#light crack

[kuroken-divorce-arc]

Kita Shinsuke — The Softest Smile

(high school era, fluff, light crack, established relationship) │ some loves are quiet until they aren’t.

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

inarizaki’s gym is loud in the way it always is.

balls slam against the floor, voices overlap, laughter cuts through drills that are only half-serious by the end of practice. sweat clings to the air, the team riding that familiar post-practice high where everyone is exhausted but buzzing.

kita shinsuke stands at the center of it all, clipboard in hand, posture straight as ever. calm. collected. dependable to a fault.

exactly as everyone knows him to be.

that’s why it’s so jarring when the doors to the gym slide open and the atmosphere shifts entirely.

“um— excuse me?”

the voice is bright. warm. smiling before anyone even looks.

heads turn.

and then the gym absolutely derails.

you stand just inside the doorway, still in your school uniform, a soft cardigan thrown over your shoulders. you’re holding a large box against your chest, the faint smell of chocolate already drifting through the room. your smile is wide, genuine, the kind that makes it feel like the lights are a little warmer just by existing.

“i’m looking for kita shinsuke?” you ask.

there’s a beat.

then chaos.

“WHO IS THAT??” suna stage-whispers.

“WAIT—” one of the first years squints. “is that—”

“holy shit,” atsumu breathes. “she’s real.”

osamu crosses his arms. “why’s she look like she belongs in a bakery commercial.”

aran, notably, just hums to himself.

kita looks up.

the moment his eyes land on you, everything changes.

his shoulders soften. the tight line of his mouth eases. and then — impossibly, unbelievably — he smiles.

not the polite curve he gives teachers.

not the restrained approval he gives teammates.

but something gentle. fond. unmistakably warm.

“…you made it,” he says, voice softer than anyone has ever heard it.

the gym goes dead silent.

you brighten immediately. “of course i did. i brought brownies.”

you lift the box slightly, as if that explains everything.

it does not.

“brownies,” atsumu repeats faintly.

kita sets the clipboard down carefully, like he doesn’t trust his hands to do anything abrupt. he walks over to you, movements unhurried, steady as always.

“did you take the train alone?” he asks.

“mhm. don’t worry, i was careful,” you say easily. “and i ate lunch. and yes, i slept.”

he exhales, relieved. “good.”

suna stares. “what the hell.”

kita gently guides you toward the benches, one hand resting at your back. it’s not possessive, just protective in a way that feels deeply intentional.

“everyone,” he says, turning back to the team. “this is y/n.”

that’s it.

no explanation.

no warning.

atsumu explodes first. “THAT’S IT?? that’s all you’re gonna say??”

“captain,” osamu adds dryly, “when were you plannin’ on mentionin’ you had a girlfriend.”

kita blinks. “it never came up.”

“YOU NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS RELEVANT??”

aran snorts, shaking his head. “i knew.”

everyone turns to him.

aran shrugs. “he leaves practice on time every friday. that’s not an accident.”

you set the box down on the bench, opening it to reveal neatly cut brownies, still warm. the smell alone makes osamu’s eyes light up.

“i baked these this morning,” you say cheerfully. “kita said you’d probably forget to eat if i didn’t send something.”

osamu takes one bite and freezes.

“…what the hell,” he mutters. “these are insane.”

atsumu grabs one immediately. “even i stopped bakin’ after the third disaster.”

you laugh, a soft, musical sound. “it’s just practice.”

kita watches you like you’re the only thing in the room.

“have you eaten?” he asks again, quieter.

“i had a snack on the way here,” you reassure him. “i’m fine.”

he nods, satisfied.

suna leans over to atsumu. “he’s like a different species.”

“i don’t like it,” atsumu whispers. “it’s unsettling.”

when someone finally calls for kita to go over match footage, he turns to you.

“i’ll just be a few minutes,” he says gently. “you can wait in my seat.”

you smile up at him. “take your time.”

he hesitates — just for a second — then nods and heads off, glancing back once before rejoining the team.

the moment he’s out of earshot, atsumu pounces.

“HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN A THING.”

you blink. “uh… since first year?”

the collective groan echoes off the gym walls.

“the whole time??” suna deadpans. “you’re tellin’ me we’ve been witnessin’ a love story and didn’t even know it.”

when kita returns, he finds the team still staring at him like he’s committed a crime.

“…did something happen,” he asks.

atsumu points accusingly. “YOU’RE SOFT.”

kita considers that. then looks at you.

“…i suppose,” he says calmly.

and that somehow makes it worse.

