𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒; 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐋𝐘
summary: buck and nash!reader have been dating in secret for awhile, secret as in the only one who's yet to find out is readers dad, bobby. that is until he accidentally finds out and isn't exactly pleased...
warnings: nash!reader, fem!reader, angst, fluff, hidden relationship, Eddie being FED up, a little buddie x reader if you REALLY and i mean REALLY squint, buck being both an idiot and a little douchey, slight implied plus size reader but not really, shit ending but i hate writing this long of a fic so don't be mad (yes i consider this long)
notes: i need this man so bad grrr
divider credit: @cursed-carmine
It started after a particularly rough shift, both finding comfort in one another. What started as one night of finding relief soon became something more. Sex became an outlet and eventually a relationship blossomed.
Somehow you both managed to keep it a secret, it was hard sure but everyone was so wrapped up in their own problems that no one had caught on. It stayed that way for a while at least.
The agreement to keep the relationship hidden had been mutual, at least for the most part. The longer it stayed a secret the harder it was to tell anyone. Both of you were scared of your fathers reaction, Buck being like a son to Bobby was afraid he was crossing a line. The relationship Evan and Bobby had developed was one your boyfriend (and father alike) cherished dearly, and Evan didn’t want anything to come between it.
If your relationship with Buck was to come to an end, you didn't want anyone to be caught in the middle, whether that be Buck or your dad. Dynamics at the station would shift and no one deserves to have to choose sides.
Regardless of everything the guilt was eating you up inside, still you didn’t say anything, didn’t say how maybe it would be a good idea for your relationship to come out as Buck begged Eddie to keep his mouth shut. It started with Eddie and soon enough the only one who was none the wiser was Cap.
You’d both heard a thousand times from your coworkers and friends that you should just tell him, he would find out soon enough anyway. “Come on, you’re going to have to tell Cap sooner or later, why not do it sooner?”, Eddie questions as he places the bowl of salad on the dining table.
Buck gives somewhat of an exasperated sigh, “It’s not that simple.” He sets the cutlery down on the table, his back turned to you so he can’t see the conflicted expression on your face once again.
“Why? Why isn't it that simple? What good do you think it’s doing to wait?” Goddamn Eddie for being sensible. A sensibleness Buck-, no, both of you seemed to be lacking.
Bucks hands clench, “It’s not about doing good, it's about preventing the bad. Once we tell him there's no undoing it. Think of the fallout if it blows up in our faces.”
You place four plates on the table, hesitant to speak up your voice comes out unsure, “Maybe Eddies right…”, The look on Bucks face was like daggers but you continued anyway, “He’s going to find out soon enough and it’s going to be so much worse if it’s not us he’s hearing it from. Plus this is stressing everyone out.”
An ‘I told you so’ - satisfied smirk makes its way onto Eddie's lips at that. With one hand on his hip he watches Buck who looks as stubborn as ever but at the end of the day there was only so many times he could say no to you.
“We’ll talk about it later.”Buck mutters, irritated with his best friend's interference and his girlfriend's agreeance. But most of all with the fact he knew they were right.
“Seriously, Evan, Hen is about this-,” he holds two fingers up “close to outing you both.”
A loud scoff leaves Bucks lips, his eyes rolling. “She wouldn’t.”, he shakes his head, though his tone is unconvinced. He knows Hen and he knows Eddie isn’t lying.
In an urge to comfort him you step beside Buck, hands running soothingly up and down his arms. You wished Eddie would drop the subject, at least for now but he was relentless.
He raises an eyebrow, grin still present even though he’s annoyed with the pair of you. “You sure about that? Because last week she said, and I quote, ‘If those two don’t grow a spine and tell Bobby, I’m announcing it during morning briefing.’”
Buck groans dramatically and drags a hand down his face, muttering “Unbelievable” under his breath.
Your boyfriend turns his head and looks down at you, his face softening but not completely. It’s not until you turn him, one hand cupping his face and the other massaging his shoulder gently that the tightness in his jaw eases.
“You know my dad, he’ll be understanding and supportive as long as we tell him.”, You say softly. You weren’t just reassuring him, you were reassuring yourself as well. Buck’s eyes flicker down to the floor, he knew you weren’t wrong but the anxiety still stayed.
