so that thing alteredpanel made was pretty useful
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so that thing alteredpanel made was pretty useful
Jolt wanted to draw tonight, but instead Umbre and I showed up this evening. I took the opportunity to write down some of my mental notes before bed.
our map of headspace because i think it’s cool ^^
bit of a filler post because i need to post SOMETHING on this sideblog. bibbity bobbity boo BAM! communication map inspired by the latest instalment of @/alteredpanel :]]] there's also a couple new members who have come forward in the time we've been gone. i'm not even sure if [gray] or Ari (auburn) even know about this blog yet
Looking back on old system maps and similar things is really interesting and kinda funny. Soooo much confusion about everything. It's impressive how far we've untangled this mess, but there's still a long way ahead of us.
System Mapping!
What this is: The act of mapping out the subsystems, alters + alter roles or timelines to get a more cohesive understanding of your system as a whole.
We've made four separate renditions of a system map throughout our discovery and the most recent doesn't really convey what we want to it anymore. So we thought it would be time to make a new one!
Each bubble represents a seperate subsystem that each have communication barriers between them though they all have equal access to Rose's Room (the inner world).
Sophron and Magdelana sit outside of the subsystems watching over from afar. These are alters that almost never front or communicate except when absolutely necessary.
This is the guide to our System Map. A headcount of 59 may seem like an extreme amount but it's important to note many of the alters do not front at all and those outside of their subsystem cannot communicate with them. However they still do exist, they only front when/if needed or there is a positive trigger.
An Epilogue: Our system may be large and fictive heavy but it's important to remember that system's are formed initially from severe childhood trauma to help the child survive said trauma. Which means that even in adulthood every alter that is created by the brain, fictive or not, has a specific purpose of why. Everything has an explanation - even if some may not seem so clear.
Alternative System Mind Mapping Method for Communication
[DISCLAIMER: This is not a professional or scientifically or anything really backed method, this is something coming solely from peer / personal experience.]
In regards to an anon ask earlier, I was thinking about it and one of the ways we've approached improving communication - particularly internal - in a way that is a lot less prone to flooding or dealing with trauma or anything too overwhelming - is by approaching it following the concept of Memory Webs
I haven't read up on them recently, but "Memory Webs" were a thing that our AP Psychology teacher in highschool made us do because the AP Psych test was term / jargon heavy. Memory in the human brain has been shown to be HEAVILY associative and the ability to remember and connect things tends to rely on following a "web" of connected topics, ideas, concepts etc from one idea to the next.
So in our AP Psych class, she gave us these GIANT books for Vocabulary Webs that we had to slowly work on, each of which required 6 other vocab words / related concepts, a summarized definition, and an image to represent it. By doing this, you added 6 cues to recall the word (increasing the chance you'd remember it), a visual cue, an episodic memory of working on it, and a definition - all in all improving how connected the word is to other concepts in your brain and making it easier to recall it.
I personally like to look at DID and our parts in a similar manner sometimes where the large issue is that a lot of the nodes in the web of associations are either disconnected or connected through a hard-to-find and/or small chain. In that sense, parts struggle to be held together because they are not associated concepts. It's hard to reach other parts because the dissociative walls (which in our unsubstantiated opinion is less a 'wall' and more so a lack of reinforced neural connections, so I would call them dissociative caverns) keep associations from forming
As a result, alternative to more traditional ways of mapping your system and parts, a method I've liked to internally visualize systems and navigating system dynamics is through a memory web manner. (I actually have never done it physically cause the Ray part of my brain - also the most prominent part writing this rn - rarely liked to front if he didn't have to and did a lot of stuff internally)
Here's a bit of a breakdown using six of our parts if any of you want to try it out.
