#jackass headcanons

[lilithknoxville]

yeah….

[xx-st44r-xx]

HIII!! I was hoping that i could request a fanfic?? I think your writing is sooo good and i would absolutely love a fanfic about fem reader x Ryan Dunn!! Total fluff where reader had broken her leg and has to rest but she still wants to hang out with the guys and what not while they are filming stunts and pranks and stuff so Ryan takes care of her for the day and like carries her around and stuff!! Like a whole lot of Ryan carrying her LOLOL

Thank youuu!!! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Knight In Shining Armor - Ryan Dunn pt.1

Ryan Dunn x fem!reader

Fluff fic <33

This is one of my favourite requests! I loved to write this first part! I felt like it was a little too long for Tumblr so this is just the first part, but the second one is coming real soon! Speaking of coming soon, the Jackass comfort hcs are on their way, but meanwhile, please feel free to make any requests please!

It was a very  warm summer day, the sun shone over the tree that was in your house’s garden and as expected, you had to stay inside even if the temperature made you feel as if you were on fire.

You looked at your right bedside table, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. You were unable to do much else, you longed to be with your friends, but due to you breaking your leg a few days before and the injury still being pretty fresh, you couldn't hang out with them for at least a month more.

You browsed through all the channels, Jersey Shore, The Kardashians, some random football game… Nothing was interesting enough to entertain you for the day, so you decided to turn off the screen, grumbling and passing a rough hand over your face, turning over in bed, facing belly down on your mattress.

You closed your eyes, hoping at least to catch some more sleep until they put something good on, you felt a little pissed at your friends, none of them had shown up to visit after you broke your leg, especially annoyed by Ryan and Bam, who you saw as your best friends, but as it seemed, your body was not collaborating and didn’t want to let you drift off. You grumbled again “Jesus Christ…” 

Standing on just one leg, you were able to reach your closet and open it just to find that you only had one piece of clothing inside: A metal armor, it seemed to be a replica of a knight armor from medieval times.

Before you could take anything in, loud banging noises came from outside your room and quickly into it, Bam, Ryan, Rake, Raab and Dico had bursted in, yelling loudly and with some type of march coming from a speaker Rake had in hands, Bam, with a big, lousy bright crown and a long king cape, along with a really big cane with a jewel in it. Rake, Raab and Ryan were also dressed as knights while Dico seemed to be dressed as a Jester.

“Of course it’s all of you, I should’ve expected it…” you sighed, grabbing the clothes, still trying to stay stable standing on only one leg, giving them a side glance as they stood in place, punching each other in the stomach. “Are you guys going to watch me change? Turn around at least!” you looked at the singular armor shoe properly “This is not even for the right foot!”  you yelled and Bam smirked, throwing you the other shoe, all of them turning around to leave you some strange kind of privacy for changing.

“Okay, I’m done”, you stated as you finished changing and the boys turned around and looked at you, seeing you as you leaned against your closet, waiting for them to move and be able to grab your crutches. 

“Can you at least hand me my crutches?” you asked as they moved to stand right in front of you crutches, still keeping that same still pose and the march music from Rake’s speaker. 

Dico grabbed a parchment roll from inside his brightly colored pants and unrolled it, reading out loud the contents even though the paper had nothing written on it. “The council of the army of Castle Bam state that your presence is needed on the front lines of the war against the evil country of FatBoy and their presidents Phil and Don Vito” 

You let out a soft laugh as you rolled your eyes slightly. “Fine, I’ll go” Before you could react, Ryan had grabbed you by the waist, already halfway down your house staircase. “I wasn’t even able to grab my crutches!” and you heard Ryan laugh from under his knight helmet. “You won’t need ‘em”

Before you could realise, you were already sitting in the back of Bam's car next to Ryan, driving off to Castle Bam. The rides were always the same, Bam and Ryan in the front, Rake Raab, Dico and you in the four person backseat, but that day the distribution changed, Bam drove, as usual, but Rake was in the Front and Ryan sat beside you in the back. “How’s the leg?” he asked softly as he raised the cap from his helmet, his brown eyes, slightly hidden by some blond locs, looking directly at you, gentle and kind over the loud punches, music and yelling. You felt how a warmness that definitely wasn’t from the summer day rose to your cheeks “It’s fine, still a little sore” you saw as Ryan’s eyes closed slightly from a smile on his face, his tone unsurprisingly gentle with you, he was always like that “I figured, you ate concrete trying that trick”  

“GOD, GET A ROOM!” Bam yelled from the front, throwing an empty plastic bottle to the back seats, targeted at you and Ryan, but accidentally hitting Raab in the head and therefore inducing laughter from Bam and Rake in the front seats.

Sorry again if it's a bit oddly phrased, english still isn't my first language. Hope you guys liked this first part!

Please reblog and / or like if you liked this, it helps my page boost <333

[chayawaxman]

I loveeee your ehren headcannons!! Would you ever write more angsty hcs for the other Jackass guys? (I love your posts 🩷)

angsty headcanons - jackass cast edition!

johnny knoxville

— he never raises his voice at you. ever. that’s the thing that he was taught during his early years, so even if the tension reaches core-of-the-earth level, he won’t go above the normal conversation tone. 

