Happy Early Birthday, Yang Xiao Long
Vernal: It would seem it's that time of year again, ladies and gentlemen.
Qrow: OH NO! YANG! IT'S JULY 28TH!
Yang: AW, SHIT! ALREADY?!
Jaune: What's July 28th?
Yang: Second Non-Descript Winter Holiday.
Jaune: The hell is Second Non-Descript Winter Holiday?
Yang: You know the story of Non-Descript Winter Holiday, right? Red Man going all over the world, giving out toys to little kids?
Jaune: Yeah?
Yang: Well, they never tell you about Red Man's sister, Red Lady. That's right. Long ago, Red Man banished his sister, Red Lady, from the Cold North. Legend says she set up operations on the Lukewarm West, where she started small with only her, her husband, and I don't know, like a Maiden or something. But soon, she amassed an army, and every year, on July 28th, she exacts her revenge with Second Non-Descript Winter Holiday.
Jaune: First Non-Descript Winter Holiday.
Yang: What?
Jaune: First Non-Descript Winter Holiday, not Second. Because Non-Descript Winter Holiday is in December, and quote-unquote "Second Non-Descript Winter Holiday" is in July. You should call it "First Non-Descript Winter Holiday," because it comes first.
Yang: ... (Door smashes in, Angelic choir)
Raven: THAT'S RIGHT, ASSHOLES! SECOND NON-DESCRIPT WINTER HOLIDAY IS HERE! NOW EVERYONE GET OUT YOUR SHIT AND PUT IT IN THIS BAG!
Jaune: Wait- She's robbing us?!
Yang: Yes, asshole! She does it every year! I just explained that!
Jaune: Oh my god- THEN CALL IT "REVERSE NON-DESCRIPT WINTER HOLIDAY!"
Qrow: We're not giving you our stuff this year! And that's final!
Raven: Oh you god damn better, OR I'LL POUND YOU INTO WET SAUSAGE!
Yang: STOP IT! STOP IT! Every god damn year it's the same thing! Why don't you two just butt-chug already?!
Qrow: I wouldn't butt-chug her if she had chocolate diarrhea!
Raven: HOW DARE YOU!
Vernal: ENOUGH! We shall settle this like true warriors. With a battle to the death. Each side will choose their strongest fighter. If you win, we will leave you alone forever. BUT if we win, there will be TWO SECOND NON-DESCRIPT WINTER HOLIDAYS!
Jaune: Oh my fucking god!
Vernal: (Hisses)
