You guys ever think...Earth might be the universe culinary masterpiece?...like you got Yautja's coming in secret to eat some mcdonals or...some pozole from the restaurant?...like cybertronians or mcb always seeing these aliens coming to earth in discuises to partake in their favorite cuisine?...some even becoming ADDICTS to the simple pleasure of instant ramen...or a good old cup of coffee
So, one day, brainstorm or other scientists managed to upgrade their holoforms ENOUGH to be able to taste and digest human food...and i think it goes like how newborn babies try solid food for the first time-
Case and point...poor tailgate trying icecream for the FIRST time went like
Y/n*Smiles holding a simple vanilla icecream for him*Dont eat too much too fast~
Tailgate*Tries a small bite, surprised by the temperature, then savours it, and eyes bulged out and grabs your hand holding the dessert and mushes it on to his mouth*!?!?!
Other Liason*Holding his back and cackles*T-TAILGATE LET GO!
Y/n*Seeing him try to eat more even if he gets dirty*T-TAILGATE!BREATH CYCLONUS HELP-...
Other liaison*Sees her own dessert is now gone and sees Cyclonus is avoiding looking at her*...
Cyclonus*Blushing as his whole mouth is covered in whipped cream and ice cream as his Sunday bowl is so clean there was not even a spot*...
-Meanwhile on the table next to them-
Mcb!Yn*Blinks seeing your humanoid cardbots in pain from brainfreeze*...
Shadow X*Holding his head and whines*AAAAAH, DEATH IS UPON US! I CAN'T FEEL MY MOUTH!?
Heavy Iron*Just finished his ice cream cake, smashes the plate on the floor*I like this! Another!?-...oh
Yuri*Who came in with 10 burgers for each and every one of the bots but glares at heavy iron*Clean.that.up.youngman...
Buffalo*Gasps in awe seeing his burger is in the shape of a heart with flags, smiles as Yuri puts him a bib along kiss on the forehead*Thank you, Mrs Yuri!
Phoenix fire*Holding his head and whines*I-I Been betrayed by the opposite of f-fire...
Y/n*Coming downstairs from your old home, yawning, you head to the kitchen and get ready to start the day with the usual coffee only...to see it's empty along with your morning sweet bread*What the f-...are you fucking
Ratchet passed out on the sofa with crumbs all over his face and shirt, your favorite coffee mug in his hand, and a chicken leg on the other with a big chunk bitten off
Y/n: Not even Judas was this much of a hypocrite...
Y/n*Patting your cons backs and then seeing Tarn's own holoavatar crying*Hon what's wrong-
Tarn*Eating Pizza as his first food for the first time, tears running down his face*L-life ish bea-ifuh...
Rest of the Djd Nodding as they eat and their fill with a bit of cola...which took you awhile to tell them "No, it's not mud water with bubbles"...
----------------------------------At a Maid Cafe------------------------------
Maid!Waitress*Serving you and probably the most rugged, retired commando-looking old man, along with the most man? Wearing a mask, he looks like some cyberpunk fanatic, a strawberry parfait and a big beer, and a kid's jumbo burger and fries with onion rings, Commando guy, him the bear and you kid jumbo burger and the cyberpunk guy the parfait *Enjoy masters~
Y/n & Megatron & Sounwave:...
You both switch the items to the correct person, you take a drink of the big, Soundwave the jumbo burger meal, and Megatron the cutesy parfait, all three of you enjoying your items
Maid!Waitress*Saw that and thinks of that one meme*"Moe gap..."
A lil transformers mtmte x brooklyn 99 I saw on tt to make you laugh: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS5xX382c/
Ngl I can see Rodimus pulling this bs and the fact it works is why Ultra Magnus keeps letting him be a part of this tbh 😅
Not Scavengers but if you ever do get around to writing Tesarus in the Soft Au then my left kidney is yours lol
Stay hydrated (with water) and healthy... and that includes eating more than once a day if possible... (this is coming from someone working in healthcare and know this comes a place of care, worry, professional opinion, and personal experience... please eat, Revel 😭😭)
🤣 I promise I’m alright. I feel better than I did, but I’m just leery of eating at work in case it makes me sick to my stomach.
Soft
Tesarus x Reader
• First Tarn, then Helex. Maybe these little organics just have no self preservation? Makes him wonder what would happen to one if he put them into the drum of his chassis with the teeth going. He’s guessing he’d get a slurry and probably smacked by Nickel. There’s not much to these creatures, so they’d have to just liquefy. Rumbling in amusement as he eyes a couple of the organics walking past, his claspers flex. Wanting to seize one and drag it to himself. To play. Might as well if he can’t have any real fun.
• Adjusting your backpack, you keep going over your list. Playing liaison for the supply department and the caretakers hasn’t exactly gone how you’d expected. Mostly, you’ve somehow become the one they like to air their grievances to. Like they think you’re affiliated with HR or anyone that can do anything about their assigned mechs being unruly. How many times have you heard someone whining about their alien being grabby? Hard to feel bad for them when they make more than you do, though. They got a bonus just to deal with grabby aliens. Personally? You want nothing to do with the Cybertronians. Skin prickling as you spot a group ahead with a creepy, alien dog, you stay close to the far wall to jog past.
