— assurances of the heart. yamada asaemon shion x f!reader. sfw/fluff, only mildly suggestive. reader and shion are married. brief mention of insecurities. lots of love and romantic declaration. shion cracks a few jokes because he can't help himself. wc: 1590.
“can i ask you something?”
your hushed voice breaks the comfortable tranquility of the room, bathed in warm morning light through the closed shoji screens, perfectly diffused into a soft dreamlike glow. there’s a gentle cadence of warblers that rings out, alongside a rustle of the spring sakura trees from the other side of your peaceful sanctuary, completely out of sight from the rest of the world.
the futon you share lays in modest disarray, layers of your sleep robes draped haphazardly around the tatami mat floor. there’s nothing between the two of you, only bare forms and blushed skin that tells a familiar tale.
“of course you can,” shion responds, lazily carding his fingers through your hair as you rest over his chest, his heart rate still leveling out from your bright and early activities. “you’re my wife.”
you smile at that, still, even after you’ve been wed and living together in this home for many months now, basking in the joy that is marriage to the man that nearly swept you off of your feet from the very moment you met him.
it was his calm gentleness, paired with discipline and understanding, that drew you to the asaemon, like a clumsy moth to a white hot flame.
shion, who is calm and kind, passionate and honest, and oh so very handsome.
“why did you decide to marry me?”
your husband entertains your inquiry with a quiet chuff, endeared by such an innocent curiosity. “what brought this on?”
“just…” you cling tighter to him then, seeking shelter from your own looming insecurities. your finger traces over the shallow roadmaps of his battle scars to sooth yourself. “will you tell me?”
shion hums in thought, letting it linger in the air like a weightless down feather. his hand reaches for your own, interrupting your tender touches to his skin to lace your fingers together, a harmonious lattice of both fragility and strength.
“i took you as my wife because you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever met.”
you watch as his calloused trained fingers enclose around your much smaller hand, thankful that his eyes can’t perceive the expression you’re making, almost pitiful… doubting even.
“but…” you chew on your lower lip, still kiss-swollen. “you’ve never actually… seen me. not really. why would you think that i’m—“
shion uses his grip on your hand to tug you even closer, an effortless strength that brings you into him, a loving demand for your attention.
“why wouldn’t i think that you’re beautiful?” it’s like he knows you have a better view of his face now, because he smiles, a tender thing that compliments his fair features. his eyes remain shut, but you can almost see them sparkle anyway. “you assume that because i can’t see with my eyes that i’m unable to evaluate one’s beauty?”
you know as well as anyone that shion perceives things that others cannot, a deeper sort of sense to a person’s being that the naked eye can’t begin to acknowledge. be it something that was born from the loss of his vision, or a training element learned from his rōnin status, it's impressive how much shion can 'see' without a proper visual field.
but you’d be lying if you said you never wondered if that was enough for the ways of his heart, that not knowing your true physical appearance holds no weight to a man robbed of his sight.
“there are other ways to observe such things,” he continues, somehow sensing your rapt attention from behind his eyes that stay guarded with the fan of his eyelashes, framed with those ever-present scars.
“your hair, for example.” shion abandons your hand in favor of weaving through the strands once again, thoughtfully twirling some of it around his index finger.
“it smells of lavender and honey, like an untouched wildflower field in the peak warmth of summertime.” shion lifts the twisted section of hair up to his nose, inhaling slightly. “it puts me at ease.”
you look at your husband as he speaks, watching the curl of his mouth as his fondness begins to drip out like a calming flow of water. the heat begins to radiate over your cheeks.
“i can also sense it through touch.” his palm rests over your cheek momentarily, warm and comforting, as if he’s brought the very hearth of his love right to your already burning skin. it slides to the back of your neck, following an invisible trail over the plane of your back.
shion pauses along the way to regard specific parts of your body; the curve of your waist, the shallow dip of your spine at your lower back, and the crescent of your hipbone, places he was touching only moments ago with a much different fervor.
the entire time, you’re basking in the breathlessness of your body’s reaction to his touch, the gooseflesh it leaves in it’s wake. you can feel yourself subconsciously drawing closer to him with every inch of exploration.
his fingers grip into the back of your thigh appreciatively, steadily pulling upward to drape your leg across his midsection. even though he’s beneath you, shion makes it feel like he’s crowding you somehow, brushing the tip of his nose over your cupid’s bow until your soft giggle fills the small space left between your lips.
“and that laugh,” he says with such a fondness that it nearly breaks your heart. “you have a beautiful laugh, my love. the cadence of it melts away every ache of a long day. i can’t say i’ve heard any song that compares to it.”
somehow, in a matter of seconds, your husband reduces the question of his assessment of you down to nothing but utter certainty, a bashfulness permeating your already feverish complexion.
and all the while he didn’t make you feel silly for asking in the first place.
“besides…” shion softly smiles, finally opening his eyes to reveal the palest milky white, like winter frost against a pane of glass. “i’m sure this face is less than pleasant to look at.”
you immediately balk in offense, pushing yourself off of your husband’s chest to point a finger that he can’t rightfully see. “you listen here! I happen to think you’re quite handsome! i feel incredibly lucky to have—“
shion’s sudden bright laugher cuts you off, willing his eyes to close once again. “see that? beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as the saying goes.”
you deflect his very obvious pun and pout, something he also can’t see, but perhaps he can feel it somehow judging by the way his expression shifts in acknowledgement.
“i’ll have you know that practically every woman in the town expressed disappointment upon hearing about our marriage announcement.”
shion’s eyebrows raise at that, giving you a look of genuine surprise. “now why would they do that?”
you can’t help but sigh at his apparent denseness for his own good looks, for the fact that all the single women — even some of the married ones — secretly pined over shion yamada asaemon for years before he met you, hoping to be right here in your place.
as observant as he is, that fact seems to escape him to this very day.
“all I want to know is…” you reach for your husband’s face, a soft caress of your fingertips that only mildly catches him off guard, letting your touch trace the outlines of the marred flesh around his pretty eyes. “are you happy that you married me?”
shion pauses, if only for a second, before he responds with a tender touch around your wrist, allowing his lips to find the delicate palm of your hand and placing a kiss directly to its center.
his thumb brushes over your skin soothingly, finding your other hand still resting against his sturdy chest to curl his fingers around it. you can feel him looking at you, somehow, even in the complete absence of sight itself.
“please don’t ever doubt that you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”
there’s a sudden sting of tears along your lash line, so much warmth and reassurance blooming over your heart at his reverent declaration. “really? you mean that?”
shion closes the space and presses his lips to yours, ones that remind you of the sakura petals that often drift onto the engawa just outside this room. you instantly melt into it, a gentle kiss laden with promise, for as long as you both continue to draw breath.
your husband finally pulls back just enough to speak against your mouth.
“since the moment i laid my eyes on you.”
you can’t fight the reaction this time, letting another airy giggle dance around his senses. “i suppose i should be grateful that i married a man with a sense of humor.”
shion almost looks proud to receive your praises, curling his arms around you protectively, like you might suddenly disappear if he were to let go.
“and i’m grateful that i married such a beautiful woman that will laugh at my jokes.”
you smile then, brushing your nose against the slope of his own in appreciation of all that shion is and remains to be. calm and kind, passionate and honest, oh so handsome and decidedly quite humorous.
SYNOPSIS: Your arranged marriage is something you are unable to fight. Accepting your fate, you are surprised when your new husband just wants to treat you kindly.
A collection of moments following your marriage with Yamada Asaemon Shion.
CONTENT: Minors DO NOT interact! Female reader, arranged/forced marriage, physical and emotional abuse are mentioned/hinted at within reader's family, falling in love, two idiots in love, pining, food, alcohol (reader gets tipsy), poetry, blood, canon-typical violence, some angst, miscommunications, masturbation (male), kissing, smut, hand job, fingering, penetration, first time together, domesticity, humor, some banter, there are some notes at the end of this regarding the poems/stories used, as well as some translations!
WORD COUNT: ~ 16.8 k
NOTES: This works as a prequel for the couple from this fanfic! This is a repost from my old account. Seeing as how this fic is three years old, I feel a little embarrassed about the quality of the writing. Thank you for loving it enough to ask for me to repost it, despite that!
Your name is something you should not give to a stranger. There is a distance to be kept when it comes to men. Suspicious people should be avoided at all costs.
As much as the boy in front of you fits the description of someone you should not interact with, you don’t turn away. His clothes are dirty and worn, he looks a little sickly and the scars that marr his face are prominent. He’s probably around your age, maybe a little older. You’ve just turned seven a few weeks ago.
“Do they hurt?”
He turns his head towards you, wary now. You wonder how he turned so accurately, facing you despite his eyes being closed. His hearing must be very good.
It’s dark outside already and you really should not be out here, sitting in front of the door like this but you felt caged in. You needed some fresh air and some sort of distraction. The gods seem to be kind to you tonight.
“Your scars, I mean,” trying again, you don’t feel upset over his obvious lack of desire to talk to you. No one really talks to the daimyō’s daughter, unless they mean trouble.
“No,” he murmurs, as he turns his head towards the trash you found him digging through just now when you decided to sit down in front of the house. Tentatively he turns his attention back to you. Is he embarrassed? Or perhaps is he asking for permission?
“Here,” you offer, stretching out a hand. The boy tilts his head, brows furrowed in confusion. His cheeks are a little sunken in and he looks exhausted but there is some sort of pull you feel towards him. A sort of quiet resilience that has found its home in the downturn of his pouty lips and carved its existence into the lines of his face.
A sigh of frustration leaves you and you tell him to come closer. When he obliges, you pull on his arm. He flinches and instinctively tries to free himself from your grasp but you’re stubborn as you put the small fruit in his hand.
“Eat some. I brought enough here with me since I had to sneak through the garden. There is nothing in the trash and it’s dirty,” you explain as you pat the space next to you on the little stone wall.
The boy holds the small fruit in his hand as he examines it with his fingers. “What is this?”
“A plum,” you tell him simply. “I pulled the stone out for you. You can just eat it.”
Hesitation cannot win over the feeling of his stomach twisting with hunger and he quickly puts it in his mouth to eat it. He squeezes his eyes shut even more than they’re already closed and there’s a frown on his face now.
“That’s sour!”
For a moment, you’re stunned. With just two words, he suddenly seemed his age and you can’t help but laugh at his reaction. “I like it when they’re still a bit sour. If you come back after some weeks have passed, then they’ll be a lot sweeter,” you explain, plopping half a plum into your mouth.
It’s not often that you get to talk to someone your age and maybe it’s not the most clever thing to invite a beggar back to your home but that doesn’t deter you the slightest bit. “What’s your name?” you ask the boy while you eat another plum, offering your name before waiting for his answer.
He takes a moment to think before he replies, “My name is Shion and you should be more careful out here alone.” There is almost a tinge of worry to his tone and the frown on his face makes you grin. Saying something like that makes him sound like a nagging old man.
With a kind of bitter sarcasm that is utterly unbefitting of someone so young, lacing your voice, you tell him, “It’s probably more dangerous for you, right here in front of my house, you know? You never know when-”
And as if you’d summoned trouble, you hear shuffling inside the house and the voice of your father echoes inside, the door not doing much to hide his anger. Quickly, you hand the small basket filled with plums to the boy and forcibly turn him around.
“You have to go - Hurry! I need to go inside before my father gets even more mad at me. Take these with you, boy! I will see you around!”
With that, you turn around and hurry off to the other side of the house. The boy is left on the street, looking dumbfounded.
There’s a tinge of sweetness within the aftertaste of the plum you had given to him just now.
It is a warm summer day when your father whispers harshly, telling you to keep your back straight. The past few days have passed by like a whirlwind. Talks of marriage have never been unfamiliar business to you - the only daughter of a prestigious daimyō. Your father, a friend of the shogun, as close as friendship within such a hierarchy gets, has always received his favor.
So it was only a matter of time until you’d get wed off to someone the shogun trusts, in hopes of strengthening this friendship.
It’s more of a business relationship, really, but you are not in a position to criticize this bond of theirs.
When the sliding door opens, your forehead is already pressed against the tatami flooring. The servants lead the Yamada Asaemon into the room and your father moves to stand up but the rustling next to you settles as soon as it begins and he bows as he kneels next to you. Not quite as deep as you do and not for as long either.
He is a man after all.
You don’t doubt that even if your father was the poorest farmer in this country, his pride would still stiffen his back so that he could bow no lower than 45°. Respect only goes one to that man, unless the shogun is involved.
The Yamada Asaemon must have signaled for him to stay seated, or else your father would have at least had the courtesy to get up and puff out his chest as he does. The soft thumping on the other side of the table lets you know that he has taken a seat himself.
Raising your head, you make sure to keep your gaze cast to the floor, your vision barely reaching toward the white fabric of his pants. His work attire - how official. A show of respect? Or perhaps an intimidation tactic?
“Had I been informed of your acceptance of my offer, I would have brought the lady a present from my travels. I apologize,” the man speaks up and the deep tone of his voice sends shivers down your spine and it makes your fingers feel numb.
The chance to answer is taken from you, as your father laughs, “It is forthcoming enough of you to come by so quickly right after your mission even after we took so much time to answer. I apologize. I hope the shogun was not offended by my leisure.”
When his hand settles on your shoulder, you feel as if someone put a heavy boulder on top of it. Its warmth feels uncomfortable through the already too-warm layers of your expensive kimono.
“We wanted to make sure that my daughter understands just how much of an honor this truly is,” he explains and it takes every ounce of patience you have to not grimace when he sends you a disapproving look.
They had ridiculed you. Made fun of you for being wed off to a man with a permanent ailment and your father had nearly beaten you senseless, as if it was your fault the shogun had set up the blind executioner with you. In your father’s eyes, this was a failure that was indeed caused by your lacking persona. He’d told you how this reflected poorly upon his relationship with the shogun.
“Do you know what this means? What this says about how much he values me? My daughter is worth nothing more than a crippled man!”
A crippled man who could cut you down this instant - is what you think to yourself. While you have never met the man face to face, he was the Yamada Asaemon who was assigned to your part of the town, protecting it from criminals. Daimyōs like your father would claim themselves to be the peacekeepers, while all they did was send their men to a certain death while filling their own stomachs with more food than the pigs they feed on could eat.
Thankfully, the voice inside your head is loud and clear. You can yell and scream and insult the man who had taken part in your birth as eloquently as you wished to. It is the only comfort you have. The only humor you can possibly find in such a predicament.
They exchange pleasantries, one man clearly far more genuine than the other, until your father nudges your side. “Go take a walk with your husband and then lead him back for some tea. We will have some things to discuss, which I shall prepare for this instant.”
Monetary things, surely. It seems your life as an entertainer continues from here on out, but your crowd seems to slowly shift. How miserable.
Getting up, you’re proud of how you manage not to stumble over the layers of fabric that seem to be draped endlessly over your body. “Let me lead you through the garden,” you speak demurely, still keeping your gaze low out of respect.
It is when you’re outside, the door shut behind you, and a few steps into the garden, that he speaks up. This time, it’s directed at you. For the first time today.
“Are you alright?”
It’s a simple question and the answer lays heavy on your tongue but you swallow it down. “Of course.”
“Would you look at me then?”
You stop walking, keeping your gaze no higher than his chest, “I am not sure if that is alright, my Lord.”
