No, you don’t need an IQ of 140 and if you go around telling them that they’ll make you prove it eventually.
We love to converse with people we don’t find draining, so if you can hold our interest for more than a few minutes we’ve already noticed you. That’s pretty rare for us.
It doesn’t really matter specifically what you’re interested in, so long as you’re passionate and can teach us a lot about it. Or maybe a little about a lot of things. But be as well researched as possible otherwise they won’t trust you as a source of information.
If you have different opinions from us, that could actually be a plus, so long as you like to flirt through debating. But we like to take our time discovering our beliefs! We may switch sides and if you’re too stagnant and close-minded, we’ll be bored soon.
For example, I actually have no close friends with the same interests as me but I love them because they’re able to introduce me to new information. Even if you’re knowledgable about music or videogames, an INTP could find this particularly interesting.
The weirder you are, the better. We love people who are accepting of our ridiculous theories/jokes and are willing to play games with us.
People who think independently? Oo la la! There are too many people who plagiarize others, even verbally, and it’s terribly easy to spot.
But pretentious people? No. We’re not going to bother talking to you if we can avoid it. That’s too obnoxious.
Depending on the INTP, we may find dark humor and sarcasm to be our love language. Being teasing but not truly mean? Major bonus.
Admitting when you’re wrong is too scarce. And don’t be afraid to tell us if we messed up.
Trust me, you won’t win the interest of an INTP by being all brawn and no brains.
If you make small talk constantly then you’re likely not on our radar. However, it’s all in the delivery, if you can make boring stories into enchanting tales then you’re perfect for us.
ADVENTURE. Even if it’s as simple as playing in the race car shopping carts at the grocery store or roleplaying as gallant knights in the woods, we’re fun nerds.
We’re attracted to people who make us try things we wouldn’t normally do on our own. This is why we have a tendency to be around at least a few crazy extraverts who jump off buildings or go cliff diving.
TALENT IS SO SEXY. For me, I’m always infatuated with people who are entertainers, especially people who I expect to be future comedians or artists. Sometimes I really like people who are interested in engineering. Whatever your talent, the better you are at it, the more interest you’ll raise.
WIT. If you reply to the oddities of our texts/conversations with banter, prepare to catch a swooning INTP.
Don’t mistake drama for excitement. If you’re picking fights with all of your friends, we’ll expect you to do the same with us.
If you’re a little mysterious, just enough to intrigue us but not so much that you’re lying, being insincere otherwise, or being overtly private you may catch our eye. It’s a lot of fun to solve the puzzle of people in good time but no one wants to be bogged down by having to guess about a person’s desires nor their honesty.
Positive vibes! Do you bring your friends cookies? Do you smile and talk to strangers on the subway? It’s easy to fall in love with someone just because they’re a genuinely nice person.
The more easily entertained you are, the better. Often we want to retreat into solitude and if you’re clinging to us to keep you from boredom, we’ll get snappy sometimes. Plus, we don’t always want to be the only one generating ideas for things to do.
Sure, maybe you weren’t expecting that when the category above it was excitement.
We’re logical homebodies. We want people who we can imagine sharing our home with, even if it’s in a very nontraditional way.
When all hell breaks loose, all we want is a shoulder to lay our heads on and a hand to hold. Someone we can fight against the world with. An equal partner.
While it’s important not to take one another for granted, the safety in knowing that someone will always be around to have your back is one of the most important factors for long-term relationships.
Stable people are the people who don’t extract too much from us emotionally, who don’t force us to do things we’re morally opposed to, who understand our needs even if we can’t find the words.
Not to mention, confidence! Being stable in oneself is also about having healthy self-esteem and being able to be decisive about what you want.
Flaky and moody people are just too inconsistent for us to predict unless they’re constantly moody and flaky. If you’re going to be late for an event, tell us. If you need some space, let us know.
Also, stable people are easy to respect and a relationship can’t be healthy without mutual respect.
We’re constantly trying to improve ourselves and we don’t have a lot of spare energy to spend improving you.
When in doubt, just ask. Maybe they don’t like constant verbal affirmations and do want to be cuddled. Maybe they hate cuddling and need to be told “I love you” several times a day. Either way is okay if it works for you too.
Don’t let your personality be consumed by us. We don’t want to date ourselves, hopefully (unless you’ve found a narcissist), and valuing yourself makes it all the more easy to like you.
INTPs can be very, very particular and seemingly random. At the end of the day, maybe the people we love don’t check off all the boxes on a list.
People who remind us to breathe every once in a while and support us will always be winners.