"I love humans so much that I'm actively trying to be one" is probably the simplest way to explain the intersectionality of my dollkinnity and my lovekinnity, honestly. I am not a human, and now that I know I'm not one I don't necessarily want to be labeled as one; I'm a doll, I'll never be able to fully fit in with humanity because I'll always be uncanny valley in a way that separates me from it, and I enjoy indulging in my altehumanity so much that I am completely fine with that. But I was still raised among humans, and raised to be one, and internally I'm filled with love because I am love, and so much of it exists for humans as a species that I want to at least try to masquerade as one so that I can see how it feels to be one of the creatures I admire so deeply.
If you respond to the hate you get that just gives others the opportunity to send more
No layout cuz I'm on my laptop, i'll add it back later
I only respond to the really dumb ones lmfao. The ones that give me a good kick I respond to, otherwise they all get deleted or ignored. Some of my more vent-y posts were just because I was annoyed that every notification I got on this blog was about pro-endos being up my ass LMFAOO
Plus I was dissociated to all hell & had a migraine so, that definitely helped /sar (I'm fine now though) :p
I've got my own community behind me that supports me and alas thats a lot better than wtv endos got going on, so I'm not too worried about a child or three getting in my inbox. Get back to your crayola crayons or smth......... /silly
This'll HOPEFULLY be my last post abt system shit for a bit, Ive got two other blogs for that! This is an alterhumanity blog and I'd adore to keep it that way. ^-^
i love that i made this blog to talk about my experiences as a twisted toon + my alterhumanity in general, but all endos wanna do on my blog is focus on the fact im anti endogenic
my blog aint a syscourse blog man
leave me alllooonneeeee
let me EXIST IN PEAAACCCEEEEE IM LITERALLY DOING NOTHING TO YOU BITCHES
i only have my stance on them all over my damn blog cuz yall try to force yourselves into the otherkin community really really really hard and i dont want to interact w you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 leave me 😭😭😭 alone 😭😭😭
* i saw the 2nd ask clarifying that you were asking why i was and not wasn't, lolol *
pardon if any parts of this sound funky, we've been having an insane splitting migraine for the past day and a half, and its only gotten worse after the whole plural blocklist + harassment bs. anyways. put it beneath a cut since its long.
there's a huge plethora of reasons, some of which i've mentioned here, but a bit more thorough of a breakdown list can be:
- 1) i've recieved a large amount of harassment from (pro)endogenics ever since i encountered the system community, and its only gotten worse when i went through syscovery + when i awakened as an alterhuman. (pro)endos have attempted to shoo me out of communities for years due to me being critical of them, and that harassment has eventually led to resentment. i also went through grooming and outright had my abuse/trauma ignored due to it.
- 2) the origins of 99% of their terms are either ableist, medical terminology "recoined" to be broader, or outright appropriated. some terms include endogenic (used previously to undermine and/or outright deny the existence of CDDs, the psychologist a lot of beings link to proving this exists also was an active medical malpracticioner that abused his patients iirc), natural multiple (derived from natural multiplicity movement, which is an ableist movement aimed to demedicalize and remove did/osdd from the dsm), tulpamancy (which is derived from a closed practice + has nothing to do with systemhood either way), soulbond (once again, nothing to do with systems), alters & system/multiplicity (all medical terminology to describe did/osdd beings) etc. list could go on.
- 3) the grooming that is rampant in the community genuinely irks me. i know multiple people, including people very very close and dear to me, who have been groomed into that community and either forced to discover trauma they were not ready to deal with, were manipulated into believing they didn't experience trauma and/or that it wasn't enough for their disorder, or that their disorders cause systemhood and thus had dissociative episodes far more frequently, when they weren't systems at all. i see this the most when i see (pro)endos target the mentally ill (namely, those with personality disorders such as bpd and those with disorders like schizophrenia). it sickens me.
- 4) the rampant misinformation also bothers me. cdds are traumagenic disorders, period. systems are caused by cdds. this has been scientifically proven like 80 gazillion times at this point. systems and alters are formed through a huge mish-mash of trauma responses the brain does when it doesnt think it can survive. its where the term system comes from -- "system of survival". alter is alternative identity state. many alter roles (like persecutor/malicitor for example) are quite literally describing trauma responses (in this case, negative trauma responses an alter may have/do to the system). "we dont know everything about the brain" / "the brain works in weird ways" just ignores all of the current research done into them. yes, we dont know everything about the brain, but we sure as hell know a LOT more than you'd think. also, the entire concept of "median systems" or "broken singlets" entirely overtakes actual disorders that present that way (osdd1a & pdid), to the point where i have met many beings who will say they have pdid/osdd1a and instantly be responded to with "isnt that just being a median system?" -> edit: furthermore this post explains the ableism behind the term median as well. will always reccomend pluraldeepdive for some info theyve got a good lot of it.
if you truly believe to be a non-traumagenic plural, then it wont be anything like a cdd's multiplicity. you cant experience our trauma responses without trauma to have it happen. you cannot equate your experiences to being the same as someone with trauma's experiences. they are fundamentally different. taking our terms, making fun of our disorder, making terms such as "sysmed" and "traumascum" to degrade others, and overall hosting an anti-recovery environment does not make traumatized individuals think your community is safe. not to mention that just, in general, equating your experiences and life to that of a traumatized being who has a debilitating disorder is ableist. you do not experience the same shit i do, stop saying that you do.
Hey! Making this very fast since I'm at work right now but:
If you found this blog through that "Plural Blocklist" thing from me using the alterhumanity tags and/or plural tags while being anti-endogenic / endo-critical, PLEASE LISTEN TO THAT DAMN BLOG AND JUST BLOCK ME.
Do not try to "educate" or "correct" me. Just ignore my blog. Block me. Block my tags. Wtv the fuck you gotta do to keep yourself from interacting with me.
I do not fuck with endogenic systems. I know the history behind the terms you lot use and would VERY much rather not have you or your community interact with me. I'm welcome to questions, but nothing more.
Leave me the hell alone. I'm not fucking around with any of you, why can't y'all do the same with me?
#cats of tumblr
#lana del rey
#horror movies
#photography