warnings : none! pls lmk if i need to add any :)
wc : 0.5k
after wasting so much time on multiple dating apps, failing to match with a single normal man, you felt like giving up on dating. your friends all had boyfriends, all of them seeming like they had walked out of a picture perfect fantasy. caring for your friends, treating them with respect, has manners, everything else that makes a man perfect. you felt so left behind, not seeing yourself ever actually falling in love with anyone like that.
until you met park jisung. many guys that look to be around your age come and go at the small corner café you work at. but none of them ever strike your interest. the first day jisung walked into the shop, you swear you forgot how to breathe. the small but awkward interaction stayed in your head for weeks. and of course there were regulars that came in weekly, but after that day jisung started visiting more frequently. each conversation at the register lasting a little longer, sometimes even making the customers behind him groan out of impatience. time stopped when you guys were in each other's presence.
you knew he was cute the first day he walked in, messy hair barely covering his eyes, tall frame towering over nearly everyone else in the shop. but you never wanted to get your hopes up. everytime the thought of being anything more than friends with jisung came through your head, you remembered all the failed dates you wasted your last paycheck on. you wanted to badly to get to experience what your friends had, but your prior experiences made you doubt your chances.
visits at the café turned into weekly hangouts at either of your apartments. monthly movie nights turning into weekly occasions, sometimes even daily occurences. you knew you liked him, and you couldn't ignore the way he looked at you like you were the only thing in the world. but you couldn't risk your chances, not at all.
you started telling your friends about him, how your hangouts would go, what things you like about him, and how he makes you feel. but all your friends gave you in return was negative feedback, "he doesn't sound like a real man," "you could find better," etc. you felt like they didn't understand you, but jisung always would. you didn't mind that he was shy and awkward, or that he liked the same things as you even if they were "girly". you liked him because he was just jisung, he was himself. he listened when you talked, even if he didn't fully understand. he didn't judge you for being weird, he'd be weird with you.
all the time you wasted on dating apps, you were looking for the "perfect boyfriend", when all you needed was jisung.
word count : 0.6k
note : i was inspired by "we'll never have sex" by leith ross to write this bc for some reason jeno reminds me so much of this song. everytime i listen to it or hear it i just think of jeno and think that it reflects how jeno would be as a partner! enjoy me being delusional and i hope you enjoy my first official writing :3 (including lyrics from the song bc i'm TIREDDD and i wrote a lot for my finals this week...)
no matter how long you and jeno have been together, it always surprises you how much he appreciates you for being you. he appreciates your body, but not in the way that he only uses it to get off. he appreciates your face, but not just for the label of having a "hot girlfriend". he appreciates your personality, for making him feel so loved and comforted every time he breaths. when he kisses you it's with tenderness, not greed. when he runs his hands along your body it's in comfort, not lust.
"if i said you can never touch me, you'd come over and say i look lovely" your quiet voice vibrates against jeno's chest as the two of you are laying against each other, curled up in his bed.
"hmm?" he lifts his head up to look down at you, a perplexed expression painted on his face.
immediate embarrassment flows through you, regretting what you just blurted out. you realized how awkward of a thing that was to say and hoped that jeno genuinely didn't hear what you said. "oh... nothing, lay back down nono."
"no tell me what you said, i wanna know." he added a hint of sass to the end of his sentence, making it harder to just move on from your stupid remark.
"i was just talking to myself, it was stupid anyway."
jeno tilted his head and raised his eyebrow, knowing in his head he was thinking be serious. "tell me what you said or no cuddles for the rest of the night, and i take my hoodie back."
you sighed in defeat, knowing you couldn't lose all that just over a few words, "if i said you can never touch me, you'd come over and say i look lovely." once the words left your mouth you covered your face in embarrassment, you didn't even know what you meant by that but you just felt the urge to blurt it out to jeno.
"i don't know what that means but i'm assuming it's good." his gave you his signature "(.◜◡◝)" expression before he laid his head back down.
"i don't know why i said that honestly, it's kind of embarrassing,"
"no, not at all?"
"i was just thinking of everything you do for me, the way you treat me like i'm the most fragile thing ever. not just physically but in every way. everything you do for me is so careful and you never want me for only my body or only want me for sex, and just, like, if i told you you could never touch me again, you'd still say i look beautiful or lovely and be fine with never touching me again. like your love for me isn't only physical." your voice was quiet but jeno heard every word, listening intently. he would be lying if he said he didn't tear up a little at your words, he tries his best to show you love that's more than just physical and make you feel loved inside and out. and you were right, if you told him he could never touch you again he would be fine with that and would still always call you beautiful and lovely.
as if the two of you weren't close enough, he engulfed you in a suffocating hug, landing kisses on the top of your head. your muffled giggles vibrating against his chest. another heartwarming moment that makes you fall in love with your boyfriend all over again.
