the quietness of an arranged marriage with sasuke uchiha ꒰ ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ the exact moment of your life when everything changed
cw: hurt/comfort, they're still teens, loneliness, signs of depression, non-sexual intimacy, happy ending, wc: 5.2k
You knew Sasuke was a quiet boy, since you were kids you remember him being too focused on his training for being so young. You could understand him having strict parents who expected too much of a twelve year old boy, but while everyone was playing, skipping or even just sitting on the ground reading, he was working on his forms and techniques.
Now, five years later, your parents just delivered the news to you. Not only you’re marrying that same quiet boy, but it’s going to be immediate and you two are moving together to an estate all by yourselves.
Why? Was the first thing that came to your head, but it was obvious: two potential clans uniting in marriage could help to evade any future problems. Thankfully, none of your parents were expecting an heir from you and him, you were kids still and the thought itself made your toes curl in fear.
The days after that talk with your parents stretched out heavily. You wandered through your family home, touching things you had known your whole life, wondering how long it would be before everything felt distant.
Sasuke. The name sat in your chest, you had watched him from afar for years, that dark haired boy who moved like the world owed him nothing but silence. He never joined the games or the easy laughter. He just trained, eyes sharp, body always pushing harder than anyone else. It made you feel small sometimes, your own childish joys were pointless next to whatever fire burned in him.
Now you were supposed to marry him. Live with him. Share a house and a life with someone whose voice you could count on one hand. The thought twisted something deep inside you, a mix of fear and fluttering curiosity that would not leave you alone. What did he think when he heard the news? Did his face stay blank the way it always did? Did his hands clench at his sides or did he simply nod, accepting his fate?
The wedding day arrived too fast. Your parents dressed you in a simple white kimono that clung to your skin in all the wrong ways, the fabric stiff and unfamiliar. They pinned flowers in your hair while you stood there quiet, heart hammering so loud you were sure everyone could hear it. No grand event, a small shrine and the necessary words to bind two clans together. You did not see Sasuke until the moment you stepped into the hall.
You walked toward him slowly, eyes fixed on the floor at first because looking up felt too real. When you finally lifted your gaze, there he was. Sasuke stood straight and still in his dark formal clothes, hair falling across his forehead the same way it always had. His expression gave nothing away. Those dark eyes watching you approach from a distance. It made your stomach drop. Was he angry? Relieved? Did he even see you as a person or just another duty?
The priest spoke the words and you repeated them with a voice that sounded too small even to your own ears. Sasuke said his part when it was time, each syllable precise but empty of warmth. You searched his face the whole time, desperate for something, anything, but he remained closed off. That silence wrapped around you like a second skin. It pressed on your chest, made your hands tremble as you exchanged the small cups of sake.
After the ceremony came the quiet ride to the estate. The carriage moved through the trees and you sat across from him, knees touching in the small space. You wanted to say something to break the heavy air between you. Maybe ask if he was okay with this. Maybe tell him you were scared too. But the words stuck in your throat.
Sasuke stared out the window most of the time, jaw set, one hand resting on his knee. Every so often his eyes would shift toward you, before going back to the passing scenery. It left you guessing, heart racing with questions that had no answers. Did he resent you for this arrangement? Did a tiny part of him feel the same nervous pull you did?
The estate was beautiful, large rooms with polished floors and sliding doors that let in soft light. Servants showed you both around quickly and then left you alone, the heavy front gate closing behind them with a final sound that echoed in your bones. Now it was just the two of you. You stood in the main room, fingers twisting in the sleeves of your kimono, watching as Sasuke walked to the window and looked out at the garden without a word.
The quiet stretched. You cleared your throat softly. “This... this is a lot, isn’t it?”
Your voice came out barely above a whisper. He did not turn around right away. When he did, his eyes met yours for a second that felt endless. He gave a small nod. “You can keep this room, I’ll stay next door.”
“Oh,” you said, even though you knew it was the best decision. There was no reason for you to stay in the same room, you weren’t going to do anything, but somehow it felt like a rejection.
Sasuke didn’t say anything back, he crossed the room and locked himself in the room in front of yours, not even taking his luggage with him.
That first night was hard. You barely sleep, your body tensing with the need to cry but nothing felt worthy enough for crying. You were seventeen, married to a boy who felt like a stranger, and the weight of his silence pressed on you more than any loud argument ever could. In the dark you reached out and touched the empty side of the futon, imagining what it might feel like if he ever let you in.
The first month dragged on, mornings started the same way every day. You would wake up in the large futon, the space beside you cold and untouched and stare at the ceiling for hours. Sasuke was gone before the sun rose most times, slipping out for training, missions or whatever kept him away from the estate. You rarely heard him leave. He moved quietly and efficiently, leaving no trace except the faint sound of the door sliding shut.