His tone now is much more mild and something in his tone tells you he is smiling. “You can drop the odd honorifics and titles. I am going to be your husband soon, am I not?” The rough pads of his fingers are gentle as he tugs you closer by the sleeve of your kimono, ever so slightly. Like a child asking for an adult’s attention.
“Or do you wish to annul the marriage? Perhaps, you have taken me into the garden so you could reject me dramatically, with a more illustrious scenery to fit the moment? Although I must admit, the visual aspects of such endeavors are usually lost on me,” the man tells you and when a soft gasp leaves your lips, you tilt your head up only to be met with a smile that makes your cheeks burn.
“Such jokes seem a little…of ill taste.”
“Even if I am the one making them? It is my ailment after all. Am I not allowed to make light of it?”
There is nothing clever you can quip back but your desire to do so anyway surprises you. Usually, you do well on holding back any snide comments but he makes it easy to let go of that control.
A defeated breath leaves your lips as you look at him. Carefully, his fingers travel along the end of your sleeve, grabbing your hand gently. His hand is warm, a little rough - from his sword, you assume - but the way it holds yours is very gentle.
“I hope you can forgive me for being this casual but I need you to know that I mean well with you. I know this arrangement isn’t ideal for you-”
You wonder if it is ideal for him.
“-and while I don’t know the exact circumstances of your life here…,” he tilts his head towards the main house, where your father must still be sitting inside, “I can at least promise that I will treat you as my equal. That is also all I wish for in return.”
He seems to know a lot about your family, even the parts that aren’t privy to the general public. Narrowing your eyes at him, you step a little closer, inquiring, “Why would you offer me this so selflessly? What do you gain from this arrangement?”
The man in front of you crosses his arms and a thoughtful expression crosses his face. He frowns slightly as he collects his thoughts and you think to yourself that he is quite handsome. On top of that, he seems to be as well-behaved as the ladies your mother would bring over would whisper to each other.
How ironic that you’d roll your eyes at their daydreams about the man and yet here you are, about to be married off to him.
“I think,” his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, “You are someone who I wish to treat well.”
The wind blows softly, moving the fabric of your kimono ever so slightly and conducting a symphony of leaves as it slips through the bushes and trees of the garden. Taken aback, you blink up at him for a few moments. You take a deep breath, lick your lips, and then open your mouth slightly.
Only to close it again.
Shion suppresses a laugh and you gape up at him, heat licking its way up your spine as he squeezes your hands gently. “I did step forward when the shogun offered this arrangement. Just as you have inevitably heard a lot about me, I have also heard a lot about the lady in return.”
He lets go of your hands but the warmth of his touch lingers on your skin and you almost feel saddened by the loss of physical contact. “I know the members of your family are the ones who are responsible for the uniforms of the Yamada Asaemon, as well as the clothing for the shogun, no?” he asks with a tilt of his head and you notice that he does this a lot. It’s cute and makes him seem a lot more approachable, coupled with that soft smile.
“The previous shogun took a liking to the work of my grandmother and appointed her as his personal seamstress. My mother takes care of the current shogun’s robes and I take care of the ones that all of the Yamada Asaemon wear,” you explain, despite your feeling that he might already know that.
Shion nods and smiles, “You were the one who sent me my uniform without the bell attached. I took the liberty to ask who was considerate enough to do such a thing.”
“So you decided to marry me because I didn’t attach a bell to your uniform?” you ask him, still lost on his motives. What a strange man.
It is then, that the peaceful conversation and the prospect of a proper reply is shattered by the voice of your father. It is almost impressive how the man manages to sound as if he had woven five layers of suppressed anger into his voice. You flinch and Shion’s expression falls slightly as he notices your change in posture.
With a soft sigh, he puts a guiding hand on your upper back for a short moment, redirecting you back towards the house as the both of you walk back. It’s quiet for a moment, the air thick with tension before he dispells it easily once more.
“I accepted the offer because I was curious if I could be a considerate husband towards such a kind person. Perhaps I also simply feel like I have a favor to return.”
A husband in return for a change in uniform design might be the oddest deal you have struck thus far.
You’re sitting across from your husband for the first time since your wedding. Right after the small ceremony, work had pulled him from your now shared home and you did not get the chance to spend any time with him.
Perhaps it was for the better. His absence had given you the chance to make yourself familiar with this house you’d be calling your home from now on. You’d wandered the corridors, made your feet familiar with the grass of the garden until it got too cold to do so, and listened to the way the empty branches danced with the wind as they parted from a few of their leaves. You wondered if they’ve held fruit this year. The trees seem familiar but you cannot put a name to them.
In those moments you had to yourself, it had been peaceful. This house feels more like a home than the grand estate of the daimyō - your father - ever did. Now you share this home with the man sitting across from you.
Your hands lay on top of the small table, your tea untouched.
Shion clears his throat and your head snaps up so you can face him, ready to listen to whatever he’s going to say.
“I am sorry for how uncomfortable this must be for you,” he says, sounding a little resigned. In turn, it makes you feel a little sorry.
“It’s not your fault!” you hurry to speak, your hand instinctively reaching out to offer some comfort but you’re unsure if he’d be okay with you touching his hand, so you drop it softly, letting it rest on the table again. “I am just not too sure what to say. This is my first time being married.”
Your words cause him to hold back a laugh and you feel heat climb into your cheeks. That was a dumb thing to say.
“What a coincidence,” he tells you and the lines at the corners of his eyes become more pronounced when he smiles, “It’s my first time being married as well.”
His joke eases the tension you’re feeling and you feel your shoulders loosen up a little. There is something very comforting about his smile and the lines of his face almost carry a sense of familiarity but you struggle to put your finger on the reason for it.
“How was your work today?” you ask, grabbing a hold of your cup and drinking your tea. Finally. It’s only lukewarm now but that doesn’t matter too much.
Shion looks amused. “Do you really wish to know? My work isn’t the best topic for a lighthearted conversation between newlyweds… Unless you are harboring a sadistic side I was not made aware of?”
You grimace. “Never mind then. Apologies for asking, you’re right.”
A low chuckle leaves his lips as he brings his cup to his lips. Your gaze is drawn to the lines of his throat as he drinks and your ears feel a little warm.
After he puts it down again, he speaks once more, “I have a student who is going to be appointed as one of the Yamada Asaemon soon. Today, I spent most of the day training with him. No violent business.”
A strange sense of relief settles in your chest and you nod. “That sounds nice… Is it difficult to be a teacher to somebody else? I tried teaching one of the other daimyōs’ daughters how to sew once but I fear I lack the patience to offer guidance of any sort.”
“So you’re the impatient type?”
“It depends,” you defend yourself quickly, “I can be patient if I want to be. Are you going to answer my question?”
“There it is - your patience,” Shion retorts and you feel irked, breathing in deeply, causing him to laugh.
“Anyway, it’s not so much that it is difficult, it just requires a willingness to understand the other. When teaching, you cannot apply the same words and actions to every pupil you teach. Not everybody is receptive to my ways of teaching.”
Humming in reply, you think out loud, “Are you a strict teacher?”
“I can be.”
“I cannot imagine that. Put on a frown for me, please. To stimulate my fantasy,” you plead, a little too excitedly before you cough and clear your throat, reining it in again.
His eyebrows pull together and yeah - he does look a little intimidating but soon enough a smile tugs on his lips and the muscles of his face fail him. He breaks the strict facial expression in favor of a charming, slightly awkward smile.
“Did that stimulate your fantasy?” he asks with raised brows and your teeth sink into your lower lip, as you’re trying to hold back your grin.
“Plenty. Thank you,” you reply, drinking the rest of your tea before getting up and grabbing a hold of his empty cup, carrying both of them to the kitchen before returning once more.
Instead of sitting down, you decide to walk towards the shelf that covers the entire wall on one side of the living room, standing in front of it as you have done plenty of times during the first few days here.
“Perhaps I can get someone to do the household chores soon-” Shion begins but you cut him off.
“There is no need. I enjoy playing house. My cooking may not be up to par but I fear you will just have to show me some of that patience of yours in that regard,” you smile. “We may have had servants at home but to be honest, that kind of lifestyle has never suited me much.”
“What kind of lifestyle suits you then?” Genuine curiosity resounds in his question and you hum softly in response.
“Perhaps we will just have to find out together,” you offer, reaching out to run a hand over the back of a little booklet. A scroll lays on top of it so you carefully pull it out.
“I apologize if this is an improper question to ask but why do you collect so much poetry and so many stories when you cannot read them by yourself?”
After offering up this question, you turn towards him again, slowly unraveling the scroll as you wait for his reply. Unsure, your eyes flit towards his form again before settling back on the calligraphy displayed on the scroll.
“Whenever I go out to the market, I stop by the place where they sell poetry. The vendors read it to me and I buy it if it appeals to me. It’s a simple explanation, really,” Shion explains. “Surely, you buy things you’re fond of a lot too, right? Even if they aren’t necessarily something you’re able to use a lot.”
"Even if it were something of the past,
With each day the white snow falls,
My love for you grows stronger,
Surpassing all that came before."
Your eyes wander over the words on the scroll carefully while you answer him absentmindedly, “I wasn’t allowed to buy what I desired. However, sometimes I would receive fabrics as a present, from a dear aunt of mine. That would be my personal little luxury.”
Shion frowns, “The daimyō is quite the strict man, isn’t he?”
“Imagine dealing with the shogun and then multiply that by twenty. Perhaps then you’ll get close to just how difficult he is to deal with.” Your eyes flit towards his face and you wonder, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m not looking at you,” he refutes and you stay quiet for a moment.
“You are quite fond of these kinds of jokes, aren’t you?”
“I find them incredibly amusing,” he replies, smiling in a terribly boyish manner. Adorable, is what you think it is but you would not dare to say that out loud.
Clearing your throat, you read the poem on the scroll out loud in the way you were taught to do it - with an elegant tone and yet, carrying a tempo that commands attention. Your literary criticism is immediate, “This is a little sad, is it not? Why would one yearn for something that’s in the past… Wouldn’t that just break your heart?”
Shion thinks about your words for a moment before smiling softly. “Something from the past might just return to become a part of your present, no? Also, I do think it’s important to cherish beloved memories.”
His words hang in the room between the both of you and for a faint moment you get the feeling that he is waiting for something else but then he gets up before you can ask any further questions.
“Come on. Let’s go out and get some fresh air. We can continue our talks about the depths of feelings of the past outside,” Shion invites you and you huff, before following him.
“Don’t pour him sake,” Shion tells you and you sigh, switching over to pour sake into your own cup. It’s clear that you have had too much to drink tonight and Tenza is finding great humor in it.
He whisper-shouts your name, pulling on your kimono sleeve excitedly. “And then? What did Sensei say?”
Right. You were in the middle of your retelling of an uncomfortable encounter with a man on the street before you decided to be nice and pour Tenza some of the sake as well. It’s the first time you've had a drink like this. Before, you were not allowed to drink any alcohol but tonight, Shion brought out some sake for you two to share. Tenza decided to join, in search of some entertainment.
“He said ‘I suggest you keep your hands off my wife’ and looked at the guy all scary. Like this,” you giggle, leaning onto your hand, your elbow propped up onto the table as you try to imitate Shion’s expression from back then. It doesn’t look anything like any of his expressions at all and the grimace you’re pulling is so ridiculous, that Tenza snorts loudly.
The tips of Shion’s ears are a little flushed and he shifts awkwardly. His voice is gentle yet firm. “I could not let someone harass you,” he mumbles, drinking from his cup.
“I knew sensei was a protective person but love really does change-oof!” Tenza groans and reaches down to rub his shin, right where Shion just kicked him under the small desk.
“Training tomorrow will begin an hour earlier than usual. Go get some sleep,” Shion urges the young man with a voice so kind that his words almost seem harmless. Tenza’s mouth is caught in a permanent gasp now, at the consequences of his nosy actions. While his mentor can be a little strict, he was not used to him practically throwing him out of his home.
Grumbling, he gets up and bows to you, foregoing his bow towards his mentor. “Good night. Please prepare more stories of sensei’s gallant acts for the next time I come over,” he tells you, a grin pulling on his lips.
With a grin of your own, you reach out and ruffle his hair, breaking into a fit of giggles when he groans about you ruining it.
The world spins and you decide to rest your head on the table. You don’t know how much time passes as Shion leads Tenza back to the entrance to bid him goodbye. Their voices are far away and you close your eyes, feeling a little dizzy.
Cool fingers touch your forehead. “You had too much to drink,” your husband tells you gently, sounding a little amused. Still, there is a hint of worried care underlying his words.
“No such thing happened…,” you mumble and Shion huffs softly, sitting down next to you. Slowly, he traces his fingertips over your face, running them over the apples of your cheeks, along your brow bone before following the lines of your lips.
“Don’t touch my face,” comes your complaint, slurred and hard to understand with your cheek pressed against the table.
Your husband merely smiles but you don’t see it, your eyes still closed. “I am looking at you,” he says in a tone that is so tender that it causes you to take a peek at him. The smile on his lips is a sweet one, so gentle that it pulls on your heartstrings. His brows are drawn together as his fingers draw shapes over your face and it makes him look painfully emotional.
The thought of him not knowing what you look like twists something inside your chest and your throat feels as if you’ve tried to swallow a small rock.
“I am looking at you as well,” you tell him and it would have made for an intimate moment, were it not for how jumbled your words sound due to the alcohol. He laughs softly and cups your cheeks with his hands to turn your face towards him better. His hands are warm, the skin a little rough from the regular use of his sword but they offer a comfort and now something you dare to call familiarity, that you wish to hold onto.
“You look at me a lot.”
“Because you’re handsome,” you shoot back and he looks a little taken aback, the tips of his ears flushing red. With newfound bravery, generously sponsored by the alcohol coursing through your bloodstream, you reach out and cup his face in return. Running your thumb over his ear, you giggle.
“You’re pretty drunk. Let me help you get to bed,” with that he gently tugs your hand away from his face and you pout as he helps you up. Shion wraps his arm around you, helping you to get to your room.
Your hands hold onto the fabric of his kimono. There is something about the way he looked at you when you told him he’s handsome. You decide that you don’t like it. “I really think you are handsome. It’s not the sake,” you promise, tugging on the fabric of his robes.
He pulls you along gently, opening the door to your bedroom before entering with you. Shion helps you get ready for bed, as much as is appropriate. When you change into your clothes for the night, he even turns to face away from you. Watching his broad back, you snort.
“It’s not like you can see me, even if I were to be entirely naked,” you tell him. The tips of his ears are red again and he huffs, shuffling in place.
“It feels inappropriate,” he mumbles, keeping his back turned towards you. “Did you get dressed already?” It’s quiet for a moment and he clears his throat, “If it’s alright, I will turn around-”
Your fingers find the back of his robes, tugging him closer gently… Or are you the one moving closer to him? Shion isn’t sure and his feet feel heavy, yet oddly light, as if he doesn’t have any in the first place. Your arms are warm as they wrap around his middle. As far as he can tell, they’re bare.
“Now, this is inappropriate.”
“We are married,” you tell him, leaning against his back, your cheek rubbing against the spot between his shoulder blades fondly. He’d compare you to a cat if your proximity didn’t toss his thoughts into a big, disorganized pile inside his mind.
