Incorrect LotR and Hobbit @modernincorrectlotrhobbit - Tumblr Blog

Éomer: Hey, Éowyn, do have a moment to-? Éowyn: No, I’m very busy! Merry: Éowyn, Faramir is calling you! Éowyn, grabbing the phone: Faramir! Hi! Yes, we can go out! I’m free! Éomer: Are you kidding me?

#incorrect quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #lord of the rings #eowyn #eomer #rohan #eowyn x faramir

Merry: What time is it? Pippin: I don’t know. Pass me that saxophone and I’ll find out. Pippin: *blows sax loudly* Sam, from another room: WHO IS PLAYING THE SAX AT 2AM? Pippin: It’s 2am.

#idk why but I always imagine that pippin and sam are the hobbit equivalent of archnemeses #but in a friendly way ofc #source: vine?#incorrect quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #lord of the rings #hobbits #merry brandybuck #pippin took #sam gamgee

Smaug: You're too late! You'll never stop me now. Bilbo: That's where you're wrong, evil-doer! We will stop you with the powers of: Bofur: Friendship! Kili: Harmony! Thorin: Incredible violence. Fili: And love!

#source: owlturd comics #incorrect quotes #incorrect hobbit quotes #the hobbit #thorin #thorin oakenshield #the company of thorin oakenshield #bilbo #bilbo baggins #bofur #fili #kili #smaug #erebor

Fili: Kili and I failed our safety course today. Bilbo: What happened? Kili: Well, one of the questions was, “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” Bilbo: And? Fili: Apparently, “fucking large ones,” wasn’t the right answer.

#incorrect quotes #incorrect hobbit quotes #the hobbit #kili #fili #bilbo #the company of thorin oakenshield #fili and kili #sons of durin #bilbo baggins

Aragorn: Fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed. Gimli: Gimli: I will give the horse that kills me no such luxury.

#weird horse girl aragorn taking the 'weird' part to the next level #source: tumblr #incorrect lotr quotes #lord of the rings #aragorn #the three hunters #gimli #gimli and aragorn #gimli son of gloin #aragorn son of arathorn

Bilbo: If someone told me you murdered someone, I wouldn’t be too surprised, I think. Thorin, instantly: Has someone told you I did? Bilbo: N-no? Thorin, sitting back: Okay.

#source: unsolved #incorrect quotes #incorrect hobbit quotes #the hobbit #bilbo #bilbo baggins #thorin #thorin oakenshield

Frodo: I can't believe Gollum betrayed us again! Frodo: Why is it always the ones you most expect?

#if only someone had constantly warned you about gollum...#source: the good place #incorrect quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #lord of the rings #frodo #frodo baggins #gollum

Mirkwood Guard: Ahh! A ghost! Legolas, running outside: There’s a ghost?? Bilbo, quickly pulling off the Ring: I’m not a ghost!! Legolas, raising his bow: I can fix that.

#au where bilbo panics and reveals himself #everything goes much worse for the Company in this au...#incorrect quotes #incorrect hobbit quotes #the hobbit #bilbo #bilbo baggins #legolas #mirkwood

Barliman Butterbur: We actually have a chip reader now. Gandalf: Oh yeah? Gandalf, pulling a Dorito out of pocket: Hmmm. Barliman: It’s not going to work on that kind of ch- *Chip Reader*: ~Transaction completed.~

#im back again #hi ig?#source: vine #incorrect quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #lord of the rings #incorrect hobbit quotes #the hobbit #gandalf #gandalf the white #gandalf the grey #barliman butterbur #the prancing pony

Bilbo: I think you owe me an apology. Thorin: I’LL APOLOGIZE TO YOU IN HELL. Bilbo: Thorin: Bilbo: Thorin: I don’t actually know what this is about. Sorry I took such a hard stance.

#bilbo is the only person thorin would apologize to like this #source: b99 #the hobbit #incorrect hobbit quotes #incorrect quotes #thorin #thorin oakenshield #bilbo #bilbo baggins #the company of thorin oakenshield #lord of the rings #incorrect lotr quotes

Dis: Kili, can you pass me the onions? Dis: I mean the carrots! No! The lettuce! No! The forks! No! The fridge! Fili: Do you mean the salt? Dis: …yes. Fili: Also, I'm not Kili.