When I first met you I had no idea you would become so important to me. You told me everything would be alright if I let you into my life; wrong. You became the object of my affection. I was more infatuated with you thrn I had ever been with anything in my life. My love for you made me blind.
You made me depend on you and nothing but you. When you weren’t around I would get scared, panic, scream and cry. You were my first thought in the morning and my last at night. There was nothing that could keep me from you. Nothing I wouldn’t do, no place I would go, no distance I wouldn’t travel. Rules went out the window. I started stealing, lying, manipulating and being totally reckless. You made me do terrible things I would have never otherwise done. You made my life completely unmanageable when I had nothing left to manage. You made me feel ashamed to go around my own mother because I wasn’t the same old kid she knew anymore.
For you I even endured the sickness, sickness that came when you were not around. It felt like hell and the type of hell I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I wanted to die because I thought I couldn’t make it through. But even when you were the sickness I thought of you as the cure. You told me I couldn’t live without you and I believed your lies. You consumed me into a permanent hell and I thought I had no escspe. I know not that is not how it has to be.
You messed up too many years of my life but I’ve still got my whole life ahead of me. I’m lucky you didn’t put me into the ground although many times I wanted to be dead. I still see you in my dreams but you’re not a dream you’re a nightmare. You are the worst thing to ever come into my life.
Everyday I am picking myself back up from the pieces you shattered. I will put myself back together and you will not own me anymore. This time, my life comes first.