Jul 13
designs from my au.
you can find the fic here :p
seen from Russia
seen from Pakistan
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Maldives
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
designs from my au.
you can find the fic here :p
I think it would be cool if the fam named their favorite signature weapon! Because there is no way they just call them like escrima sticks or bo staff
God yes. Just yes. I love those, I’d imagine that Bruce’s weapons have the funniest names bc the kids named them, so basically every one of his weapons has a dumb ass name. Of course they also have the dumbass names that Dick gave them, but they also have individual names. Like batarangs, overall they’re called batarangs, but they also have individual names. The most common name for batarangs is Jeffery. Why? Who knows. The kids just keep calling batarangs Jeffery. It doesn’t make sense but it did lead to this interaction:
Bruce: This batarang is dull.
Steph: How dare you call Jeffery dull! They have feelings to!!
Bruce: …you are talking about an inanimate object
Babs: Still has more personality than you.
But here’s a quick run through of some of the fam’s weapons and their names.
Dick’s escrima sticks: Cher and Elton John; some of his favorite musicians
Jason’s guns: Jane Austen and Virginia Woolf; Some of his favorite authors
Tim’s bo staff: Gygax; One of the creators of D&D
Damian’s sword: Toothless; From How to Train Your Dragon
The batfamily as things my family has said Pt. 2
Bruce: *trying to convince himself* I love my children. I love them so much. Especially when one of them is currently sucking the fucking life out of me!!!
Dick: (sing to the tune of I Want It That Way)TELL ME WHY? CAN’T I HAVE CEREAL FOR LUNCH? TELL ME WHYY???
Jason: *overdramtic voice breaking* What if I was to die right now?! Huh? Would you still be a little bitch to me?
Tim: *singing and dancing* I’m walking on sunshine!!!
Damian: DRAKE, you are walking on top of me you imbecile!!! I am going to fuck your shit up!
Stephanie: Oh god! Bananas and Mayo don’t mix!
Cassandra: Call me Cassie again and I’ll break your trachea.
Barbra: Boys, the sad thing is... I’m smarter than you all combined.
Headcanons for the Bat-Family's reactions if Bernard hurts Tim? (Yes ik this is depressing and dark. I'm a mentally fucked over person)
Yeesss I love hurting Tim (I act nice but I’m actually a cold hearted bitch to these poor Robins). So it definitely depends on how Bernard hurt him and whether or not they actually broke up after. Like bats are super petty so the punishment will definitely fit the crime (for example breakup over text=horrible virus on all devices and destroyed phone). But here's what I think their general reactions would be:
Bruce:
He buys an ice cream company for Tim.
He has a lot of good intentions but spends too much time in the batcave making plans and not actually talking to Tim. Eventually Jason calls him out on this. After that he takes Tim to a music festival and they just spend the day together.
Dick:
His main focus is Tim. He will constantly be ready to talk it out and help Tim through it.
If he see Bernard he won't be overly friendly but he is likely to be civil. Although he probably will make some passive aggressive remarks.
Babs:
She will cyber stalk Bernard and probably fuck up his laptop.
She supports Tim by playing video games and always being available to talk.
Jason:
He won't hurt Bernard (cause Tim doesn't want that) but he will be a complete asshole to the poor kid.
When Tim tells everyone about the break up it gets really quiet and super tense because no one knows how Tim wants them to react. Jason makes a joke and gets Tim to laugh. After that Jason's ready to talk but he's also fine just making stupid jokes and being a distraction.
Cass:
She immediately cuddles Tim and doesn't let go for a week. She's always by his side, and becomes super protective over him.
She doesn't hurt Bernard, but her goal for at least the next month is to create as many minor inconvenience as possible. She breaks into his house and steals one sock from every pair, buries the remote in the backyard, loosens all the screws in his door hinges, basically she just causes hella chaos.
Steph:
She gives Cass ideas on how to inconvenience Bernard and helps.
She's the one who is down to just completely shit talk Bernard. She is down to burn pictures, break shit, and just help out with the post break up anger the Tim might feel.
Duke:
He offers Tim an escape from the rest of the family.
The family is trying to help but they can be smothering, so Duke is there for Tim when he needs time away. Duke brings snacks and B Horror movies and makes sure that Tim just has time to recharge.
Damian:
He doesn't care, he does nothing. He definitely doesn't set Bernards yard on fire. Ignore the smoke.
He also definitely does not send Alfred the Cat or Titus to cuddle Tim. They just decided to do that on their own.
Sick day headcannons!!!!!!!
