my TBR is not a list. it’s a crime scene.
like if someone ever investigates my phone they’ll be like:
“this person was not trying to be okay.”
first of all—let’s talk about Runaway by Bazookah on Wattpad.
because yes, i started it and yes, i am already emotionally attached and no, i will not be stopping.
BUT the way this trilogy treated me???
i DNF’ed it. not even dramatically. i just quietly closed the app and whispered, “i cannot stand this man.”
and let me tell you—i have NEVER hated a male lead or female lead like that in my life. like that takes TALENT.
the ml? tested my patience.
the fl? also tested my patience.
together? they tested my will to live.
so i skipped to Getaway like a rebel.
Adrik and Celena had me feeling things. like suddenly i was smiling at my phone like a loser.
i was like “oh so THIS is what love in this universe is supposed to feel like.”
Nico and Josie have already stolen my soul and i JUST started. like excuse me??? i just met you and you’re already my emotional support fictional couple??
so yes—Runaway is currently holding me hostage and i am not even mad about it.
NOW. let’s talk about the rest of my never-ending emotional destruction list.
“what if you reread everything that ever traumatized you?”
– Zodiac Academy reread. because why not relive betrayal, heartbreak, enemies, chaos twins, and emotional damage?
– Fourth Wing reread. yes, the one with Liam. yes, THAT Liam. yes, i will cry again like it’s my first time.
– Never Keep series. because i apparently enjoy complicated fantasy and emotional suffering.
– This Woven Kingdom series. soft pain, pretty writing, emotional tension.
– Addicted/Calloway Sisters reread because i stopped at Fuel the Fire and my brain has since deleted all memory. like i remember vibes. not plot.
– Boys of Tommen reread because pain, healing, trauma, love, and me crying at ungodly hours is tradition now.
– Start Plated Prisoner series which everyone says will emotionally destroy me and honestly? i’m scared.
– Start House of Devils because people said Darien is like Xaden Riorson and i have never once been normal about Xaden.
– Northshore series because dark romance is apparently my coping mechanism.
– Loving the Tormentor because fictional men with issues are my weakness.
– And then romcoms like The Golden Summer and Left of Forever so i don’t fully lose my mind.
because my reading life is basically:
one cute book so i don’t collapse
me questioning my life choices
i’m doing all this knowing i’ll reread Fourth Wing, relive Liam’s death, emotionally spiral, and STILL pick up the next painful book like:
“maybe this one will heal me.”
i have a carefully curated emotional damage playlist in book form.