Eddie finishes putting food out onto the table just as Christopher appears from his room. The four of you settle at the table for dinner and for the moment the subject changes.
Later that night Buck and you had talked about it again, the conversation ending in a similar result as the prior one. Both of you are tense and caught in your own thoughts, mulling over the pros, cons and the inevitable truth that your relationship couldn’t be a secret forever nor much longer.
Buck sits against the headboard of your bed, his gaze unfocused as he zones out. Despite your own overthinking you notice how spaced out he is, staring off into the distance.
You finish getting ready for bed before you join him, climbing over to him to straddle his lap, his hands immediately taking their place on your thighs. Neither of you break the silence at first, the air heavy with unspoken tension.
Almost subconsciously his hands palm your doughy thighs, the action working to soothe him. At first you don't register the words he says, but when you process it you’re taken aback, shocked by his decision.
“We’ll tell him.”, he murmurs quietly, so quietly you barely catch it.
You blink, hands pausing where they’d been resting on his shoulders, “What? Are you serious?”
He nods slowly, swallowing down the nervous lump in his throat, “Yeah. Just- Just let me choose the right moment, please.”
You agreed, you’d let him do it when he was ready. Waiting clearly wasn't an issue you had.
Another shift had passed and the truth still remained hidden. Both of your courages were shattered when the bell had gone off just as you’d told Bobby you needed to talk.
Now here you were back at Buck’s apartment, lying on top of him in nothing but his shirt and a pair of panties. Your head resting on his bare chest, the sheets beneath the pair of you messy and tangled.
Bucks fingers lazily grazing the exposed skin on your back, shirt ridden up just above your mid section. It had been a tough shift, especially for Buck. One call bringing up the traumas of his childhood. This, exactly how you were right now, was what he needed to unwind.
“I love you, sweetheart.”, he whispers. The first time those three words had been said, though previously unspoken it was obvious. Obvious in the way you touched, the way you spoke, the way you simply existed with one another.
You turn your head to look at his face, lips twitching up into a wide smile. You see the light rosy blush dusting his cheeks. You adored when he looked this way, flustered, comfortable, in love.
“I love you too.”, you murmur back, grin widening even as you shift higher up his chest to place pecks against his lips.
The blonde tucks your hair behind your ear, eyes roaming across your face in admiration. “I’m sorry if I’ve been making you doubt lately. Doubt us I mean.”
Your brows furrow, you had an idea of what he meant but you weren’t expecting an apology. You knew Buck always had the best intentions at heart even if he had a funny way of showing it.
“I want Bobby to know. I do, god, I really do. I want him to know how much I love his daughter.”, you go to speak but he continues, “He should have known a long time ago. I’m sorry that you’ve had to lie to him, to keep things from him.”
You look at him, look into his eyes. You reach up, thumb stroking lightly against the stubble of his jaw. “It’s not just you who didn’t want him to find out. Don’t put all of this onto yourself.”
“Yeah but it’s me who keeps stalling.”, he sighs, fingers toying with the band of your underwear absently.
You scatter kisses across his chest, “Think how good it’ll be when we don’t have to hide it.”
He groans lowly at the feeling of your lips against his skin, “Trust me, I do. Can’t wait to be able to touch you, kiss you whenever I want. Brag about being your boyfriend.”
You can’t help the giggle that escapes. “Yeah? Who exactly are you planning on bragging to?”, you tease, smirking up at him as you rest your head back down on his chest.
“Only everyone. Whoever will listen, and even the ones who don’t.”
You shake your head grinning, pressing your lips back to his. Your fingers rake through his curls as you press yourself closer, deepening the kiss.
The kiss is only broken by the sound of knocking at the front door. You pull apart and Buck groans, rolling his eyes with ever the attitude.
“Expecting someone?”, you ask, quirking an eyebrow at the blond at which he shakes his head.
“Maybe we should just ignore it.”, he mumbles, fingers tangling into your hair to tilt your head to the side, leaning up to start kissing your neck.