When you did catch glimpses of him, it hurt more than his absence. You would step into the kitchen for water and find him there, standing by the counter with a cup in hand. Your heart would jump, a stupid little spark of hope lighting up inside your chest. Maybe today he would look at you. But his dark eyes would flick over you for half a second, then slide away. He would finish whatever he was doing and walk past you, close enough that you could smell the faint scent of sweat and metal from his training.
That silence carved into you deeper each time. You started staying in your room more and more, the thought of walking through the empty halls made your stomach twist. What was the point? The estate was beautiful, with its wide gardens and soft light filtering through the paper screens, but it all felt like a cage now. You stopped going outside. The flowers blooming in the courtyard might as well have been gray. Everything felt tedious, heavy, even lifting your arms to brush your hair took too much effort. Meals sat cold on the tray the servants left by your door. You picked at them without tasting anything, then pushed the food away.
Loneliness settled over you, suffocating and familiar all at once. At night you lay there listening to the quiet house, wondering where Sasuke was. In his room, sharpening blades. Or maybe he was staring out at the moon, thinking about you. You replayed every small moment from your childhood in your head, trying to find some sign that he had noticed you back then. But there was nothing. He had always been focused on his own world, training until his hands bled.
You felt yourself fading. The girl who used to sneak glances at him during training, who laughed with her friends and dreamed about silly things, she was slipping away. You barely recognized the face in the mirror anymore. Your eyes looked dull, your hair hung limp because brushing it felt pointless. You stopped changing out of your sleep clothes some days. Why bother? No one was there to see you. Sasuke did not care. Your parents were far away, busy with their alliances and their plans. It was just you and the crushing weight of his indifference.
One afternoon you forced yourself to the main room, hoping maybe he would be there. You found him instead by the window again, back turned to you as he cleaned his kunai. Your throat tightened. You wanted to scream at him, to ask why he never spoke, why he acted like you did not exist.
The words burned on your tongue but stayed trapped there. What if he confirmed it? What if he said out loud that this marriage meant nothing to him? The fear of that answer kept you frozen. So you stood there in the doorway, watching the way his shoulders moved, the sharp line of his jaw and felt a familiar ache bloom in your chest. A mix of longing and resentment with warmth that refused to die no matter how much his silence hurt.
You retreated back to your room without a word. Curled up on the futon, you pressed your face into the pillow and let the tears come quietly. They soaked the fabric but made no sound, the last thing you wanted was him to hear you. Not that he would come check anyway. The days blurred together after that. You lost track of time, sleeping during the day and lying awake at night, replaying the wedding ceremony in your mind.
You felt lost, everything you used to enjoy felt distant now. Reading made your eyes hurt and thinking about the future filled you with dread. You were seventeen, married to a boy who was a stranger, living in a beautiful prison where the loudest thing was the silence between you. And through it all, Sasuke remained unknowable. You never knew what he was thinking behind those dark eyes.
The night air felt cooler than usual, you had slipped out to the porch hours ago, unable to stay curled up in your room any longer. The walls had started closing in again, pressing down with all the emptiness of the past month. So you sat there on the wooden edge, knees drawn up to your chest, the thin fabric of your sleep robe clinging to your skin. Tears came without warning, spilling over as the weight of everything crashed down.
You did not hear him approach, Sasuke moved too quietly for that. But suddenly there was a presence behind you, a shift in the air that made the hairs on your neck stand up. You kept your head down, refusing to look. Let him see. Let him walk away like always.
“What are you doing out here?”
You did not answer, instead you wiped at your cheeks roughly, staring out at the dark garden where fireflies flickered. Ignoring him felt like the only power you had left in this house. He had ignored you for weeks, now it was your turn, even if it made your chest ache worse.
Sasuke lingered there, you could feel his gaze on your back. “It’s late,” he said finally. Always so damn quiet. “You should go inside.”
That was it? After all the days of nothing, that was what he chose to say? Something inside you twisted, you turned your head just enough to glance at him over your shoulder. He stood a few feet away, arms crossed loosely, his expression gave away nothing.
You looked away again, hugging your knees tighter. “Why do you care?” Your voice came out softer than you meant.
He did not respond right away. You heard him shift his weight, the faint rustle of his clothes. When he spoke again, it was even lower. “You’re my wife.”
“It does not feel like it.” You still wouldn’t face him fully
You could sense him processing your words, but who knew what was really going on behind those dark eyes? Did he feel guilty? Annoyed that you were forcing this conversation? Or did it mean nothing to him, just another inconvenience in his focused life?