• Glancing at Kaon fussing over the Pet, he rumbles and looks away. It’s not that he’s lonely. He’s not. Bored, though? Never been so bored in his whole life and he can’t stand it. And he spots an organic hurrying past. Helex and Tarn both got approached. Both are being courted as laughable as it is. Doesn’t care about having a weird alien conjunx, but what he does care about? That they get some entertainment and he doesn’t.
• “You’ll do.” Barely have time to register the rough, growling voice is talking to you before servos grab your backpack and your feet leave the ground. Head turning, you stare at the sharp, jagged teeth lining the inner cavity of Mr. Sentient Woodchipper and you start struggling to unbuckle the front clip of your back pack. Might break a leg in the fall, but maybe you can drag yourself away from this nightmare. “Where do you think you’re going to go?” He laughs, the sound rumbling through you as those teeth whir to life to make you freeze. ‘I’m not helping you pick chunks out if you stick weird stuff in there,’ the smallest of the aliens growls and your captor clears his vents dramatically.
• “Where’s your sense of fun?” He demands, rumbling when you manage to undo the straps on your bag and he extends his arm, a leg lifting and you bounce off his knee to go rolling. And immediately scramble to your tiny feet and run with a scream. Watching you go, he tosses the bag at Nickel’s peds. “See what you did? It got away.” Following, his claspers shift restlessly. Wonders if you realize he’d stopped you from falling inside his chipper. Doubts it. It’s no fun if the game ends too soon, though. “Here, little human. I just want to play.”
scenario: a group of psychopaths unwittingly become parents to an abandoned newly built found in mysterious circumstance
note: i love writing the DJD's crew dynamic so much, its not even funny
prev: part 2 next: part 4
WHAT NOW?
summary: you wake up sooner than expected, they realize that they were so caught up in the future that they forgot about what they should do at the present
You stir from your temporary stasis on the medical berth, a result of six distinct voices disturbing your rest from outside… wherever you are. The voices were odd. Nothing like the silence of Clemency you were so used to now. The sounds are similar to the ones you heard when you saw a large thing in the sky, it startled you; unnaturally sharp voices and some soothing… others low but all spouting gibberish— you couldn't comprehend what they spoke. All you know is that your frame hurts and you are somewhere strange. The bright lights from the ceiling, it's unnaturally bright. Your sensitive optics struggle to adjust to it as you slowly rise, gently turning onto your side from laying down on your back. You sit up and…
Where are you?
A small panic swells up in you. Why does your frame hurt? You distinctly remember the face of a mech with red lines on his faceplates and some purple mech with a funny expressionless face looking at you.
But the room.. it feels oddly nice. It's cold in an enjoyable way. Your optics scan the room and it's many berths. These are comfortable to lay down on. Nothing like Clemency. The floor is so clean. The ceilings look nice too. Curious optics observing every detail on the ceiling, almost awestruck. Your intake is agape.
What an unnaturally beautiful place.
You decide to get on your pedes, slowly. Gasping a bit, your stabilizers feel so wobbly but you manage to get your balance. Slow steps turning into gentle strides. Unyielding curiosity telling you to run around and see more, even if your frame hurts. Even if your HUD has some funny red blinking. What does it say? Who knows. So many funny symbols to stare at. Your servos run over the material of the berth. It's a nice feeling, everything here feels nice. It's not like the rough rocks on the surface of Clemency or the funny looking statues of bots spread across the place with strange reddish-brown flakes on them. Maybe someone put you there thinking you’re a statue, that's what you always thought because something in you kept telling you that you weren’t from that strange place, although it's the only place you knew.
You continue to touch and feel whatever you can. You see a tray with a lot of metal things, tools. Almost like what some of those statues on Clemency had in their servos. Curiously, you hold one of these in your little servo. Figuring out how they work as you pull and push the handles. The metal of it all feels so smooth.. You gently put it back. The berths are hard to climb back onto. Everything in this place was big which didn't make sense because the tools were small. What a funny place.
The noises seem to get louder, gibberish you cannot comprehend ringing through your audials. Servos clutching onto sensitive audios with a frustrated grimace, it caught you off guard. You recover from how startled you are and decide to make your first decision.
You want to see the source of these funny noises and somehow put it on mute.
It's definitely annoying you, the small grimace on your derma as you walk up with misplaced confidence to the entrance of the large room with many nice surfaces, likely to lay down on. Peeking through a corner.
All that confidence you had deflated near instantly.
These mech were HUGE. They weren't statues but they were moving! And they had so many different shapes and sizes. Definitely menacing looking.
That one has a hole in his chassis! Another one has funny coils on his back and a turbine in his chassis, he has no optics! How unsettling. There's some funny looking animal by his side. The second shortest one has a faceguard. Another one has four arms! Oh, look, someone you're a bit taller than… A bit relieving.
Both wonder and fear grips your spark, they intimidate you but heighten your curiosity all the more. You peek and watch, unable to understand what it is they speak of but intrigued by these strangers and their strange appearances, despite the intimidating aura that emanates from them. They look nothing like the statues. They move like you do. Your presence remains undetected as you watch them.
As they remain blissfully unaware of the little spectator, the five members and the unofficial medic continue bickering amongst themselves over the basics. Can the sparkling stay in your own hab? If not, who's hab is the little thing going to stay in? What in Megatron’s name are they going to fuel you with? Who's going to educate the newly-built? Tarn can't expect a supersoldier from scratch. The DJD was not dealing with a MTO here.
