welcome to more of my endless shameless self promotion. please read this it's good i like it and its not that long!!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
snippet: Finch didn’t say anything and suddenly Albert was being pushed against the brick wall and he felt the other boy’s lips on his. Finch was a good kisser but all Albert could think was; 'This would be better if Finch was Race…’
sir ma'am mister missus mx dude bro man do you not want to read this?
why not i ask you?
i'm jus' a poor newsies tryn to sell my paper (fics)
please read this i tried
P.S.
-> i'm pinetree603 on ao3 so come and stay a while
Ralbert bully each other on Instagram so relentlessly that some people think they actually hate each other despite the fact that they write 99% of those comments while draped over each other send tweet
NO CAUSE YOURE 100% RIGHT AND NOW I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT
it starts as a joke under one of jack’s posts cause albert does that dudebro thing and comments “damn sexy 🤤” or something cause he thinks he’s funny
and then race comments “fuck outta here 🙄” back
and thus. the war begins
it’s mostly just really fuckin stupid stuff like “nice shirt, moron” under a picture of race literally in albert’s shirt
but then one time it’s them completely sarcastically arguing but without knowing them it just looks Mean
and they’re typing the whole thing out while race is actively sat in albert’s lap n they’re both giggling to themselves at how fuckin funny they are
they literally get distracted by a conversation about the morality of tickling (albert pokes race in the stomach, race is a little bitch about it. we move.) and forget they’re supposed to be fighting in their instagram comments
and then ???? the next day at school ???? someone asks albert about his beef with racetrack higgins ???? like he didn’t literally just make out with him in his truck ???? five minutes ago ????
so obviously. their dramatic asses. pretend to get into a screaming match in the cafeteria at lunch
jack films the whole thing
and then at the end they break and start laughing and everyone’s really confused when they take a bow
they’re more confused when albert literally dips race and kisses him in front of everyone
but hey. that’s going to highschool with these fools
long story short ralbert as a duo is chaotic and stupid but they’re in love so at least they do it together
Another one of my favorite ideas I literally just thought up:
Lifeguard Albert and Swimmer Race
i’ve been trying to write this for MONTHS so. have a thing
this is one of my favorites !! they’re just. really really cute and sweet and it’s one of those aus that’s not really got a plot it’s just. me rambling about Them cause they’re cute
ok so
i feel like this happens somewhere smaller than manhattan. borderline small town au. still in NY, just. not the city
albert moves to [insert random medium-small town name here] from [insert definitely smaller southern town here] (cause y’all can pry southern al from my cold, dead hands) just after the end of his sophomore year. literally the first week of june
and. he decides that if he has to be stuck Here he might as well do something with his time other than sit inside playing video games cause he doesn’t know anybody
and he got his lifeguard certification last summer cause he was always at the pool anyway
so. summer lifeguarding job. ta da
race is a competitive swimmer, but also just sorta a fish. he grew up in the water, he loves the water, he spends his entire summer in the pool, even if he’s not actually practicing. honestly a majority of the time he’s just fuckin around with his friends
this is how he first sees albert
albert stands out on a good day. 6’2, athletic, bright red hair, kinda stoic but a laugh that fills a room and a voice that carries for miles when he finally says something. put him on a lifeguard tower and that increases about tenfold
race doesn’t know there’s a new lifeguard until they switch but OH BOY DOES HE NOTICE
he falls into the pool
like there’s no other way to put it he sees albert walk out and gets so distracted he trips and tips into the pool
jack laughs his ass off
race spends the first week fawning over the new lifeguard and vehemently refusing to actually speak to him
“i can’t talk to HIM, are you kidding??? he’s probably straight anyway”
he’s not straight
albert pretends he doesn’t hear race’s very loud friends start teasing him every time he does. literally anything
albert also absolutely does not stop wearing a shirt for a reaction from the cute blond boy
no. nope. doesn’t do that. not at all. yea he does
there’s even a couple of girls bold enough to ask albert out and he. very kindly tells them no and “oh my god racer he turned them down then winked at you can you get your shit together and GO TALK TO HIM”
the second week consists of one jack kelly dragging race over to start conversations with albert before his watch starts
and he even lets albert keep calling him toni without correcting him cause he heard jack say it and honestly he doesn’t mind it that much coming from albert
by the end of week two race has lost all fear and is shamelessly flirting with cute lifeguard boy without having to be dragged along by jack
actually, jack doesn’t even bother tagging along anymore cause he doesn’t particularly want to watch his little (he’s like 18 months younger but OKAY) brother flirt
and then. there’s an actual swim meet. cause it’s summer and that’s when shit like this happens
i’m ngl i only know a little bit about swim meets from my cousins but. half of this is for plot convenience so just go with it
albert isn’t working, but he’s always been around the pool and swimming environment so. he goes to the meet cause Why Not
and, surprise surprise, his favorite regular is competing
he doesn’t get a chance to talk to him until after he competes (and wins, cause i said so) but. hhhhh
“you never told me you competed! you were great, toni”
“thank you! honestly i kinda forgot—”
and then. cause race and albert are standing suspiciously close together and race’s face has gone all pink and these two can never go very long without getting embarrassed
race’s teammates notice them <3
“ohhhhhh, who’s this, higgins?”