“I did not ask for this either,” he said after a long pause. His tone stayed flat, but there was something underneath it. Or maybe you were imagining it because you needed to believe he felt something.
You swallowed hard, fresh tears burning your eyes. “Why do you act like I do not exist? I sit in that room every day wondering if you hate me for this arrangement, or if you just... do not care enough to even look at me.” Your voice cracked on the last part, but you kept it quiet. “I feel like I am disappearing, Sasuke.”
He took another step closer now. You could see his hand at his side, fingers flexing once before stilling. “I train. I have duties. That has not changed.”
“You think I do not know that?” You finally turned to face him, eyes red and swollen, cheeks wet. “You always trained as a kid, I admired it back then. But now I cry out here alone because the quiet in this house is too loud, and you finally show up just to ask what I am doing? Like it is some inconvenience.”
Sasuke’s jaw tightened just a fraction, his eyes met yours for a longer moment than usual, holding secrets you could not read. “What do you want me to say?” he asked, voice rough. “That this is easy? That I know how to do this? I do not.”
The admission hung between you, it was not much, but it was more than he had given in weeks. Yet it was not enough. Not when the loneliness had already carved so deep. You wanted to reach out, to touch his arm or demand he look at you properly, but the fear of him pulling away kept your hands still.
“I want you to see me,” you whispered, turning back toward the garden. "That’s all.”
But then his voice came, low and raw in a way you had never heard before. It cracked just a little at the edges. “I see you. And I see someone who deserves more than this. I see someone whose life I’ve ruined.”
The words caught you unexpectedly, your breath caught and for a moment the whole world narrowed to the need and sudden desperation of his voice. He thought he had ruined you. Your mind spun with it all, the ache in his tone mixing with the loneliness that had been eating at you for weeks. You wanted to turn around, to look at his face and try to understand what that meant to him, but you could not. Your eyes burned fresh with tears and your throat closed up tight. Speechless. Completely speechless. The weight of what he admitted pressed down so hard that you could not even form a reply.
Instead you pushed yourself up on shaky legs, not glancing back at him. You walked away from the porch, feet moving almost on their own through the sliding doors and down the hall to your room. The floorboards creaked softly under you but you barely noticed. All you could hear was his voice repeating in your head. He saw you, he thought he had ruined your life.
What did that even mean coming from someone like Sasuke, who never showed his thoughts? You closed the door behind you and leaned against it, sliding down until you were sitting on the floor with your face in your hands.
You stayed in your room for the next week and he stayed away too. It was like both of you were ghosts haunting the same house but never crossing paths. Sleep came in broken pieces, filled with dreams of his dark eyes watching you from a distance. During the day you sat by your window sometimes, staring at the garden without really seeing it.
The loneliness had not gone away. He made everything more confusing. He saw you as someone ruined by this marriage, by him. Did that mean he cared enough to feel bad? You never knew with Sasuke. His silence had always done that to you, leaving you to fill in the blanks with your own tangled emotions.
Then one night, close to midnight, a soft knock sounded on your door. You sat up in the futon, heart suddenly racing. No one knocked at this hour. You stayed quiet at first, unsure, but the knock came again, gentle but there. Slowly you got up and padded over, sliding the door open just a crack.
Sasuke was there. On his knees.
He knelt right in the doorway, head slightly bowed, dark hair falling forward to hide most of his expression. His shoulders were tense, hands resting on his thighs, the sight of him like that, the proud and quiet Sasuke on his knees in front of your room, made something inside your chest crack wide open.
He did not look up right away. Your mind raced with questions. He was so close, yet still so unknowable.
“I…” He stayed on his knees, not moving to stand. You watched the subtle rise and fall of his shoulders, wondering what thoughts were hidden behind those lowered eyes. After all the days of nothing, this gesture felt huge and terrifying at the same time.
Now here he was, kneeling as if waiting for judgment. And you still did not know what he was truly thinking, only that his silence had shaped every feeling you carried for him since you were kids. The quiet boy who trained alone had grown into this man who could break your heart with a few raw words and a single gesture in the dark.
For a long moment nothing happened. The silence stretched between you again, the same heavy quiet that had defined every day of this marriage. Then his shoulders started to tremble.
Just a slight shake that you almost missed in the dim light. But then his breathing hitched and when he finally lifted his head to look at you, his dark eyes were glassy with tears. He was crying. Right there on his knees in your doorway, tears slipping down his cheeks one after another. His jaw clenched hard like he was fighting it, but it only made the tears fall faster. His hands fisted on his thighs, knuckles white and a broken sound escaped his throat.