His attempt at keeping you in bed fails. “Want me to get it?”, you tease, backing away in only his shirt that hangs just at your thighs making it look like you have nothing under.
“Go for it, baby.”, he hums watching you walk away, taking in the way you look in his clothes. As you reach the bottom of the stairs Evan rolls over and grabs his phone from the nightstand, scrolling through his notifications he hasn’t checked since finishing his shift.
Meanwhile you trail down the stairs of his loft, over to the door in a happy daze, grinning away at your boyfriend's previous affections.
Stupidly, you don’t bother looking through the peephole, instead opting to just open the door. You had been expecting anyone but who you were met with.
Your face instantly drops, hand on the door knob stilling.
Buck by now after reading the texts on his phone has raced down the stairs to stand beside you, his face equally as mortified.
You both stutter simultaneously, stumbling on words and thoughts.
Bobby’s face mirrors your own shock. Awkward silence passes as no one knows what to say. Your father is the first to break it.
“I see I interrupted something.”
Buck, still shirtless with only his sweats and boxers hanging low on his hips, is quick to jump into damage control, though he doesn’t do a very good job of it. “We can explain, I swear.”
A disappointed sigh escapes Bobby, “I bet you can.” His eyes shift away, “I’d rather have this conversation with the two of you fully clothed.”
“Right.”, Evan nods, lips pressed in a tight line. His hands come down on the sides of your upper arms, guiding you back towards the stairs, sensing you were pretty much frozen in place by embarrassment.
While the pair of you go upstairs, Bobby makes his way into the small apartment, sitting at the table while he waits.
You make eye contact with Buck as you pull on a pair of pants and he a shirt. With the apartment being so tiny you couldn’t say anything, not with your father and captain downstairs. The loft barely even being a real room, lacking a wall and door.
Anxiety radiated off you both. Though part of you couldn’t help but feel relief at everything being out in the open. Or at least soon to be.
When you come back down the stairs you see Bobby with his head resting in his hand, elbow on the dining table he’s sitting at. His gaze is distant, as if looking back and trying to find all the signs he’d missed. He turns his attention to the pair of you as you sit down with him.
Where to even start? How were you meant to tell your father that this started as a spontaneous hook up. You didn’t want him to know that and you’d guess Buck didn’t either.
“How long has this been going on?”, he asks, motioning between you and Evan.
Bobby’s eyes narrow, “How long is ‘a while’?”
You risk a glance at your boyfriend who’s turned at least a shade paler.
Buck swallows down the nervous lump in his throat, “A few months.”
The older man’s eyes widen, he rubs his forehead like this whole thing was giving him a headache.
You nod immediately, hopefully the fact you were dating and this wasn’t some meaningless fling would count for something. Or it could make the fact it was hidden worse.
Buck echoes you with a simple but tense, “Yeah.”
Bobby exhales heavily through his nose, nodding slowly like he’s trying to absorb the information piece by piece. There’s no outburst, no immediate anger. Just that furrowed brow of his and a thick silence that fills the room.
“Dad, I’m so sorry we didn’t tell you-”,
“We wanted to, we really did, Cap.”, Buck butts in panicking.
Bobby sighs, exuding disappointment and betrayal, “Why didn’t you tell me? Who else knows?”
You wince, not wanting to say everyone but him. His hurt is evident and it makes your heart clench to know you're the cause of it.
“We were worried. We got in our heads too much.”, you admit. “We’ve been planning on telling you… Things just haven’t been going right. You ignore the last part of the question, hoping he doesn’t realise. He probably knew the answer without needing to be told anyway.
“Bobby, it’s my fault. I’ve been scared to tell you, putting it off for as long as I could because I didn’t want to screw anything up between us. You’re family, like a dad to me and I didn’t want to risk losing that.”, Buck’s sincere and Bobby can tell. His words come out like a plea, begging his captain to forgive him.
Obviously it wasn’t only the blonds fault, you playing your own equal part in it but the fact that Buck was trying to take all the blame was both heartwarming and a little frustrating.
After a moment of deep thought Bobby breaks his silence. “I get it, I do.” Buck relaxes slightly until he hears the next word to come from his mouth.