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

[marvelficsandimagines]

Marvel characters reacting to you saying “I love you”

Tony: “Yeah, I know, I love me too. …wait, you’re serious? Oh- yeah. Love you.” *smiles and nods awkwardly before shuffling over to go back to designing suits*

Thor: “Yes, I love you too! No one in the nine realms shares a love greater than ours. Would you like this tart of pop?”

Steve: “Thank you, I’m flattered. It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just…” *gazes into the distance solemnly as the American national anthem starts playing* “I’m not sure me being in a relationship is what’s best for America, you know?”

Natasha: *literally speechless. The first time she’s ever been speechless. Slowly pick’s up her phone* “Clint’s stuck in an air vent, I need to go!” *runs away as fast as possible. Later that night she shows up at your house with flowers and rambles on about childhood trauma and attachment issues, gives a million apologies and tells you she loves you too*

Wanda: “Dude, no way! That is awesome sauce! ….I’m so sorry, it’s- it’s a sitcom reference… I love you too!” *makes you watch that episode of parks and rec so you know what she’s talking about*

Bruce: “oh- really? I mean, I love you too…” *genuinely can’t come to terms with this, but is happy*

Vision: “Well, to be perfectly honest, I’ve known this for a while. Your vitals change when you’re around me, and you match all the physical and behavioural signs of what humans call a ‘crush.’ As a carbon based synthezoid, I am not sure if I am capable of love. However, I would like to give it a try if you so wish.”

Clint: “I love you, too.” *the only normal one*

[folklore-fantasy-and-sci-fi]

[whatreyoureadingthisfor]

Leona Kingscholar, Post-Overblot, Headcannons + Story

Let's not act like you didn't notice it.

The sudden lazyness, the confidence, the dry air.

When you're not with Leona, a shiver crawls up your back instead of any languid heat.

You've been finishing asignments, even future ones you asked Riddle for because your anxiety won't let you settle until you've gotten double the work you could have done in your time settled with the lion.

And you've gone searching for... Him?

It was a guess the first time, Riddle's connection having spawned... Her.

A disgrace how the dust settles here.

Your entire life will be ruined, fix this!

Get up and do what you're born to do.

Yeah.

If that isn't some version of the Queen of Hearts, realised by envisioning or otherwise, this magic system is TOTAL bullshit at this point without any direction and you will stop trying to work enti...

Ah.

Well, there's something.

Anyway, Leona does resemble the statue of the King of Beasts, at least. And the King of Beasts is a dude. You know, because, well, title. But you checked the statue too.

You just had to know if the stone masons carved those parts too. You needed to, it would've lived forever in your head if you hadn't. Imagine you went back home to your own world and just opening your eyes in the middle of the night thinking does the lion still have his pendulum and his bells?

He does. Just... For clarification.

The original reason you did it was for naught, by the way.

Now you lay awake at night knowing that you leant under an animal statue to see if the person or people who carved him let him keep his man bits when they eternalised him.

If the Queen could have banged her head somewhere, she probably would have, poor thing, stuck partway in your head.

It’s fun when you’re locked in here with me instead.

Riddle looked at you weird the next day.

"Why could I not fall asleep tonight?"

Don't giggle. Do nooooot giggle. "I don't know, did you change something with your evening routine?"

Anyway, Riddle is now eternally suspicious of you. He knows you did something. He just cannot prove it.

And you have stunned both your unwanted mind roommates into silence for the day.

A win, really. One of few.

You're either anxious or exhausted most the time.

Which just so happens to correspond to two people who overblotted in your presence.

You don't get calm. No, whatever Leona's brought into your system nullifies whatever energy you might've had, makes everything pointless. Even thinking is a hassle.

Most of the times you fought it, it's just that you lose half the time.

She's been heavier when she can't get to you.

Screaming at the edge of your consciousness to get up. You refuse to believe there is any hint of concern there.

Your vindication grows to double it's size, again. When both of them tug at you, demanding their dessert like children in the candy isle. She with an "Off with their Heads" (please, please let that be a reference to Riddle's SS) or he wanting to slowly ruin their standing and watch them crumble.

Or just set your pride on them.

Would you look at that. Found him.

Now you're back to constantly detaching. Because you can't stop them from seeping in, only have less them for a few hours.

On a brighter note, Jack—different from all of Savanaclaw—genuinely likes you for you more. His tail wags when he smells you, when you talk to him...

You're definitely not Leona, the wolf's like an effective, if shortlived, reset when he glows under his stoic expression, traitorous appendage moving fast enough to turn into a blur. Especially when you agree to go on a run with him. Peace, from Riddle's too.

Or you're too exhausted to hear them after.

Nice thing your speed and stamina're growing at a nice pace. In a few months, you might outrun Hornton! (Ha)

Sleepovers galore.