“I... I’m sorry,” he whispered. The words came out messy, stumbling over each other after he had held them in for too long. “Forgive me. Please. I ruined everything for you. I’ve seen it every day in how you hide away, in the way you look at me like I’m already gone.”
He kept going, the tears streaming freely now, cutting tracks down his face. His usual mask had shattered completely. Sasuke looked like a complete mess, shoulders hunched forward, dark hair sticking to his wet cheeks. He did not wipe the tears away.
“I never wanted this for you. You were always there. I saw you when we were younger sometimes, reading under the trees while I trained. I noticed. But I did not know how to... I still do not know how. This marriage, this house, it trapped you with someone who only knows how to push people away.”
Your heart pounded so hard it echoed in your ears. All those nights you had cried alone, wondering if he even thought about you. All the times he had walked past without a word. And now here he was, falling apart in front of you. His silence had always left you guessing, and even in this moment part of you wondered if this was guilt talking. But the tears on his face looked honest. Painfully so.
“I want to take care of you,” he continued,voice rough with emotion. “If you’ll let me. I don’t deserve it. I know I don’t. But every day I have stayed away because I thought it would be better for you. I was wrong, I see that now. You deserve more than an empty house and a husband who hides. Let me try. Please.”
He bowed his head again after that, forehead nearly touching the floor in front of your feet. His back shook with silent sobs that he tried to hold back, but they slipped through anyway. The sight of it made fresh tears burn in your own eyes. You wanted to reach out and touch his hair, to pull him up and tell him it was okay. But your legs felt weak and your throat was too tight. Part of you still ached from all the days he had ignored you, from feeling like you were disappearing in this beautiful prison. Another part felt a rush of warmth at his words, at the way he had finally cracked open even a little. You had spent so long wondering what was in his head. Now some of it was spilling out and it left you speechless all over again.
“Come inside,” you whispered finally.
You stepped back and slid the door open wider. Sasuke lifted his head slowly, eyes red and glistening, searching your face like he was afraid you might change your mind. He rose to his feet on unsteady legs and followed you into the room. The door closed softly behind him with a sound that sealed the two of you in this small space filled with all the loneliness and confusion of the past month.
Both of you were still dressed in your day clothes. Yours were rumpled from hiding away, his carried the faint scent of the night air and training. You moved first, hesitant but sure, reaching for the ties of his outer robe. Your fingers trembled a little as you loosened them, helping him shrug it off his shoulders. He did not stop you. Sasuke just stood there, letting you peel away the layers with careful hands. It was intimate in a way that made your cheeks warm, it felt like tending to something wounded. You didn’t say anything about his bruises or scars.
He returned the favor after a moment, his calloused fingers working gently at the sash of your robe. His touch was light, scared to break you further. You helped each other in silence, folding the clothes neatly and setting them aside. Underneath you both wore simple sleeping garments, nothing fancy, the soft fabric that made the moment feel even more real. Skin brushed skin accidentally, a shoulder here, a wrist there, sending small shivers through you each time. You kept your eyes mostly down, focusing on the task, but every so often you caught glimpses of his face. The tear tracks on his cheeks, the way his jaw stayed tight like he was still holding back. You wondered what was going through his mind right then.
Once you were both changed, you turned to him fully. Sasuke looked smaller somehow in the light of the room, his eyes still wet and raw. You picked up a clean cloth from the side table, stepping close enough to feel the warmth radiating from him. Gently, so gently, you pressed it to his face and dried his tears. His breath hitched when the cloth touched his cheek, but he stayed still, letting you wipe away the evidence of his breakdown. Up close like this, you could see every detail: the faint redness around his eyes, how his lashes were clumped together, the exhaustion etched into his features. It made your own eyes sting again.
“There,” you whispered, voice soft as you set the cloth aside. Your hand lingered near his face for a second before dropping. “Lay down with me.”
You took his hand, surprised at how warm his fingers felt against yours, and guided him toward the futon. He followed without resistance, the two of you settling down side by side on the bedding.
You turned on your side to face him, pulling the blanket over both of you. Sasuke lay on his back at first, staring up at the ceiling, but then he shifted too, mirroring you. His dark eyes met yours, still guarded but softer than before. You could not read him completely. You never could.
“Tell me," you said quietly, not demanding but needing it. “Talk to me, Sasuke. About anything. I need to hear you.”
Your hand rested on the space between you, close enough that he could take it if he wanted. The intimacy of changing together still hummed under your skin, not passionate but real and tender.
He stayed quiet for a long moment, this time it felt like he was gathering words instead of hiding behind them. His fingers brushed yours lightly, almost by accident, and you held your breath waiting to see what he would say next.
