#mental struggle

[orion-archives]

sometimes i want to rot somewhere else

[pink-petal-horns]

Golden Fracture

Key: Smut ⚡️, Fluff ☀️, Angst ✨

Oneshots

Threads of Memory

Something Soft ☀️

[violetmuses]

Beneath My Bones - Poindexter 🖤

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe - Daredevil (Netflix)

Trope: Strangers AU - Open Ending 

Character: Benjamin “Dex” Poindexter (Bullseye) 

Pairing: Dex + Female Reader 

Summary: You sank within the depths of my mind… 

Author’s Note: Hi! Genuinely nervous to post this one. It’s my first Dex fic and I’m still learning details.  Feedback would be appreciated. Enjoy! - V. 💜 

==========

There’s no sense of time anymore. Mr. Charles offered an opportunity, but Dex won’t hustle for so many reasons. No bullshit. No chaos. No drama. Cornered in this small apartment, folks won’t bother him around the building. It’s so much better.

No one should hear the misery at night. No one should question his sanity when the city darkened after sunset. The backburner no longer exists and memories still haunt  his broken mind, even tainting how kids still play baseball in the park. 

Bradley. One of the most formative people. Dex can’t even watch games on television without flinching. Cracks from the bat. Players running over the diamond. Nothing onscreen makes the heart fond, only recalling the worst day of his life. 

The first kill, when the pole struck confirmation. Dex cracked one powerful toss over Bradley’s head and everything shattered. Folks shrieked while crimson spilled. Dex, still young back then, doesn’t remember when red and blue lights showed up. 

But when the police asked questions over the mayhem, Dex knew one fact as a child: 

It wasn’t an accident. Anger bared its ugly face and abandonment reached the breaking point. There’s only so much children could accept, especially when his own parents yelled without offering guidance. No life skills. No empathy, either. 

Bootstraps be damned, it’s cold out there. Sometimes it’s an absolute miracle to wake up and face himself at all, let alone face whatever plan Charles scheduled without fumbling. It’s good to work, but Dex still questioned his worth, gently sad. 

Showering for no reason beyond heat, Dex pulled himself together once more and grabbed his coat, trying to escape his mind again. Silence might derail so much progress here, even when most people welcomed peace over and over again. 

____________

There’s someone new in the diner this morning. Not his favorite place on earth, but Dex would rather stay here than marching in Quantico again. As raindrops meet the windows, it’s colder than expected. The weather might grit his teeth already. 

Cornering by his window seat, you sipped one of the drinks alone and rested silverware on your plate, finishing breakfast faster than others who crammed the local spot. This cityscape honked and barked outside, but you don’t even flinch. 

Paying in cash, you settled belongings and scooted out of the booth, clicking heels near the front door before prepping an umbrella to walk outside. You’ve worn business attire from this angle and Dex considers your job. Attorney? CEO? Maybe an entrepreneur? Now, who knows what your life entails beyond the restaurant? 

Though wishing to help you out, Dex won’t move from the table. Can’t. His own thoughts may scream toward respect and kindness, but in this world, he can’t offer assistance. Too many questions. Too many headlines. One wrong move could send him right back to prison because you deserved personal space. He’s a man after all. 

And yet, his rehabbed neck almost craned back to the window as fog blurred your silhouette down this cracked sidewalk. Another pedestrian. Just another person moving forward today. To Dex, no one thought of you or smiled, at least not yet. 

__________

It’s become another habit in his book. Too early in the morning, without Charles interrupting, Dex joined the diner once more. Maybe you’ll show up again. Maybe not. It’s still better than drowning with his thoughts or staying in that empty bed. 

When the front door chimes, Dex glances over to see you entering. Has the universe began to sing? You look more polished than last time, clearly dressed for something important later. Watching the server open another table, you sat down and took that menu, still perusing to an extent as different customers mingled. 

Once you’ve chosen breakfast, Dex quietly notices your plate and commits that delicious order to memory. The drink. The condiments. How staff cooked this meal itself. On and on. He would rather observe than speak, better off silent again. 

His conscience fared embarrassment now. You seem much more interesting than him. Gentle. Softer. Attributes that he’ll never gain without dishonesty and trepidation. Too many burned bridges. Redemption will never settle forgiveness. 

What if you recognized him today? What if someone moved higher up and called Charles at some point? Nerves kicked off again and Dex can’t even "appreciate" seeing you up close. Possibilities rattled even more with each passing moment here. 

Choosing light makeup this morning, you’ve wiped lipstick onto one last napkin and tipped the server, bidding farewell as quickly as your arrival. The front door jingled again and Dex still looked over, curious if the outdoor sidewalk will lead somewhere else for once. 

Fuck! Dex thought, now engulfed by the mystery of you. 

[sillywillyx]

hey is it fine if I talk about the things I struggle with as a person with mental health issues-? Idk if I should or not- I kinda feel like maybe I'll be understood a bit more if I did.

[your-loyal-kitsune]

I know I'm still really small, on Tumblr

So

Like

Everytime I see someone following me

It makes me so happy, like, I'm finally being seen as a goddess

More and more, I have people who follows me, who listen to me

Am I... Starting to be a proper goddess?

I know it might not seem goddess-like, to question my status, or am I a proper goddess.

But, I don't think it should matter

Here is another of your goddess teaching!

Questioning oneself is normal, everybody does that from time to time. Doubt and fear is something everybody lives through.

And, it can lead to lack of self confidence, so it can be bad, but, someone, even a goddess, who never doubts themselves and questions anything about themselves, will go down a bad route. They will become cocky, and not willing to be open to new ideas. It's healthy to doubt oneself every once in a while.

But, it has to be done in moderation. Being proud and confident and feeling validated is also healthy and important. Being proud of being recognized, of feeling morally right, of doing something you enjoy is priceless.

So find the right balance people. If even a goddess can doubt themselves, or feel validated, you can too!

I know it can be hard, especially since a few mental health struggles impacts really negatively on one's self esteem, myself, I struggle with feeling confident sometimes (often). But you have to try! Start small, it doesn't have to be a big step. Wear that outfit you enjoy, wear your favorite color colored shoelaces, do that hobby you want to try!

And in no time, you'll feel proud and confident, and maybe people will notice it, and you'll feel validated and seen!

No matter what, I see you all, and appreciate all that you do! If you follow my teaching, if you at least try to do good in this world, even if it's just by making one person happy, yourself, I see you, and I appreciate you.

Alright, that's all for today! Thanks for listening

[demonslaveinhell]

Being a child put in a situation so difficult and traumatising, with the only method to cope is travelling to another dimension through their mind sucks

yes. It is not the worst fate a kid can go through. Yes, there is much worse, but I wasn't capable of becoming someone cause I was busy time travelling or people pleasing.

It's my responsibility to fix myself, but I am furious at all the things that made me like this.

[daughterofthelotusflower]

I'm so tired of social media and this overload of stimuli. Like, Jesus, I need a break, and by break I mean I'm done with it. There's so much "cheap" quality content, so much noise, so many people telling me that I got the wrong thing or that this object will change my life or that I'm doing something wrong. Jesus! It's exhausting and it's depressing and so anxiety inducing. I've been struggling with it for years and I've been slowly pulling away and I'm at the point where I just need to close the door and I'm done, out, never coming back.

Got myself a dumb-ish phone and I can't wait to get it and see how it goes because I don't need this 💩 in my life.

.