Hello! I would like to ask a question regarding ur dni, if thats alright? I dont mean to be rude or anything, but id be interested to hear why ur anti endo. I myself am not an endogenic system, but as far as im aware systems can form without trauma, just not DID specifically. I dont intend to argue in bad faith, id just like to hear ur thoughts :]
Sorry if this is typed weird I am currently writing this like really late at night while I'm having an episode and this is gonna be written like an essay so there's gonna be a lot of semicolons
This is gonna be a long one so buckle in.
And please, I beg of you, read the whole thing. I talk about the actual science behind it, and it's really cool to learn about.
I study psychology and just basic neurocognitive stuff in general and for a few years I've studied systemhood or in other words plurality. Now before I get into why I don't believe endogenic systemhood is possible based on my personal research of neurocognitive junk, I'll just express the basic distaste for the community itself.
The community itself is known to be a hate group; which is a factual statement to make. They have created a slur for systems (traumasc*m) which is just basic hate group behavior and they made the slur by alternating a transphobic slur. Infact most of their language around systemhood that endos have coined are usually alterations of transgender or identity related terms which actively waters down the condition to an identity rather than a disability many face. They often water down terms and push the idealogy that you can choose plurality making it seem less like a disability and more like voluntary identity; because of these actions many systems have felt ashamed to be raised into such a traumatic condition. The fact that they victim-blame many systems and purposely go out of their way to make systems feel like the problems they face are chosen really shows how much of a hate group they really are. Them being proven as a hate group is just one of the many reasons I don't support them and their actions.
Now the main reason I don't like them is because they are pushing a disproven and fake idealogy. Now in neurocognitive science it is shown that systemality is formed by trauma (making endogenic beliefs incorrect), you see the brain starts in a plural and single mindset which eventually grows into a fully singular mindset; but the brain doesn't grow into this mindset if faced with what it believes as trauma. Once trauma hits the mixed mindset between singular and plural the brain will activate a coping mechanism, any coping mechanism can happen but for systems what happens is the brain trys to dissociate it away; and when it fails to work it builds a wall. The brain will separate the mixed mindset into a completely plural mindset so it can have one part take in the trauma while the other part lives a more peaceful life. The whole way systemality is formed is by coping mechanisms caused by trauma, making endogenic systemality a physically impossible form of systemhood. Now I firmly believe most endogenic systems have trauma and just don't realize it was traumatic to their brain but that doesn't mean they should say they don't have trauma. I actually believe endos should maybe talk with a therapist or psychiatrist about what they think they're experiencing. (especially since many ex-endos often have mistaked their personality disorders for systemality)
In the simplest terms, I don't support endos because the way systemality (aka plurality) is formed makes it physically impossible to have no trauma and have parts/alters. I don't believe endos should be harassed, nor do I believe that they're all bad people (many of them have been groomed into endogenic idealogy); but I do know from neurocognitive science that endogenic systemality is not a possibility.
I might edit this in the morning because I'm like super tired rn and I'll probably notice all my typos and poor grammar in the morning
Having alters who aren't white in a system that's bodily white is so fucking weird because wdym I'm just white now??? Huh??? Wdym my headmates are forcefully whitewashing me because they're scared we might come across as racist?? Bitch WHAT??
A big part of me wants to share more about having did and what it’s been like on a more personal level, ditch the paranoia and just go for sharing, but it’s odd how much fear of the unknown, of judgement can paralyze.
It’s hard for me to talk about myself and my parts without some direct ask from someone I’m close to or a therapist, but I’m interested in sharing my story and what it’s been like.
Total shameless plug but send me an ask if you’ve got a question- I have no idea where to start 😅
Otherwise I’ll figure it out and maybe try sharing something small.
Not even an hour ago I cried over memories I remembered
I forgot the traumatic memories as quickly as I remembered them… because now I can’t recall exactly what it was. I’m going to assume I’m a memory holder who’s not even allowed to keep the memories unlocked now. Thanks brain.
DID posting herw again before i move all of my DID stuff to @virtualarchives but this disorder is so unserious why is charlie from smiling friends serving cunt rn