We personally like it because it strips a lot of trauma and stress off of it and makes it a lot more of a positive and present engaging activity. For the purposes of this, I'll be using the free online app of Milanote cause we've used it before for OC associative webs and I think it'll do fine enough. (Honestly it actually might just be a good way to log alter information now that I'm looking at it if you are at a place in recovery where keeping track of that physically helpful)
So we can start by dropping down the parts we want to include in the form of boards
So from here, we have a bunch of disconnected parts. However, we find that a lot of these parts have things that mean a lot to them, that illicit a strong emotion or reaction from them.
Some parts may lack it more than others (often in our case trauma holders and/or trauma locked parts) and that's okay and to be expected. This is a visualization method and if there isn't much connecting a part that is 100% okay.
For demonstration sake, I will now add bubbles around each part of things that were pretty early apparent that each individual liked.
Also for the purposes of how I know our system works and how I plan to do this, I am actually moving Riku to the center and you will all see why Riku is such an S tier center point with this model
So you can see some connections forming.
Some key things you can take from this visual that also applied to earlier stags of how we connected
Lucille and Riku are and have always been pretty darn connected, they go back as one of the longest duos and were split almost as a pair to deal with academics
Chunn and Ray have a very shared interest of "I don't want to do anything leave me alone"
XIV literally was just a piece of shit early on and didn't have any immediate HARD connections with anyone largely because he never was interested in actually engaging in things he liked in a positive way as his "favorite emotion" at the time was "being pissed off"
Lin - an originally trauma stuck / loop - is very very poorly associated with anything that isn't overtly trauma related (and that is saying something cause Vocaloid is trauma related) and thus has very few connections to other parts
So looking at this though, there are a few things that have some similarities between parts. What you can do is make plans to try to foster the interests that you do have and try to generalize it a bit more to also encompass what interests other parts have. So lets engage in hobbies a little more - explore a few concepts that mean a lot to parts independently - and find some more generalized version of those hobbies
(forgot to add easy listening to Ray's and "only wearing monochrome*" to XIV's earlier) (*there are a lot of nuances and caveats)
Damn, look at that. It's messy and ugly to have in a 2D form. I absolutely hate it, this would be so impossible with our whole system. But HEY, it's very connected - and that's the goal.
Compared to the previous one, you can see how easily it can be for one part's interests to start to drift into another. Because they are largely and strongly associated features to each part, they are a lot more accessible when engaging in their shared / associated connections and interests which makes it easier for the them to stay together near the front, stay associated with one another, and work with and communicate with one another.
Of course anyone following this blog goes "Where tf is Birds" and that I left out because it would ruin the point of the web as it actually is one of our traditional "you are around the system a lot? okay pick a bird" which serves to 1) be a fun system culture thing 2) be a means of welcoming a part in and 3) helps establish a foundational connection; we do the same with music but with music its a lot more elaborate and I probably wont explain it for other reasons.
But overtime, by fostering interests that were already present and encouraging parts to broaden and generalize their specific interest a bit, you end up with a lot of overlapping associations that can greatly improve internal communication, co-fronting ability, and just general fluidity and easy of moving around the brain web.
It becomes a good way of trying to figure out what you can do to encourage and help build connections and associations between parts by seeing where things are similar / could have more overlap (combat and martial arts, different types of fashion, different types of music, different appreciation for arts, taking over the world, yada yada yada)
And you wanna know the coolest thing? When you step back from the whole web you can see certain things appear that stand out the most and have some of the most connections.
If you ever intend to go to Final Fusion, those are the things that will likely be the most prominent traits of your whole self
For us? [REDACTED BIRDS for the point of the demonstration], Music, Fashion, Taking over the World, Recovery and Healing, Buddhism, Martial Arts, Arts in general - they're all some of our largest traits that persist in almost all forms as individual parts, partially fused parts, and fully fused parts.
And the BEST part? Doing this didn't require us to touch trauma at all.
Of course in recovery that will come up cause PTSD doesn't ask permission, but its a very low stress way to help improve internal communication and engagement with one another.
Headspace Mapping!
In our headspace (The Lands of Bly), we have two planets.
The Overworld is larger and more Earth-like. The Heaviside is smaller but also more magical/supernatural.