There were a lot more complexities than he'd like to admit there were.
It started off as a civil conversation, like all of their scuffles do. Until Vos said that the little one should be in Helex's hab which had everyone collectively yelling no. It is the last place for a sparkling. In fact, none of their rooms are fit for a sparkling. All of their rooms have some or the other kind of torture devices, weapons, traps that look like they came out of SAW (credits to Vos)... All except Tarn and Nickel. Nickel's room was too small and she backed off saying she's the one that has to teach the rest of the crew how to tend to a sparkling despite being none the wiser. It wouldn't be fair.
All optics are now on Tarn who, in all honesty, hates the thought of having to share his space with anyone. The lack of torture devices in the DJD leader's hab was solely because he claimed himself to be a more ‘sophisticated and superior mech’ which clearly has brought an unexpected issue for a totally unpredictable situation.
But of course, he was not going to cave in so easily. Leadership be damned. He's supposed to be the mature one. Supposed to.
And that's how the six of them ended up here bickering— each of them presenting and listing a hundred reasons to each other as to why you, the sparkling, shouldn't be with them, as if this was a court case and they were all on trial, as vehemently as one does when fighting against having to pay child support.
“No way in Pit! That little thing is NOT going to be in my hab. What if I squish it on accident?” Helex is adamant, he does not want to lose his cannibal-cooler privileges. Probably the one time they don't need to prize a response out of his vocalizer.
“Then you should just watch where you step because it's certainly not going to be in mine, I already have The Pet!” Kaon scoffs, servos crossing over his chassis, standing on his own ground and as if The Pet could read its master's processor, it nuzzles itself against his pede to prove a point. Kaon looks down and flashes the sparkeater an almost warm smile for a moment and a definite smug one to the others as he looks back at them.
“Doesn't count. You asked to keep The Pet!” Tesarus snaps back. Was it truly a burden for him if he literally asked to keep it? Kaon grimaces. Meanwhile, Vos keeps to himself. Still somewhat salty about being shut down so quickly after trying to be a minor inconvenience to Helex's life
Vos mumbles to himself, almost as if the thought was amusing to him. What a way it would be to go out. He's not even included in this conversation about a potential roommate for… obvious reasons.
“Ah yes, keep a newly-built in a room with a half-tamed spark-chewing turbofox. Genius.” Nickel scowls, tone dripping with sarcasm as the minibot rolls her blue optics. She probably would've slapped them if it weren't for the frame she had. Kaon looks a bit offended, a servo over the generator within his chassis. The voices merely overlap each other and Tarn's thin patience gets thinner than Rodimus’ waistline. Perhaps in another world, they were Megatron's lawyers instead of enforcers. Their leader gets more agitated.
“I can assure you that The Pet isn't half-”
“ENOUGH.” Tarn bellows, his voice a low pitch. His outlier ability activates on instinct from his frustration reaching a near bubbling point.
You don't know what happened or how it happened but your chassis suddenly hurts, even more than it already does. Your spark feels heavy, your stabilizers feel weak, it makes you fall into your knee hinges, tiny servos grasping the floor. Unwittingly putting yourseIf away from the wall you were peeking out of. It's a sharp pain unlike any other, it goes as fast as it came but it makes you let out a choked cry from just how much it aches, high pitched and loud.
As the pain goes away, you stand back up. But apparently, your cry was loud enough for all six to crack their neck supports to look at you, optics all wide. They're caught off guard for once. You meet their surprised faceplates and instinctively stiffen, frame poised. Servos placed in a near defensive position. You feel some sort of embarrassment mixed in with the natural fear of the unknown.
Meanwhile, all six of them had the exact same thought.
‘What the frag should they do now?’
All of them were so caught up in thinking about the future, namely what they had to do after you woke up and your life from that point on that they forgot to consider what they should do when you wake up. Not to mention, Nickel didn't think you'd wake up so quickly considering the damage on your frame, definitely stronger than you looked.
The Pet lets out something akin to a bark, a sharp, screeching robotic bark and it makes you step back. The fear growing on your distressed faceplates. All of them collectively snap out of their temporary state of ‘what the frag do we do?’.
“Hush.” He quietly keeps The Pet behaved, it lets out a low whine and goes behind its master's stabilizers as if it were keeping away from your sight.
For once, they seem to take no pleasure at all in another's fear. Evident by how cautiously Tarn moves towards you, as if he were approaching a mech infected with the Rust Plague. He takes initiative.
Mindlessly, others follow.
And, well, seeing six strangers (five of which are huge) along with some sort of animal following behind is not the most friendly welcome. Especially to a newly-built who's gone through Primus knows what. The building trepidation heightens, and you take a step back. Away from the approaching strangers. The alarms go off in Tarn's helm. Perceptive enough to see you feel somewhat intimidated but failing to see what your frame is screaming at you to do.
“Now, wha-” Before he could even finish or come anywhere remotely close to you, you make a dash for it with a frightened cry.
The six of them stand there silently, The Pet sitting behind Kaon. They definitely did not expect that. Or expected you to be that fast.
Vos cracks his helm at Tarn's way who internally curses himself for his lack of consideration with an exasperated sigh. The frustration getting worse, this was the biggest helmache he's had in vorns. He's not had a solarcycle this bad for a long time now. Usually, the perfectionist leader of the DJD is never underprepared or sloppy at a task. Funny how the simpler things are where his team seems to struggle with. Of course it would be that frightening… Primus knows how long it's been since you've seen another alive mech.