“It’s cold. You should get dressed,” he tells you, his hands clenched into fists by his sides. His breath is heavy and his tongue feels restless inside his mouth. It’s too hot and his body is yelling at him to simply take a step forward and a way from your body against his back.
He doesn’t.
You remove yourself from his back and he hears the rustling of fabric, coupled with your clumsy steps. “Don’t trip. Be careful,” he tells you and you simply hum, pulling on your robes to sleep in.
“I was wearing my kosode,” you tell him when he turns around and he nods, guiding you to your futon and helping you lay down as he sits by your side. “I wouldn’t hug you if I was indecent. Not even if it was because of the alcohol.”
With a sigh, he nods again and when he tries to stand up after having made sure you’re safe and sound in bed, you grab onto his clothes again. As he regards you with a raised brow, you feel odd. You don’t know if it’s the alcohol or this strange tension that hangs in the air between you. Maybe that is due to the alcohol too. Perhaps, this is why your parents never let you drink before.
“Stay. I can read to you if you stay with me for a while longer,” you whisper and Shion faces you for a moment, quietly. It’s a little cheeky to offer such a thing this late at night - to ask someone to stay a while longer already has its implications but something like that, to him at least-
A smile tugs on his lips and he reaches forward, gently rubbing his thumb between your brows, chasing away the frown that he finds with such accuracy, that you truly wonder as to how easy he finds it to understand you without needing to see.
“What if the letters start dancing across the scroll?” he teases you for your tipsy state as he gets up to grab one of his poem collections for you to read out loud to him.
“Then we’ll just have to dance with them,” is all you offer and he huffs before leaving the room for a moment.
You hear him chuckling on his way down the hall to the living room.
“The old pond.
A frog leaps in -
The sound of the water.”
“So…the frog jumps into the pond?”
“You’re quite quick with your deductions, aren’t you?” Shion teases, and you raise your brow at him, pursing your lips in a dissatisfied pout.
“And you have bad taste in poetry. Why did you buy this? If you are in search of obvious retellings of natural happenings, I can be your source for that kind of information for the rest of your days,” you mumble, looking back at the scroll again as you lay on your tummy.
One of you visiting the other’s room with poetry or stories in hand has become a habit. You’ve been spending the past weeks reading to him - faithfully, every single evening. Both of you seem to regard this as an essential part of your days despite not talking about it. Just like how you avoid putting a name to the feelings that have blossomed in your chest.
Shion feels his chest tighten at your casual promise of a life together. The teasing lilt of his voice turns into a warm and comforting one as his hand reaches out to gently cup your cheek. His thumb strokes over your protruding lower lip until you stop pouting. “But can you be as picturesque with your words?” he asks and you grumble.
“How would you even rate that?”
It slips out before you can do anything about it, hours of frustration from trying to work your way around clever plays on kanji, as well as the haikus of Basho taking a toll on you.
“I am so sorry,” you say, trying to get up but your husband tugs on your yukata, urging you to stay on the comfortable futon.
“The old pond has always been peaceful. Quiet and undisturbed,” he speaks, undeterred by your antics and your little joke at his expense but you can tell that he is fighting off a smile. You being comfortable enough to join in on his neverending jokes about his ailment is causing him to feel a warmth that makes him feel unsure whether he wants to share it with you or lock it away inside himself for colder times.
“And then, a little frog comes along. It’s cheeky and doesn’t care about the current ways of the pond. So, mischievous as it is, it jumps into the calm little pond, causing a commotion. A big splash, a loud noise,” Shion murmurs softly, his fingers moving down your arm as he reaches for your hand.
Almost naturally, he laces his fingers between yours and concludes, “Ripples move all over the place as the frog breaks the surface of the water. The calm pond is no more.”
Shion’s attention is entirely on you now and you look up at him as he sits next to you on the futon. You take a moment to process his words, wiggling your fingers between his while you are deep in your thoughts.
“Is that kind of disturbance really that bad? Surely, for a pond that has never experienced anything, aside from its boring quiet life, something like that must be quite exciting, no?”
Amused, Shion lifts your hand to his lips, pressing gentle kisses against the tips of your fingers, one by one before he replies, “It’s quite exhilarating.”
A grin tugs on your lips. “So you’re the pond now?”
“Indeed, and you’re the cheeky little thing that decided to shake my life up a little.”
Pricks of warmth climb their way up to your neck and you suppress a shiver. “Is that so…,” you mumble quietly, feeling a little flustered at how happy he sounds about your presence in his life. It grows quiet once more as you return to the poem. Your husband keeps your hand in his and runs his thumb over the side of your finger.
A soft yawn escapes your lips and you blink tiredly, finally noticing how heavy your eyelids feel.
“The kanji for ‘frog’ can be read as ‘to return’,” Shion tells you and you look up at him for a moment, mulling over his words. His attention is fully on you and when he notices that you are lacking a reply, he almost seems a little…disappointed?
“Which also means, the little frog needs to return to her room for tonight,” he concludes and you sigh. With a nod, you get up and as per usual, he accompanies you to your bedroom. Despite how it is almost right next to his own; only a few steps away.
Leaning down, he kisses your forehead ever so gently before bidding you good night and returning to his room.
Your forehead feels warm throughout the entire night as your hand rests on top of it in an attempt to preserve the feeling of his lips against your skin for a moment longer.
Crimson stains your vision on a cold winter day, breaking the abundance of pure white that your eyes have gotten used to.
The smell of iron stings deep inside your nose and your ears feel as if they have been filled with cotton. When you part your lips to speak, nothing escapes your dry throat and you force yourself to swallow before trying anew, “W-What-”
“Just help me get him inside. Quick!” Tenza all but shouts and you comply, your movements almost mechanical as you open the door fully, closing it behind him and leading him to the bedroom.
“Shouldn’t we call a doctor?” you ask, your hands anxiously grabbing onto the fabric of your kimono. You want to reach out and help but you are afraid of hurting your husband even more. You’re not even sure where he is hurting. All you see is how his clothes are stained a deep red.
Nausea climbs its way up your throat but you force it down. Carefully, you help Tenza sit him down. The young man seems unsure what to do himself, sweat beading on his forehead. He’s in distress but he is trying to keep it together.
You feel pathetic.
The wound is on his back and once you know this, it seems clear as day. The back of his clothes is dripping blood and you wince. “I sent for the medic, he should be-”
“Go wait for him outside. Someone needs to guide him here. I will take care of Shion until then.”
Tenza hesitates, shuffling a little before he springs up and into action, leaving the room. Carefully, you brace Shion against your body, unsure of how to lay him down, so this seems like the best option.
“I wanted to see you,” he rasps and you think you misheard. Shifting, you hold him in your embrace, his chest pressed against yours as you grab the thick blanket by your side. Pushing his uniform off his shoulders, you try not to react to the cut on his back. Using the blanket, you apply pressure on his wound. It doesn’t work too well.
“It’ll be okay…” you mumble, not sure whether you are trying to comfort him or reassure yourself. His head is resting on top of your shoulder, his fingers twisting into the fabric of your kimono. You had put on the purple one with the intricate patterns that could be felt by his curious hands. The fondness he expressed over this kimono did not escape you.
You had put it on for when you’d welcome him back. If you had hugged him, would he have been surprised? Would he have hugged you back, delighted by your affection? How long would it have taken him to realize what you’re wearing? Your husband has a sharp mind - you doubt it would have taken long.
Now the soft purple is ruined, stained murky red. Like an overripe plum thrown to the ground and stepped on until there was only a puddle of mush and juice left.
A wave of nausea hits you again, your hands pressing against his back with firmness, ignoring the wetness against your fingertips.
Tenza’s voice cuts through the deafening, high-pitched sound that has crawled its way into your ears as it chases away any and all thoughts, and relief floods you as your eyes lock onto the doctor he brings in tow. The older man seems calm enough at the sight of the wound, once you remove the bedsheet, that you feel a bit of it seeping into you as well.
It would be okay.
The doctor redirects your attention to the task of making sure that Shion stays awake as he works on cleaning the wound and stitching it up. Tenza scurries about the place, grabbing water and supplies from all over the place and he seems glad not to have to sit there in silence.
You hold onto Shion, asking him questions about his trip - What did he eat? How was the weather? Did he find something exciting and new?
His replies are sluggish, his head heavy on your shoulder but he answers, despite how strained he sounds. You try your best to not look at the stitches.
Once it’s done and finished, Tenza helps you change Shion into a comfortable kimono and your eyes find no joy in roaming over his body. All those little scars littering his body cause your thoughts to spiral. How much has he endured in the past? How much would he have to endure in the future?
Pushing those thoughts away, you carefully lay him down on his front, not daring to put any strain on his back. The doctor informs you about the things you should be aware of, instructing you on how to clean the wound and how to aid in his recovery. Tenza gets up to guide him out and when he sends a questioning look filled with worry your way, you simply shake your head and wave your hand to shoo him away.
The young man has had enough of a strenuous day as is.
“You can go home for today. I can handle the rest,” you tell him, still holding your husband in your arms. The look he gives you is not one that screams that he believes you much but his fatigue wins over his desire to help you and a mere nod ends up being his reply to your words.
“I will return after I finish reporting this to the others,” he tells you before he leaves and the moment he closes the door, it’s as if he’s sealed you inside a vacuum. You don’t know how you maneuver Shion onto the futon on his stomach but by the time you’ve snapped back into reality, he’s situated comfortably on it, pillows cushioning the parts of him that need it.
—
It takes a few days for him to get back into a condition where you don’t fear that his fever might turn his brain into charcoal. The snow has settled outside but the cold that seeps into your body every night as you lay next to him, waiting for him to wake up, is not due to the cold weather outside.
Your relief is endless when you enter his room in the morning to see him sitting up on his futon. He looks a little tired and a touch more pale than he usually does but he seems to not be waiting in front of death’s door anymore.
Quickly, you hurry to his side, kneeling next to him. Your hands hover over his body, unsure where to hold onto, the desire to help him in any way you can thrumming within your limbs. “How are you feeling?” you ask carefully, your hands moving to busy themselves by smoothing out the sleeves of his robe.
Your fingertips burn with a desire to touch him, to make sure this is real.
Shifting a little, he carefully rolls his shoulders back, hissing at the hot flash of pain. Immediately, one of your hands lands on his back, gently resting below the injury and offering support. “Don’t move too much. The injury is still not fully closed up.”
A raspy sigh leaves his lips. “I am sorry for causing you trouble,” he mutters, his voice strained from days of not talking. His brows are furrowed and his breathing is still a little heavy. A frown that mirrors his own makes its home on your expression.
“You are my husband. There is no such thing as causing me trouble,” you utter, gently flicking your finger against his forehead. He could easily move out of the way but he takes it in stride, the frown on his face giving way to a softer expression.
“Then allow me to rephrase that: Thank you for taking care of me,” he tells you and you smile gently. Your hand stays on his lower back, your thumb rubbing back and forth over his skin.
“I was a little afraid that you wouldn’t wake up again. It’s silly and I know that but…,” Withdrawing your hands from his body, you fix the blanket over his legs. “That day I thought you’d bleed out in my arms, Shion. I am not a doctor, so coming to me first - in that kind of state…”
The only thing that hangs in the air between the both of you is silence before his hand moves to take one of your own, gently untangling the blanket from your fingers. You didn’t notice that you had been grasping onto the fabric way too tightly. His hand holds yours firmly enough to reassure you of his presence.
“I wouldn’t leave you alone like that,” he tells you quietly, squeezing gently. When you look back up at him again, he smiles warmly, His fingers move to tease your palm softly, tickling you, as he asks, “Who else would explain all of those poems to you?”
Slowly, your frown slowly melts into an amused expression and you shake your head. “They don’t make sense. Trust me, I have spent enough time complaining about them while you were resting.”
Shion’s eyebrows quirk up at that. “Did you read to me while I was asleep?”
For a moment, there is no reply from you. He’s left in the dark and the only thing that reminds him of your presence is the weight of your hand in his.
You clear your throat, “I thought it would be rude to just stop reading to you.” Anxiously, your fingers press into his hand ever so slightly. “I wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”
You don’t notice that he has gotten closer to you until his forehead bumps against your temple softly, and his hand finds the back of your neck. “Thank you. I don’t deserve you, my lovely wife,” he whispers tenderly.
Turning your face towards him a little more, you sigh softly, your forehead pressed against his as your breaths intermingle. “You need to be more careful from now on. This house is too big for me to live in by myself,” you complain and he laughs softly. His lips are so close to yours that you feel your cheeks heat up beyond a level you consider comfortable.
You shift and move away slightly. He seems reluctant about letting you go but does so regardless. Cleaning up the supplies that you have kept around his futon, you watch how he shifts in discomfort. “Are you alright?”
“I need a bath,” he mutters, scrunching up his nose. These past few days you’d wipe him down but for someone who is as clean and as thorough about his hygiene as he is, this must be a nightmare. There is no way he can go by himself though. Not with how hurt he is.
“I will help you wash up,” you announce and the grimace he pulls makes you laugh. Firmly, you grab onto his upper arm where he is not hurt, carefully helping him up onto his feet. On the way to the bath, you support his weight, thankful for the fact that the houses of the Yamada Asaemon all have their own private baths. Helping him wash up in a public bath would have proven to be very complicated.
Steam envelops you merely a few minutes later. Your husband is sitting on a wooden stool in front of you, only covered by a simple tenugui. Carefully, you remove the bandages on top of his injury. With bated breath, Shion waits for a reaction but it never comes. Tentatively he asks, “Is it bad?”
“It’s healing up nicely,” you answer calmly, feeling a little emotionally detached whenever you look at it. The nausea that would take over whenever you’d look at it, left after the fourth day of taking care of him. There were more important things to deal with and it had faded into the background.
The thought of you getting used to violence like that in any way deeply aggravates Shion. He feels a little helpless and it seems to show. Your wet fingers meet his face when you tilt his head back so gently that it fills him with the desire to reward every single one of your fingertips that have bestowed such a tender touch upon him.
“Are you alright?” you ask, your fingers moving to gently trace over his eyebrows, fixing them in place before following along the lines of his scars. There is something about them that makes you feel weirdly nostalgic in a way that causes something to stir in your chest but you pour water on that warmth, preventing the spark that might offset something.
The way you are right now is alright.
“It just feels a little unfamiliar to be this exposed in front of you,” he tells you, his breath warm against your face and it is only then that you realize that you have been leaning down to be closer to his face.
The way his lashes brush against the top of his cheeks makes you want to lean even closer but you clear your throat, straightening your back again before allowing him to tilt his head forward once more.
“You’re covered up. I wouldn’t mind either way. We are married and eventually, we’d come into contact with each other like this,” stating this firmly, you move on to wash his hair. His ears are flushed a soft red but the bath is warm so you pay it no mind.
Surprised at his hair’s softness, you find yourself taking much more time than necessary to run your fingers through the tufts of silvery white, separating the strands before pushing them back together again. Your fingertips push into his scalp in a gentle massage.
When your nails join in on the fun and you tug on his hair a little, a sharp intake of breath echoes through the little room and your fingers leave his scalp.
Turning away, you grab a hold of the little bucket and scoop water into it. Once you turn back, your husband’s ears are still decorated with that healthy flush that now spreads to his shoulders.
“I would like to let you soak in the tub for a bit but it seems your fever is coming back,” you mumble, washing his body clean with water before helping him dry himself off with a soft towel.
