-defender]

[heygingergirl]

[daily-coloring]

[rasnak2]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

@makrohweek

Prompt: Day 7 - Freeday

Rating: T

Summary: Iroh had trust issues when it comes to dating. It shouldn't be surprising, considering that people had broken his heart multiple times...

Warnings: Implied cheating, break ups, implied sexual content (explicit)

[the-chime]

Dating a Narcissist

8/13/20 I do not feel okay, and I understand now that I have to fix this without you. Your opinion of how you view us together is not my truth. You often choose not to agree with my approach or view on situations. We are not in a balanced relationship.  I feel spent, drained, and compromised. This is not how love should feel. You rarely ask how I feel unless I ask to tell you. You make me feel that talking too much, or too often is the source of the issue, instead of realizing we are just not working out. This relationship is between you and I, but I feel that what you feel and need is the most important thing to you. This is not an “us” relationship, this is a “you” relationship built around what I make you feel. I am not here to please only you, we are meant to pleasure and nurture each other with love and confidence, not painful words and selfishness. I will not allow words to fix how I feel because it is a temporary resolution. Each time the comfort fades quicker and I realize now the truth. We are not going to work out together and that is okay.

[relationship-advice]

[10:58] ending relationships is hard, because the only person that can make you happy is the one that you just ended things with.  it takes a long time to find something else to make you as happy as that person did.  

[schroedingersk8]

10.The_Misconception

Whenever I talk about dating, or dating prospects, or whenever I am asked about it, both as a mortal human and as an Eternal and Ageless Deity, people presume that the biggest problem I face, or the biggest problem we face, as Dominatrices, is our work. It is firmly perceived so, and exists like a giant, latex clad shiny Elephant in the room... Something that so many people see and think of that no one even questions.

Back in the day, when I was still thinking about becoming a professional Dominatrix, before K8 Morgan was even conceived, when I was still at the stage of picking a “good name” (initially I went with Alice Morgan, until I had to change it because the me-Alice started ranking above the beloved BBC-Luther-Alice in Google search!), a good friend of mine, who previously has tried to date me, was warning me about the potential decimation of my dating prospects if I “Go Pro”. Not out of any ill will, just out of genuine concern as to what people might think of dating someone who is a professional sex worker. Because forewarned means forearmed...

And I thought about it, thought long and hard. I too, thought that would cause a major issue, with a lot of people. I, too, was worried that I’d become a pariah, excluded entirely from my social circle, or forever living a double life, lying to those closest to me. I, too, as someone who was thinking of becoming a professional Dominatrix, had those misgivings and misconceptions. This is why now, when I do get judged on my choices, I do not hold it against people. I know why, and I have been there myself. And I’d much rather have my choice respected and accepted by people who walk away than have people who stay try and change it.

I spoke to my both ex-husbands (I consider ex-husbands as family that you do choose, but can no longer live with), they both weren’t particularly thrilled, though the first was very concerned for my safety more than anything. Second tried to offer me more money not to, and was generally shocked, shocked and hurt. I told a few friends, and they, too, had some various concerns, more related to health and safety, though, some to future dating. At that point we all knew only theoretically what #dommework entails. 

But overall, with the exception of my beloved second ex, everyone was quite supportive, actually. And so, having promised to my Privy Council that the moment this causes even a slight problem, I will get out, I took the plunge. I decided to keep it low key and quiet at first, just in case I hate it and decide to drop it and never mention it again. And what I learned about the world in general, the society, relationship dynamics, myself, and men in the last 6 years, and because of my work, I found truly astonishing!

The main thing being that, despite my “pro” choice six years ago, my friends are still my friends (even the guy who has previously tried to date me), my dear ex-husbands still love and care (the second less so, but only because his new wife hates me), my parents still love me, my job has never been a problem for the guys I did date, and no, at no point did I feel that I had to “settle” for someone or make allowances. So, all and all:

Becoming a professional Dominatrix has not become a dating issue! 

Why and how? About that in my next post, as this one will become too long!

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