“...we need to find the newly-built. Spread out and search.”
What someone is doesn't really bother him; organic or not, if you can't be killed, then he may as well enjoy your properties
You're not worth even trying to kill, not his usual way, because human fluids get really caked on, and he doesn't want to clean up stuck-on flesh
Kaon will never get over how infuriating it is that you can just...live through his strongest shocks
They don't even incapacitate you for that long; a week, and you'll be up and at it again
Instead, he's focusing on what he can do to make your life a living hell: restraints, isolation, treating you like shit
Oh well, he'll get over it eventually
Nickel hates organics a lot, so she doesn't mind watching your torture even if it does little to you mentally
But, eventually, enough is enough for her
If it's really not doing anything, and they won't get rid of you, she will put up with you
She is interested in monitoring your mental state and determining whether it can revert to its initial emotional state
Tarn just doesn't have time for these sorts of things
His voice can't control non-mechanical forms, so it's not as if he can do anything but shoot you or get creative
He's fine with keeping you around for research purposes, and of anyone, he's the least concerned with your existence so long as you don't get in the way of anything
Once his team gets bored, like they always do, he'll throw you away again
Tesarus is bothered, only because you're easy to step on, and it's extremely difficult for him to clean all the nooks and crannies of his peds
You're not that interesting, you're easy to kill and shred and take forever to put yourself back together
If you want to hang around him, fine, he'll talk if you ask the right questions, too
Vos finds you most intriguing, though that is of his scientific nature to want to study
You're also not as small compared to him, so he can really get a good look at how your flesh pulls itself back together after being torn and ripped
It's fascinating, and you've become a frequenter of his lab so he can forcefully collect samples and try to recreate the technology with Cybertronian metals
Author's Note - These guys r a little mean and evil but thats cool...thank you for requesting!
Image shows a screenshot of an anonymous ask. The ask reads: “I recently started reading the IDW comics and thought I’d give it a go. My request for you if you’re ok with it, is the DJD picking up an unknown signal. It turned out to be from an unaligned fembot who had been in stasis for a very long time. When woken up by the DJD and Nickel, she’s not afraid of them as she has no idea who they are. She calmly asks them what Autobots and Decepticons are. And who is Megatron? She’s kind and respectful but has no idea a war took place”
im saving the ask in my inbox bc i really wanna write a drabble or something for it. just headcanons for now but this is a great idea
the headcanons kind of turned more into guidelines for me for when i decide to write an actual story lmfao
DJD finding an unaligned fembot
When they first pick up the signal, they don’t think much of it.
The whole reason they go is because the next bot on the list is far away, and they’re bored as shit
They eventually get to an old (like Vos kind of old) ship and determine that as the source of the signal, but no one is inside
Everyone kind of goes their own ways to find the force of the blip but keeps in contact with one another to avoid an ambush
Tes eventually finds you. You’re hooked up to a stasis pod, and calls the others over.
Tes wakes you up totally by accident. He got bored and starting fiddling with shit and pressing buttons
Then you fall out of the pod and scare the shit out of him
I’m absolutely STUCK to the headcanon that tes has a really high pitched scream and gets mocked relentlessly by the others about it
Anyway, the DJD get there just in time to hear that lovely sound /sar
Most of them just kind of stare as you slowly come to, groaning while you pick yourself up
They whisper amongst themselves as you do so, and stop as soon as you ask who they are
Like you can’t be serious
Are you?
Tarn stutters as he introduces himself and his team, purely out of shock that you don’t know who they are.
He doesn’t yet mention what they do, he understands enough to tread carefully from here on out
Helex (being Helex) attempts to intimidate you (or starts) before being reprimanded by Nickel
Nickel insists they get you to the Peaceful Tyranny. You’re clearly woozy, you can barely stand, now’s not the time to interrogate the poor thing
Tarn and Nickel try to be at least decent. Tarn is a firm believer that respect and kindness should always be shown as a good first impression.
This applies even towards Autobots. The only time this doesn’t apply is towards traitors, though the rest of the DJD are reluctant in following these methods
Anyway, Tarn demands the rest of the DJD to at least try to show some hospitality toward you while he and Nickel figure out wtf is going on
The DJD are listening in while Tarn and Nickel converse with you
Buttering you up with simple questions like what’s your designation, where are you from, do you know where you are, stuff like that
Before finally asking your faction
The silence is almost deafening when you ask what an autobot or deception is.
The process of explaining the war to you is very delicate.
They all understand if you’re told everything that happened all at once, you’ll run screaming from them.
So they explain it in a way similar to how Cyclonus explained it to Tailgate, though Nickel ensures it stays at least somewhat neutral
As neutral it’s gonna get when being explained by a bunch of bots who literally worship Megatron like a god
When you ask what their role is, the best you’re gonna get is “punishing traitors”. They can’t tell you everything just yet
But just that gives you the gist of what they do, leaving you to imagine what they aren’t telling you
Y/n*Putting on an apron you bought in the galactic market, found some human stuff, and smiles, getting ready to cook yourself a good meal in the electric stove brainstorm and Percy made for you, smiles seeing Rodimus arrive*Hey, Roddy!