Handing him his robe, you turn away to let him get dressed once more, albeit you tell him to not pull the upper part of the robe up. Instead, Shion leaves it down, the garment tied around his waist securely as the both of you walk back to his room. It’s cold and the way he shivers ever so slightly pushes you to walk a bit quicker.
Once you arrive, he settles on his futon and you get to work. With practiced movements, you put the ointment on his wound before dressing it carefully to ensure that nothing would be able to mess with the healing process.
It’s an action you don’t think about at all when you lean forward to press a kiss on top of the bandage. Shion startles slightly, turning his head towards you. You realize and freeze. “Don’t look at me,” you mumble, feeling a sudden sense of embarrassment flood your body.
He turns around to face you, your embarrassment no hindrance to him as he pulls you into a hug. “I am not looking at you,” he mumbles back cheekily, his hands pressing you closer against his body. His upper body is warm against you and very naked but the need for comfort outweighs your bashfulness and you carefully wrap your arms around him, mindful of his injury.
Something as simple as a hug shouldn’t cause you to feel a feeling as bittersweet as the one that pulses within your chest right now but you don’t remember the last time someone had held you like this.
You don’t think anyone ever has.
If Shion can feel the way your shoulders tremble and how your wet lashes brush against his skin, he does a good job not commenting on it. All he does is hold you tightly as he whispers, mere inches away from your ear, “I am really happy that I got to return to you. While I was gone, I was really anxious about how you were doing back home.”
He sighs. “I am sorry for being reckless.”
Pressing his lips against the top of your head, he sighs softly, confessing, “I missed you.”
Your breath is warm against his shoulder as you stay like this for a while. He holds you until the trembling subsides and you part with a shaky exhale. With care, you reach out to pull up his yukata, helping him get his arms inside the sleeves before draping it over his shoulders.
It’s late. The darkness slowly settles outside as stars creep out of their homes and show themselves in the night sky. Shion gets comfortable on his futon, laying on his stomach as per your orders while you go ahead and grab something to read to him.
You return with a new story for him - no poetry this time - wanting to have an excuse to spend more time with him. Rationally, you know you don’t need an excuse to spend time with your husband who is more than generous enough to let you waste all of his free time but still, this is the method of your choosing, your very own way of circling around your feelings.
It’s easier to push them aside if you don’t verbalize them - if they don’t hang in the air between you and make it difficult to breathe. Suddenly those silly poems make a little more sense and the longing described feels more palpable.
The cold doesn’t seem to be a problem to you anymore. You feel too warm.
You discard the haori that you had worn over your kimono all day long to shield you from the cold. Instead of putting it away, you carefully cover Shion’s back and shoulders with it, mantling his body with it like a blanket.
Bemusedly, he pulls it closer around himself. “It smells like lavender, just like you do,” he breathes out, sounding a little exhausted as he settles, laying his head atop his pillow. Snickering at how docile he looks, you settle on his futon as well, right next to him on your tummy.
Your fingers move to comb back a particularly messy patch of hair right at the top of his forehead, your eyes surrounded by tiny folds as deep as your affection for the sweet man as you smile fondly. Absent-mindedly, your fingers make their way through his hair, over the nape of his neck, and down his arm until they find his fingers, and then they travel back up to his shoulder.
Today, it’s difficult to keep your hands to yourself but he seems to be alright with that. So you don’t, and simply continue touching him, while you begin to read.
“The days and months are travelers of eternity, just like the years that come and go. For those who pass their lives afloat on boats, or face old age leading horses tight by the bridle, their journeying is life, their journeying is home.”
Shion listens to you, letting out a soft hum of acknowledgement here and there. His face twitches in reaction to the words every now and then when he scrunches up his nose at some of the details, or when he smiles at how you dramatize certain passages.
By the time you reach the end of the book, your voice is lower than usual, much more intimate and quiet. The way your fingers casually trace over the nape of his neck, right where his hair meets his skin, has his skin burning. Flipping his pillow over, he buries one side of his face against the cool material in hopes of bringing comfort to the heat that wells up inside him.
Intrigued by his antics, you turn your head towards him once you finish the book, putting it away. Leaning closer, you pout as your fingers rub at his neck gently. “You must be tired, hm? Let me head off for tonight.”
Swiftly, you move in to press a lingering kiss against the top of his head, before whispering a quick “Good night”. With that, you’re off and once the door is closed, a soft sigh leaves Shion.
As he shifts to get more comfortable, he notices that you’ve left your haori with him. Brows furrowed, he presses the soft fabric closer to his nose, breathing in deeply. It doesn’t just smell of lavender but it smells of you.
It makes him feel an intense sense of yearning and his tongue presses against the roof of his mouth. His hips feel restless as the minutes pass by and his fingers tighten their hold on the haori while his other hand moves a little lower along the front of his body as he leans more onto his side.
The sting of his injury causes him to take in a sharp breath - or rather, it’s the feeling of his hand pressing against the mortifying hardness that is slowly arising underneath his yukata as he hastily pushes the fabric aside. He wishes the pain were more severe. It might have prevented such a shameful situation.
Perhaps the mix of pain and desperation can wash away the shame that threatens to burn his ears as your voice still seems to echo within them, contorting in ways his mind conjures up. You have never made the kind of sounds that plague him at this very moment, that urge him to move his hand and his hips in an attempt to ease this ache. Shion is troubled by this sudden revelation of his mind's creativity.
He wonders what you’d sound like if he worshiped at your feet. If he showed proof of his gratitude, right between your legs. Over and over again, until your cries die out and turn into soft murmurs, until your skin is warmed by his reverence.
Shion returns your haori a few days later in a hurried manner, his face turned away from yours as he hands it to you rather passively before leaving. It’s freshly cleaned and the smell of lavender is nowhere to be found.
It smells like nothing.
It is when the leaves start turning green again and you get to describe the various shades of the flowers blooming in your garden to your husband, that you feel the desire for there to be more within this. How much closer can one really get when they’re married?
Shion treats you well. Not once has he gone back on his promises and you have more than you could wish for. Not only are you well-fed and warm, but you are also free to do what you want and he treats you kindly.
Yet, every kind word of his leaves you with a deep ache.
It is also during that same spring that Shion starts to avoid you.
At first, it’s just the small things. He flinches away from your casual touches. You chalk it up to a miscalculation on your side. Perhaps he is not that comfortable with it after all.
Within your presence, he starts to look increasingly uncomfortable. He is in deep thought most of the time around you, and he doesn’t realize you’ve been calling his name many times in a row, trying to grab his attention.
And then, he blatantly begins to avoid you. The hours you’d spend reading his beloved poetry and long-winded stories to him dwindle down to the smallest fraction of an hour until he tells you that he’s too tired for your shared reading time.
Long pages remain unread, the new stories you’d bought stay hidden within the beautiful fabric you had wrapped them up in to surprise him with, and your nights feel a little colder now, despite the weather warming up.
It is on a warm spring day, that Tenza refuses to leave until you promise him to visit the sakura matsuri later that week. It feels like only yesterday when the plum blossoms in your garden had started to bloom and yet, it was already cherry blossom season. “Bring Shion-sensei with you!” is the last thing he tells you.
It’s not that easy.
Frustration sinks its claws deep into your heart. It’s not as if he doesn’t talk to you anymore or as if he is unkind. He shares with you the same kindness as he did when you got married but that is precisely what irks you.
Back then, you barely knew each other. Back then, you were just happy to have gotten out of that household, away from your father. Back then, you did not harbor this many difficult feelings for this man and it is only when your eyes sting and your lower lip begins to tremble, that you get up.
Distance is not a wall, it can be minimized, one step at a time. Even if it were a wall - you didn’t climb over the manor walls when you were younger for nothing. You’d climb over any wall he would build.
Your feet carry you to his room, a route you’re awfully familiar with by now. Softly, you knock as you take a deep breath. Once your husband bids you inside, you enter.
“Tenza asked for us to go watch the cherry blossoms with him.”
“Did he phrase it like that when asking for our presence? How cheeky,” Shion mumbles, his hands working to polish his sword with an uchiko ball. There is no humor in his tone like there used to be and the straight, confident posture you put up falters ever so slightly.
“I want to go,” you tell him and he nods, still not stopping his work, not turning towards you either.
“You are free to do so. You know you needn’t ask me for permission, as long as there is someone to keep you safe.”
“Together,” you add and he stops, carefully putting down his katana as he finally turns towards you. You continue, “Please, come along. It will be fun. I have been working on a kimono recently and it would be a good opportunity to wear it.”
Shion looks like he might deny you, his brows furrowed, his expression stuck in that internal conflict that has nestled somewhere inside his mind. You wish you had the courage to talk about it, to pester him more whenever he tells you that it’s nothing.
The shuffling of your feet as your toes grow restless against the tatami mats is loud enough for him to relent. A night out might also distract you a little and lift your spirits. Recently, you have been rather quiet and it makes him feel guilty.
He wouldn’t dare pinpoint himself as the cause of the shift in your behavior but he is aware that his recent changes have made you… Uncomfortable, perhaps. Shion doesn’t know what exactly you are feeling but he doesn’t dare to ask. He doesn’t have the right to do so.
With a nod, he complies, “Alright. We can head out together then. It’s at the end of the week, right?”
You didn’t notice that you had been holding your breath, so the first breath you take after his reply feels exhilarating. “Yes! I will ask Tenza where he wants to meet up that day and I will also take care of the rest. Thank you!”
As you hurry out of his room, Shion smiles gently, the pitter-patter of your feet against the floor accompanying him as he picks his tools back up.
—
When the day arrives and he is washing his face as you wander about, getting ready, he is reminded of a poem the old lady at the market has read to him once.
"Even though we may be apart,
if I am to hear that you pine for me
as the Inaba mountain pines,
I shall return to you."
Reaching up, he ruffles up his hair, frustrated by the resurgence of this memory. It is ridiculous to think that you have seemed so excited for him to join because it is him in particular.
The more, the merrier - that is what you’d say whenever you’d invite the other Yamada Asaemon over for dinner, or whenever you’d tell Tenza to tag along for your walks together. Futile, is what it is, to hope and pray and spend his day interpreting your awkward shifting when he’d sent you away that first night, telling you that he was too tired to have you read to him.
Futile, to search for meaning in the way your tone has changed around him. It is especially futile to think about how you’d react if he were to reach out and claim your lips.
His face feels warm.
Your hand is cold as it touches the nape of his neck and he flinches. Dumbstruck, you stand there for a moment. He’s never been one to be surprised by your presence. He had chalked it up to his heightened senses, due to his lack of vision and you’d thought it a good enough explanation. On top of that, he was a seasoned fighter.
“You’re warm… And you seem a little out of it,” you mumble gently, the awkwardness of the past few weeks forgotten in light of the possibility of him being sick. “Are you coming down with a fever?”
“I am alright,” he tells you, sounding a little flustered. Ever so softly, you reach out to lay the back of your hand against his forehead. It doesn’t seem to be a fever but his skin is a little warmer than you’re used to.
With a soft sigh, you let him know, “If you are feeling unwell, we can stay at home, you know?” You take your hand off his forehead but he grabs a hold of it mid-air, tugging it towards his lips. Pressing a gentle kiss against where you had just touched his skin, he breathes deeply.
“I want to go together.”
A tingling sensation spreads over your skin and you smile. “Alright. Let me go grab your kimono.”
“I can get it myself. My closet is right there,” Shion points towards the closet in his room but you huff in reply, pulling your hand out of his hold.
“Now, don’t tell me I spent all week hurrying to finish your kimono, just for you to want to wear one of your old ones. How terribly unkind.” You’re pouting and it weaves itself into your manner of speech in a way that Shion finds so charming that it tugs on the corners of his lips.
“The kimono you were referring to a few days ago when you told me about this…was mine?”
“I have plenty of my own that I have made over the years. Since we have gotten married I have made even more. On top of that, you make sure to gift me fancy fabrics every time we go out, so I wanted to repay that favor,” you tell him, the end of it sounding a little flustered, and he smiles warmly.
“I will gladly wear it then,” he tells you and you smile, content now as you go to retrieve it. You leave most of the work to him, your back turned to him as a way of giving him privacy. It is only the details that you busy yourself with, helping him fix up the obi in a nice way, as well as smoothing out the odd wrinkle or two.
A happy smile tugs on your lips. “Is it comfortable?”
Shion runs his hand over the sleeves, his brows furrowing ever so slightly. “This is incredibly soft,” he mumbles softly, almost in awe. You smile triumphantly.
“I found this fabric the other day when I was out with Tenza. I wanted to make sure you get to enjoy the clothes you wear. Just for your knowledge, the color is really pretty too. A dark blue. It reminded me of the night sky so I just had to take it with me,” you explain proudly and he smiles.
“Thank you,” is all he replies but it’s filled with enough tenderness to make up for the lack of colorful words.
You feel at ease, for the first time in weeks, as the both of you walk towards the designated spot for your meeting with Tenza. Once you meet up with him and some of the other Yamada Asaemon, you feel the rest of your awkwardness dissipate.
It was fine this way. Shion could spend his evening with his colleagues and you could just stay with Sagiri and Tenza, trying out the different foods Tenza would carry over from the stalls to the blanket you were sitting on.
So that is what you do for the entire duration of the little festival. Your hand rests on Sagiri’s arm as the both of you move from one food stall to the next. She doesn’t ask any questions, seemingly knowing that there is something going on which must be solved between you and your husband.
She offers you a gentle squeeze as she rests her hand on top of yours, trying to comfort you. You smile at her but it looks awkward and wrong. The way Shion seemed more approachable again today worries you. If you return home and he ends up going back to his avoidant behavior, you don’t think you’ll know what to do.
You walk back to where the others are sitting.
It is only when everybody is knocked out from either the alcohol, too much food, or long-winded talks, that your group goes silent. Only soft conversations happen here and there. You’re seated on a soft blanket, the cherry trees blossoming around you, their petals illuminated by the moon as they drift onto the grass.
“The plum blossoms in our garden are this pretty too,” you murmur softly. Shion, who is sitting next to you, hums in reply.
“They are almost the same color, right? Both are popular topics for poetry after all.”
“I think plum blossoms are prettier,” you tell him firmly and he huffs softly. His fingers bump into yours on top of the blanket but neither of you move to change anything about that. Turning your head to look his way, you’re startled by how close his face is to yours. It’s quiet for a moment and you feel awkward.
Behind you, Tenza and Sagiri are eagerly mumbling. You catch a few words such as “kiss” and “romantic”, and heat flares up inside your chest. It feels as if Shion is playing pretend in front of everybody tonight. As if everything is alright.
But it’s not.
Getting up quickly, you dust yourself off. “We should head home. It’s late,” you declare, your tone tinged with a sense of detachment that causes Shion to purse his lips but he nods, following suit regardless. He gets up, grabbing what little you had brought along before bidding everybody goodbye and following you.
Brisk is the pace you set, your geta clacking against the floor rhythmically. Shion follows you, two steps behind you as he keeps his attention on you regardless of any distance between you. It’s noticeable and only upsets you more.
Shion tries to strike up a conversation twice. Once, by bringing up the sweets you had tried with Sagiri and the second time by asking about the view. Both times, your replies are curt and to the point, your desire to not talk to him evident.
He doesn’t say anything else.