Hell yeah, I do have a post on this already (linked here) but sick day headcanons are some of my favs so let’s do some more! (Just btw there will be some repeats but that just means I rlly like that headcanon)
Dick
Dick: Oh no, god no!
Wally: What’s wrong?!
Dick: I’m dying!
Wally, suspicious: Okay…
Dick: Please Wally this is serious, I need help!
Wally, deciding to take Dick seriously: Okay, what’s wrong? What do you need?
Dick: Just a coffin. Made of maple- no oak! And roses, preferably white, oh or blue! With baby’s breath. And-
Wally: Dick, what’s wrong?!
Dick: I burnt the roof of my mouth.
Wally leaves.
A good rule of thumb for Dick is the more dramatic he is the less serious the situation. The less dramatic he is the more serious the situation.
He will go into work with a cold and complain the entire day.
If he has something serious that’s contagious he’ll call in sick but just say it’s a slight stomach bug.
If it’s not contagious he will act like everything is completely fine.
One time he did this after getting an injury on patrol and ended up passing out and spending that night and the next day in the ICU.
He has become a bit more responsible over the years, mainly bc he thinks it’s adorable how sweet and cuddly Damian gets.
His favorite sick day activity is eating junk food and watching rom coms under a fuzzy blanket .
Babs
Dick: Please go to bed!
Babs: I am, I am, just one more line of code.
Dick: You’ve said that for the last three hours!
Babs tries to relax when sick but she has trouble actually taking a step back to rest.
Most of the time she’ll take a nightquil then get distracted by something and ends up falling asleep in front of her screen.
Usually Cass or Steph will come over and take care of her.
Steph always makes the best comfort food. And usually Cass will tuck Babs into bed.
Babs loves dozing on the couch to the sound of Cass and Steph laughing in the kitchen as they make her soup.
If Cass and Steph can’t come over she loves talking to them over discord while eating take out. Usually she and Cass just listen to Steph babble or she watches on of them stream something.
She also usually ends up falling asleep.
Jason
Bruce: Are you sick?
Jason: I’m legally dead.
Bruce: That doesn’t-
Jason: So,legally, no. I am not sick.
Jason will forever and always argue that he can’t get sick since he already died.
When he was little he was rarely able to get extra rest when he was sick. Because when he was really little he wanted to go to school to avoid Willis. After Catherine died he was too busy just trying to survive to focus on being healthy.
But when Catherine was alive and Willis was away Jason would stay home from school, and if Catherine was sober she would read to him and sing lullabies. This only happened like twice but Jason cherishes those memories of Catherine.
As a kid if he was ever sent home for being sick he’d get in huge trouble with Willis.
After being adopted the first time he was sent home with a fever he begged Alfred not to tell Bruce and hid in his closet until he stopped crying being sad. Alfred sat by the closet door with soup, a grilled cheese, and tea, reading The Princess Bride aloud until Jason came out. It took two hours.
Jason’s favorite sick day activity is drinking tea and rereading The Princess Bride (with the movie playing quietly in the background) while wearing his Wonder Woman hoodie.
Cass
Steph: Cass why are you patrolling while sick?!
Cass shrugs.
Steph, with a sigh: You’re allowed to take a sick day, okay?
Cass looks unsure but nods.
Steph: C’mon, let’s get you a bath and fuzzy blankets.
Cass forgets that she’s not just a weapon/tool. She forgets that she’s allowed to rest when sick.
Because of this she will keep going no matter what and tends to view ‘taking a sick day’ as a failure.
Steph, Tim, and Babs have been working on this with her. She’s improved a lot now that Tim lost his spleen and gets sick easily.
Now usually Steph cooks for her while Babs lays with her.
Cass isn’t against taking medicine but she never feels like the situation is severe enough to require medication. So someone in the fam has to convince her to take her meds.
She becomes extremely cuddly when sick and will cling to anyone near her.
Her favorite sick day activity is watching old horror movies with Steph or Babs.
Steph
Steph: I’m fine.
Steph: I’m fine.
Steph: I’m fine.
Steph: I’m- I have a fever of 104, I should rest.
Stephs mom is a doctor, so she’s used to being told “it’s just a cold, you’re fine”.
Usually she keeps going until she can’t then sleeps for like three days.
But it’s less out of stubbornness and more out of habit. So if someone tells her to rest she’s immediately like “okay!” and takes the sick day.
Babs always calls or comes over to check on her every day that she’s sick.
Cass has been learning how to cook and loves making Steph food when she’s sick.
