#source: bugsnax

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Dumbledore: I'm sorry, I just have to sing wherever the urge strikes me. Snape: Well, can it strike you over there?

[incorrect-esmp-quotes]

Oli: I'm sorry, I just have to sing wherever the urge strikes me.

Joel: Well, can it strike you over there?

[musingswithmemes]

You let me worry about that.

I'm very used to worrying.

[incorrect-gaffers-quotes]

Duncan: I was wondering if… do you want to be my boyfriend?

DJ: …That doesn’t make any sense, dude.

Duncan: Oh! Of course you don’t feel the same way—

DJ: We’ve been dating for weeks.

Duncan: Wh-

Duncan: What.

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Frank: *shuffling awkwardly* Eddward… I… we’ve been friends for so long and I’ve always wondered how you feel about me and… d-do you want to be my boyfriend?

Eddie: What? Frank that doesn’t make any sense.

Frank: *tears welling up* Oh. I see… Y-yes. Never mind, forget I said any-

Eddie: Frank, honey, we’ve been dating for years.

Frank: Wait, what?! How is that even possible?!

Eddie: Remember that time we kissed on that ferris wheel, and I said we should move in together?

Frank: *blushing* Well, yes, but I thought we were… roommates with benefits? You know I hate ambiguity!

[modernincorrectlotrhobbit]

Dwalin: I trust Nori as far as can throw him.

Dwalin: Which is 31 feet as of last Tuesday.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Minsc: I trust Edwin as far as I can throw him.

Minsc: Which is 31 feet as of last Thursday.

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Dictionary Keeper: "Hey, Mistress, can I get some of your wisdom?"

Tournament Mistress: "Always, my child."

Dictionary Keeper: "I'm worried about [REDACTED]."

Tournament Mistress: *sighs* "Once more shall you be reminded! [REDACTED] is safer than we, Dixie! Ease your burden."

Dictionary Keeper: "That's... that's not what I mean! I'm worried about the way he's been. All the paranoid stuff, the anxiety. I thought bringing [REDACTED] out here, out into nature, it might mellow him out. Flush all the bad vibes out of his system."

Dictionary Keeper: "But it's only gotten worse! I've known [REDACTED] for so long now... but it feels like he's getting further away from me and... and I just don't know what to do!"

Tournament Mistress: "Ah... One must... in the words of the Master... no, uh... Hold on, I don't want my words to be misinterpreted when I say..."

Tournament Mistress: *tired* "...That boy needs therapy."

Dictionary Keeper: "W-well, yeah for sure, and I'm trying to do that!"

Dictionary Keeper: "I make sure he's safe, I listen to his problems, I-I try to help him feel valid, all that stuff!"

Tournament Mistress: "Dixie, you are strong and wise and wonderful, and you can do everything you can to support him..."

Tournament Mistress: "...But you cannot FIX him. Understand?"

Tournament Mistress: "[REDACTED] is lost in a maze of his own making, and it will take a professional to help him escape."

Dictionary Keeper: "That's... a lot to take in. I need to think about it. Thanks for your wisdom, Tournament Mistress."

Tournament Mistress: *mumble* "Thank me when you actually take my advice."