Usually just Leona when you're over at Savanaclaw, dozing on his bed or on a nicer patch of grass.

At Ramshackle, Jack joins you now. Immediate boost to your mood and motivation. HEALTHY motivation!

Also, he's warm. The three and you now do cuddlepiles. The warmth is heavenly.

Deuce is at the bottom, then you, then Ace going up. You advise the former to relieve himself before starting one in the evening, he will NOT be getting up through the night, you are draped right across his lower back.

Ace has his cheek on your back, his chest over Deuce's butt and a bundle of blankets under his torso. One time he slipped down far enough to have his forehead where his chest usually takes it's spot.

You woke up because the weight on you was less... and were greeted with the best sight to wake up to in a while. Ace snoozing on Deuce’s butt. You barely stopped yourself from bouncing up and down in giddy vindication while you fished for your phone.

Prime blackmail right there, but you won't have it as your lockscreen until you can copy and have a backup of the picture somewhere else.

You know that you are SO ready for that day, sometimes you start grinning at your essay, your currently-empty lockscreen or nothing at all and a shiver crawls up EVERY dorm's, even the current teacher's who watch you, spine. The only thing missing is a cackle as evil as your smile. NRC has rubbed off on you perhaps too strongly, the teachers often think.

The Beastking couldn't be happier with you right now, petty as he is.

Now that Jack is here... The first time, he wanted to sleep in another room. He didn't. He resolved to sleep upon the floor. He did not.

Now, he was resolved to not touch any of you, to sleep on a farther side.

When you invited him into the pile, his tail hit you in the face multiple times. You sneezed so suddenly Deuce near bucked you off with how he startled.

The beastman did not join you, sadly.

You now have a very, very sweet picture of Jack, half curled up against your side with his front facing away from you, his tail draped over your hip and drooling on the hands under his chin.

Thank Leona's Overblot you're silent enough to pull it off now.

Draping your arm over his waist and pulling him closer to your basically-resident-idiots and yourself, he finally turns around and embraces you all, even Ace included with Jack’s fingers in his hair, shifting a little every minute. Cue the second picture of today.

Then you decide to live in the moment, put the phone down and let them all lull you into sleep.

We're anything but alone.

...

...Our pride.

Goodnight, I suppose. Don't wake me.

I've got over 1000 words for the first time! Woo! If you round up, it’s 1200!

I tried to make a little more angst, aka, lore, but Leona just made this unreasonably fluffy. Like... Pure fluff for the story part.

And the stupid thought near the beginning. I'm so sorry to anyone who read that. It's just that he's the only animal in the lineup and he doesn't wear anything...

I'm not the first person who has thought of this. I know it.

I've got plans now, a few actually, for the AU.

[clus444]

Meph-fist these hoes!

Sylus x Reader

Kudos to this random gif i found.... anyways I wrote this because I wanted to laugh and it may be a little corny. Very short!

Warning: Talks of fisting, implied fisting, (consent is key yall!),slight crack?, Just be aware!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Birdman- I was thinking about yesterday.

Y/n- You, thinking? Let me go grab my bail money

Y/n-Jokes aside, it's not like you to not be direct

Birdman- I'm doing so for your sake....But now I'm not feeling nice.

Birdman- I wanna see how wide that pussy go.

Y/n- wat?

Birdman- I want to stick my hand up your pussy and make you cream.

Y/n- Read-

*Incoming Call*

I sigh as I answer the phone. "Sylus," I ask with hints of amusement in my tone. I let the water in the pot come to a boil before sprinkling some salt and olive oil in the water.

" Is it wrong to assume you're ignoring me?" His deep, husky voice seeps through the phone, down to my core. I can tell it's one of those late work nights, as I can hear the tiredness as well. I sigh heavily into the phone.

I clear my throat before speaking," Sometimes I wonder if your name truthfully sparks fear into people's hearts." A deep chuckle fills the phone speaker. I hear rustling in the background before a door closes loudly. "Are you-," as Ibegin to speak he cuts me off.

"I heard your heart speed up at the mention of my little experiment. I'm also willing to bet when I get home, you'll be naked and kneeling. Won't you princess," the call ends with a beep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is my placeholder until I make my Simon date fic. Im lowkey back yall.

