#microagressions

[loumicrobes]

The people they thought would like T’Pol : Weird middle-aged men fantasizing about her "pretty butt".

The people that actually like T’Pol : Black, asian, native, queer, mentally ill and (especially) neurodivergent women that recognize themselves in the constant pressure, microagressions, being forced to smile and conform to be considered and treated like people.

[sleepynegress]

Amber Riley airing out some truths.

[quellquill]

I said earlier to a friend how "I wish trans people could just exist." And she replied, promptly, "they can exist." And while the words alone have no intent of hate, no intent to hurt, for a moment I felt like I was transparent. Looked through, even. "No," I replied. I wasn't sure how to respond. She heard the words I said, but she didn't see them.

"It's.. hard to explain, I-" I tried to gather my thoughts as she kept trying to guess (verbally) what I would say next. "I wish it was legal for trans people to exist." "Well it is here" yes, true, but again, my words here not absorbed, but deflected. I need to get something out, something she can see. "It's hard to exist. The violence- the suicide rates in trans kids.." I say, but everything feels like it's coming out in jumbles. I want to speak, but I'm just talking. I've jumped too quickly without elaborating.

"Mhm.." she nods. But I have a feeling it's still not of true understanding. But she thinks she does. "I have a lot of trans friends.." ah, this statement again. "I'm worried about them sometimes," and I want to listen, but now I feel like I want to take off my glasses, put a blindfold on. I don't want to look any longer when I hardly feel seen. I know she's not looking away on purpose, but she doesn't see my words.

She does not see me.

And a lot of people don't. They see a 2d picture struggling to stand, and think that by having them as friends they've done a gesture oh so grand, but no. You don't understand just by having a friend.

I remember who I'm talking to. My classmate, maybe a friend, but also, white, cis. And I'm her classmate, and I'm queer, trans, disabled, and a person of color.

And while those facts alone don't make someone transphobic or racist, and I'm not saying she is, it's hard to see from a perspective you've never been near before. So she doesn't see.

As I thought about it later I could finally put together some more phrases. "I wish to exist without fear", "-to exist without hate towards us", "to exist.." I wish to exist. But to exist at all is to be seen. To truly exist, is to be seen. To be seen is to live.

So, more than wanting to exist, I wish that trans people could live. I wish that I could live.

[ms-march]

Kendrick when he has Samuel L Jackson dressed as Uncle Sam call his medium “too ghetto” to be performed at the Super Bowl DURING said event’s performance criticizing America as a black man >>>>

[saintsir4n]

SO this is just a joke to you guys? Just a meme? It’s racist and disgusting as fuck. They’re comparing Cynthia to biological men. They’re making caricatures out of her for simply defending a friend. I’ve tried reporting this on TikTok doesn’t but apparently misognoir doesn’t result in a violation or ban.

[hobiesdump]

this is just not ok

[soapdispensersalesman]

This video is spot on and perfectly articulates how I felt watching Milchick's character and role as black person who's been in the corporate world before

[ktempestbradford]

Jumping off of what I said in this post about having to dismantle certain toxic ideas about myself, I realized that folks might not know how deeply not being a straight, white, cishet, able-bodied, Christianized male (aka the Dominant Paradigm) in the West messes you up mentally. It's a huge mental health problem that isn't always addressed.

When I started up my latest round of therapy I began to acquire labels for some of the ways I acted or reacted to situations. One day in session I was like: Was that a trauma response? It was, wasn't it? And my therapist confirmed. What confused me is that I didn't think I'd experienced trauma.

The idea I had of trauma was some Major Incident in which something Very Bad had happened to me or near me. Or it was about being in abusive situations, usually at home. The kind of ways trauma is depicted in the media.

Then I came across a Twitter thread in which the person said that everyone needs therapy, especially marginalized people, because the way Western society works, anyone who is not the Dominant Paradigm or doesn't hew closely to it is constantly being harmed by society.

Are you BIPOC? Racism is almost everywhere, and where it is, it's constant. It's also not always KKK-level in your face racism; it's more often wave after wave of microagressions on top of whatever challenging condition you're in due to historical racism. In other words: Chronic.

Are you neurodiverse? Good luck not being overstimulated by allegedly benign activities like going to the grocery store. Good luck not being criticized on a daily basis because you can't act "normal". Try holding down a job that expects you to sit at a desk for 8 hours yet you can't even sit in a quiet environment because the asshole CEO read that open office plans make employees more productive.

Are you anywhere under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella? Welcome to the constant barrage of invasive questions from strangers, invasive laws, invasive religiosity... Once again, an allegedly benign activity (going to the bathroom in public) can be a damn crucible if you don't look like the "right" kind of woman or man. Have fun navigating the medical system when you want affirming health care.

I could go on. Disabled people, poor or working class people, fat people, any people who have been historically marginalized and oppressed all experience this. It is trauma. It is harm. It does affect us. But it's Chronic and Systemic. That's the crux.

Because we have to keep on going even with all this. It's every day and it's not easy to escape. So we "deal with it." Some of us have good coping strategies and or supportive family (bio or found) and that really helps. It doesn't alleviate the overall problem. Thus, we all need therapy (so the OP of that Twitter thread concluded).

I don't know that we ALL need it. And I for sure know that some mental health practitioners and therapy frameworks are quite harmful to marginalized people. I'm very lucky in that I have a great therapist and the treatment I'm getting is informed by my identity and background, not ignorant of it. Not everyone has that or has access to it.

What I do know is that we all need Community. True community offers true support, which is necessary for healing.

We also all need to know that our mental health struggles and our trauma are real and valid, even if they don't look or manifest the way we've been conditioned to recognize them. Don't let anyone invalidate your experience or mental health struggles because you don't fit into a specific, wrongly-labeled box.

And don't let anyone tell you that this society isn't out here traumatizing you, because it is. Society doesn't need to be this way. But here in The (European Colonizer Created) West, that's what those with more power have chosen for the rest of us. And it sucks.

I have nothing but hugs and empathy for all the other people out there experiencing this. The only piece of advice I have is: Find community, hold on tight to each other, be that oasis of Okay that others need and they'll be that same oasis for you. <3