— when he’s worried or anxious during an argument, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he slides them through his hair or touches his face. it’s an involuntary reflex, sending you a clear signal that a lot of unspoken thoughts are going through his mind.

— he doesn’t like to argue while driving, so if you ever start to fight about something while sitting in the car, he will drive to the nearest stop to talk about it and be able to catch eye contact.

— he might seem careless and irresponsible sometimes, but this guy has a memory like one of the eldest elephants. if some guy around you gives him a weird feeling, he won’t forget his face, even if it happened a few years ago. he definitely won’t stop being vigilant about him, until he finally catches what’s wrong with him (this man has intuition for days).

chris pontius

— he’s not the type to dwell on arguments or past wrongs of other people. chris does his best to get his mind off of things that bring him down, although from time to time you try to help him face his problems in a more conscious, intentional way. there’s a long road in front of you two, but you have the motivation to take it.

— when he’s angry or upset, he has a habit of laughing nervously. he hates it, thinking that it makes him look unserious, but it’s one of the parts of him that you simply adore.

— you don’t argue very often, but when it finally happens, both of you spill everything out, reminiscing about every other little thing that happened between this fight and the last. it’s not the healthiest way to settle things, but they’re one of the few moments when he actually talks about what makes him hurt.

— when he’s stressed, he starts to fidget with anything that he gets his hands on. car keys, necklaces, phone chargers, even random pieces of string that he finds in his pocket – it’s all free game when he can’t calm his racing thoughts. 

bam margera

— bam often feels guilty after starting a fight with you. he tries to make it up to you somehow, buying you a new piece of jewelry or a bottle of perfume that he thinks you might like. he says that it was just a gift without any particular occasion, but you just know that his guilt was eating him alive.

— he doesn’t do silent treatment – not that he didn’t try to do it in the past. now after a few hours of silence, his overthinking gets the best of him, and you get texts like are we ok? or hii:) dinner on me later? and sometimes it’s even the wanna come over and play tony hawk pro skater??

— sometimes when you argue, and he doesn’t know what to say, stumbling over his words, he’ll just look away, say man, you know what… with a defeated voice and sigh, thinking quickly about how not to fuck it up.

— this guy can get petty. and i mean mean girls level petty. when he’s angry at someone, he will definitely badmouth about them to you, sending you novel-length texts, detailing their every sin and fuckup, even if it’s something as small as looking at him funny while he was trying to do a new trick. no one has an ear for gossip like this man. 

ryan dunn

— this man is like an open book. you can read his expressions and gestures like a message in familiar language. you always notice when he’s mad or worried about something, even if he tries to deny it – his face says it all. 

— instead of anger, his initial response when fighting with you is sadness. he hates to argue with you, and ryan is self-aware enough to actually see his fault when you point it out to him, so all he can feel then is some depressing mixture of shame and sadness.

— he gesticulates a lot, especially when the chaos and anger gets him riled up. instead of throwing hands after hearing an insult, he just starts to gesticulate, underlining his every point, until he calms down a bit.

— he’s the kind of guy that replays his every argument in his head when he takes his evening shower, thinking about the best comeback he could spit out, daydreaming about going back in time and saying all the right things.

[johnnyfuckingpisces]

OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY GOD PH MY FREAKING GOD YOU GUYS AM I DREAMING

[high-on-the-dying-sun]

I have this weird (nonsense question) with the jackass member....

So basically they go to a award, and the only girl in the cast has an ideia (and then go my two options)

idea 1: she asks them to give hickeys in her neck as a "collar"

idea 2: she take them with collars (yes, the dog/cat ones)

well, be free to choose what u think that is better or do another thing

OK, so I picked the first one also I’m sorry this took so long. I didn’t realize until before I was actually posting this that I wrote the wrong thing…Anyways hopes you enjoy (also I'm sorry I'm if this is a bit crap I'm way too lazy to edit it but it looks fine to me!)

warnings: light mentions of smut and sex other than that we are all good hope y'all enjoy and as always my INBOX IS OPEN

Johnny Knoxville

He's down instantly, like in a heartbeat he's on you. 

He’ll definitely gives you hickeys but he's polite with them

He definitely goes for the collarbone rather then the neck

Johnny gently sucks light purple bruises on your collar bone, his hands on the back of your head brushing your hair. He pulled away from your neck for a moment to capture your lips with his own before going back to business.

Bam Margera

Hes smug about it

He definitely gives you more than necessary but hey afterall you were the one who asked for a collar

I also feel like if there's any photographers around or Frantz or gee he’ll definitely make them take pictures and/or videos. 

Bam practically had you in his lap as he waved over one of the behind the scene photographers over to the both of you. You couldn't exactly tell who it was due to you being partially buried in bams shoulder. “Get a look at this.” Bam said to the photographer as he ran his finger down the column of your neck sending a shiver down your spine.