Rodimus*Sees the apron and reads it, instantly grins*...
Y/n*Knows that smile and sees him approaching you*...
Y/n*Makes a run for it, chucking towards him the apron*!?!
Rodimus*Chasing after you*IT'S THE RULES Y/N!IT'S THEEEEE RULES! IT'S THE RULES!-
As you run, You passed by Tailgate, Rewind and whirl who see you rinning from rodimus but he tells them about the apron and now you got FOUR AUTOBOTS Chasing after you to kiss you...and THAT day the bots realize how much HARDER it is to catch a human who doenst want to be caught, from getting into vents, sliding under pedes and making it to the elivator
Y/n*Pants and sees tailgate and rewind cornering you and drive in to grab you for kisses, only for you to jump over a table, making them crash into each other helm first*
Tailgate & Rewind: AAACK!?
You run up to the medical room and run to hide behind Ratchet. He looks at you, worried, and sees Rodimus, Whirl, and the two mini-bots and starts to lecture them, making them back. You think it's finally over until...
Whirl*Holds the kiss the cook apron to show ratchet*IT'S THE RULES DOC!
Ratchet*Glares at the four then facepalms until he looks down at you with a smirk*...
Y/n*Blinks and shocked gasp, and once again you sprint away from them and the other med bots as they joined the group in getting you*"He's one of them-"
Rodimus*Is now speaking on the comm speakers of the ship, ' THE HUMAN WORE AN APRON THAT SAYS KISS THE COOK, I REPEAT KISS THE COOK BY HUMAN CULTURE, RULES WE MUST NOW KISS THEM!"
The human currently:
When you finally get saved by the ONE Autobot, Ultra Magnus takes you into his office, hands you some water, gives you some cookies and puts you on his desk. You rest up and slump down to sit on the edge
Ultra magnus*Is patting your head and goes around his desk as you smile at him, he seems to pull something out from the cabinet and puts on the you "Kiss the cook" apron. He lets out a small, short laugh at your shocked and dumbfounded face of defeat*...
Rodimus*Comes down out from under his desk with a triumphant smile*
Whirl, Tailgate & Rewind*Appear at the door with glee that their plan works*!!!
Y/n*You see behind them a line of known and unknown cybertronians, Swerve, Brainstorm & Percy, Rung, Ravage, The scaveners, DJD, Megatron, MEGATRON?.... THE DJD!?*....
scenario: a group of psychopaths unwittingly become parents to an abandoned newly built found under mysterious circumstance
note: i will make specific chapters surrounding one member at a time because i think more underrated characters like Helex, Vos & Tesarus needs more to flush out their characters. there's very little content on Helex & Tesarus specifically so i'm gonna have to make shit up with hcs
prev: part 3 next: part 5
MEETING HELEX
summary: you get lost but then fall run into the smelter himself
You’re not sure where you are but you ran as soon as you saw the mech with a purple mask approach you. Tall and intimidating, he's bigger than most of the statues back… at that place. You were certain he was a threat from just how fearsome he looked; while you may have not known anything about this strange new world you are put into, your instincts never falter. In fact, surviving out alone only seemed to have made them more prominent. The long corridors you run through feel endless, cold and clean in a near pristine way that you've never really seen before. The floor is sparkling clean, the walls are kind of bland, regular metallic grey The ventilation system and air condition making the place so much colder than you're used to...
Now that you think about it, your frame looks pretty clean too. In a way it's never been. You can almost see your reflection with how shiny the plating on your arms and stabilizers are. You're afraid you might go blind from it.
But you have bigger things to worry about than your reflection. You've run around this place and every hallway seems nearly identical to every other, a giant maze you're trapped in with no way out in sight. You're lost, it hits you. And you're unsure on what to do, the feeling is almost overwhelming as it settles in. The doors to the room won't open, the funny keypads keep glowing red each time you try to open it by banging some random combination. It's frightening. The sounds, the lights, the mechs… Where were you? You try not to jump at every noise but your keen audio receptors catch up on something. But the heavy, thumping noise you've come to recognise as pede steps spurs fear within your tiny spark.
You look around, tense and poised. Survival protocols kicking in overdrive. There's some sort of funny hole within a wall, big enough for you to fit. A ventilation shaft, not like you really know what it is called but you attempt to climb up the wall. Pit. The walls are too smooth. Your talons scratch up the pristine metallic walls of the hallway. However, you persist and manage, barely. Crawling up the duct and peeking down below from it, if you were to fall from this height, you'll surely break something. Not like you really thought about that right now as you observe the mech walking into the hallway.
It's the one with four servos! You try not to gasp and succeed at it as you keenly watch the mech, now with a closer view and he looks all the more intimidating. Crimson optics like yours but with these lines going down them, it didn't look very friendly. You stay as quiet as you can.
Meanwhile, Helex is done with this slag. The search so far has been fruitless and he's tempted to sit down and fuel on some energon treats. The desolate halls of The Peaceful Tyranny are loud with silence, everyone has spread out in search of this little miscreant so it's not like Helex would get caught. Though if Tarn did catch him, it wouldn't look too pretty. But could anyone blame him? He gets bored searching for who knows how long now (it's not been that long). Helex stands around, debating on whether or not he should search anymore.