Masterlist

[noctilucous-sunni]

the very tiring, horrible, not at all good day where you were not a track star [sagau]

Part 2. [masterlist]

warnings: swearing, i couldn’t create a cool title, cultish behaviours???, implied violence???, i don’t know what this is and i don’t want to find out, old crusty writing skills reborn!

info/tropes: imposter!au but with humor??, light crack, light comedy, cult!au, gn!reader

notes: like i said in a previous post, ive been on a writing hiatus for 2 years! Which is why this is very self-indulgent and me simply brushing up on my writing skills. It’s rather bad but i had fun writing it haha 🥴🤭 also its my first time writing for sagau! this was my originally intended first writing post bc it was the first thing i wrote for genshin but then i never finished it and then i posted hands as my first written post and here we are, back to the beginning :) i haven’t edited much of this, i just added on to it so my writing skills (and any characterization) in here are super crusty oof.

feat. character(s); diluc

It had been a painfully normal day, and maybe that was the source of all your current problems. You had just completed some exams and instead of studying yet again, you decided to take a short break. As you got home, dragging yourself towards your bedroom, you huffed, letting go of your bags and then collapsed onto the bed quite comfortably. After a few minutes of just lying there and rethinking your life choices, you finally decided to sit up and take out your computer. You hadn’t played Genshin in a while and you felt like rewarding yourself with finishing a quest or redecorating your teapot.

As usual, you quickly and painfully lost track of time. When you checked your phone, you saw the time and winced. 11:30 pm. Did no one call for you? That’s quite odd actually, you would usually be berated by your mom to go downstairs to socialise and eat. How did time fly by so fast? Wait, did you even eat yet? You couldn’t sneak out now, you’d be caught and chastised for staying up on a school night. Instead, you and your growling stomach simply had to deal with it. If your stomach could text emojis to you it would probably send you an angry face. You quickly closed your laptop and placed it on your desk. As you turn off the lights, you yawn before wrapping yourself in a cosy blanket burrito. Not too bad of a day, you supposed.

If only you had known what was going to happen. Your future self was probably laughing at you right now.

As sunlight playfully peeks from behind clouds, you shuffle in your sleep, wishing for five more minutes. When it gets warm, your brain finally starts to wake up. Sitting up, you frown as a calming breeze rustles your hair. Wait.

A calming breeze? You didn’t leave any windows open. HECK, you didn’t even HAVE any windows in your bedroom. Your half-asleep brain was barely processing anything, let alone allow you the energy to sit up and stretch your arms.

Why.. was there grass.. and trees.. and not your bedroom? And was it animated? The grass was nice though, you remarked, threading your fingers through the grass strands. You’re touching grass haha. Albeit, probably not real grass but… still.

You chuckle. Maybe I should go out and touch grass. You think, laughing to yourself because this was absolutely ridiculous. YOU KNEW that you probably would be terrible at surviving in those sagau fics you always read. Thank god this wasn’t that. Phew.

You shake your head, but the very animated grass in front of you hasn't changed. Haha. This is funny. Wake up brain, hello??? You thought, before your face falls. Light panic and worry set on your face. You rub your eyes once more but nothing changes and a worrying realisation sneaks into your thoughts.

No… No! That was crazy talk! You weren’t in a game! That would be insane, and concerning and…

Holy fuck, you were in a game. HOLY-

Genshin, to be exact but YOU KNEW exactly where you were. Windrise?? You pushed the thought away.

Shit. Shit shit shit! This was bad. Bad!! If this was anything like those sagau fics that you adored reading.. then… Well, you were screwed. Hopelessly, horribly, utterly, completely fucked. Only god could help you now.

Huh. Wait, did this mean that you were god now?? DID THAT MEAN THAT YOU COULD ONLY HELP YOURSELF? WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT BE?? To be totally honest, you had no idea if you were but it wouldn’t hurt to check. It actually probably would hurt but still sounds better than finding out through being stabbed by a guard or something, you pondered.

While deep in thought, something cold had nudged your shoulder. You instantly jumped, and let out a yell before realizing that was a very bad and stupid decision. Hoping nobody heard you, you look at where that weird cold thing had been, laughing softly. It was only a couple of cryo slimes. They were really quite cute.

Your hand hovered over one of them, reaching to pat them hesitantly, before letting down your guard. The fact that they weren’t attacking was good wasn’t it?

“Over there!”

Ah. And you thought that you could get away before anyone would notice you. Of course someone heard you. You should have known. The shouts had begun to increase in volume and well… you should probably start running right? The cryo slimes all get very defensive around you and push you in the opposite direction of the approaching guards. They basically do your own work for you when you are too frozen to act. You wish that this was a really weird out of body experience right now but it was starting to be evidently clear that this ‘dream’ or whatever it was, seemed too vivid and realistic that it had to be real. This is not the type of shit you could make up, but oh god you wish it was.

Still unmoving, you watch as guards and angry knights approach, yelling loudly.

“Hi? Heh.” You say and wave awkwardly. What were you doing?? MOVE!! RUN!! You internally yelled at your brain to make your legs function. Oh… you were so fucked. That's when everything starts to get a little too real and you are thrust into action mode. A spear heads your way, barely missing your side by a meter. Another lands right in front of you.

