#gi fatui

[carbon333um]

[spagoleon]

Pierro: Some people ask me how I manage the Fatui Harbingers.

Pierro: Truth is, I don’t. I have no control over them.

Pierro: This morning, Pantalone asked to show me something, so I went to see what was going on. And then Tartaglia shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun while Sandrone almost choked on her own laughter.

[spagoleon]

Il Dottore: Poison is actually a magical transmutation potion that transforms people into corpses. 

La Signora: This knife is actually a magic wand. 

Childe: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. 

Scaramouche: [Cocks gun] Magic missile.

[spagoleon]

Scaramouche: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Childe: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

[spagoleon]

Nahida: We need to distract these guys.

Scaramouche: Leave it to me.

Scaramouche: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Fatui: [Immediately start arguing]

Nahida, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.

[spagoleon]

Scaramouche: And all the haters say "Aren't you wanted by the state?"

Scaramouche: And it’s like, I’m wanted by a lot of people, okay? That’s the price of being pretty.

Scaramouche: Anyways I did commit a smidge of homicide-

[spagoleon]

When they first met, maybe.

Childe: So... what do you do for a living?

Il Dottore: I work in genetic research and I’m currently trying to eliminate all cancers.

Childe: Wow that’s so Impressive!

Il Dottore: I will shortly be moving onto leos.

[spagoleon]

Scaramouche: I'm not helping you.

Il Dottore: Why not?

Il Dottore:

Il Dottore: Is this because I once betrayed you?

Scaramouche: YES! It was literally our last interaction!