Online grimoire/journal, page No. 1 (probably more than that but its been years. Let's call it page one).
Getting to know my tarot deck/reintroducing myself to the community.
(In this post I write briefly about not feeling like I'm in tune with my practice, or myself at all, and then I get into my interview with my "new" tarot deck. If you just want to see the interview, keep scrolling until you see "The Interview". I think a more journal-style grimoire is the direction my posts might go. I don't see a lot of people talking about their shortcomings in this community, or maybe I just don't follow the right people who do. I used to be super active in this community, 1k followers who actually kind of cared and interacted with me on tumblr and discord. I did online readings, made posts about spells I've done, things like that. Well this isn't going to be like that. This is for me. If you feel as though you're lacking/want to get back into your practice, I feel the same. You can come with me on this journey and follow, or you can just read this and go about your day, or you can scroll right past it without giving it a thought, anything you choose to do is ok! I might share personal things on this blog. Not super personal, they will all be related to witchcraft, but instead of giving other's advice I'm going to be writing down my practices, tarot card readings, and everything else as a reference for myself. If that type of journey interests you, I implore you to give a follow and come along. Maybe if I know people are interested in that style of blog, it might motivate me to do it more lol. Thanks.)
I don't really read tarot...In fact I don't even think I can call myself a practicing witch. I've been on and off for just a little under a decade. Sounds like a long time when I say it like that, and I know so many things but I'm also still beginning my journey. CONSTANTLY beginning the same journey over and over again, it feels like.
Anyways, I got a new tarot deck probably two or three years ago...I actually got 3 new decks at the same time, and I've really only sort of used one. I've felt bad about it for a while. They just sit there collecting dust. For some reason, I was feeling drawn to this deck in particular and decided to go ahead and try my hand at getting to know the deck. Needless to say, it was a very insightful "interview" if you can even call it that. I wrote small passages in my notebook, but I wanted to type here to get my thoughts out. This might be long, you don't have to read it, I'm sort of more doing it for me...as a journal entry type thing I guess, but also as a reference to my interview with the deck so I have a more detailed version of it than just what's in my notebook. I just didn't want to use up more notebook that I needed to.
Deck: The Antique Anatomy Tarot Deck
Why I bought it: I was intrigued by the name and the art style. It's beige which I like, and I love bones and antique type things so I figured hey why not.
Why I was drawn to it today: Recently I've been thinking about things I can do to help better myself. Growth wise. It's more about me and less about coming back into my practice. I have a couple decks that I thought about but none of them seemed right. Until, DUH! Antique Anatomy. It's literally focusing on the self, and not just the outer self but LITERALLY the inner self as well. That seemed helpful.
I started by cleansing it with incense smoke. I didn't do anything in particular, just held it over an incense stick that was already burning and talked to it a little.
Then, I looked at the cards. Actually looked at them. Took mental note of the colors being used, what bones were on which card, what the labels on the elixir cards said, what flowers were used in the art (if I was able to identify them by eye), how many of each flower/certain things were on the cards. I looked at EVERYTHING.
And Now, The Good Stuff. (there are 6 questions, in each one I'll include the card pulled, the zodiac sign/element related to it, numbers such as the number of the card or how many of a specific thing were on the card, and colors used on the card. I'll include key words that relate to all of those things, and then lastly I'll include my interpretation for each one.)
Please Introduce Yourself.
Death: Scorpio - 3 - 4 - 6 - Red - Black
Key words: Stability, fairness, solution, growth, regeneration, passion, love, power, pain, necessary, emotional.
My interpretation: When I flipped the card, I literally said "how did I know it was going to be death?". I was thinking it to myself as a joke, but then I flipped it and BOOM. Death. That's alright, though. Also I find it interesting the deck showed me a Scorpio card as an introduction. I'm a Virgo, and I love/hate Scorpios. They have taught me so much, some have damaged me, some have loved me endlessly, and currently I'm in a relationship with a Scorpio. Very prevalent sign in my life. I think by introducing itself with this card, it's telling me that it is an emotional and powerful deck. It sees itself as necessary, powerful, un-biased, but at the same time also very passionate, loving, and may even acknowledge that it might sometimes tell me things I don't want to hear. It also seems to be good at helping people explore their shadow, which is interesting because that's actually something I've been doing recently, witchcraft aside.
2. What are your strengths?
7 of Rods: Fire - 5 - 7 - Yellow - Orange
Key words: Evaluation, patience, conflict, perspective, determined, optimistic, growth, success, does not give up in the face of adversity, experienced warrior.