Tim used to come over but now he always calls.
Stephs favorite sick day activity is sleeping with an ice pack or heating pad, depending on the sickness, with a giant cup of ginger ale and Cass curled up beside her.
Tim
Jason: Tim, are you sick?
Tim, tiredly staring at case files: No I-
Tim is interrupted by a violent coughing fit.
Tim: Oh, I guess I am?
Growing up Tim loved getting sick because it meant the house keeper would come over and take care of him and he might even get a hug.
But she stopped coming over when Tim was ten, his parents thought he was old enough to handle being sick on his own.
Sick days in the manor were a shock to him because he was rarely alone, there was always one family member by his side.
Now that he’s immunocompromised he’s always surrounded by people, he pretends to get annoyed with it but really he loves how much they care.
Dick always sings Romani lullabies and runs his fingers through Tim’s hair. Jason, Duke, and Steph will cook for him. Damian stay by his side and bring him tea. Babs will play video games with him. And Cass does a bit of everything, at least everything other than sing to him.
The family also takes Tim getting sick very seriously so if they here one cough he’s immediately being interrogated and getting his temperature checked.
Tim’s favorite sick day activity is laying under a weighted blanket with a cup of tea and playing video games with Babs, Steph, Duke, and Cass.
Duke
Dick, knocking on Duke’s door: Hey bud, why are you still in bed? I thought we were training together?
Duke: Sorry, I forgot to cancel. I’m sick and don’t think I can handle training today.
Dick: You’re sick?!
Duke: Yeah, but don’t worry I’ve been disinfecting and cleaning so no one else should get sick.
Dick: I’m not worried about getting sick, I’m worried about you!
Duke: …oh, okay.
Growing up sick days were spent at home either resting alone or with one of his parents.
He had to do some fending for himself (like cleaning and making food when his parents weren’t home with him) but nothing extreme or unexpected. So, overall he had pretty normal sick days.
After he parents went missing he was so focused on getting them back and saving them that he never stopped to rest when sick.
Now as a member of the Wayne family his sick days are always spent with someone by his side, at least they are if he tells the family he’s sick.
He’s gotten in trouble several times for not telling Alfred/the family that’s he’s sick. Not because he puts Tim at risk, he like all the family is very cautious about that, but because everyone worries about him and wants to help take care of him.
After several lectures from Alfred he’s finally getting better about telling the family when he’s sick.
His favorite sick day activity is reading Jason’s copy of The Princess Bride while having a bowl of Alfred’s chicken noodle soup.
Damian
Jason: Are you sick?
Damian: N-
Damian sneezes like a kitten.
Damian: No.
Cass, smiling: Sick baby brother, cute sneeze.
Damian tries to be offended but ends up having a sneezing fit.
Steph: That’s so adorable!!
Damian has the most adorable sneezes. He literally sounds like a kitten and the entire family and hero community finds it adorable. Damian hates it.
He used to try and pretend he wasn’t sick and just work through it.
Then he sneezes in front of Harley and Ivy and they cooed over him for an hour.
Now he grumpily secluded himself in his room when sick.
Usually the family will check on him and find that Jon flew over and they’re cuddling on his bed watching cartoons.
When Damian’s sick he really craves spicy food. Like everything he eats he’ll add hot sauce or pepper to. His food is so spicy that only Cass can handle it, like it makes ghost peppers look like child’s play.
His favorite sick day activity is drinking masala chai under one of Tim’s fuzzy blankets while wearing Dick’s old hoodies and surrounding himself with various soft things he stole from his siblings. This is preferably done while eating spicy tomato or lentil soup and watching cartoons with Jon.
The Batgirls Get Kidnapped Pt. 2
Babs: You want to make a ransom call?
Kidnapper 5 (Al): Yes, all you have to do is-
Babs: No.
Frank: Did you just say no?
Babs: Yeah, no. I will not make a ransom call.
Al, looking tired: Why? Why will you not make the call?
Babs: Al, buddy, your operation is a joke. I would be embarrassed for anyone to find out that I was involved with something like this.
Steph: Ha! For once I'm not the one on the receiving end of this lecture!
Babs glares at Steph: We will be discussing your conduct later.
Steph, groans: Dammit.
Joe, whispering to Steph: How is she so terrifying?
Steph: I wish I knew.
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stephanie brown absolutely writes crackfic about the batfam using details specific enough to worry bruce but not specific enough to pin down which of his kids is doing it. her long game is to frame jason, but at the moment she's keeping tim under suspicion as well.
Stephanie Brown