“HOLY SHIT! FUCK! FUCK, IM GOING, OH MY GOD-”

They had horrible aim, fortunately. Really, someone needed to improve the training for these guards and knights. THIS WAS NOT THE TIME TO REMARK ON THEIR SPEAR THROWING SKILLS!! You shook your head, jumping into action.

Your feet instantly start moving of their own accord and you continue to let out an excruciating list of curses that even a sailor would be surprised to hear. While heading past Springvale, your legs have already started failing you and as you near the Statue of The Seven near Dawn Winery, you collapse, your body screaming for a break.

Breaths come out in short pants and you lie on your back, looking at the clouds above before closing your eyes briefly. Maybe the guards were gone… and if they weren’t then… Well, you needed this break. The thought of “what if they weren’t” makes you crack one open. But it only leads you to noticing a casted shadow on the ground that wasn’t there before and you instantly get in a defensive position with your hands in front of your face.

“Stop! Don’t come closer! I.. will… punch you in the face!” You shout hesitantly towards whoever you presume is towering over you. When nothing happens, you look up confused, only to see Diluc, mirroring your own expression of confusion.

“Your grace?”

“Whoa, you are so pretty, what the fuck.” You said absentmindedly before covering your mouth with your hand. “Oh shit. I mean… uh..” You stumble over your words as you stare at the pyro vision holder in awe and then wince.

Diluc blushes lightly, and he coughs, looking away for a mere second before returning his gaze to you.

“Your Grace…” He starts to say before hearing you wince.

Frowning, he crouches down to your level to inspect you better. “Are you alright? Have you been injured?”

You flinch lightly as he gets closer and then you try to scoot backwards a bit, still suspicious of how much he is not trying to kill you. Unlike those guards that were chasing you earlier. How rude.

“I’m not going to harm you, your grace… I’m simply worried, I…”

“I’m fine.. but… didn’t you hear some news about an imposter??” You ask, cautiously waiting for his answer.

He sighs, shaking his head. He starts speaking but you end up not listening and instead simply stare at him, how he looks absolutely gorgeous and how his hair looks so pretty and soft and you almost reach your hand out to touch it. And this is when your head and memories became fuzzy.

It had become cold and wet all of a sudden?? You remember you had tried to stand up but then the ground met your face yet again, or very nearly did. And then it wasn’t really cold and wet?? You remember your legs and feet aching and then you simply became warmer?? Darkness clouded your vision soon after that. The timeline of events were very confusing to you and your poor brain was too exhausted and muddled from well, everything that had been occurring since you awoke.

Diluc looks at your unconscious form in his arms, after you previously attempted to stand. All of a sudden, he had to catch you haphazardly when you failed. He sighs, brushing some strands of your hair away from your sweaty and rain-soaked face. “Your grace..?” He calls worriedly, suddenly aware of how hot your forehead was, despite the rain cooling you down, it probably made you worse. The wine tycoon stands up, keeping you close in his arms as he hurries back to the Winery, not wanting to stay in the rain for too long, especially due to your current condition and health.

a/n: this was about 1.5k i think hehe. yes i am making a part two. hope you enjoyed whatever the hell this was hahaha.

[verfound]

FIC: Luka's First Father's Day (MLB; Lukanette; House Band)

Rating: Teen and Up

Characters/Pairings: Dingo King (OC), Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng; Luka Couffaine/Mariette Dupain-Cheng

Summary: When Marinette finds out she’s pregnant with their first child (and Dingo accidentally finds out before Luka), Dingo begs her to let him be the one to tell Luka the happy news.

Author’s Notes/Warnings: It still counts as a Father’s Day fic if it’s a day late, right?  I don’t usually observe Father’s Day anyway, but there was this mug, see, and then a plunny, and this was supposed to be quick, short, and stupid.  It still is, even if it's now also late.  😂

“Luka’s First Father’s Day”

In hindsight, it was probably Marinette’s fault.

No.  No, it was definitely Marinette’s fault.

But, at the time of the…accident, Marinette was also pregnant (even if she was still early pregnant), and pregnancy hormones – Baby Brain – can do some wicked things to a woman.  And she wouldn’t have been pregnant in the first place if not for Luka, so really, didn’t that actually make it Luka’s fault?

…yeah.

So.

Really.

Luka had no one to blame but himself.

[dc-said-bi-robin-rights]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The sound of wood slapping against wood pierces the air of the training room, the heavy thunk thunk thunk noise repeating itself every few seconds with the kind of precise timing that wouldn’t be amiss in a well-oiled grandfather clock.

