My Moonwater Trope :) pt.2
The Marauders would be replaced during the full moons. Remus asks them to stop coming, but Sirus becomes desperate and convinces James and Peter that they should go anyway. James complies quickly and Peter sighs and follows after them, only to be stopped at the Shrieking Shack doorway.
They find Remus screaming, his transformation starting, but he is also surrounded by a big brown dog, a raven and a black fox and snake. Remus then sees the Marauders standing there as another wave of pain hits and screams at them to leave.
Sirius flinches, tears wading in his eyes, sorrowfully begging “Remus” but complies when James drags him out by the arm. James also feels his heart break for some reason as he saw the black fox move closer to Remus in comfort before the door shuts.
The Marauders then truly feel the weight of losing Remus from then; his name even fades on the map, leaving behind an afterimage of the ‘Moony’ that was once there.
Sirius strokes over it, while his depression swallows him. His magic couldn't make the name look like it used to.
Remus moves into the head boy room. But once in a while comes to sleep in their shared dorm. On the rare occasions he does, the marauders don't even think to ask why, but just enthusiastically welcome him back and Sirius remains anxiously civil until he leaves again.
Sirius who kept a polite distance would then crawl into Remus’ bed, that was still warm, for the rest of the day and smell his clothes from the day before with an excuse of doing the laundry. James and Peter pretend not to notice, because Remus rarely came back.
Eventually, Sirius becomes ‘normal’ again and starts dating avidly. James who no longer had to look after Sirius, thought he would feel relieved. Yet, James felt cold and hollow. He was barely there even on his dates with Lily. He realised that he wasn’t actually being selfless and looking after Sirius, but actually used Sirius as a distraction.
He realised it too late, because now with his head empty like it’s never been before, his mind was plagued with Regulus. He came to him like nightmares.
James and Sirius started extravagantly throwing parties; excessively drinking. Thus, James was able to make excuses that waking up in the middle of the night crying and throwing up was due to the fire whisky …and not panic attacks.
James refused to acknowledge the looming feeling of regret, that he knows he’s going to carry for the rest of his life.
So he starts praying his life would be little and that the war would grant his wish.
Sirius on the other hand would be a rake. He would jump from lovers to lovers until he commits to a decent enough woman, because James married Lily and he wanted to make Monty and Effie happy as well…but he would be miserable.
Because Remus would’ve been the only one to make Sirius brave enough to admit that he most definitely does not want to be with a woman. But without Remus there, Sirius accepted he would never be truly happy again.
Sirius knew himself enough to later accept that he would only ever be able to love one person in his lifetime and it happened to be someone he took for granted and lost.
After they win the war and find out Regulus was helping the Order and Remus was a spy and not the traitor. James and Sirius had to watch them love each other from a close distance and pretend everything was just fine.
Until Teddy Lupin was born… and the envy became too green for the Gryffindors.