(for short context, yn + yunjin have a course together so they were talking to each other for a project. karina and jaemin saw from both ends which is how they got here, i feel like clarification is needed because even if nobody else notices I WILL and it will bother me...)
note ʚɞ wow okay my pea sized brain actually didn't mess anything up we're onto a good start!! i expected this to be so much hard but it's actually not.. that difficult?? hopefully this is easy to understand so far trust we will get ynjaem official meeting soon... stay tuned 😛
note ʚɞ this is a bit of an abrupt ending... IM SORRY 💔💔 i just feel like i don't have any ideas to go further with the story and i do think this is a good ending! i never intended to make this drag on so long and i also never expected this amount of support, so i want to say thank you to everyone to was interested in this smau!! please keep an eye out for future smaus, and possibly more bonus content for jaemyn ;)
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you stir awake as you can hear noises coming from the other room. at first you don't recognize your surroundings and nearly start to freak out, but you quickly realize you're in jaemin's room. remembering the cat beds across the room from the other time that you'd been over at his dorm. your nerves are at ease knowing you're in jaemin's bed, not yangyang's, or any other strange man's.
your thoughts are cut off by jaemin walking into the room, wearing only a tank top and pajama pants. as much as you try not to get distracted by his looks, your drunken state isn't helping the matter very much.
"you can stay in my bed, i'll be sleeping in the living room." he slurs out, you can tell he's still very drunk.
his words shouldn't make you that emotional, at the end of the day it's the bare minimum. but up to this point you hadn't received much of that other than from jungwoo. you don't even notice the tears that start to form in your eyes until you attempt to speak.
"thank you." the words barely comes out, a mix of your throat still affected by the alcohol and the tears that started to fall.
"of course, if you need anything just come and get me, okay?"
you nod your head as jaemin leaves the room, for once you feel like you can actually trust someone other than your friends. and you're glad it's jaemin.
note ʚɞ i finally feel like i actually got somewhere with this smau 15 CHAPTERS LATER AND JAEMYN IS FINALLY MAKING MOVES YALL (also i'm sorry yeojin will not go away she's evil and persistent)
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once you and jaemin were done with your pancakes, he cleaned up the dishes while you moved over to the couch. before you could even sit down, one of his cats started roaming towards you and jumping up in your lap once you finally sat down.
you felt awkward sitting in the silence of his dorm, aside from the noises of the plates from his cleaning up. the atmosphere wasn't uncomfortable; you were actually a lot more comfortable than usual. but something about being in an only recently familiar place with someone you hadn't spent that much time with made your stomach turn. especially after the recent events with yeojin and yangyang. for a moment, you thought to yourself and questioned why you were letting yourself get this comfortable around someone like this right after you nearly died from naively trusting two idiots.
your thoughts are interrupted when jaemin finally takes a seat on the couch. you feel the need to say something to prevent the awkard silence from continuing.
"thank you again for the pancakes," you say as you shoot him a small smile.
"of course, i felt like i needed to do something nice especially after being hungover." by the look on his face you can tell he's relieved that the pancakes were a hit, you assumed he put a lot of effort into not messing the whole thing up.
"oh, and also, thank you for looking after me last night. i'm sure you can tell it's kind of hard for me to easily trust people." you cringed at the reminder of your situation with yangyang.
"no problem, i'm glad you can trust me, makes me feel special!" the boy giggles at his own comment, and you roll your eyes in responce. for a moment, you get distracted again by his looks, but you quickly come back to reality when you notice the expression on his face changes. you can tell he's curious about something but hesitant to actually say anything.
"you're gonna ask me what happened, aren't you?" at this point, you had expected people to either know every detail about your "lore" or that people would be overly curious and just scared to say anything knowing it's a sensitive topic. you weren't offended by the boy's curiosity, if that's what he was thinking of. again, you expect it by now for people to be curious, and you can tell he probably hasn't heard the scoop yet.
"i didn't wanna be the one to say anything," he lets out an awkard laugh, you can tell he regrets even thought about it. "you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"no, it's okay, i've lived it and told it enough times that it doesn't really bother me to talk about it," and you mean it. one thing that helped you to cope with everything in the first place was to talk about it with your friends. it helped you process everything better and get your feelings out so that it wasn't all weighing on you at once. and as much as it affected you, you didn't really have much of a choice to get used to talking about it.
"where do i even start," you pretend to think hard as you tap you finger on your chin. "it wasn't even two months into the first semester of my freshman year when some random guy asked me out, and when i rejected him he told me i'd 'pay for it'. the next day i couldn't even step foot outside my dorm without people i've never spoken to staring at me like i had a target on my forehead. turns out that guy told his friends that i 'gave good head', which then his friends told their friends and it spread faster than any professer can grade work," it's been awhile since you've explained the entire situation to someone, and you're a lot more emotional than you thought you'd be.
"quickly, it turned into random guys coming up to me and trying to get my number, hitting on me, asking me out, and eventually it escalated so bad to the point that i was scared to even leave my dorm. i couldn't go to parties anymore without the fear that some guy would come up to me and try to make a move. there were a few guys who went as far as to borderline stalk me, following me to my dorm and harassing me. and to top it all off there were a few times where they, well, basically groped me."
the boy stared at you with his mouth agape; this also wasn't an unusual response to you sharing this information. you found it kind of funny, he looked cute, and you knew he meant well.
"i seriously have no idea what to say, that's horrible." his expression didn't change much, maybe a little more shocked than he just was.
"it is what it is. i'm just lucky most of the rumors died down by the next year."
you can see him still trying to process everything you just told him, not knowing exactly how to respond or what to think. you're just glad that you got it all off your chest to someone new, you don't think anyone but sakura understands how difficult it is for you to open up to new people.
note ʚɞ holy yap... idk where this came from but i just wanted to write again so hopefully this isn't buns and is actually enjoyable 💔 also yes i used grammarly don't come for me i was anxious about having any mistakes when i posted so i had to use my last resort
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