yall i was thinking about dorcas and the inherent angst of her being a part of the slytherin skittles cause YALL
they were her best friends and now they're destroying lives. she would've died for them once but now they're trying to kill her.
news spreads about regulus black's death and while the order rejoices in the loss of the death eater, dorcas is thinking about the literature nerd who stocked up on her favourite candy and laughed a bit too quietly at jokes cause he was never allowed to be loud, the boy who set aside books about feminism and revolution cause he knew she loved them, the usually quiet person who shocked everyone by hexing all the misogynistic quidditch players who made fun of her when she got captain and defended her even when he was fighting for himself.
mad eye moody loses an eye, but reveals that evan rosier is dead and dorcas loses a part of her heart because that's silent but snarky and sarcastic person who had the entire friend group losing their compsure and laughing like maniacs in seconds, the first person she came out to, the first person to hug her after she did it, the first person who said he might be a bit like her in that regard, the first person who made her feel safe and the person she could always talk to and trust.
the order whispers in hushed tones about barty crouch jr, the heartless criminal who tortured the longbottoms for hours on end and dorcas can't breathe cause that was once the boy who made the craziest jokes whenever he had the slightest inkling dorcas might be feeling sad and dyed his hair so slytherin kids who didn't wanted to be something other than perfect and uptight could feel comfortable coming to him for help even if he put on a show of being cruel and crazy, because he knew how it felt to be forced into perfection.
she visits pandora and she thinks that she at least has one person with her. but pandora's lost herself to this grief, smiles too tight and a maniac glint in her eye which makes it obvious she's experimenting something to get them all out of this, to somehow go back to who they were. but dorcas can only mourn the girl she lived with for 7 years, the girl who saw the joy and happiness in everything around her and made dorcas see it too, the girl who rolled her eyes with dorcas when the boys did something stupid and the girl who's laughter sounded like freedom and sunlight.
after marlene's death, dorcas doesn't really care for anyone or anything that was once part of her life. she kills and kills and kills till she can find death himself. but every time a death eater she's hurting has regulus' black hair or evan's electric blue eyes or barty's maniac grin, part of her wants to stop and beg them to become the people they once were.
but she keeps killing. because she's lost herself in this war too.