“Take that!” Mia grins, swinging her wooden training staff down at her opponent’s head for the twelfth time, only to again find it blocked and deflected with almost condescending ease. She doesn’t let that deter her though—she pivots in place, readjusting mid swing and going for another strike. Thunk. Then again, thunk. And then a third time, thunk. Again and again she swings her staff, and yet not once does she even come close to landing the decisive hit she’s chasing.

“Focus,” Tim urges, interrupting her train of thought. He twirls his staff around his body for no before bringing it up to block her next strike. Thunk. Then again, thunk. “Don’t watch my arms… watch my eyes, my posture, my…”

Mia only barely held back a maddened growl, miraculously managing to keep the grin plastered on her face despite all her irritation. This was all… just too much. She was over-aware of the judging gazes of her unimpressed teammates on her back, silently evaluating whether she was even competent enough to do this, to be a Teen Titan. And they were right to, a voice in the back of Mia’s mind said. What would Ollie think, watching this? Would he think it was a mistake to let me be Speedy? Would he think it was a mistake to even…

A sudden voice thankfully interrupts that particular thought before it could reach its natural conclusion. “Mind if I get in on the action?”

Mia turns her head to see Ravager standing there with an unreadable expression on her face, a pair of bokken held against her shoulders. Mia instinctively opens her mouth to reply, but the words die in her throat; Ravager’s one-eyed gaze isn’t on her, but on Tim, who takes a second to think about it before shrugging. “Knock yourself out.”

Ravager nods, walking forward to stand in front of Mia. Wordlessly, she jerks her head at the door, and though Tim hesitates, he eventually concedes, exiting the room. The rest of the team follows after him and, before Mia can protest, lock the door behind them, purposefully leaving Mia alone in a locked room with the bloodthirsty daughter of Deathstroke for reasons she can’t fathom.

“Soooooo…” drawls Mia, who is not the least bit affected by this whole display, thank you very much. She crosses her hands behind her back and shifts back and forth nervously, wondering idly if the Titans could get away with disappearing her... wouldn’t people come looking if she went missing? Ollie certainly would… “Mind letting a girl know what all this about?”

Mia’s answer comes in the form of a bokken tossed at her face. Propelled only by instinct, she drops her staff and catches it just moments before Ravager’s own bokken comes swinging down at her. What follows next is as exhilirating as it is nerve-wrecking; Ravager’s sudden wild grin makes it clear she’s not even going to bother pretending she’s ‘teaching’ Mia anything, she just bears down on her, hard and fast, always intense, always there whenever she makes a mistake, and even though she senses Ravager is going as easy on her as Tim had—maybe easier—staving off a superior opponent was a lot more fun when they weren’t condescendingly talking your ear off while they came at you. Before long, Mia finds herself genuinely grinning back, breathless, as Ravager makes her attacks. They’re at it all morning, and by the time they stop, Mia’s mouth hurts from all the grinning. She turns, wanting to share this sudden good mood with her opponent, but the words die in her throat once she sees the other woman undoing her hand wraps on the other side of the room, her resting bitch face back in full force. Awkwardly, Mia turns back around and walks over to her locker, succeeding in dispossessing herself of all of her gear before Ravager speaks again. “You know it’s all in your head, right?”

“What do you mean?” Mia asks, turning her head to see Ravager not even looking up at her, her focus still on unwrapping her fists.

“That feeling you’re having right now, that people are judging you and wanting you to leave… it’s all in your head, Speedy.”

Mia puts a hand on her hip. “And how would you even know that?”

Ravager doesn’t reply, so Mia sighs and walks towards the door… which lets out a low hiss and slides open with her approach, revealing it wasn’t ever locked after all. Whoops.

A thought strikes her and she turns, frowning. “It’s Mia, by the way.”

“Hmm?”

“Mia. Dearden. My name. It’s Mia.”

Ravager looks up at that, a small smile curling her face. It’s very different from the demented grin she was wearing while they were fighting earlier, and it’s so cute it makes Mia’s cheeks turn slightly pink. “Rose. Wilson. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Mia did. Her cheeks go from pink to red anyway. “Nice to meet you, Rose.”

Rose’s smile stretches into a smirk, her one eye scanning her from top to bottom before flicking back up to her face. “Nice to meet you too, Mia.”

Something about the way Rose says her name has Mia’s blush deepening dramatically, but that only makes Rose smirk wider.

“You know, I could give you a tour if you want,” Rose says, a twinkle in her eye. “I could even show you my room.”

“Uh, I, um, I was actually here before you were,” Mia blurts out for some reason, instead of saying something like ‘Oh God please yes, I want you to put my head between your biceps and do that thing people do where they try to crack an egg between their biceps except the egg is my head and you’re cracking my head’, which would’ve been much more forward but also much more weird.

