What’s the difference between NPD traits and full-on NPD?
From a clinical perspective, a person with narcissistic traits, rather than the full disorder, is someone who meets less than five diagnostic criteria but those symptoms are still pathological and cause impairment and suffering
Through therapy I’ve noticed something less obvious, something that goes beyond diagnostic criteria: my histrionic needs are always subconsciously more important to me. For example, I hate feeling ashamed and I hate degrading myself. However, because I sometimes need to do these things in order to get attention, which is my primary need above everything else, I still do them. So even though my narcissistic traits impair my self-esteem, relationships and overall functioning, my histrionic needs always take priority
This is strictly subjective. I experience many NPD symptoms. I started showing them in childhood and some of them worsened in early adulthood
The aspects that impair my life the most are:
• Ego shifts (grandiosity vs. vulnerability)
• A hierarchical view of myself and others (I’m either inferior or superior)
• A profound fear of shame
• A strong need for admiration
• Envy !! INTENSE, pervasive envy
• Lack of emotional empathy (it's mostly egocentric)
• A strange relationship with dependency and with my own emotions
I tend to avoid sadness and feel exposed when I express it. I don’t like using genuine sadness to get attention. I prefer exaggerating something that doesn’t actually hurt me that much
There may be more, but these are the patterns I’m most aware of and actively observing in therapy