“I stayed away because it was easier,” he said, each word took effort. “I thought if I kept my distance you could have the house to yourself. Pretend I was not here ruining your days. I never wanted a wife. Not like this. Not when we are both still so young.”
You swallowed hard, the loneliness from the past month rising up again but softer now. “It didn’t feel like distance. It felt like I didn’t exist to you.”
Sasuke’s brow furrowed slightly. He shifted a little closer under the blanket, his knee brushing yours accidentally.
“I noticed you back then,” he admitted quietly. “You looked free in a way I never was. This marriage took that from you. I hate it. I hate that our clans decided this for us and I couldn’t stop it.”
You could tell it was hard for him to say them out loud.
“I never blamed you for the arrangement,” you whispered back. “But the silence broke me, Sasuke. I kept wondering if you even saw me as a person and not just another duty.”
He reached out then and his fingers wrapped around yours properly. “I saw you. Every day. I just didn’t know how to show it without making things worse. I’m not good at this. But I want to try for you. I meant what I said. I want to take care of you. If you’ll let me start over, even just a little.”
You squeezed his hand, feeling some of the heavy weight in your chest loosen, you knew his quiet nature would not vanish overnight. But hearing him say it, seeing the way his eyes stayed on yours instead of sliding away, it felt like the first real breath you had taken in weeks.
“I want that too,” you told him. “I don’t need you to be loud or different. Be here sometimes. Eat with me. Talk to me even if it’s only a few words. Let me see the boy who trained so hard instead of the ghost who lives in this house.”
Sasuke nodded slowly, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “I can do that. Tomorrow I will not leave before you wake. We can walk in the garden if you want. Or just sit. Whatever you need.”
You moved a little closer without thinking, resting your forehead against his shoulder. He tensed for half a second, but then he relaxed and let his free arm come around you loosely. It was awkward and careful, two kids still figuring out how to be married, but it was something.
“I’ll forgive you,” you whispered against his shirt. “But you have to forgive yourself too. We are both stuck in this,we don’t have to be alone in it.”
He didn’t answer with words right away, he just held you a bit tighter. He whispered something so low that even you weren’t able to catch it.
Sleep came easier than it had in weeks, wrapped in the warmth of his presence. Sasuke stayed right there beside you, his hand still linked with yours. It was not perfect. Nothing with Sasuke ever would be simple. But it was a start, and that little bit of healing felt like everything after so many days of fading away. In the morning you would see what happened next, but for now you let yourself believe that maybe the quiet boy you had watched for years could learn to share his silence with you.
His fingers traced lazy circles on your back through the thin fabric of your sleep clothes, a small gesture that still surprised you sometimes. Sasuke had always been so quiet, so contained, but these past few months he had been trying. Little by little. He ate breakfast with you now, sitting across the table even when words didn’t come easily. He walked with you in the garden some evenings, pointing out a bird or a blooming flower with just a few short sentences that meant more because they came from him.
“What did you do today?” he asked softly, his arm heavy around your waist and his chin resting on the top of your head.
“Not much, went to buy some groceries for dinner. It’s been a while since I haven't cooked,” you purred, your breath tickling his neck.
Sasuke hummed quietly. “I’ll help you. Later.”
You smiled softly and shifted closer, your leg sliding over his as you tangled together even more. Your hand came up to rest on his chest, feeling the strong beat of his heart under your palm.
“Did you train hard?” You drew little patterns in his chest waiting for his answer, he just held you tightly, wanted to melt into you.
“Very,” he muttered, closing his eyes and inhaling your sweet scent.
You pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his neck, feeling the way his body relaxed even more against yours. These moments had become your favorite, when the weight of the day melted away and it was just the two of you sharing the same space without any walls left between you.
Sasuke lowered himself so he could be at eye level with you, you always get lost in his dark and big eyes, with that shine they have when they look at you.
“You’re beautiful,” Sasuke whispered, one of his hands coming to your cheek, he was trying hard not to blush. “What did I do to deserve you?”
You smiled, leaning into his touch. “I don’t want someone else, Sasuke. I love how you look at me,” you told him quietly. “Like I am something worth protecting.”
“You are,” he answered simply, kissing the tip of your nose before finding your lips.
His quiet nature still wrapped around everything, but it no longer pushed you away. In the warmth of the bed, with his body curled around yours and his kisses growing sweeter with every passing minute, you felt truly married to him. Not just on paper, but in the tender ways that mattered most.
a/n: it's been a while since i don't sit myself to write a long-ish fic. i'm very very happy about how this turned out