Rose raises an eyebrow, looking a bit put out. “Right.”

Cursing herself, Mia opens her mouth. I want you to tuck me in at night doesn’t come out, and neither does I want to watch tv with you while you’re using my face as a chair, so she settles for the safe, third option and goes. “We should do this again sometime.”

Rose shrugs, already turning away, her hand digging into her cleavage in search of her smokes. “If you want.”

For half a heartbeat, Mia wonders if it’d be weird to be jealous of a pack of cigarettes.

~~

Mia knows that if she stops to wonder why she finds it so impossible to flirt with Rose despite so badly wanting to she’ll turn herself into a pretzel and still get no closer to the answer, so she does the only reasonable thing and gets started on trying to win her over with smooth, good old-fashioned charm and humor.

It… doesn’t go great.

STRIKE ONE

Mia is laying in bed, helplessly sick, but she still perks up at Rose when the ex-mercenary goes to the trouble of bringing down some hot soup for her on her way to the gym.

“Who died and made you nice?” she’d quipped once she’d caught sight of Rose. In retrospect, saying something like that two days after Eddie’s funeral should’ve gotten her a lot worse than just the soup thrown at her.

STRIKE TWO

“And… no you don’t!” Mia called out, letting go of the bowstring. The arrow flies towards the assassin trying to rush at a victorious Rose from behind while she’s panting over the unconscious bodies of what she probably thinks are the last few dozen LOA operatives and hits him in the back of the head, knocking him out cold.

Rose turns around, seeming surprised, so Mia gives her a mock salute from where she’s hanging upside down from a tree branch. “Punching glove arrows. Non-lethal, still pretty annoying. You okay?”

“I’m fine.” She looks at the villain, panting. “About time they stopped coming… nice shot, by the way.”

“Thanks.” She loosens her legs and launches herself into the air, twisting in midair and landing on her feet with an acrobatic flourish, grinning her most charming smile. “Anything else I may help you with, miss Ravager?”

Rose points her sword above Mia’s head in what Mia can only guess is supposed to be some kind of salute. “Behind.”

Mia grins, coyly wrapping a finger around a stray hair in a way she thought made her look really stupid but which Roy assured her made her look cute. “What about it?”

“What, no—behind you, stupid!”

STRIKE THREE

Mia bites her lip as she forwards Rose the video of her doctor explaining how it was basically impossible for lesbian sex to spread H.I.V., especially if some kind of protection was used for things like fingering. She wouldn’t consider herself a super sexual person, despite what the incident with her mistaking what Dinah meant by ‘bringing protection’ on that one trip might imply, but she knows for a fact the same isn’t really true for Rose and she wants to reassure her that pursuing a romance with her won’t mean committing to abstinence or anything.

If she had said any of this, the video might have been better received. As it is, she watches the check turn into two checks, then go blue, starting at her screen for a good two minutes before a single ‘?’ is sent back. Mia quickly answers ‘sorry, wrong person’, deletes the video, and throws herself into bed, screaming into her pillow.

STRIKE FOUR

Mía thought she was being subtle when she yawned and stretched as soon as they were sat down in the diner, letting her arm fall across Rose’s shoulders. It was a move she’d seen in movies, and one that came with a glowing recommendation from Roy (“I’m telling you, it’s like she got pregnant with Lian right then and there,” he’d claimed. Mia had made a face. “Okay, first of all, gross—”). It should have worked.

It didn’t.

Rose’s one eye flickered to her mid-sentence, pinning her in place with the cold disgust in its icy depths. “What did I say about touching me?”

“I, um…” Mia said intelligently.

She pushed Mia’s arm off of her with a single finger like she was flicking a bug off her jacket before she went back to the conversation she’d been having like nothing had ever happened.

Dammit.

STRIKE FIVE

“Not bad,” Rose grins as she parries her training sword with her own and slashing horizontally across the air. “But can you keep up?”

“Sure I can, I wear big boy pants and everything,” Mia grins back, leaping over Rose’s strike and kicking her in the face as she flips back. Rose stumbles back, letting out a surprised grunt, and Mia is so caught up in the euphoria of finally getting a solid hit on Rose that she lunges forward and buries the still-sharp tip of her still-sharp wooden sword into Rose’s eyepatch, forgetting for a second that there was still kind of an eye under there right up until the moment Rose cries out and falls to her knees, her free hand flying up to clutch at her face. Mia goes still, taking a sharp breath—that was an unspeakably dirty shot, especially for a sparring match—and stepping forward, her hand outstretched, hesitating.