“But,” Bobby continues, his voice tinged with that firm, fatherly authority, “you should’ve come to me sooner. Both of you. I may be your captain, Buck, but I’m also her father. I deserved to know before now. And I deserved to be told, I shouldn’t have had to walk in on the two of you.”
You sigh, speaking quietly, “Of course you did.” A beat passes before anyone speaks again, tension high in the room.
“You kept this from me for months,” Bobby says, a tinge of frustration bleeding through. “You’ve lied, made excuses anytime I was getting suspicious or getting close to the truth. And I’m guessing you’ve had the crew lie to me at one time or another to cover for you.”
Shaky breaths seep from you and Buck, both looking guilty like two children being scolded. You fidget with your hands in your lap, listening to every disappointed word your father says.
“I’m sorry, Bobby. I really love her.”, Buck’s voice cracks. His eyes shine with emotion, watery like he was almost about to cry. Your cheeks warm at his words, probably turning beetroot red. You could get used to hearing him say that.
“I don’t doubt it, and I can’t really say I’m all that surprised. I’ve seen the way you look at each other.”, Bobby admits with slight amusement, a small grin sneaking onto his face that he tries to contain.
You both can’t help the way the corners of your lips turn up at that.
“I thought I was imagining it. Or maybe I just didn’t want to see it.”, Bobby sighs. “Even though I feel betrayed, I am still happy for the both of you. I’m just hurt that you had so little faith in me.”
Your boyfriend finds your hand under the table, squeezing it tightly but reassuringly.
“I’m sorry dad, if we could go back do things differently then I definitely would.”
Bobby nods, his expression softening.
“No more secrets.”, Buck announces, standing up. Bobby and yourself do the same.
Buck holds out his hand to Bobby, not as his captain but as your father, seeking approval. Approval he should have asked for a long time ago.
Bobby waits an uncomfortable amount of time to take his hand, almost to the point of you thinking he wasn't going to. Really it was just to make Buck itch.
They shake hands, Bobby pulling Buck into a firm hug. “I’d say you better treat her right, Evan, but I know you will.”, your father says firmly, still a warning.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way. I love her with all my heart.”, Buck smiles as they pull apart. He’s still tense but nowhere near as bad as earlier.
Next he pulls you into his arms tightly, the kind of fatherly hug that says I’m still your dad first, no matter what. His chin rests briefly against the top of your head, and you feel his chest rise and fall in a heavy sigh.
“Promise me the next time something big happens you’ll let your old man know, okay?”, he murmurs not letting you go just yet. You both knew that sometimes he couldn’t help but still see you as his little girl, that was something he’d have to work on.
He presses a kiss to the top of your head, “I love you too, sweetheart.” He pulls away as he adds, “You too, Buck.”, with a teasing grin that makes both you and Buck chuckle. This felt nice. The three of you back to being close. No more secrets, nothing hidden.
After a moment your brow furrows, a question popping into your head. “Why did you come here in the first place?”
“Thought I’d check on Buck after that call today. I see now that he was in good hands all along.”
“Well that was…”, Buck trails off not knowing how to put it into words. His hands rest on your hips as he sits on the edge of the bed, you standing in front of him. Your thumb rubs soothing circles on his cheek, the other running through his hair in the way he likes as you look down at him lovingly.
After Bobby had left it was like a heavy weight had been lifted from your shoulders and from your relationship. Of course it would take a little while for things to fall into a new normal but at least now you weren’t carrying some big secret.
“Well what now, Evan Buckely?”, you hum. The use of his full name makes Buck smirk, he grabs you and brings you down onto the mattress, settling on top of you between your legs.
His smirk doesn’t falter, that crooked grin you love so much staying right where it is. “Guess now we get to figure out what being public actually means.”
“How about we start by not answering the door half naked?”, you suggest. He pauses his attempt at lifting your shirt off like he just got caught doing something he’s not supposed to.
“Now, who’s fault was that, huh?”, he teases, kissing down your stomach.
“Yeah, yeah. Lesson learned.”
a/n: lowkey hate this but i say that about everything i write. fuck it we ball.
omg i should have added maddie in this what the freak