You step inside the house first, discarding your geta and getting ready to head to your room for tonight. Your endeavor is cut short when you’re pulled back into your husband’s arms, your back against his chest.
“I am sorry if I upset you.” His words are met with silence from you and his arms tighten their hold around you in response as he whispers, “Talk to me. Please.”
“I don’t want to,” is all you reply, grabbing a firm hold of his arms and freeing yourself from his hold. Never one to get overly physical, he lets go of you easily but is persistent regardless when he follows you through the house.
When you open the door to your room, step inside, and turn around to close it, he’s quick to nudge his foot between the sliding door and the frame. Neither of you anticipates just how much power you put into sliding the door shut.
A gasp leaves you when he hisses and pulls his foot away. Immediately, you open the door and pull him inside. “Sit down and let me take a look,” you mumble, guiding him towards your futon. “I am so sorry, I really didn’t mean to. I just wanted to-”
“To shut your stupid husband out. I know,” Shion replies as he sits down, a gentle smile tugging on his lips. Regarding him with furrowed brows, you sigh softly as you sit down and grab his foot, squeezing gently.
“Does it hurt?”
“Tenza would stomp on my foot with more force than that during training back when he started. I will be fine,” he reassures you, allowing you to drop his foot on the soft futon. “I am sorry for upsetting you. That was not my intention.”
“Then what was your intention?” It’s a fair question and Shion knows this but despite his desire to tell you everything, he keeps quiet.
“I don’t mind if you aren’t by my side at all times,” you continue, “I was content just being your wife in name but when you go ahead and build up my hopes, treat me with so much care, and familiarity, just to turn around and avoid me-”
Shion feels his heart sink when your words are interrupted by a choked sob and his hands move to cup your cheeks. A Yamada Asaemon’s hands never tremble, for it would be detrimental to the techniques they use for their executions. He swings his blade with firmness, confident in the path he has chosen to tread in this life.
All of his confidence is washed away by the teardrops that run down your cheeks, his thumbs trembling as they wipe them away. Apologies are all that he manages to utter before he pulls you in for a hug.
He breathes in deeply as he holds you. “I was unaware that keeping my distance would affect you so,” leaning down, he buries his face against the side of your neck. “I suffer whenever you aren’t close but when you are close to me I suffer twice as bad. I love you deeply and I have loved you since I can remember.”
Pursing your lips, you sniffle, finding comfort in rubbing your damp cheek against the soft material of his kimono. Allowing for his words to sink in for a moment, you ask, “Is that why you were avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t avoiding you,” he murmurs softly and your breath hitches when you feel his lips against your throat. Shion takes a deep breath, “I was enduring.”
A wry smile tugs on his lips, hidden away from your sight. He huffs, finding humor in his suffering and you tremble when his warm breath washes over your skin. “The self-control I take such pride in seems to crumble so easily when you’re around me.”
His hands find your waist and his fingertips press into the fabric of your kimono with such desperation and yet, he holds back. As always. “That night…when you read to me and forgot your haori…,” he continues, going lower until his lips are just shy of touching the bit of collarbone that presents itself to him.
“It smelled so much like you that I felt intoxicated by it. Your voice kept ringing in my ears and I was aching to touch you but I couldn’t.” His voice gives way to a shuddering breath when your hands cup his cheeks.
“But you can,” you tell him, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. If this was a man’s desire - no, your husband’s desire for you, then you wish for it to swallow you whole and mold you anew.
“I’ve yearned for you to touch me,” you whisper and your breath hitches when you feel attention fully on you as he leans back from your embrace.
“You should have told me.”
“I know,” comes your reply. He doesn’t fault you and neither do you blame him in any way.
“I will make up for the lost time,” Shion promises, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead, “I will leave no inch of you untouched. You won’t ever have to ache for me the way I do for you.”
When you lean forward to press your lips against his - not in that tentative and careful way you used to, whenever you’d kiss his cheek but ardently, with a need that shakes him to his core - only then do you feel his hesitance disappear.
His hands find your waist with a firmness that you have grown familiar with and you smile against his lips, your breathing still stilted by your earlier tears. Shion notices and leans back to kiss your cheeks, right where your tears are drying.
“I love you,” he tells you again, “I love how your voice sounds in the late hours of the night whenever you read to me. The way you smell makes me feel weak, especially when the smell of your favorite sweet treats lingers on you. Whenever I am away from you, I find myself thinking about you endlessly until I come back home.”
Grabbing a gentle hold of your hand, he pulls it up to his lips, leaving a kiss on each fingertip. “I adore these hands that cause my skin to burn beneath their touch.”
“I wouldn’t want to burn you,” you whisper bemused. A smile tugs on his lips and he lets go of your hand in favor of pulling you close.
“I wish you’d burn me terribly. The pain might distract me from my longing,” Shion whispers, his breath warm against your lips. His voice is quiet and you don’t dare to breathe in fear of sending it away with the wind. “May I kiss you?”
With a soft laugh, you pull him closer, your lips meeting his in a passionate kiss. Gently exploring the other, your lips move together, falling into a comfortable, warm rhythm. You’re both a little clumsy, inexperienced, and hurried by your need but it’s sweet nonetheless and it fills the empty cup in your heart ever so slightly.
But a sip like that would not quell your thirst. Not anymore.
Your hands find the obi that they had neatly tied to hold his kimono earlier. Shion lets out a soft breath at the feeling of it untying and your hands diving beneath the fabric of his kimono. “We don’t have to-”
“I want to touch you,” you urge, firmly and in a way that won’t allow for him to question if you are doing this out of your own desire. “Don’t you think you’ve denied me your affections long enough?”
“I can share my affections with you but this is a bit…,” he mumbles, his cheeks red and you cup his cheeks.
Leaning forward, you press a gentle kiss against his lips before telling him, “If this is too hasty for you, I am willing to wait. I love you.”
The expression on his face is barely visible to you through the little moonlight that shines into your room. It’s one you haven’t seen on him before and you don’t get to decipher it for long before he moves forward to kiss you once more.
This time, he dives in to taste you, his tongue exploring yours as you engage in a heated kiss. His body presses into yours and you don’t know when it is that your back meets the futon underneath you but you don’t care enough to spend another second wondering about it.
Traveling lower, his lips find your jaw, then your throat, and your collarbone right after. The trail of kisses he leaves is hot against your skin and you find yourself feeling entirely too warm in your intricate kimono. Relief floods you when you feel his hands settle on your obi and your own hands move to help him out with the complicated bow.
Once the bow is untied and the belt is discarded, his hands move to glide over your shoulders, parting the fabric from your skin.
To his chagrin, his palms slide over another layer of fabric. A frustrated sound leaves him and you huff, amused by his antics. “Please tell me there aren’t any more layers to this. I wasn’t aware that my wife’s real identity was that of an onion.”
“Your wife likes to stay atop the latest fashion trends. There is no way I’d compromise my comfort and wear a kosode on top of my hadajuban. I’d be sweating way too much,” you explain, slipping your arms out of the fabric of your kimono and letting it fall down around you.
You could clean it later.
“Unfortunately, I think you’ll be working up a sweat regardless,” Shion teases as his hands work to untie your inner robes with such dexterity that it almost makes you feel impressed.
Your hands move to rid him of his robes and once the both of you are entirely bare, with no fabric between you to separate your bodies, you feel shyness creep up inside you. Hesitantly, your hand reaches out to brush over his chest and the way he shudders causes your touch to be firmer - more explorative and sure in its approach.
Your other hand moves to settle on his shoulder as he kneels between your legs and he allows you to acquaint yourself with his body. His own hands are resting on your thighs, balled into fists.
“You can touch me too,” you whisper, leaning forward to kiss him for a short moment, feeling as if your chest would burst if you didn’t release all of this pent-up affection. Moving your hands to his, your fingers gently uncurl his fingers from their firsts, leading them to your waist. They settle on your naked skin and he shudders visibly. A soft laugh leaves you.
An embarrassed smile finds its place on his lips and he leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours. “I am sorry but now that I get to touch you, it feels a little overwhelming,” comes his soft explanation and you smile.
Your breath gets caught in your throat when his hands slide over the curves of your waist, tracing your skin up to your chest. Carefully, his thumbs brush over your nipples, circling the sensitive nubs until they perk up under his attention. The rise of his chest speaks for his delightment and he leans lower, still hovering over you but moving lower to take your nipple into his mouth.
It’s an unfamiliar sensation, different compared to your touch. His mouth is hot, his tongue wet and soft when it licks over and around your nipple before there’s a slight sucking sensation. It sends a hot tingle down your stomach and you gasp softly, your hand finding purchase on his shoulder while the other settles on the back of his head.
Strands of silver slip between your fingers and you tug gently while his lips leave your chest, the cool air of the room brushing against your wet nipple and sending a shudder through your body. You think you can feel him smiling against your tummy as he works his way lower, down to your pelvis.
His hands are gentle as they explore your curves. Sliding along your hips before grabbing a hold of your thighs, squeezing to feel your flesh between his fingers. You wonder how all of this feels for him.
Settling on his knees between your legs, he leans back over you. Meeting him halfway, you lean up to kiss him again. The initial eagerness has died out and what you are left with is a warm simmer between your legs. One of his hands slides between your thighs, his fingers exploring eagerly. A soft gasp tears itself free from your lips and Shion asks, in a whisper, if you are alright with what he is doing.
You nod and pull him a little closer until his lips rest against your collarbone once more. His breath is heavy as he slides his fingers over your folds, cupping your mound before dipping between your lips. There’s a stutter in his breathing once he gathers some of your wetness.
A smile tugs on your lips. “What? Surprised?” you tease, moving your hips a little so that his fingers glide back and forth between your folds. He follows your motions, thankful for the bit of guidance you seem to be offering.
“Just new to this,” he murmurs, playfully nipping at your throat. “It’s a little difficult to really get a feeling for it unless you indulge in the real thing. The few drunken words of others can only provide so much information.”
Your soft laugh reaches his ears and he moves upwards until his lips meet yours once more. “So you’ve been receiving private lessons, hm?” you tease and he chuckles, his thumb finding your clit and circling the swollen nub slowly, applying gentle pressure. Meanwhile, two of his fingers dip between your folds, finding you unbearably warm and wet for him as he slides them in and then out again steadily.
The soft gasp that leaves you sends a tingling sensation up Shion’s spine and he gulps.
“They were rather unpleasant lessons, although the knowledge I have gained seems to be proving useful,” your husband shoots back with more wit than you wish he’d have right now.
A little impatient, despite your desire to take your time, your hand moves to wander across his chest, tracing the defined lines of his abs. The muscles move under your fingertips, taut and firm as you continue lower until you reach his cock.
The way your husband bucks his hips into your touch and the way his breath hitches in his throat when your fingers wrap around him diffuses your anxieties. He has half the heart to tell you that you don’t have to touch him, that this is about you but you manage to chase all of those thoughts out of his mind once you begin to stroke him.
A little too slow for his liking and a little too gentle. Even so, he doesn’t stop you or complain. His hand wraps around yours and he squeezes it gently. “A little more firmly,” he tells you and his words are so airy that it knocks the wind out of you. All you manage is a slow nod as you follow his instructions, picking up on how he seems to like it. His hands rest on your hips, one of them still wet with your desire.
You wonder if he’d touch himself like this when thinking of you - if his breath felt as hot against his pillow as it does on your skin, and if his thighs trembled ever so slightly, just as they do now.
Tugging on your wrists, he coaxes you to let go of him. Reluctantly, you follow along, immediately missing the weight of him in your hands. Was it that unpleasant for him?
As if he’s read your mind, he presses a kiss against your temple and explains, “I want you to feel good too.” Breathing out softly, you shake your head. You were ready to protest but how could you, when he says something like that?
Shifting on top of you, he moves his lips lower along your body but you stop him in this endeavor, cupping his cheeks as you pull him back up to kiss you once more. “Please,” his voice comes in such a deep, parched tone that seems to rumble inside his chest; you find it hard to focus on what he is saying. “Let me have a taste.”
And as much as you want to give in - the fantasy of his lips caressing places you wouldn’t dare ask him to kiss making you feel a heat unlike anything else - you simply wrap your legs around his hips, keeping him right where he is.
“There will be time for that later,” you tell him, and the way he swallows at that, the movement of his adam’s apple faintly visible under the light that the moon provides, tugs on the corners of your lips and makes you pull him a little closer.
“You’re terrible,” Shion mumbles, his lips finding their home on your face, over and over again, wandering from your cheek to your temple, and then up to your forehead, “Have I not waited long enough?”
Pushing his hips right up against yours, you shudder at the warm weight of his cock that settles on top of your tummy. “I think there are more pressing matters,” you argue, shifting to change the angle of your hips. A soft sigh falls from your lips when he pulls back a little before sliding back, the underside of his cock rubbing back and forth over your clit as he slides it through your folds.
His chest is pressed against yours, the weight on top of you comfortable as it presses you deeper into the sheets. Warm lips find yours once more and you have lost count of how many kisses you have shared tonight. It doesn’t matter since there will be too many to count soon anyway. You’d make sure of that.
When he finally sinks into you, it’s not as violent of a sensation as you expected it to be. Not as harsh and unrelenting as the women in your life would whisper when the men were gone.
It’s warm, almost unendurably so and yet, you wish to cling onto this warmth. The stretch isn’t painful - a bit uncomfortable at most. You’re more focused on how he feels inside you and how you find it difficult to tell which heartbeat belongs to you, his heart thrumming in his chest that is right up against yours.
Bottoming out inside you, Shion lets out a soft groan. His forehead meets yours and your breaths intermingle. “I love you,” he sighs, relieved to finally be able to say it freely and you smile up at him fondly, cupping his cheeks.
“I love you,” comes your echo to his confession before your back arches and you push up against him more when he finally moves. The drag of his length inside you burns in a way which your fingers could never hope to replicate and your toes flex, your heels arching off the futon.
A choked sound of Shion’s has your head tipping back, your eyes fluttering shut at how good and right he feels buried inside you. Your eyes burn behind your eyelids and you’re only aware of the tears that escape the corners of your eyes when Shion kisses them away.
“Are you hurting? Should we stop?” he asks, his tone ever so gentle but it’s a little strained and you think you see his cheeks flushed with such a beautiful color that you make a mental note to explore this particular hue in the morning hours, accompanied by the light of the morning sun.
The shake of your head is immediate and you whisper a soft “No”. Putting your hand on top of his that is cupping your cheek, you turn your head to press a kiss to his palm and you get to watch as the firm, upright man on top of you melts, his expression twisting into one that you finally understand.
A suppressed chuckle leaves you in the form of a shaky breath and it’s wobbly as your lips tremble. “Feels good,” is all you manage to speak and he smiles down at you fondly, prompting you to return his smile. Your cheeks hurt.
The need for conversation subsides as he begins to rock his hips into yours again, pushing himself deeper with each thrust. Your thighs begin to tremble when one of his hands slips between your bodies to find your clit, circling it once more with his thumb to help push you over the edge.
Moans, heavy breathing, and the sounds of his skin meeting yours over and over again fill the room, echoing inside your four walls in a way that would usually make your ears burn with shame. Right now, you’re freed from any sort of feeling of that sort.
Your nails dig into his back, pulling him closer as his hips move insistently and his lips lavish your throat with soft bites that he caresses with his tongue to soothe the pain. All it takes is a particular grind of his hips and his name leaves you as a choked sound, your vision turning white as you close your eyes.