“Jeez, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” she trails off when Rose looks up at her through sweat-matted curtains of pearl-white hair, her one eye pulsing with rage. Mia swallowed and took a step back, but Rose rose after her, breathing angrily like some kind of insane werewolf. “I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t—”

Rose’s sword comes down on her, blindingly fast, so fast Mia only barely gets her own sword up to block, but the sheer strength behind Rose’s furious cleave forces it down anyway, like a raging river crashing through a beaver dam, and by the time Mia stumbles back and blocks her next strike Rose’s free hand has curled into a fist and planted a haymaker right on her cheek. Everything instantly goes black.

STRIKE SIX

Soft. Mia was lying on something soft, and the light coming in through her eyelashes hurt. She groans softly and digs her head into the Soft Thing, hearing an exasperated sigh from someone above her.

“Oh get up, you big baby,” someone complains. “I didn’t even hit you that hard.”

Mia doesn’t listen, not until the Soft Thing recedes, being replaced by two broad and hard things the awake part of her brain recognizes as muscular arms. Mia’s eyes flutter open, and the first thing she notices is that her head had been lying on Rose’s lap a moment earlier.

The second thing is that there are two round, pleasing-looking things hanging down right in front of her, covered only by the thin fabric of Rose’s bodysuit. Mia doesn’t realize what she’s doing until she’s a good ten seconds into squeezing Rose’s breasts, at which point the fog in her brain clears and she is left staring at an incredulous-looking Rose as her eyes slowly narrow.

“Wait, I didn’t—”

Her head bounces off the floor this time, and it hurts a lot more than when it hit the mats. Rose probably did that on purpose, Mia reflects as the cold grip of unconsciousness seizes her conscience once again.

STRIKE SEVEN

“I'm telling you, girls like Rose have to be seduced," Roy insists for the twelfth time, his voice droning on in her ear as she walks down the street, having been kicked out of Titans Tower to think about what she did after the incident in the training roll. "You're wasting your time if you make her think you don't care about this, about her... look, just make her laugh. Smile at her. Talk dirty, I don't know. Why did you call me of all people for this again?"

"Pfft, who else was I gonna call, Ollie? Connor?"

"Fair point," Roy concedes, sighing. "Look, just try to win her over, okay? That's my advice. Maybe… maybe get her flowers?”

“Flowers?”

“Sure,” Roy says, and if his voice breaks slightly, Mia chalks it up to the spotty signal. “Rose loves flowers. Didn’t she tell you that?”

“She, uh, didn’t,” Mia coughs, too embarrassed to admit Rose probably think she’s a clown/weirdo by now. “That… doesn’t really sound like her, to be honest.”

"Well, it is." It's a good thing the connection times out for a few seconds, otherwise Mia would've heard Roy let out a helpless snicker. "She loves flowers. Specially roses. Even better if they’re white ones.”

Mia bit her lip. “You’re messing with me.”

“Am not, honest. They remind her of home.”

“They… what?”

“Yeah.” Roy’s voice breaks again. The signal must really be bad… she should recharge her data whenever she gets the chance. “Don’t you know? White roses only grow in Cambodia.”

Mia scoffs. “Like I’d believe that.”

“I’m serious, look it up. The ones we have nowadays in the States are either imported seeds or just really light grays.”

“That’s…”

“I swear, Mia, on my daughter’s life. You don’t think I’d really lie to you on my daughter’s life, would you?”

“Well… no, but…”

“Look, just do what I tell you to do and you’ll have Rose swooning in no time, got it?”

The image of Rose swooning wasn’t an unappealing one... and she did have some free cash…

STRIKE EIGHT

“I’m sorry,” she says as soon as the peephole opens, holding up the flower the strangely exasperated street vendor had sold to her after she’d spent a good half hour demanding a ‘real’ white rose. “I really am. But look—I got this for you, Rose.”

There was a very long silence.

“It’s a white rose,” Mia continued, a little desperately. “Roy said…”

“Mia, I’m Cassie. You’ve got the wrong room.”

“… Oh.” Wait, she could still salvage this. “Well… I don’t suppose you like flowers?”

“Not really,” Cassie says, sounding amused. “Sorry.”

“…That’s fine.”

STRIKE EIGHT

There was a long pause.

“I hate flowers,” Rose says after a moment.

“…Oh.” Mia feels like the dumbest person alive. That rat bastard Roy…

There was another long pause where they just… stared at each other.

“Oh, fuck it,” Rose mutters, before seizing Mia by the back of the neck and pulling her in.

“Mmmhp!” Mia only has time to let out a single muffled cry of surprise before her base instincts take over and she closes her eyes, letting Rose push her against the doorframe and moaning contentedly.

Guess I did get it right eventually.

Now, where’s that fucking kid…