the landing of the host of the west, f.a. 545, colorized
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the landing of the host of the west, f.a. 545, colorized
Happy new year everyone!!!!
Silmarillion characters rated on a scale of 1 - 10 based off behavior in airport security
Feanor: -10/10 - refuses to give up his sword. Threatens the security with it, telling them to get thee gone from gate F7. Is arrested.
Maedhros: 7/10 - very on top of things. Has all of his things in the xray bins, and manages to get all of his brother’s things set for security too. Points deduced because he always forgets to warn them about the metal prosthetic hand and then cracks hand jokes when they ask him. He is also too tall for the xrays you walk through but he’s apologetic.
Celegorm: 2/10 - he rolls his eyes but abides by the no weapons rule. He says they can’t take his teeth or claws. He does not, however, do all the paperwork to bring however many animals he has at the moment. And some bite.
Amrod and Amras: 6/10 - they trade passports between each passport check. Sometimes more. Otherwise Maedhros is able to get them to behave. Sort of.
Celebrimbor: 8/10 - is excited to be traveling with his friend Annatar. Follows all of the rules and is on perfect behavior. Except he tries to gift each person working there a ring. His friend smiled creepily each time someone took one.
Beleg: 4/10 - argues that he does not have to remove his red boots because he is unbegotten, and if old people don’t have to remove them he doesn’t have to.
Fingolfin: 5/10 - on good behavior until he gets into an argument with security to release Feanor. Gets delayed so much by this that he misses his flight and has to take one with the A/C stuck on.
Fingon: 8/10 - pretty well put together, until he slips further forward in line to argue with security a little about Maedhros's prosthetic. He accidentally drops he is the reason Maedhros has it.
Turgon and Aredhel: Not applicable. They wander off and miss the flight and aren't seen until the next family reunion several years later, where Aredhel has a son and ex husband she won't explain, and the kid keeps making comments that suggest Turgon killed someone.
Argon: 9/10 - doesn't create problems and has perfect behavior, but people keep picking fights with him.
Finarfin: ?/10 - says he is a king so he don't have to go through security. Was giving off enough vibes that the security guards just let him though. Unclear if he is actually allowed to do this.
Finrod: 2/10 - holds up the line for ages because he wore so much jewelry that it keeps setting off the metal detector. He cannot take off enough for it not to go off. They send him to take more off at least 5 times. Almost wanders off past security to investigate the food court and souvenir shops twice, has to be pulled back. Eventually finds his way into the back hallways and pilot's lounges. Strikes up conversation with one and convinces them to teach him to fly a 747 someday. Leaves with extensive knowledge of plane terminology. Cannot hold a normal conversation for the next 2 weeks.
Aegnor: 3/10 - was So Ready to take off his shoes and put everything in bins, then experienced love at first sight with a woman in a neighboring line. Was so enraptured by her he forgot to do everything. They meet after security, and share a brief 57 minutes before they are dragged onto different flights, never to see each other again, and heartbroken.
Galadriel: security thinks she is a 10/10. She is in fact a 1/10 who smuggled several weapons past them in case Feanor tries asking for her hair again.
Edrahil: 6/10 - perfectly behaved, security didn't even realize he was there, until he insisted on holding all of Finrod's jewelry for him, saying the jewelry should be passed to a steward while not on Finrod's person. Tried to give it to Aegnor but Aegnor was still staring lovingly at Andreth.
Gandalf: -15/10 - the one time he tried to fly he attempted to check a cart of fireworks, and was caught with a significant amount of pipe weed. On the no fly list.
Huan: 4/10 - ate his service dog paperwork because he found it demeaning, was one of Celegorm's undocumented animals. Was better behaved than Celegorm. Slightly.
Beren: 5/10 - can be polite but won't if insulted
Luthien: -100/10 - airport security can't keep track of her, can't keep her out of places, and just has to let her do what she wants.
Gildor: 5/10 - fairly well behaved, but a little prone to wandering, and has a lot of questions about how things work.
Here is me making up for the extreme twinkification of my last Curufin, this one looks 10% better. I also hate this Nelyo but cannot envision him nor grasp the concept of his looks, I can’t draw him. :(
After his Nargothrond era, Curvo can’t do much else other than forging (and decorating Himring because someone’s gotta do it and his brother is too busy war-lording around to find a wife smh).
Ranking characters by how funny they find jokes about Maedhros' missing hand
8. Maglor HATES them. He feels incredibly guilty everytime any topic close to Maedhros' imprisonment gets brought up.
7. Same with Fingon. He feels less guilty about the whole situation, but still wishes he could have found a different way to free him (eventhough nobody blames him for it, least of all Maedhros)
6. Caranthir has stopped feeling guilty and has started feeling annoyed
5. Same with Turgon, he doesn't feel guilty, he just thinks the jokes are pretty bad
4. Finrod felt bad at the beginning, but when he saw that Maedhros didn't mind the jokes he started to find them funny and make them himself
3. Maedhros. He is the person that makes those jokes the most, but he always keeps a straight face so nobody is sure if he even is joking. Internally he's laughing his ass off tho
2. Elrond and Elros. After getting over their initial fear, these jokes became one of their biggest bonding moments with Maedhros. Sometimes they can even get him to smile at one and it makes their whole day
1.Celegorm. He thinks they're HILARIOUS. Exactly his type of humour. When Maedhros is returned to them Maglor asks if he's alright, and Maedhros looks down at his stump, answers "no, I fear I'm all left" and promptly passes out. There's a moment of silence in the tent before Celegorm begins to cackle. Then he's on the floor, crying and howling for laughter. His brother's just kinda stand awkwardly by the side.
When I say that Melkor is relatable, I explicitly mean the part where he hides in his basement the moment something is slightly inconvenient.