#state 12

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

*Dry erase board, in Alfred's handwriting:*

I'll give you a reward if you return my blue dry erase marker

*Beneath it, not in Alfred's handwriting:*

Watching you panic is reward enough

Alfred: alright. So, I tried to be nice. Obviously that's not gonna work so I'm going to use context clues to figure it out. Texas!

TX: yo

Alfred: 'reward' is spelled correctly and in the last piece of legislation you sent me you spelled your own name wrong, so its definitely not you.

TX: ....

Alfred: NC!

NC: .... yes?

Alfed: the handwriting on the board is reminiscent of a 3 year old and your handwriting is more like art, so! Not you.

NC: ...

Alfred: GA-

VA: alfred are you really going through every state to find one marker?

Alfred: yes.

VA: ... okay, well... why dont you just buy a new one?

Alfred: pffft hahaha! You think that I, the capital of the United States of America, have any money? Lmao that's cute.

NC: ... Are you okay?

Alfred: haha no. Alright so! SC --

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

Alfred: I am the smartest, most cleverest, most brilliant capital. 

NC: ... 

NC: why is your hand stuck in the vending machine?

Alfred: I paid for Reese Pieces and I’m getting my Reese Pieces 

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

VA: I feel like my perfect complexion makes up for my complete lack of patience.

GA: Lack of patience? VA, you literally stood there for hours and calmly explained everything when I got my first laptop. You coached me through my first laptop.

FL: I feel like it should be duly noted that GA is literally the exception to every arbitrary rule that VA has.

VA: That's not-

AL: 'no cups on my wood table unless you have a coaster! Except you, GA, dear, feel free to place your glass anywhere.'

VA: Thats-

SC: 'no yelling in my house- wait GA, Honey, what was that you needed? Please, yell louder when you need something.'

VA: wait, thats-

NC: 'if yall need to call me, I have a strict schedule and will not answer if you call past midnight- 'cept you GA, please call me whenever you need to.'

VA: I mean, we're dating. I feel like there should be differences.

Al: yesterday at a meeting you literally said, 'shut up. Everyone in this room is a blazing moron. Except you, GA, I'm so glad for your contributions.'

VA: how was that a problem???

NY: GA wasnt even there.

VA: ....

VA: you know what? Shut up. From now on, everyone is either GA or not-GA.

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

*sometime during the revolution*

MD: okay, well... I'll admit, things are not going exactly as we planned, and I can see why a lot of you are feeling... well, somewhat disheartened-

NY: we're not only getting our asses kicked, but France is no more closer to getting us aid than they were a year ago. Yeah, how do we even know they're actually helping us?? For all we know, they're selling our secrets to England!

NC: France helping England?

SC: Oh, yeah, that sounds sooo realistic.

MD: *glares at them* y'alls attitudes are terrible! Not only have the English not captured general Washington, but we've actually shown them that we're a capable force!

DE: MD is right. Buck up, yall. What are we?

Group: *mutters pathetically*

DE: I cant hear you! What are we?

Group: *a little louder* Americans

DE: what was that?

Group: Americans!

DE: Yeah! We're Americans! And you know what that means? We're going to open up a merry can of whoop ass on the British!

Group: ....

NY: do you take constructive criticism?

DE: no

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

VE: Ooooh what's this? *smells a container full of spices*

ME: ... did you just put that in your mouth??? You know you cant put everything in your mouth or up your nose, right?

VE: oh, wow, that's really hot.

Meanwhile

SC: hey, have you seen my can of reapers?

NC: I... have not, actually. Here, though, you can borrow some of mine.

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like tear drops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

...

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise

-- “Still I Rise.”- Maya Angelou

Behold, the state of North Carolina! 

Brilliant, stoic, caring, fashionable, haughty, graceful, and so many more adjectives, both good and bad. The representative of North Carolina can stare down the barrel of a gun with no expression and that very same day can be found surrounded by children at the public library and reading some action novel. 

She bares her soul to only her sister, seems haughty and unconcerned to anyone that does not know her, but will fight like hell to ensure the safety of her siblings. 

Older than the Appalachians and a witness to the arrival of Europeans, she watched as her shores were turned to ruin and dust, home to the evils of the African slave trade. she fought her way to the top and made sure that her position was secured and that no man or woman could take anything from her, then turned her attention to aiding those that needed help most.  

Introducing the Old North State,

She is beauty, she is grace, she will punch you in the face.

North Carolina

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

NC: You know, Alfred, I get that you’re younger than a lot of us, but you’re surprisingly irresponsible.

Alfred: What? How?

NC: you are aware that even we need a full 8 hours of sleep.

Alfred: I did have 8 hours of sleep!

NC: A night, Alfred. 8 hours a night. Not all week. 

[azvee]

Hurray for MN!

We may get snow in May, but that doesn't negate the fact that people in Minnesota are awesome enough to legalize gay marriage.