Honest to Megatron, Helex usually takes what his leader says with utmost seriousness— executing Tarn's words with precision and grace. As graceful as an overgrown smelter can be, at least. He is sincere in everything he does for the Decepticon Cause but this has to be the first time in... well, ever where the smelter has drawn the line. They were torturers, executioners, enforcers of the Decepticon Code. Not… sparkling-sitters! They were not caretakers. Neither were they mentor material. And they don't need a psychological analysis to tell them otherwise, the title of ‘DJD’ was enough to convey the sheer depravity they were capable of.
Helex wonders if Tarn even knows what he's actually doing and that's a first. Does he know? Didn't feel like it. But again, everyone in the team is uncertain regarding is decision to keep the thing, he knows that because he can read the room rather well but doubt is unbecoming of a Decepticon. Helex pushes the thought away as it came. The sparkling was a Decepticon, manufactured Decepticon and it's not committed hearsay, blasphemy or broken the code in any way and how is one to expect a newly built to fend for itself after being abandoned on Clemency of all places? He almost feels bad for the thing. Helex wants to punch the irresponsible fragger who's dumped a sparkling there so badly, not for dumping a defenceless, innocent tiny thing like yourself out in a Decepticon graveyard but for putting him and his team in this mess.
Even then… Why do they have to force unwilling participants into Tarn's ‘group parenting’ passion project? Putting aside the fact that Tarn would probably eviscerate him if he asks this to Tarn's faceplates, why in Megatron's name couldn't he just take care of the thing himself if he wanted it that badly!? Why involve Helex? He can't believe it but for the first time, he finds himself agreeing with Vos about dumping the little one into a recycling conveyor. No hard feelings but they aren't cut off for parenting; no matter what fancy label Tarn puts on it, at the end of the solarcycle, it was parenting. Plain and simple.
Kaon__::Helex, come in. Any findings?::
Helex holds back a long sigh as a message from Kaon pings on the mainline DJD comm-link. Thankfully, not his personal line.
Helex__::No.::
Kaon__::Okay.::
Helex didn't like to talk a lot. Simple and short answers were his thing, even if they were a little dry. He was not very sociable, preferred the quiet if anything. It's not that he hated company, he just had his own thing. Though a newly-built was anything but quiet and that did upset him. This whole thing upsets him.
Vos__::Wat iff da spahrkling in wents?::
“Primus…”
Helex sighs out as he looks at the message. Trying to read a message from Vos was like trying to decode ancient Cybertronian. Futile and painful. They don't have a Primal Vernacular language setting update yet for him so he has to message in Neocybex. Not like any of them could really read Primal Vernacular but the translator option helped. In Vos’ usual arrogance, he refused to use the translator when trying to comm them. Not because he wanted to improve his skills at Neocybex but because he said he wanted to be a pain, as usual— Helex suspects that this is just a farce to keep them from assuming that Vos just doesn't know how to spell words in the Neocybex script. But Helex will not be fooled.
He scrunched faceplates as he made sense of what Vos said, spectating the conversation flashing on his HUD.
Tesarus__::I feel as if it's highly unlikely the newly built could climb up into a vent. Given it is injured and needs recovery.::
Kaon__::He's got a point. But who knows what it's capable of? Vos, you should go check the vents for the sparkling.::
Meanwhile, Vos from the eastern hallways of The Peaceful Tyranny looks at the message in utter disgust. Like Pit he would! He loves crawling in the vents when they tell him not to crawl in the vents! He's not doing it for some newly built.
Oh. He really went there. Helex snorts, at least Vos seems to understand punctuation.
Kaon__::Ahem. I'll let you know that The Pet is still far more civilized than you will ever be.
Tesarus__::To be fair Vos, you can't even spell pet::
Vos is typing…
Helex knows well from where he's standing that Vos wouldn't comply with that or tolerate Kaon and Tesarus jumping him like this, a small semblance of a smile on his stone cold faceplates as he reads the ensuing argument with glee at Vos’ predicament.
Frag it.
He's got to sit down to read this. This was too good not to miss out on. Comm arguments usually get broken up by a very annoyed Tarn after getting his communicator pinged to oblivion— usually by sending a voice message with his wonderful outlier ability surprising them into quiet submission so this means Helex rarely gets to watch the others bicker, a shame. It makes for good entertainment.
Helex gives in to what he frame desires and takes a seat down in the hall, broad backstruts leaning against the wall. He mindlessly takes a seat right beneath the vent from which you're watching him, unaware of your presence. You're not in range of his motion sensors, even if you were, you're staying deathly still. A skill you've picked up on during your stay on Clemency. Your curious optics observing him from above with intrigue, you can tell he's amused by something with the way he has this smile on his face. You lean in a little closer to study him better.
Oh scrap.
Your tiny servos have damned you, they can't grip much or support your weight as you lean too much to the front while gripping onto the edge of the vent opening, only to fall right on top of Helex's helm and the bigger bot panics with a yelp. Not realizing that it's the very sparkling they've been searching for as he quickly gets up, his weapons systems online as he aims for where he sat. His armed servo dropping down as he realizes there's nothing there.
Oh Primus.
It's on him.
He tries to shake you off. Muttering curses you can't understand, he's still not realized that it's tbe exact same little miscreant he's been searching for this whole time. You yelp and hold onto the top of his helm, your tiny clawing digging in. Helex is… tall. Horrifically so. You feel like you've been chained on top of a rampaging streetlight with no way to get down. And you're not sure what to do.
