#source: smosh

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Marlene, starting her speech at wolfstar's wedding: in honor of Sirius I'm gonna keep this short

[tiptapismellbullcrap]

Another pitt as smosh quotes

Shamsi: who do you think got you that job Victoria?

Javadi: SHUT. UP.

Javadi: oh my god this isnt me. This isnt me.

Dennis to trinity: when you send me to the cvs to get your *products*. I will get the biggest ones.

Dennis: As the gayest one here! I request, you all get me treats!

Samira: yep, thats how it works

Mel: what kind of treats?

Dennis: I don’t know, I’m new to the culture.

Abby Langdon: you broke his heart. You made him this way

Robby: I didn’t - he wanted to sleep with me! I didn’t do anything! I put my hands up

(Either on break or they are patients. They are eating hospital food)

Dennis: dipping a saltine into milk? I’m white but not that white!

Victoria: I guess I’m white. I guess im fucking white this is fucking delicious

Trinity: No, no we’re not white!

Victoria: I’m white!

(Interacting w a patient they’ve been told is homophobic)

Dennis: my name is dr Whitaker, I’m a resident here at PTMC, and I can’t wait to get home to my hot hot wife.

Robby: okay, get out.

Trinity and Robby: SAVE ME!!! IM BEGGING YOU HE WONT LEAVE ME

Langdon: 🧍‍♂️

Trinity and Robby: I FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THIS MAN BUT HE WONT GO. THE COPS SAID THEY CANT DO ANYTHING BC HES NOT HARMING ME. HES JUST STANDING THERE

Dennis: hey do you mind if you spot me?

Abbot: sure, no problem

(Dennis kisses abbots chest)

Dennis: what are you doing, spot me!

Abbot: hi officer

Cop: do you know how fast you were going? I need to see your license and registration

Abbot: do you have to officer? I’m gay

Cop: yeah, gay people speed all the time

Trinity: we were thinking about doing that bit where we kept pulling out drinks

Baran: but we made it our own ☺️

Trinity: yeah. And then Baran asked “please put my nuts and carrots in there!”

Baran: i brought them from home 😄

(Later)

Trinity to Robby: please, take some of Barans nuts and carrots

Baran: its the snack i brought from home

Robby: you brought dry stew???

Mel: would you want to see it with whitaker?

Trinity: no. I dont want to hang out with dennis outside of work

Mel: thats not true thats not true!

Dennis: no dont say that

Mel: ive hung out with him outside of work and its lovely

Trinity: hanging out with a coworker outside of the pitt is like seeing a dog meow. Anyway none of them text me back

(They are actively roommates and hangout every day)

Samira: on international womens day, broccoli is good for your cervical health. I learned that from an oncologist.

Dennis: well look at that. I didnt know that how come i didn’t learn that i have a cervix

Javadi: uh- you didnt tell us.

Javadi: its what the omegaverse yaoi does tk you

Joy: you know what the omegaverse is?

Robby: no.

Joy: *very detailed explanation. Might as well be the wikipedia article*

(About whitsantos)

Javadi: youre kinda giving, like, older sister with younger gay brother

Trinity: whoswhichwhatwhach

Javadi: exACTLY

Javadi: oh my god google says im 5’4! Im not, how do i fix that? Im not 5’4!

Dennis: my medical record says im 5’2 and a half 😭

Dana: YOUR MEDICAL RECORD?!!

Dennis’s mom probably: Hey it’s me Julie goop. I don’t know about these sacrifices but my sister told me to come. You probably don’t recognise me with my robe on but it’s me. Don’t tell anyone

[incorrectbadkidz]

Fig: Hey Riz, I heard you brought your mom to prom.

Riz: Hah that’s a good one Fig. But I think you misunderstood, see I brought your mom to prom.

Sandra Lynn: Hi honey!

[suck-a-egg]

Echo: Are you kidding!? That’s unfair! He destroy— I need to calm down.

Echo: Everything’s fine.

Droidbait: Echo.

Echo: I’m an adult.

[incorrect-losers]

Eddie: Hey Richie, I heard you brought your mom to prom

The losers: *laugh*

Richie: Hah that’s a good one Eds. But I think you misunderstood

Richie: See I brought your mom to prom

Sonia: Hi honey! Isn’t this fun?

Eddie: MOM?!

[sammys-magical-au]

{Rocky and Adrian (and Ryland) trying to come up with a human-name for their youngest pebble - the discussion has been getting somewhat heated bc Ryland is terrible at naming things}

Ryland, suddenly: Sapphire, guys! My birthstone!

Rocky, the most sarcastic Ryland has ever heard him: THAAAAANKS, GRAAAAACE!!

Ryland: *immediately starts dying laughing*

Rocky, still sarcastic: OH THAAAANKS!!!! Thanks BUD!! *mocking Ryland* SaPpHiRe, gUyS!!!

[shyjusticewarrior]

The Signal Incorrect Quotes Pt 26

Jason, in a wig: Hello, my child.

Duke: Oh my god... Jesus, you really are white.

Jason: Yes. Well, there's multiple Jesus-es. There's a black Jesus-

Duke, excitedly: Black Jesus exists?!

Jason: Yeah, but I mean, I'm here-

Duke: No no no- Where does he live?

Jason: He lives down the street, but he's actually here right now.

Duke: *turns around* Black Jesus-?

Jace, in a wig: What's up?

[sapphireluna96]

*doing a commercial*

Pomni: Look, we get it. As indie animators or voice actors in the age of social media, you're required to constantly put out content.

Jax: And if you're like these bozos (shows a picture of the TADC and Hellaverse casts) who chose online careers instead of pursuing higher education, you're bound to say some pretty dumb s[bonk]t from time to time.

Pomni: With our new apology service, we provide pre-written apology scripts that will help fix your f[squeak]k ups.

Jax: Afraid those old racist or sexist tweets or problematic artwork are gonna resurface? Plan ahead by choosing from one of our many standard apology templates!

Pomni: Templates include apologies for homophobic or transphobic remarks

Jax: Faking pranks

Pomni: Racial slurs

Jax: Not posting videos consistently enough

Pomni: Xenophobic comments

Jax: Leaving a bad tip

Pomni: Sexual assault accusations

Jax: And many, many more!