Steve-O

Gonna be honest he's probably too busy doing stunts for the paparazzi

However when you ask him to give you hickeys be pro[ared to be pulled into a random corner or bathroom for a quickie

Like bam he's very smug about it but he brushes it off and acts all cool

Steve laughs against your neck as he squeezed your hips with both of his hands. He moves his kisses too behind your ear and then back to your neck; he looks down at your cleavage and then and then looks up at you with a smirk on his face. “Wanna get out of here?”

Ryan Dunn

He's gonna do it but like in between smoking like you know what i mean. 

Also definitely gonna pull your hair a bit to get a better angle of your neck. 

He definitely a bitter too 

Ryan nips his teeth against your skin as he licks and sucks deep purple bruises against your neck, he moves his head back to admire his work as he pops another cigarette into his mouth.

[viva-la-vernal]

random jackass headcannons

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Johnny

-takes you on expensive dates but goofs off the whole time

-lovesss to show you off to literally everyone

-always opens doors for you, hands you stuff, he basically won’t let you do anything for yourself lol

-always watching your back so the other guys don’t pull pranks on you

-is always telling you about the crazy shit they did that day

-calls you sweetheart

Chris

-shy at first

-goofs off way too much esp around the guys, sometimes gets annoying

-once his true self comes out he’s really sweet..even if he still can’t stop stumbling over his words when he tries to talk to you

-like you can visibly see the gears in his head not turning correctly when youre around

-everything he does he says “is this ok?” but the guys make fun of him so he adds in a “(is this ok?) my sexy lady 😏 “

-says yes ma’am

Bam

-flirts by play fighting with you (he always acts like you’ve severely injured him)

-always wants you to watch his new skate tricks

-is always laying on you, or has his hand on you, or is fiddling with your hair or clothes without realizing

-when the other guys make fun of him for kissing you he runs after them and aggressively kisses them

-buys you random clothes just to see you wear them

-calls you babe

Ryan

-nervous giggles around you a lot

-even if he was acting super sweet and ushy gushy 5mins ago if someone walks in he acts normal

-literally won’t let you out of his sight on set

-everyone finds you both off in a corner somewhere not participating and just watching everyone else and talking

-gets defensive if the other guys get too close

-calls you honey

Steve-o

-loses track of time wayyy too easily when y’all are together. youre always late

-makes you weird little craft gifts and brings them to you

-dosent wanna tell you about all the gross shit he just did that day so sometimes he acts distant

-loves to cuddle and turns into sleep-o around you a lot

-ALWAYS mentioning you to the other guys at any given chance

-calls you by your name a lot

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[b4mbiisntre4l]

bam jiggling his bumbily bum cheeks to doja cats say so pls pls pls with a cherry on top

(Any nsfw of him)

!!!NSFW!!!

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION

Bam nsfw headcannons 💪😼

i think we can all agree this man is the biggest bitch boy out there.

despite this, sex with bam is never a clean or easy process.

110% a sub, but will still scrap you as if he'd ever want to be on top.

brattiest creature you'd every come across

if you tied him up, he'd throw a fit, but an even bigger one if he actually got out of any kind of restraints.

would be the biggest pain in the ass he physically could just to get a rise out of you (and to get put in his place by you)

he would be the whiniest, most pathetic thing if you actually got mad at him at all.

apologising and tearing up while wanting to get his hands on any part of you he can (hes perfectly happy not being able to, he likes complaining.)

would probably be so far gone that he would just let you use him until you got off, overstimulating him in the process.

he absolutely lives for overstimulation. writhing and babbling and crying but not wanting it to stop.

he's the prettiest crier (as we all saw plenty of times) and would absolutely lose it if you told him so.

he was completely dazed, eyes tearing up and his nails almost ripping at your skin. he was panting and whining, mumbling pleas you couldn't really understand too well every so often. his adams apple bobbed in his throat with every beg and thick swallow, his stubble rippling with it.

wants to be babied immediately after.

whining and not settling properly until he could use you like a teddy bear, practically ontop of you.

acting like he wasn't having a fit about 15 minutes earlier.

first post... lowkey scary...

im very, very rusty with writing right now, but i hope you guys still enjoyed o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o

[dxckfarmdunn]

Dating Ryan Dunn HCs

fixes your car and changes your tires.

Buys CDs you like to put in his car so you can listen to them on drives.

Burns CDs for you.

Keeps a photo of you on his dashboard and in his wallet!

also has a lighter with a picture of you on it.

lights your cigarettes/blunts

buys you flowers every week AND cuts the stems. (April told him to.)

always is touching you if you’re by him. Hand, thigh, waist, anywhere.

Gives you his jacket if you’re cold. Even if he’s freezing.

If you guys live together the crew is always at your house.

You’ll wake up in the middle of the night and Raab will be drunk in your kitchen.

They all also have keys to your house for “emergencies”

He let’s you decorate the house however you want.

If he’s filming for the crew he always ends up panning the camera to you at some point. (Gets yelled at and teased by everyone for it.)

WILL walk into the bathroom while you’re pissing and just start talking to you.

You haven’t touched a door handle since you started dating him.

Loves when you wear his clothes!!

He’ll show up at your window at like 2am and make you let him in.

I feel like moms love him. Idk.

bam sleeps over IN YOUR BED. (Ryan’s in the middle obviously.)