I am scared of getting worse.
I try to be as positive as possible, I decorate my mobility aids, I try to make jokes and find comfort in community
But I just sorta processed that I am terrified of getting worse
I am only 18, and I've heard from older people with hEDS that it does in fact get worse and I know I'll have to face the reality but I am scared
I love going out and walking around, going to malls, walking around my city, going to things like comicon but now I'm getting worse, I had hip pain today which I've rarely had before, had back pain all day, my legs are sore and tired
And that's not even mentioning my upper body, my finger subluxed last week for the first time in 7 years...just from doing "claw hands", my shoulder almost subluxed today when I was taking my bra off, that being the like, 4th time this year, I can't even properly stretch my arms above my head without risking a subluxation, I've had so many stomach issues too, tons of nausea that can come out of nowhere and random fluctuating appetite, switching between no appetite to frequently changing appetite (I barely ate for a week from lack of appetite, then I was constantly eating almost evey hour) and fatigue (I slept for almost 17 hours the other day)
And my parents haven't gotten me diagnosed or even really care (though they do agree that I probably have hEDS because my moms friend got diagnosed recently and my mom realized I have the same symptoms) so I can't get any mobility aids without having to use my own money (which I don't have yet because I haven't finished high-school and have no energy for school and a job)
I have all that already and I know it's still probably going to get worse
And even with all that, I still don't believe that I'm actually chronically ill, because "maybe it's just stress" or "maybe everyone feels like this"
