CW: ex-evangelical/near-fundamentalist rant. Discussion of religious trauma, the 1800s Reformation in America. Bashes a little on Catholics and a LOT on my specific denomination of origin.
In a way, it was almost inevitable that I would break away from the church I was raised in (for context purposes: mainline church of Christ, a product of the 1800s American Reformation. Aka Mormonism without the Book of Mormon). Let me explain:
The church of Christ (COC) is described by Wikipedia as "a conservative group of congregations distinguished by their prohibition of instrumental music in worship." This is true, among other things. The COC in fact disregards, diminishes, and "debunks" most key aspects of, say, Catholic Christian worship and history. The whole point of the COC is that it is "the first century church restored." Which means they think they practice the way the first Christians did (yes, this is as problematic and hypocritical as you might imagine).
The above means that the COC does not recognize the saints of Catholicism, or any other denomination. Instrumental music is not used. Cathedrals are not considered holy, and in fact there is great emphasis on the church not being the building but the gathering body of Christians who worship inside it.
( It is my belief that this stems from the COC originating in more rural parts of 1800s America, where there are notably No Gothic Cathedrals and most people worshiped in smaller buildings, in homes, or outside. I do not know if this is backed up by history. )
Furthermore: any and all other Christian practitioners are considered sinners because they don't practice the way the COC "first century church" does. Use instruments in worship? Invalid. Have a church choir? Invalid. Take communion only once/a few times a year? Have ceremonies associated with doing so? Invalid. Recognize Mary as more than just a Bible Figure (re: the long history of the worship of Mary)? Idol worship. Believe in the saints? Also idol worship.
If you can't find substantiated evidence in the Bible itself (only the KJV! Or the NKJV! Almost everything else is a Poor Translation and Wrong) then it's not allowed.
( It is at this point I roll my eyes and point out: we have air conditioning in most modern COC churches. And running water. And heat. And electricity. Those are not in the Bible and the first century church *gasp* DIDN'T HAVE THEM EITHER! )
So what's the point? What's the TL;DR of the above?
The COC stripped away everything built around Christianity from Constantine until the American Civil War, kept the induction of fear, shame and guilt, and took the most barebones reading of the Bible ever and ran with it. God is loving, but cruel. There are no saints for you to pray to. There are no miracles (those ended with the apostles). There is nothing left to save you but your fear in/of God and the desperate hope that you might live well enough to make it into Heaven.
There's nothing there to hold onto once you get rid of the fear and realize you're being needlessly dangled over a firey pit.
There's nothing there to catch you if you don't have that fear, if you move past the shame and the guilt. And once you do, not only can you see the church of Christ for what it really is, but it's also infinitely easier (at least mentally) to leave it behind. Ergo, as I came to know and love and trust myself, of course I was going to fucking leave.
Because the Church of Christ (and many other denominations of Christianity) was constructed on unhealthy practices and depends on shitty mental health. Relieving that dissolves the need (or in my case, the ability at all) to remain.