It feels like all the air leaves your lungs and you feel dizzy, your walls pulsing around his shaft as your body trembles in his hold, the soft tremors continuing until he removes his thumb from you and stops the onslaught of his mouth on your body. Shaky breaths are all that leave your lips for a few moments as you finally fill your lungs greedily.
Forehead bumping against his shoulder, you keep Shion close, the quick rhythmic up and down of his chest soothing your quivering body. The man above you is breathing heavily, way more out of breath than he’d be after one of those training sessions you were allowed to watch.
A breathless chuckle leaves him as he presses a little closer and it is only then, when you feel the wet sensation between your thighs that drips down your folds and onto the sheets, accompanied by a squelching sound that shoots heat into your cheeks, that you realize he has spilled himself inside you.
“You are beautiful,” he whispers, cupping your cheeks with a tenderness that has never before been yours to claim from anyone. The way the folds around his eyes join in on his expression of joy as his cheeks push up against them while he smiles has you feeling a warmth that you wish to never miss again.
Blurry is your vision as you watch him pull out of you, making do by wiping the excess of your combined essence with the corner of his futon’s cover, before he lays down next to you. Your sniffling reaches his ears and he laughs joyfully, pulling you closer. “Cry as much as you wish to. I will be right here to wipe your tears,” he promises, chasing your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Although I do prefer you smiling and laughing.”
Wrapping your arms around him, you move as close as possible, resting your head against his chest. It’s quiet for a while; comfortable. Your breath evens out and you relax against him as his fingers trace shapes into the skin of your back. You’re too tired to decipher what kind of shapes they are.
After a while, you speak up and laugh softly at the way Shion startles ever so slightly. He must have thought you were already asleep.
“Does this mean I can come to your room and read to you again?” you ask mischievously, looking up at him with an unbearably cheesy smile pulling on your lips. You’re glad he can’t see it.
Shion smiles down at you warmly before pressing his lips against your forehead. Lingering there, he whispers,
“You may read to me in our room. Every single evening, for as long as you wish to stay with me. Every poem or story that piques your interest.”
“For as long as I wish to stay?” you ask teasingly, shifting to press your lips against his jaw. “That is going to be a long time.”
“It could never be long enough.”
A few months later it’s still warm, despite the late hour.
Too warm to stay inside, which is why you are sitting outside on the engawa, humming softly as you try not to spill the juicy goodness of your fruits onto your yukata.
“Don’t eat too quickly or you might not be able to sleep.”
Tilting your head back, you look up to see your husband hovering over you as he stands right behind you. There’s a teasing smile on his lips and the light of the setting sun illuminates his skin nicely. He looks warm.
“Oh, come on now. I am not eating that quickly,” you shoot back, opening up another plum to remove its stone, just to throw it into one of the bushes. A product of nature returning to nature. No harm done.
He chuckles, sitting down next to you, his shoulder brushing against yours. “Couldn’t find any shut-eye inside? I could give you a few tips.”
You snort inelegantly.
“It’s too stuffy and warm inside the house,” you explain, munching away on your plums. Resting one hand on the wood of the engawa, you lean back onto it. Autumn is around the corner but it’s still very warm. The ongoing heat rewards you with sweet plums so it’s a little easier to forgive the weather for now.
“You know, when I was a child I used to steal plums from my father’s trees.”
Shion tilts his head at you in a way that compels you to reach out and pinch his cheek but you hold back. “I know,” and the smile he gives you with that reply tugs your expression into one of cautious confusion.
“Did I tell you about that before?” comes your question, which your husband denies with a shake of his head. He holds a hand out to you, palm facing up. Removing the stone from a plum, you hand it to him.
“I got to eat them as well,” he explains and you look at him for a few moments, your gaze tracing the scars on his face and the way he eats the plum. Brows furrowing, he sticks out his tongue and mumbles that it’s sour and it is only then that you finally realize.
Putting your head in your hands you laugh, dumbstruck. Shion raises a brow at you, feeling a little anxious about how you’re feeling. While he did poke fun at you just now, he’s not sure if it’s all that funny to you. Maybe you’d feel differently about him now, or perhaps you’d-
“It’s not sour,” you tell him and he laughs at how you sound as if he knocked the wind out of you with one simple statement. Your shoulder bumps into his as you lean closer, grabbing a hold of his hand that rests on his lap. He intertwines his fingers with yours, bringing your hands up to his lips to press a soft kiss against your fingertips.
“You’re right. It’s sweet.”
NOTES:
Tenugui - a type of traditional Japanese towel
Hadajuban - traditional sort of underwearn, worn underneath kimono
Kosode - the direct predecessor of the kimono, short sleeved and worn underneath intricate kimono in some places when the switch from kosode to kimono happened
Engawa - A wooden terrace
—
The first poem is by Ariwara no Narihira, taken out of the KOKINSHŪ.
Frog poem is by Matsuo Bashō
“蛙 (kawazu) - Frog can also be read as (kaeru) which can be translated as “to return”, meaning that Shion was joking here about himself being the pond and the reader being the frog. She returned to him after their initial meeting
The story the reader reads to Shion is “The Narrow Road to the Deep North” written by Matsuo Bashō.
The poem where Shion is getting ready for the festival is by Ariwara no Yukihira from Hyakunin Isshu: Poem 16.
This was written before his initial full character reveal so I apologise in advance if its ooc :( | NOT PROOFREAD!!
Shion Genkai has his own way of showing his love.
He performs in a circus, so he's all about thrill and fun — that includes his feelings towards you. Other people court someone with chocolates, music, gifts — but in the eyes of a circus performer, it's bland, boring and has no sheer thrill in it.
Whenever a deadly trick was played in the circus, the adrenaline rushes within the audience, followed by silence, then a scream. While the general students cower in fear, you, a regular customer in Dionysia, stood among the crowd, clapping with a smile adorning your face.
That's when the infamous Shion Genkai takes interest in you.
The circus buzzed in joy as Shion grabs a torch, putting it on his mouth before breathing a fire, he keeps his eyes glued to your seat and seeing your face contorted in admiration, he can't help but feel the adrenaline rush in his veins — he feels thrilled.
“eek! he's staring over here again…” a general student shivered beside you. you glanced back at the stage only to find a pair of golden eyes looking at yours.
tilting your head, you gave him a small wave. In response, Shion continues his performance until the show is over.
little did you know, that small wave would change your life.
A soft sigh escaped from the young salmon-haired man, “there he goes again…” he said, looking at Shion, who strides his way towards you.
“Do you want me to stop him? I can go.” Jo suggested,
“Stop him? but it looks like Shion is on his discovery of love” Elias said, leaning on the tree, “this is the first time he took interest with someone aside from the sinostra’s captain” he added, Mio merely clicked his tongue, grumbling how Shion doesn't share the same interest in Taiga unlike yours.
Humming to yourself, you flipped the next page of the biology book, writing whatever words you can highlight in your notebook while your friend does the same.
“Hey [Name], can you— AHH!”
flinching, you snapped your head towards your friend — only to be met by a flame.
you didn't dare to move. the fire from the match almost touches your nose, if you move, your face would be done for.
Shion keep a keen eye on your reaction, with the flick of his hand, the match turns into a beautiful rose — deep red and very thorny on the sides.
“For you, my fair lady.” he hands you the rose, which you took from his offer, trying your best to avoid the thorns. You blinked, before giving a warm smile, “Thank you, that was one of the amazing trick I've seen.” you said, glancing at his bleeding hand, “are you…”
“Freetime is up, Shion. we need to head back to the circus.” Mio’s voice alerted the male. Shion huffed before turning to follow Mio and the others.
Just as he was about to leave, he turned his head at your direction, sticking out his burnt tongue, taking out a piece of poker card from his mouth before flicking it at your direction.
“Come, take a peek behind the curtain. Dionysia’s next act was rehearsed with you in mind.”
📱 an: requests are open for tkdb! god I hope I did his personality a little bit of justice | receipts
The 🍓anon is back with a new idea and of courseee I'm coming back to you to write it downnn if you can <3
Okaay sso maybe Izana- WELL NO, YK WHAT, TENJIKU HCS (if it's possible of course, if it's a lot then Izana, Kaku, Rindou Ran Shion??? I just love shion there's few content about him) with a good innocent reader, not necessarily innocent, but like, someone who doesn't get into trouble, would not hit anyone, sensitive, doesn't smoke or anything... you know where I'm getting to, right??? Well, that's my idea thxx!
Omg I love!!! Sorry this took long, but i hope you enjoy! Putting extra love into Shion's♡
*********************
Tenjiku members w/ innocent! Reader
*********************
Izana
○ I honestly think he wouldn't get it at first. Like, he doesn't understand why you're so off put by the way he sometimes hits the lower members or so casually threatens others. He's not around people like you a lot
○ it really sunk in the moment he accidentally made you cry after threatening you. It just slipped out, he didn't mean it. He does it to everyone!
○ after that tho, he did a full 180 on his behavior with you. He started being more careful with you, even treating those under him nicer when around you to keep you from getting uncomfortable. He might not be the best at showing it, but he cares. Last thing he wants is for you to hate him
Kakucho(my beloved)
○ Kakucho was definitely surprised by your innocent demeanor at first. But after a while, he swore to protect it
○ He keeps you away from everything involving the gang, especially those damn Haitani's. He's avoiding every known gang spot with you, steering you away from any dangerous face, and I someone even dares to make you cry...
○ He lets Izana meet you occasionally, but that's about it. Otherwise, he tries his hardest to keep you away from trouble. He knows you aren't weak, but if he has to see you uncomfortable or upset, it genuinely hurts him
Shion
○ I think he'd have fun with it at first. Trying to get you to smoke, pointing out small gang fights just to watch you tear up. It amuses him!
○ But if anyone else tries it, oh they're fucked! Oh that guy who tried to shove a cigarette past your lips? He isn't gonna bother you anymore. Why? Well he can't shove anything in your face with broken fingers♡
○ Despite his fucked up sense of humor, he's also such a sweetheart. He gets you all the cute stuff you like, giving even the smallest keychain to you with a face full of blush. Anything to see that smile
Ran
○ Just like Shion, he loves to mess with you, tho he's more cruel. He'd show off his bruised up hands after a fight and what's left on his baton, boasting about how good he did, all to mess with you
○ He won't ever take it too far tho. He likes to see you cry, but would never make you full on sob. That's just pure evil
○ He's learned his lesson with that when he took you to a large gang fight and you avoided him for days after. He had to apologize for days just to get you to text him. Never again
Rindou
○ Rindou isn't as cruel as his brother. He more so just smirks at your innocent demeanor and continues like normal. He doesn't care how scared or off-put you get when he talks about how he's broken other people's bones or how many fights he's gotten into
○ But he also doesn't deliberately bring you into fights or tries to get you into trouble. If it happens, it happens, and he'll protect you, but don't think he'll shelter you
○ He also definitely calls you a wimp and crybaby teasingly, laughing when you do as simple as pout at the thought of violence. What an asshole
he is an extremely loyal partner and won’t even consider entertaining anyone who tries to flirt with him or convince him to leave you. he even goes as far as repeatedly referring to himself as ‘a taken man’ just to drive the point home as much as possible
more of a listener than a talker and is more than happy to sit down and listen to you vent and gush and rant about whatever is on your mind — in fact it’s his favourite way to relax after a long day of being ‘the hollow’ (or of working in general after he gets home and gets pardoned)
doesn’t use pet names for the most part, but will very occasionally call you something like ‘sweetheart’ if he’s in an exceptionally sentimental mood for whatever reason — e.g. when he was finally able to get home to you as a free man after weeks spent apart
you’re the only one who can genuinely make him smile or laugh and he adores you for it — it’s why he’s so protective over you, because you’re the light of his life and he can’t bear the thought of losing you
he’s a very chaste kisser and while he won’t do it himself, he will usually indulge you if you happen to be a lip chaser — just not (for long) when he actually has to be somewhere very soon
if there are any chores around the house that you just cannot stand for whatever reason, gabimaru will pick them in a heartbeat — and you don’t even have to tell him that you hate taking out the bins or doing the washing up, he’s perceptive enough to notice on his own and he’ll do them for you without a word
sagiri
her favourite place to kiss you is your hands — your palms, your fingertips, your knuckles, your wrists, etc. — and she tends to stick to pretty brief and chaste kisses both in public and in private (she has an image and a reputation to uphold, after all)
sagiri tends to stick to more traditional pet names when talking to you in private — like ‘sweetheart’, ‘darling’, ‘dear’, ‘my love’, and so on — but when around others she usually just calls you your first name
very encouraging and supportive of you as she knows what it’s like to pursue a lifestyle that those around you don’t think you’re suited to — and even when she can’t physically be by your side in the moment she makes it abundantly clear before and after just how immensely proud she is of you
she has a very traditional approach to courting and dating you, which involves taking things very slowly compared to how others her age might do things — so unless you want to wait a few months for your first kiss, you’ll need to be the one to initiate (which will catch her off guard and fluster her, but she’ll appreciate and enjoy nonetheless)
she will occasionally try her hand at joking around and making puns in order to get you to laugh — and while she’s not as naturally humorous as shion is, she’s still pretty good at it
sagiri is probably one of the best people to go to when you’re feeling upset or low for whatever reason as she excels at offering assurance, comfort, and even advice sometimes — and as her lover she’s never going to turn you away if you come to her for anything like that
shion
loves to make you laugh and will take any and every chance to joke around with you — sometimes about his blindness, and occasionally about things unrelated to it (though the jokes themselves are equally corny in that same endearing sort of way)
trusts you immensely and doesn’t get jealous, but can tell when you’re starting to feel threatened and uncomfortable and will step in to remove you from a situation without hesitation if he needs to
after returning home from the island, he will occasionally enlist nurugai’s help in choosing and preparing gifts from you — using her as his eyes to help pick the most brightly coloured flowers or the clothes with the nicest pattern (situations where he knows roughly what he’s looking for but could use a bit of extra help just to make sure he gets the perfect thing for you)
touches your face and hands a lot to the point where it’s more of a habit than a conscious thing he does — it started out as him just casually learning and memorising your features and just being affectionate but after the ordeal he faced on the island he finds himself reaching for you more often than not
he talked about you a lot to others in the expedition party (after the ordeal with the tensen when he felt he could trust them, that is) and his loyalty towards and fondness for you was something that he and gabimaru bonded over (in their own way)
loyal to a fault and would throw himself onto his own blade before he let you get hurt on his watch
yuzuriha
she never stops flirting with you no matter how long you two have been together — in fact she seems to get better and better at pushing your buttons and flustering you with each week that goes by. she also flirted with you a lot before you were an item, but back then it was difficult to tell whether or not she was being genuine because of her history…
self care dates are an absolute must, especially when she comes back from that island or when she’s been out all day working and has overused her technique to the point where she feels all exhausted and gross — in other words, she loves it when you pamper her and she enjoys being able to do the same to you
you are the only person she’d put her life on the line to protect — as well as someone she is absolutely terrified of losing (even if she usually plays it off or pretends that she doesn’t have this fear at all when pressed by others)
whenever you’re injured or sick, yuzuriha becomes both very doting and very stern about your recovery — or, rather, stern by her usual standards. she’ll still keep you entertained and in a good mood, but she’s also not going to let you get away with not taking your medicine or missing a checkup because she absolutely refuses to take any chances with you or your health
she doesn’t talk openly about her family, but she has stated a few times (in quiet, solemn, private moments) that she believes her sister would have loved you
very appreciative of any compliments or praise you send her way — and while words of affirmation isn’t her main love language it’s definitely up there for her
A/N: This starts a series of several chapters like Sex Diaries but with our bread lover Shion.
