#state 10

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

*sometime before the American Revolution, after getting into another hot debate over independence*

PA: You know what? I am absolutely finished with this discussion - Done! Go to hell. No, in fact, worse still - go to VA!

VA, literally just there with Jefferson to scope out the other colonies: what did I do?

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

*Dry erase board, in Alfred's handwriting:*

I'll give you a reward if you return my blue dry erase marker

*Beneath it, not in Alfred's handwriting:*

Watching you panic is reward enough

Alfred: alright. So, I tried to be nice. Obviously that's not gonna work so I'm going to use context clues to figure it out. Texas!

TX: yo

Alfred: 'reward' is spelled correctly and in the last piece of legislation you sent me you spelled your own name wrong, so its definitely not you.

TX: ....

Alfred: NC!

NC: .... yes?

Alfed: the handwriting on the board is reminiscent of a 3 year old and your handwriting is more like art, so! Not you.

NC: ...

Alfred: GA-

VA: alfred are you really going through every state to find one marker?

Alfred: yes.

VA: ... okay, well... why dont you just buy a new one?

Alfred: pffft hahaha! You think that I, the capital of the United States of America, have any money? Lmao that's cute.

NC: ... Are you okay?

Alfred: haha no. Alright so! SC --

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

TX: So... DC is kind of angry at me right now any ideas on how to make him less angry?

AR: ... you mean, like, how to make him like you again?

TX: ...

TX: pfft I dont care if he likes me or anything! Ha! I'm so out of his league and like I've already got a million friends.

AR: ...

TX: And, like, so what if hes got this stupid sense of humor and hes really nice and he sometimes let's me stay with him and helps me when my governor's a dumbass

AR: ...

TX: he can also make some killer chilaquiles and his homemade ice cream is actually pretty good despite him not liking sweets

AR: ....

TX: okay fine yes I want him to like me again. Shut up.

AR: you know what you should do then? It's actually so incredibly easy.

TX: Cool cool cool cool cool what? I can do anything. Fight someone? Got it. I've got friends all over so if he needs someone KO'ed I can do that.

AR: Its actually a little easier than that.

TX: What is it?

AR: apologize. Nicely.

TX: ... pfft okay, yeah sure. Apologize. You're joking, right?

NM: Oh, please, since when has AR ever had a sense of humor?

AR: I-

TX: Hey, NM, when did you get here?

NM: I followed the sound of complete betrayal and here I am.

TX/AR: ...

NM: CO texted me. They want food and I brought some BBQ for them.

TX: lmao what do you know about BBQ?

NM: least I havent pissed off Al

TX: ... Shut up

AR: also let's get back to the point: first of all - I am hilarious! My study group thinks so

NM: dont say that like its cool

AR: NM hush. Second off literally all you have to do is look Al in the eye and say, "Alfred, I'm sorry for whatever is it was that I did." Simple.

CO: or you could join the circus and never have to face him again. Or you could make your own circus. That would be lit.

NM: Hey, CO, how you doin?

TX: Sup, CO

AR: Can we please get back to the point? TX, you need to apologize and joining the circus is not the answer. NM: I'm funny, thank you very much, even if my sense of humor isnt as grisly as yours. And CO: .... CO, why are you even here? Quarantine, remember?

CO:

CO: I miss my friends.

AR: ....

AR: we're all going to die.

......

VA: Hey, Wash, quick question.

Alfred: hmm. What's up, VA?

VA: why is TX acting so weird?

Alfred: its TX

VA: Fair point

Alfred: his govenor thinks church and sex shops are essential, while certain healthcare facilities arent.

VA: What did TX do though?

Alfred: he ate my big cookie.

VA: ....

Alfred: normally I dont like sweets or cookies, but this one was made by god herself and was perfect.

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

GA: You know something I never understood? What is it with white people and sitting on their front porch during a thunderstorm?

VA: ah, its calming?

GA: a thunderstorm?

MI: must be a southern thing idk

AR: its soothing

KY: it let's me not think for a while

MD: it gives me an excuse to not... do anything. To just kind of be.

FL: it silences the maelstrom of emotions and feelings in my head.

GA: FL, you're not white?

FL: did you just 'you dont even go here' to me about how I feel about rain??

KY: let's be honest, with all the stupid stuff FL does he is at least a quarter white.

GA: or his dumbassery is just learned. He was raised by Spain, let's not forget

FL: you know I'm right here

GA: are you listening to me, the rain, or the maelstrom of emotions in your head?

FL: I hate everyone here.

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

WV: Alright, I’ve come to a decision

VA: *startled* I-I didn’t even raise a question, but continue, I guess?

WV: I am going to trust God.

VA: T-that’s great, West! I’m happy for you - 

WV: I am God. 

VA: Why is it that everytime you come up with a vaguely good idea you have to immidiately come up with a very, very bad idea 

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

FL: hey, have you seen my bird eater?

VA: your... your what?

FL: ... my bird eater? Brisbane gave me one a while back and I've been letting it roam around periodically in a hamster ball and- why are you looking at me like that?

VA: why would you have a bird eating spider?

FL: I mean, he was a gift? Like, I couldnt turn down a gift and Bach is pretty cool and -

VA: you named a spider, one of the deadliest spiders in the world, after an austrian composer.

FL: hey, the other one was named Wolfgang

VA:

VA: what other one??

FL: you always seemed so surprised, but let me remind you that I am home to some of the deadliest spiders and snakes in the world. I've got widows, recluses, and wolf spiders.

VA: then adopt a wolf spider??

FL: they'd get out of the hamster ball

VA: you are never allowed to visit me. Ever.

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

wait why would virginia demolish the poor cardinals :( doesn't she know they squeak :((((

The way I see and write VA, shes very much industrialist, I guess you could say? She has little patience which sometimes translates to a very short fuse, so if you catch her on a bad day (like revisiting a remnant of her past, an era that might hold some of that "good ol' days vibe) then she'll be a little short tempered and if you annoy her (like playing with tweeting birds for an entire car ride) she'll probably grab the thing out of your hand and just toss it out the window.

Also, I kind of see her as the mother of the modern american military (personal au for a personal story I thought about a while back), so she doesnt have a lot of patience in general and compartmentalizes various things including emotions. She puts up with her siblings and Al, and I personally hc that her and NY raised Al, but that's the extent of it.