Meanwhile, Helex stops his erratic movements as he realizes what… no, who's on his helm as tiny servos indent themselves to the metal of his helm. And…
He isn't sure what to do.
He just stands there for a moment. Contemplating his options. Should he message Tarn? Yes. He should. But it's not easy to lean his helm down to see the keypad of his communication with you literally on top of his helm. What if you fall? Nickel did say you're still injured. Not to mention, he is not going to have Tarn going off on him for hours, rambling about Helex being careless if you get hurt.
He's going to have to get you down first.
What a drag.
“Hey, kid.” He says gruffly, there isn't a hint of softness in his tone. His voice is like that of a furnace, deep but somewhat raspy. Maybe it's an effect of his vocalizer constantly heating up when he's in his smelter mode? Helex slowly raises his upper pair of servos up to bring you down but his large servos scare you, you cower down. Using your claws to anchor yourself, you gently crawl down to his back— it annoys and catches him off-guard. You're leaving tiny dents and scratches all over his frame! He's already hearing a mouthful from Nickel about frame maintenance!
“Hey!” There's a scolding tone to his voice, a warning. But it's not like he's allowed to hurt you here and you don't really know that. You can't even understand what he's saying! His voice scares you and you cower further down. Helex’s lower pair of servos have no hope of grabbing you.
The broadness his pauldrons fail him, Helex can't grab you from where you cling on his back like a Koala, his upper pair of larger servos blocked by the bulk of his own frame. Helex will admit, you know how to climb. He turns around and makes note of the wall, covered in small scratch marks— most likely from your tiny servos. You must've clawed your way up the wall to get up there… Helex looks up. That vent is rather high up too.
It's actually… impressive.
But right now he's got bigger things to worry about.
Now, he could just call Tarn. Message him and the others would be sure to follow. But with the way you're holding onto him, Helex is damn sure he looks ridiculous. Besides he could just… Message them through the comms while having you off of him. Perhaps this was some sort of punishment for laughing at Vos because he definitely would've laughed his aft off at this. Speaking of which, Vos and Kaon were still going at it in the group comms— already at 102 unread messages. Tarn must've had his notifications turned off because usually, by now, Tarn would interfere. Or Helex would have enough and beg them to shut up.
Helex sighs heavily. He takes his seat back on the floor, making sure not to lean against the wall lest your stabilizing servos get crushed under his weight. The smelter wouldn't want that and he wouldn't want Tarn breathing down his neck, again..
He thinks, wondering how in the name of Megatron's fusion cannon will he be able to get you off of him. Meanwhile, you curiously climb upwards, peering over his broad shoulders to look at his thoughtful expression.
“Kid, get off.” Helex commands, attempting to be softer but not really succeeding. He's not stupid— He knows you're afraid. He just has to make you… Not afraid of him which isn't proving to be easy given his position required for him to be as intimidating as a Decepticon can be. But intimidation doesn't seem to work with you, it was almost like you couldn't get what he was saying. At all.
Helex grumbles as you don't budge, crimson optics narrowing at you as his dermas purse into a thin line. He looks annoyed. His unfriendly face does nothing to help. Maybe he needed to be even softer.
“Please. Get off.” He swallows his pride quickly but the bitter after taste strikes him as he realizes it was in vain. You hadn't moved an inch. Helex's face hardens in annoyance, he's usually patient but for once, it's wearing thin. Again, its not everyday he has a kid clinging onto him like this...
“Aren't you just stubborn?”
The fact that you can't seem to understand a word leaving his vocalizer doesn't strike the giant smelter as you look at him clueless.
Looks like he's going to have to try a better way. He tries to grab you quickly with his upper pair of servos but Primus, you're fast. You crawl back to that spot on his back he can't reach and Helex grimaces.
He tried verbally, he tried physically... Violence is off the table…
What now?
Helex tries to think of a way. His HUD still flashing with unread messages by Kaon & Vos about the vents and The Pet… wait… The Pet.
A thought strikes him. Whenever The Pet doesn't do something Kaon wants it to do, he gives it an energon mini-cube. This was almost a daily occurrence during the first few solar cycle of his its domestication. While you're certainly not a pet and are capable of sentient thought, certainly you wouldn't turn down an opportunity to have a good energon treat? While he doesn't want to sacrifice them, he also doesn't want to show up with you latching on his back like a baby Koala with its mother.
As he sits down, Helex reaches for his subspace— reserved to keep his quick break snacks and store his trophies from hunts. He takes out a box and he takes note of how the rattling of the box has piqued your curiosity, looking over his shoulder plating to see what he's up to. Helex knows that you've been on Clemency for who knows how long isolated, a planet devoid of any civilisation. And the pinnacle of any civilization is good fuel.
He opens the box and takes out a green coloured cube— refined energon coated in beryllium paste and iron fillings. Helex makes sure that your curious optics are fixated on what he's doing, putting the cube in his intake. The action seemed to confuse you, you tilt your helm and continue to look at him curiously but he can also see the distrust. Helex gently puts one cube right by his shoulder, pretending to not watch as you keep looking at his face. Holding onto his pauldron with one servo and grabbing the other, your pedes lodged into his frame making more dents on his frame.