Part 1 , Part 2.5 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5
The first few weeks as the new manager for tripleS were a whirlwind of schedules, but mostly routine. Early mornings for practice, late nights for recordings, endless van rides, and making sure twenty-four girls stayed fed, hydrated, and on time. Nothing too chaotic.
Except for one small, recurring detail.
Whenever the members got a little too playful, especially the pairs who loved skinship, Yubin and Jiwoo fooling around with their usual flirty teasing, hands lingering on waists or thighs during breaks, giggles turning breathy, you’d notice Shion nearby. Never joining in. Never participating. She’d just hover at the edge of the room, red hair falling softly around her shoulders, eyes quietly watching with that calm, pretty face.
You told yourself it was coincidence. She was the main vocalist, often quieter than the louder members, focused on her own thing. But it happened too often to ignore.
Then came that evening.
All schedules wrapped early for once. The dorm common area was lively as the girls unwound. Yubin and Jiwoo, as always, were at it, Jiwoo perched on the couch arm while Yubin playfully pinned her down, whispering something that made Jiwoo laugh and squirm, their bodies pressed close in that familiar, affectionate way that blurred friendship lines.
You stood by the kitchen counter, pretending to check the next day’s call sheet on your tablet. But your gaze kept drifting, not to the playful duo, but to Shion.
She sat on the far end of the couch, knees tucked up, red hair catching the warm light. Her eyes were fixed on Yubin and Jiwoo, lips slightly parted. When she felt your stare, she turned her head slowly. Her gaze locked onto yours.
It wasn’t shy. It was direct. A little heated. A look that said she’d caught you watching her watch them.
Your pulse jumped.
A minute later, she stood up smoothly and walked over, her steps light. She stopped close enough that you caught the faint scent of her shampoo, something sweet and floral.
“Manager-nim,” she said softly, voice low so only you could hear. “Can we talk? In private?”
You nodded, heart already beating faster, and led her down the hallway to the small empty practice room at the end of the dorm wing. You closed the door behind you. The room was dim, just the city lights filtering through the blinds.
Shion leaned against the mirrored wall, her red hair framing her face like fire against the pale tone of her skin. She was still in her casual post-schedule clothes: an oversized hoodie and shorts that showed off her long, toned legs. At 166 cm, she had this delicate yet athletic body that made her look both innocent and dangerously tempting.
She bit her lower lip for a second, then met your eyes again.
“I’ve noticed you looking at me,” she started, her voice quiet but steady. “When Yubin-unnie and Jiwoo-unnie do… that stuff. Playing around. Touching each other like that.”
You swallowed. “Uhh…”
“It bothers me,” she continued, stepping closer until there was barely an arm’s length between you and her. Her cheeks had a faint flush. “Not in a bad way. It makes me feel… weird. Here.” She placed a hand low on her stomach, just above the waistband of her shorts, then slid it a little lower, pressing over her lower belly. “Warm. Tight. Like something’s aching. It happens every time I see them like that. I get wet, manager-nim. And I don’t know what to do with it.”
Her honesty hit like a spark. You could see the vulnerability mixed with need in her dark eyes.
“I think about it at night,” she whispered, stepping even closer, her breath brushing your chest. “I touch myself, but it’s not enough. It just makes the feeling stronger. I keep imagining… what it would feel like if someone helped. Someone who knows what they’re doing.”
She looked up at you through her lashes, red hair spilling over one shoulder. “Can you help me? Please? I trust you. You’re our manager… and I’ve seen how you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention.”
Your hands moved before your brain caught up, one gently cupping her cheek, the other resting on her hip. Her skin was warm, soft.
“Shion… are you sure?” you asked, voice rough.
She nodded, pressing her body against yours. You could feel the quick rise and fall of her chest. “I’m sure. I want you to make this feeling go away… or make it better. Teach me what it really feels like.”
You kissed her then, slow at first, testing. She melted into it immediately, a soft whimper escaping as her arms wrapped around your neck. Her lips were plush, eager, and when your tongue slipped past them she moaned quietly, the sound vibrating through you.
Your hands explored lower, sliding under her hoodie to feel the smooth skin of her waist, then up to cup her small, perky breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra; her nipples hardened instantly under your palms. She arched into your touch, breaking the kiss with a gasp.
“Manager-nim… touch me lower,” she breathed, guiding your hand down.
You slipped your fingers under the waistband of her shorts and panties in one motion. She was soaked, hot, slick arousal coating your fingertips as you brushed over her folds. Shion shuddered, burying her face in your neck.
“Ah… it’s so much more intense when it’s not my own hand,” she whimpered. Her hips rolled instinctively against your palm as you circled her swollen clit with slow, firm strokes.
You backed her up against the mirror, the cool surface making her gasp. Dropping to your knees, you tugged her shorts and panties down her legs, exposing her pretty, glistening pussy. The red hair framing her face made the contrast even more striking as she looked down at you, lips parted, eyes hazy with lust.
You licked a slow stripe up her slit, tasting her sweetness. Shion’s hand flew to your hair, gripping tight as her thighs trembled.
“Oh god… yes, right there~~” she moaned when you focused on her clit, sucking gently while sliding one finger inside her tight heat. She was incredibly responsive, walls clenching around you as you pumped slowly, curling to find that sensitive spot.
Her moans grew breathier, higher, the “baby voice” nickname suddenly making perfect filthy sense as she whined your name mixed with soft pleas. You added a second finger, stretching her carefully, tongue working her clit faster.
“I’m— I’m close already,” she panted, hips bucking against your face. “Don’t stop, please~~”
You didn’t. You sucked harder, fingers thrusting deeper, and she came with a choked cry, body shaking as her release flooded your tongue. Her legs nearly gave out; you caught her hips, holding her steady while she rode out the waves.
When she finally caught her breath, she pulled you up and kissed you deeply, tasting herself on your lips.
“That helped… but I want more,” she whispered against your mouth, her hand boldly palming the obvious bulge in your pants. “I want to feel you inside me, manager-nim. Please fuck me.”
You lifted her easily, her legs wrapping around your waist as you pressed her back against the mirror. Freeing yourself, you rubbed the head of your cock along her slick folds, teasing her entrance. She was dripping, eager.
Slowly, you pushed in, inch by inch, her tight walls stretching around you with wet, obscene sounds. Shion’s head fell back against the glass, mouth open in a silent cry.
“So big… it feels so good,” she moaned once you bottomed out, buried to the hilt in her heat.
You started thrusting—deep, steady strokes that made her breasts bounce under the hoodie. She clung to you, nails digging into your shoulders, red hair messy and wild now. Every thrust drew fresh whimpers and gasps from her, her pussy clenching greedily around you.
“Harder,” she begged, voice breaking. “Make it go away completely—fill me up~~”
You obliged, pounding into her faster, the mirror fogging slightly behind her. One hand slipped between you to rub her clit again, and she came a second time with a sharp, keening moan, walls fluttering and milking you.
The sensation pushed you over the edge. With a low groan, you buried yourself deep and came hard, pulsing inside her as she trembled through the aftershocks.
You stayed like that for a long moment, foreheads pressed together, breathing ragged.
Shion smiled softly, a shy but satisfied little curve of her lips. “Thank you… for helping me with my weird feeling.”
She kissed you once more, slow and sweet this time.
“Next time the others start fooling around,” she murmured, eyes sparkling with mischief, “maybe you’ll look at me again… and we can do this properly in a bed.”
You chuckled, still buried inside her, already knowing this was only the beginning.
Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Delicate/Shy!Reader, and NON-PROOF READ!
𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙇 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙇 𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙂 as students went to their respective rooms in a state of hurry. In a classroom full of chatter; the story all starts.
"Yo Haitani, got any homework done?" A weird long light blonde hair male spoke sarcastically.
"Bold of you to assume that I did Homework, Shion-"
"Then, who gives a fuck?" he retorted before the other guy could finish his words. He sighed in defeat, lifting both of his feet and placing them lazily on his desk.
"We can just bribe the teachers to pass us, that's easier than doing the hardwork." His companion added sneering.
"You think those shits will even fall for that?" Shion replied irritated. He burried himself from his thoughts as he ignored his companions blabbering and annoying remarks and ideas.
"Woah, who's that chick?" He suddenly woke up from his thoughts and heard his companion who's gaze was focus on a unfamiliar girl walking inside their classroom along with their other feminine classmate. Shion's eyes lingered towards the new girl closely then unexpectedly made eye contact with her after the girl felt eyes were on her.
Shion brushed it off and decided to kick the person who was seated up front of his and questioned them.
"Oi, who's that new girl? Haven't seen her before." The young lad infront of him flinched as he answered alarmed by the sudden act.
"Sh-She's the new girl I suppose our teacher proclaim from last week you were absent..." Shion kept his focus on the girl while listening.
"Dang she looks simple and normal."
"she's pretty boring"
"you mean 'Pretty' pretty boring or Simply boring?"
"Simply boring" Shion snickered as they continued mockingly insulted the girl in the meantime.
"You may all take your seats." The students across the room took their seats
"Okay, as I said from last week you'll be having a new classmate from now on." He announced, unbothered from the loud chattering and excitement of the students.
He cleared his throat and continued, "I expect for everyone to welcome her with open hearts and respect."
He silently walked off to the side, the girl from earlier walked in front of the whole class holding seemingly a spare notebook.
The whole class that was filled with loud and noisy chatter died down as they awaited for the introduction.
Shion and his companion; Ran, surprisingly kept quiet and also waited from their seats.
Curiosity held their gaze.
Seconds later, the girl up front of the whole class opened the notebook from her hands.
' Hello Everyone, I'm (Last Name) (First Name). It's nice to finally meet you all.'
Those words were written in her notebook as she showed it to the class. The once quiet room was soon be initiate a lot of whispering and weird glances from her classmates along the two delinquents at the back.
The girl up front ignored them and continued to flip a new page
' I'm mute '
Another was written on the new page she opened but this time silence took over the classroom as the students inside understood and most likely they felt bad in some kind of way.
A sudden snicker was heard and their gaze instantly fell on the two delinquents who was covering their mouth with the back of their hand and avoiding contact with anyone.
"What's there to laugh and snicker about Madarame, Haitani?" their teacher spoke eyeing the two male with a cold demeanor.
"No-nothing Sir-" Shion blunder, trying to stop himself from a fit of laughter.
"Get out of my classroom. THE TWO OF YOU, you'll both get back inside once this period is over." Their teacher irked as he slammed their Chalk board; angered and bothered.
Their teacher calmed down and changed his focus to the new student; who was still standing up front in embarrassment.
" You may take a seat next to Kurokawa." He spoke pointing to a tanned skinned boy across the room who lazily raised his hand from the mention of his surname.
"I expect no reports about bullying with both of your name mentioned." The teacher gave the two a short warning after the first bell rang again
"I'm done with your problematic and troublesome asses, the both of you. Especially you Madarame." They glared before telling them to get back to their classroom.
The two went back in, unbothered and was instantly welcomed by their class president.
"Hey Madarame, Can you please remove and dust off the chalk dust from the eraser?" She said placing the eraser on Shion's hand.
"Don't worry about them (Name)! You did pretty great good" Shion heard his classmate; glancing at the new girl across the room.
A sudden Idea pop up on his head as he smirked. His other companion who was seated by next to the girl seemed to noticed this.
Laying his head down, and Shion took the opportunity to toss the eraser towards the girl
BANG-
and in an instant the eraser had collided with the girl's head and the dust along with
it. It bursted around her figure and earned multiple reactions inside the classroom.
"Headshot!!" Shion exclaimed as he gave Ran a high-five beside him that was laughing along with him. Izana sat back up and snickered as he took glances to his new seatmate beside him.
"Madarame!" Their class president shouted in a panic as he eyed the boy infront of her with wide and shocked eyes.
"Holy shit (Last Name) are you okay?" A student went up to her and wiped the chalk dust out of her face using their handkerchief.
"What the fuck Madarame?!"
"He's crazy!" the others laugh as they covered their mouths and held their stomach.
(Name) quickly took her handkerchief in her pockets and brushed off the remaining chalk dust.
"Are you okay (Last Name)?" the feminine looked up to her classmate and softly nods her head reassuring them.
She took the eraser from the ground and made eye contact with the person who caused it. She slowly made her way to them and took his hand surprising him.
Softly but surely she placed the eraser back in his hand and went back to her seat; looking unbothered.
This froze the young lad from his spot as his gaze went to the eraser on his hold and to the new girl, repeatingly.
"Woah- someone suddenly broke." Ran poked Shion's shoulder noticing he stood still from his spot and kept taking glances from the eraser and back to the girl.
The incident was long forgotten after days has passed but-
It sparked a new feeling inside of the boy.
They continued the bullying towards the poor feminine. From taking her things and hiding it from them, pranking her, scaring her, hurting and other more. But the girl never showed a negative facade infront of them...she instead seems unbothered or unaffected with their pranks.
"Why do you keep picking on her Shion?" Ran suddenly mentioned as him and shion along with his brother walked around the school hallways.
"Who?"
"The only one, (Last name)"
Shion suddenly thought of it deeply as he took a moment to think.
"The mad dog is fucking thinking-" Ran let out slightly surprised but mockingly.
"Like I said she's pretty boring and I only helped her out by making her life less boring." Shion said before drinking from his soda can.
"Are you being for real or sarcastic?" Rindou asked curiosly.
"I'm being actualistic." Shion retorted
"Nah, lying isn't good Shion. HE pretty much loves her attention, let's say he's being romantic"
Ran joked and it Shion suddenly felt a weird feeling but nonetheless ignored it and attacked Ran's remark.
"Bro- ew. I FUCKIN HATE HER."
"That's disgusting bro, who would want to date a mute girl? She can't even talk. And she keeps making this annoying hand gestures at class. Like is she doing some type of hand seals like ninjutsu or something?"
Shion mumbled and continued to ramble about the girl.
" I pretty hate her smile- isn't it annoying? She doesn't cry for help or look scared. And she looks like a owl when she listens to her friend. AND everything about her is my biggest ick."
"Calm down, I think you're being too defensive or what" Rindou sighed crossing his arms
"I am not. Your brother is being a bitch
here-"
Shion's POV
I got ticked off after someone bumped into me, Ran and Rindou are not even helping and continued to fucking annoy me and this person just added to the fuel.
"Fuck off you bitch. Watch where you're going." I let out pushing them out of my way and glanced at the before realizing the familliar (Hair color) and hair style.
"Oh it's you." She looked up and held a calm and genuine facade as she smiled at me. The fuck she smiling at?
"Tsk, you can't even speak and you can't fucking see. What's next? You can't fucking hear?" I said mockingly
"Gosh, I hate to see your face every day. It annoys me so much." I added, feeling the urge to grab her from her hair and humiliate her right here and right now but I seem to set aside that idea behind.
"Shut your goddamn mouth Madarame." Her friend Akari spoke while glaring at me.