My interpretation: By showing me the 7 of rods in response to what the deck's strengths are, I think it's telling me that it's main strengths are focused around personal growth, which I guess makes sense. It's telling me that no matter how hard it gets, or how often or little I use it, it has the patience and determination to still help me through whatever I may need guidance on. That's very kind, thank you deck. It's also telling me that it knows and has seen a lot, which I don't doubt at all. By just sitting on my shelves, it has seen me through heartache, love, sickness, new jobs, new homes, depression, happiness, tears I've cried and why I've cried them, it has seen every part of me. It has perspective that maybe I don't, and it's optimistic that we can work together to better myself.
3. What are your limitations?
Strength: Leo - 6 - 8 - Red
Key words: Control, artistic expression, ego, anger, passion, values, understanding, calm demeanor, quiet resolve, understanding.
My interpretation: Okay this one was really interesting and sort of seems like the deck pulled a "my biggest weakness is that I'm too passionate about my work!" on me, but let's see if I can make some sense out of it. By showing me Strength in response to what the deck's limitations are, I believe it's trying to tell me that it does find itself a little big-headed or mainstream in a sense. Just looking at the key word "artistic expression" makes me think it's telling me to try to look further than just the colors and numbers on the cards, because maybe what the artist is trying to express isn't precisely going to align with what I need to hear, but the deck can't express that? Some other limitations it may be trying to express is that it's not going to be quiet about things. Besides maybe sometimes having to dig past the art for guidance, it's not going to sugarcoat or hold my hand. As much as it will support and have patience for me, that doesn't mean it's going to baby me. I appreciate that.
4. What can I learn from you?
Page of Coins: Earth - 6 - Blue - Purple
Key words: Fairness, values, orderly, determined, calm, peace, grief, sadness, prophecy, dreams, high power, studious, diligent, introvert, misses out on lighthearted aspects of life, buckle down, study, money, creativity.
My interpretation: I think by showing me the page of coins in response to what I can learn from the deck, it's telling me that I can learn how to be more in tune with myself, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It's telling me that I can learn to dig into myself (and perhaps my shadow?) to find out more about myself. It's telling me it can show me how to interpret my dreams better, it can help me stay more focused, and potentially even help me connect with a something higher than myself again. All of this seems essential for my own personal growth, and if I can learn that from this deck then I would love to work more with it.
5. What is the best way to work with you?
2 of Coins: Earth - 2 - Yellow - Purple
Key words: Balance, duality, opposing forces, orderly, determined, optimism, growth, prophecy, dreams, higher power, harmony, over-indulgence, stagnant, creative solutions.
My interpretation: By showing me the 2 of coins in response to the best way to work with the deck, I think it's telling me a couple ways, both deck and user focused. One thing it's telling me is that it might work better with a higher power also helping? I don't exactly have one I guess...I love Aphrodite and have had altars for her in the past, and still consider her my patron Goddess but it's been so long. I'd have to rekindle that relationship and I don't know if I'm ready for that right now. It also seems to be telling me that it can work better by helping interpret my dreams, too? I've never considered using a tarot deck as a dream interpreter, but I do get prophetic dreams in a sense and I take my dreams very seriously, so maybe that's something to consider. I think it's also telling me that the best way to work with it is to stop over indulging myself in things that aren't good for my mental or physical health, which makes sense. How can one effectively get guidance when they aren't in the right state of mind or physical well-being? All in all, I think that the most important thing it's trying to tell me is that no matter what I may or may not do, we can work well together if I stay optimistic and determined to grow. If I ever stop having the motivation to better myself, then it doesn't think it can do much for me.
6. What is the outcome of our relationship?
Knight of Elixirs: Water - 4 - Purple
Key words: Stability, foundation, nurturing, caring, mystery, prophecy, dreams, high power, luxury, expansion, growth, loving, appreciate beautiful things, affectionate disposition, finding ideal partner.
My interpretation: By showing me this card in response to the outcome of our relationship, I think it's telling me that I'll be able to have a little bit more routine and stability in my everyday life. I think it's also telling me I'll be able to connect with my subconscious mind more, as well as my softer emotions such as nurturing, caring, and loving. It can help me appreciate smaller things in life instead of always looking at the bigger picture. By "finding the ideal partner" I think the deck means that it can help me find things in everyday life that will help with my personal growth. Ideal things to interact with and love besides literally the people and animals I love.
Very insightful. If you got through this whole thing, thanks for reading. I'm going to post a bit more frequently and hopefully that will actually help me gain the motivation to do this stuff more than just once every 6 months. I think it's essential for my personal growth, and for some reason I'm really obsessed with that right now but I lack the time and motivation. I don't actually lack time, but things are hard when you wake up late and you feel like every day is sleep, work, maybe eat, sleep, repeat. Here's to hoping this is the beginning of a new chapter for me.