Your optics dart back to Helex, who's happily refuelling on more. You look back at the cube. The cube looks so much smaller in his giant servos in contrast to your much smaller ones, he can just toss one into his intake and swallow it as such but you'd probably need two bites. Your olfactory sensors can tell this is energon but it's… solid. Not solid in the same way it is on those statues back on Clemency. This isn't sticky or flakes.
And so, you trust your tanks.
And you're not left disappointed.
Helex suppresses a laugh when he sees how your optics widen at the taste of energon treats, quickly gobbling it up like there's no tomorrow. But alas, you're left in disappointment as there no longer any of that sweet metallic tang and crunch on your glossa, looking at your servo where the energon treat once was mere astro-seconds ago with a frown. Helex can't help but chuckle at that. So you liked energon treats, at least the two of you have something in common.
You look at him as you hear the sound of his chuckling, the fear no longer in your optics as you study him almost curiously up close. You can see another one of those delicious cubes in his servos and you try to reach out and grab it before he could stop you but—
“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” He clicks his glossa as he shakes his helm, pulling his servo away as your frown gets deeper. A look of pleading in your optics and dare he say, it was… cute. In a way which warmed his spark in a fuzzy sort of way, something he hadn't felt (or was even sure he could feel) in such a long time.
“If you want more, you're going to have to get off.” He says, pointing in front of him to put emphasis and it somehow registers in your processor. Without another word, you climb off of him. You tiny pedes reach the ground and leave Helex’s back in a trail of tiny dents and scratches which he's less than pleased about. Shyly approaching him, you're cautious. Must be your survival protocols, Helex figures.
“Good.” He uses his smaller pair of servos to hand over the cube to your even smaller extended servos, you're standing there like a homeless bot asking for charity during the Rust Age— Helex finds some humour in it and smiles, one of his larger servos gently pats your helm. Holy scrap, it envelops your entire helm! He's instantly reminded of how much smaller and fragile you are, Helex hasn't really been around any sparklings, ever. He's quick to draw away as a strange sense of… something stirs in his spark.
By then, you're done with that cube, extending your servo out for more. He raises an optical ridge at your action, getting what you want and Helex really didn't like sharing but he supposes he could begrudgingly make an exception for you.
With DJD members of your choice, what are your headcanons for how would they deal with a bot added to the list but not due to their own actions. This bot was once an elite Decepticon with a strong sense of honor, and one day they suddenly vanished following the death of their squad. They were seen sometime later with a group of Autobots, wearing their badge and not recognizing their former comrades. The DJD and Nickel find out the bot was captured by some shadier Autobots and had their entire memories wiped, to the point they never recall ever being a Decepticon. Would the bot still be executed or would the group attempt to restore their memories upon learning the truth?
Tarn [MTMTE]
- Tarn is here to enact justice, not to judge unfairly
- When they catch most people on the list, it is very clear they knew what was coming
- So the fact that you expected nothing, barely knew their name and didn't have memory past a million years or so, there was clearly an issue
- He is the first to step in before anything happens, ensuring you are taken into a proper living cell
- Because of what you think you know, you naturally object to being taken in by the murderous crew
- Every time Tarn brought you food, he would also come with a story of a warrior
- In reality he was just reading out field reports about you
- Slowly, and I mean very slowly, little chips began to flake at the alterations made to you
- Nightmares and dreams of your past plagued you, and every single one Tarn would have you detail for him
- When he confirmed each was just a memory, he knew it was working
- The leader wouldn't give up on you, especially not someone who deserved themselves back
Tesarus [MTMTE]
- You were someone Tesarus admired back in the war
- In fact you had inspired him to get to this point and to join the cause
- The weapon you pulled in defence was the very rotating weapon that made him choose his grinder
- The thought of abandoning you like this, or even worse; killing you, made him feel sick
- He managed to argue your case with Tarn, but was made to be in charge of taking care of you
- It saddened him to see what the Autobots had done to you, and infuriated him that they even laid their hands on his idol
- He is very possessive over you in that regard, but more to a protective way
- Eventually, Nickel found out that a connection cable could very jump start you back with the right memories
- Rightfully so, Tesarus offered himself to do so
- After all, he knew you best compared to the others, so he was able to give you quite a few key memories back
- While you were in the medibay healing from the information overload, he was by your side most often, talking about the things he did in the day
- He would hope that you hear him, and remember some of his finer moments too
Vos [MTMTE]
- Vos recognized you, because you had fought alongside one another in the war for a time
- You were one of the only Old Cybertronian speaking around him so it made sense
- He insisted they at least try to help you
- Actually, he offered to be the one to get you back to who you were, a little bit of a lab rat if you will
- For a lab rat, you were treated extremely well
- Vos was a biochemist, he was certain he could figure something out
- The con took you to the medibay regularly for checkups to ensure you were healthy and eating well
- As nice as that was he would in fact put you to sleep prior because it was easier than a struggle
- Eventually he managed to create a counter to the chemicals that plagued you from all the mnemosurgery
- Just to ensure you were in no pain, he slowly neutralized them in doses, cleaning it all out with his replacement
- It worked wonders! You were back to your old self in no time thanks to the minibot
- Vos was more than happy to remind you how much you owed him, and would keep you on the Peaceful tyranny with him under the excuse of 'you are still healing'
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Authors Note - You can really tell I simp for vos SORRY NOT SORRY BABES
This was so much fuuun I love writing for the DJD- total guilty pleasure