“i thought you hated being called toni?”
“damn, okay! i see you racer!”
race is fuckin mortified LMAO
albert thinks it’s funny. and he’s laughing when race grumbles and grabs his arm and drags him away from his “terrible, awful, good for nothing” teammates.
which makes race sigh and fight a smile cause how in the hell is he supposed to be annoyed around a laugh like that ???
“you don’t like being called ‘toni’, huh? don’t seem to mind when i do it”
“oh, shut up”
“i’m just saying! y’never told me to stop, either, darlin’”
and race stops dead cause he called him a pet name AND it had that stupid lil accent on it that made his heart stop functioning properly
and then he decides to say fuck it and just commit cause GOD he really wants to kiss him
“probably ‘cause i didn’t want you to stop. s’cute when you say it”
and his hand was already on albert’s arm, and now they’re even closer together and race doesn’t know this but albert is losing his shit internally cause THERE IS A CUTE BOY CALLING THINGS HE DOES CUTE AND STANDING VERY CLOSE OH MY GO—
and then one of them figures out what they’re doing and leans in. inconclusive who tbh but it happens
race’s teammates and friends try to ruin it by catcalling them but it doesn’t work cause albert just laughs against his lips and dips him for the Dramatics
now instead of flirting in the pool house before albert has to go out they just make out or smth idk don’t ask questions
they go on cheesy movie dates and they get ice cream and they hang out and talk in albert’s pickup he got as a present from his dad after they moved and. yeah <3
they get caught staring at eachother like. an embarrassing amount of times ngl
also those girls come back fully intending to ask albert out again but uh. he walks out to do his watch with his arm around race’s shoulder and kisses him before he switches so. their hopes die pretty quickly LMAO
and then august comes and they’re going back to school and they’re Stupid so they’re like !!! oh no i’m never gonna see you !!!
and then on the first day of school albert’s stupid pickup pulls into the parking lot and race almost falls over where he’s standing next to jack
long story short, albert almost gets tackled and race confuses his classmates with the fact he’s trying his nonexistent football skills on the new kid
and then albert kisses race and everyone that isn’t race’s friends gets a helluva lot MORE confused
they don’t even fuckin notice they’re too busy giggling to each other and being horrible and awful and adorable
yeah no they’re That couple and i hate them (obviously)
by the end of august everyone’s gotten used to them cause. it’s adjust or die they’re not gonna get any less ridiculous
so. y’know that duo you know that is always described as A Unit
they are not 2 people, they are a Duo and their names are said like it’s one word when someone mentions them. they’re not “race and albert.” they’re “race-n-al.”
THATS my favorite brand of ralbert. entirely inseparable, but in a way that people also can’t conceive the idea they’re Actually Dating cause they spend so much time together.
they’re best friends, first and foremost, they just. also kiss n stuff. even if albert refuses to call race his best friend cause of the smile race does when al calls him his boyfriend