"Why won't you fuck off with your little muted friend?" I retorted when unexpectedly a bento was shown at my point of view.
This girl... What is she doing?
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"Obviously- She's giving you a bento." Her friend spoke hesitating while looking down
"Why the hell would she give me her lame bento?" I felt a light tap on my shoulder and glanced at Rindou beside me to see him pointing at a note on top of the bento.
'I made an extra one and I wanted to give it to you after noticing sometimes at lunch you don't eat nor buy something at the cafeteria :))
signed, (Last Name)'
I took the bento from her hands and opened it to see a neat and nice meal prepared. I felt my body tense before hearing Ran whistling in a mocking tone.
I scoffed then seconds later, I dumped the fully made bento from her head and it all fell out to her form. I snickered and threw the bento box across the hallways and the other students stood there watching us interact.
I almost forgot we're in the open
"There all better! pretty much didn't go to waste." I laughed and walked passed them with the brothers following behind laughing and sneering.
"(Last Name)!" I heard someone called out to her then felt a tug on my sleeves to see her having another bento in her hand.
"What the heck are you doing (Name)!?" Akari exclaimed running up to us with her face reddened a bit.
"Tsk, can't fucking understand a simple word now?" Feeling Irritated, I aggressively pulled out my arm away from the girl.
"Want me throw that bento too?" I added
"Isn't that your bento, (Last name)? Why are you giving it to him?" Ran taunt with a chuckle
"Just accept it Shion, Izana and the others are probably waiting already. Stop being arrogant" Rindou joined in
"He's shy now~"
2nd Person POV
You suddenly felt a harsh and strong grip from your arm and saw Shion gripping it. He raised your arm a bit and stared at you, and you seemed to notice his stare that can be seen as full of hatred but... You felt his stare was the opposite of it
He slowly spoke in a angered and threatening way at you,
"I fucking despise you, you know that right? So Leave my fucking sight before I won't show any mercy on beating you up right here and humiliate you."
Before pushing you to the floor he took the bento from your hands and stood there coldly. He left without any word and you stayed there proud of yourself.
What are you proud for?
Proud of being humiliate in the halls and by him? Or
Proud that you're being bullied by him and his friends?
Or-
"(Name)! What the heck are you doing- I told you this isn't a good idea" Akari sat beside you as she dusted the few remaining foods that Shion dumped at you.
You felt a bit of relief; you smiled in victory, and Akari who noticed this sighed in defeat.
"For a quiet and mute girl, I didn't expect you to be the opposite of what I imagine." she muttured in a worrying tone as she looked at you.
You and Akari walked outside and sat at a nearby bench to eat your lunches but out of your mind, you gave yours to your bully. Akari looked at you weirdly then took out a salmon from her bento with her chopsticks and held it up near your face as she spoke;
"Here, Open wide (Name)" she brought up the salmon to your lips and you accepted it.
She softly smiled at you as you ate the salmon
"I still don't get it why do you have the urge to be nice and act soft to Madarame and his friends... Are you plotting something (Name)?"
She said her voiced laced with wonder and confusion. You shook your head in response
"I'm starting to feel like you're having Stockholm syndrome already- you need help (Name)." Akari joked
' I'm not being held hostage at all what do you mean?' You signed confused
"I'm joking (Name) don't take it seriously."
"Still why are you being nice to Madarame though? It's been months ever since you transfered here and the bullying happened."
'I just felt like it' You signed and earned a confused response from your friend
"You felt like it to be nice with him? That's crazy. I don't think I'm sure but do you like him then? "
' No? It's the exact opposite.'
"Huh? So you hate him?"
'Yeah' you signed and another confused gaze was shown to Akari's face and a look of disbelief.
"Well, Mom once said Love my enemies-"
"What the fuck No! Oh gosh no wonder you're acting like that." She let out and continued on lecturing you but you sat there from your seat and let yourself engulfed with your own thoughts instead.
You caught a glimpse of a memory that you had when you had eye contact with him the first day when you entered your classroom.
You wanted to try understand him
That's all
Right?
On the other hand,
"And that's what happened!" Ran was telling his friends about the 'bento' incident that occured as the others listened and added comments from time to time.
Shion kept quiet as he stared at your homemade bento and ignored his companions.
"You should probably eat that or that will get cold." Rindou that was on his phone beside him spoke.
"No way in hell." Shion answered
"Suit yourself I guess."
"You're pretty lucky you were given a bento to be honest. None of us experienced that especially for someone to cook for you." Kakucho uttured taking a peek at the bento on Shion's lap
"You hand it to me instead, Shion. if you don't want it!" Ran sat beside him as he wrapped an arm around Shion's shoulder playfully
"Keep your greedy hands to yourself Haitani." He uttured annoyed as he stood up and avoided the oldest.
"Shion's being soft now huh? Did that mute girl from our class made you have a change of heart?" Izana joined in, teasing his companion with a slick smirk forming on his face.
"People change" Ran added
Shion angrily gritted his teeth and sat beside mochizuki and izana
"Piss off Ran!"
You were in class with Akari sitting on your desk as she would tell you the gossips she heard around. You looked for your phone as you listened to her until you realized you left it inside the shoe locker...
How did it even got there?
'Akari, I accidentally left my phone at my shoe locker.' You signed as you got up
"How did you even left your phone there?" she commented following behind your steps as both of you reached the doorway. You looked behind you to glance at Akari and gave her a look when out of the ordinary you crashed into someone's broad chest.
You took a step back and eyed the male infront of you. It was Shion, looking at you with his expressionless face.
You expected him to give you an insult or any bad remarks about you...
however, to your surprise he didn't and just stared at you for good 5 minutes straight before walking pass you like nothing happened.
Behind him was Ran and Izana that both held a smirk up on their faces.
You stood there bewildered until Akari nudged you and uttured
"We can talk about this later- the bell will ring in any minute and you left your phone at your goddamn Shoe locker." She whispered for you to only hear and dragged you out of the room.
"I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her-"
Izana walked up back to his friend after placing the empty and cleaned bento to someone's desk which were belonged to you after Shion pleaded his friend to do it for him after feeling a not so familiar inside his chest.
The tanned male stood by his companion's desk after reaching him then he heard the oblivious guy mumbling to himself.
Raising his brow at him, he found himself not used to this new behavior.
"He has been like that since he walked in the classroom after his interaction with (Last Name)" Ran smiled tauntingly, noticing Izana's confused face.
"Shut up you motherfucker!" Shion cursed while slumping himself on his desk.
"If you hate her so much why are you acting like that?" Izana said occupying the empty seat beside Shion.
"Time flies eh? Shion is a teenager now..."
"I'm 18! EIGHTEEN"
"Yet you act like a teenager Shion." Izana stood up and walked back to his seat after hearing the bell.
"Don't worry your secret is safe with us~" Ran lazily walked back to his desk and relaxed; glancing back at Shion to see him all stressed and messed up.
"I'll beat you after class Haitani!"
"..." Shion stood still on his spot as he watch you brought him another bento with a note on top; 'Don't forget to eat! Stay healthy all the time Madarame-san.'
"Are you bribing me or what?" Shion asked as he suspiciously eyed the bento and you repeatedly
Instead of insulting and belittling you like he always do, he took the bento from your hands and averted his gaze from you.
You were happy,
Super happy.
'Enjoy your meal, Madarame' You signed
He looked back at you and saw you signed, he tsked before bumping into you and walked out of your sight and it made you stumble back a bit from the impact of his shoulders colliding with yours.
' What the fuck is she tryna say?' He thought
Then Realizing his actions, Shion quickly sped up and tried finding his friends.
This continued on and on, With you giving Shion his very own bento that was prepared by you everytime lunch break hits.
And slowly but surely, everyone and also you noticed the slight changes of Shion's behavior.
He became less arrogant...
He seems to go to school regularly like a normal student would
His bullying cases slowly died down
He was more calmer than before
But he still does find fights after and before school sometimes during the weekends too with his group.
Shion's POV
"Have you heard about that new gang around Shibuya?" Ran spoke as me and his brother listened.
"Yeah? What about them?"
"I heard they're lurking around here in Yokohama, let's beat them up yeah?" Ran chuckled lightly as he wrapped an arm around my and his brother's shoulder.
"Come on, you two are no Fun at all ! Y'all too cold..."
As we three walked our way back home, we came across two other delinquents wearing a not so familliar gang uniform were strolling and entered an alleyway.
Me and Ran had hit a jackpot as we followed behind them and entered the alleyway, as we got closer and closer we heard a fit of laughter.
"Oi girly, watcha doin protecting that thing in the middle of the alley? Got your mind lost or something~?"
I decided to observe the surroundings; there are about 10 people here wearing the same gang uniform as they circled.
I felt Rindou shaking my shoulders as he stared at me with full caution and whispered; I felt my blood boiling after hearing it.
"Don't make a move once I fucking tell you this. My eyes may be deceiving me but they're surrounding (Last Name). We don't know what they are capable of so follow-"
I didn't wait for Rindou to finish as I ran fast as I can towards them, hearing the two brother's calling out my name.
"Shion! Goddamn it!"
"Shion!"
My fist came contact with the nearest guy and I slammed him towards the ground surprising the others. I was quick on my feet as I started beating one of them one by one with Rindou and Ran fighting the others. I continued striking them in the guts with my fist as we finished them off.
Dropping the last guy down by his shirt collar and kicking him from the stomach as he moved and yelled out from the pain.
Moments later I glanced back at her, what was she doing here? This wasn't the way to her house nor a shortcut.
I walked up to her; angered. I crouched down beside her form and grabbed her uniform's collar.
"What the fuck are you even doing here in the first place you bitch?" She was hanging her head low while hugging something, what is it? Something valuable to her?
"Can you even hear me?"
"What would've happened if we didn't plan on following these guys? What would've happened to you huh?!"
"You're fucking mute! YOU CAN'T TALK NOR SCREAM FOR HELP. What could've happen if we didn't went home early?" I suddenly felt Ran holding me back up as he tried calming me down.
"That's enough you're thrashing her around." I looked back at him with a dumbfounded look and retorted
"Why do you care!? It's not like I'm not doing that to her months ago? Just because I had a slightest change in me doesn't mean I'm like this permanently." I glared as I removed his arms around me and went back to her form
"What's that in your fucking arms?" I heard a sudden 'meow' coming from her, with force I grabbed both of her arms and opened them to see a kitten laying on her lap. Her arms were now bruised up and full of scratches from the cat.
"You went here to protect a fucking animal? Are you dense?" I mumbled irritated
"I said, You went here to fucking protect a goddamn animal?! For you to fucking be in the open for those idiots!"
"What the heck are you thinking?!" I saw her shook her head slowly before retrieving her arms back and from my hold. I ran my hand up at my hair frustrated and glanced back at the two behind me.
"You two go ahead without me."
"Ye-yeah... Sure"
The brothers already left as I looked back at her and took a deep breath, before talking calmly.
"Let's go, it's not safe here."
"..."
"I'll take you home." she slowly looked up at me and made eye contact. I stood up and gripped her right wrist to bring her up to stand.
I dragged her out of the alleyway and walked towards the direction of her home from what I remembered. I noticed the cat she protected followed us. Out of the blue I felt her ran back and she carried the cat in her arms then after back to my side.
I grabbed her wrist again, ignoring the animal in her arms and continued on walking up front with her; just letting herself be dragged by me.
We both kept quiet as we walked home together especially me.
It was sudden but this also continued everyday and it became our daily routine.
Giving and offering me her homemade bento, adding sticky notes with positive messages, her soft smiles every time we had eye contact, and our first time walking home together might be awkward and uncertain but I insisted to walk her home home starting that day.
Ever since she went here to our school, everything changed. Because of her, I don't know why but I hated it...
I'm not used being treated like this, I'm not used treating someone like this neither. I'm not used to everything that is happening.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Is this part of adulting years already? What is this warm feeling? What should I do?
I fucking hate it... I FUCKING HATE HER.
A Few months later
"Hey Madarame, you're in cleaning duty today!" Class president yelled out loud reminding me before leaving the classroom along with our classmates.
"tsk" I purposely dropped the chairs and moved them one by one to their specific places.
"Hey Madarame, (Last name) is waiting for you again- oh nevermind." I heard someone uttured teasingly but his voice died down seconds later. I raised a brow at it but shrugged it off before continuing to clean and help out the others.
"Don't worry about (Name) she'll be fine." Akari unexpectedly mumbled while carrying a desk.
"I know that. Stop bugging me and finish your task." I said
"Hmm, okay." She hummed nervously, leaving me alone.
"Are you and (Name) a thing already?" Akari ran up behind me as she spoke,
"No, we're nothing but classmates."
"So not your victim anymore?"
"Can you not? That's from the past you psycho."
"So- where's (Name)?" Akari looked around as we reached the school gates.
"I don't know? Maybe-"
"I like you." Akari said cutting me off while looking at me from the corner of her eyes.
"Huh?"
"I said I like you, Idiot."
I LIKE you ever since I noticed you change... Ever since you became soft and calmer-
I kinda developed feelings for you overtime. I know it's sudden but, yeah.
I like you so much Shion for the past months and I can't handle seeing you around (Name) all the time.
I should be the one you're walking home with and not her-" I stood there not caring as I realized what she meant.
"You liked me because I changed?"
"Yeah... That means I could change you,
I'll take care of you and change for the better...
Shion, please consider my feelings-"
"It's Madarame." I said cutting her off this time
"What?"
"It's Madarame, Akari. We're not in first name basis. And I don't like you." I said straight out as I looked around while avoiding her gaze.
Her confession felt so... Bothersome and it's bothering the heck out of me, making me in a sort of panic or what.
"If I were the guy you met for being a bully, a delinquent, and a fuckin mad dog. What would you do?"
"We-well... Honestly I would give my best and I know for a fact you'll change soone-"
"I'm out, goodbye Akari."
If you're only here because you saw me change, then heck no.
Everyone doesn't understand.
no one
fucking does.
I walked ahead as I ignored Akari's pleads and calls. I walked past a convenience store and saw her. I was shock at first, I expected her to wait for me outside the school but why was she all alone here? She went ahead by herself.
3rd Person's POV
Shion spotted (Name) leaving the convenience store, Shion walked up to her and it startled (Name).
" I'll carry those." Shion pointed out the few things she bought from the convenience store she hastily handed the plastic bags to him and walked together.
He noticed the girl was a bit down judging from her face and energy.
"why are you so down today, idiot?" He asked his voice laced with irritation.
(Name) could only shook her head to protest but the boy was persistent.
"Did you... know your friend Akari will confess?" (Name) was hesitating at first but in the end she nods her head confirming his question.
"When someone tells you that, fucking decline it. I rather walk home early than being held back for some random confession."
The two remain quiet as they walked down the empty streets, only silence can be heard. As they continued to walk Shion decided to open up
"I fucking hate it."
He mumbled
"I fucking hate you. You fucking did this to me- I fucking hate it.
I was alright and my life is perfectly
the way I wanted it before you showed up and make me feel this kind of things."
(Name) stopped from her steps.
Looking back at Shion with her soft and warming gaze as she slowly pointed to herself and shook her head then after; pointing it towards the boy.
"Me? You think I did this?" He seemed to understand the girl, he asked a bit surprised.
He watched the girl taking her phone and typing her words. As she showed him her screen he read all each words carefully.
(Last name) (Name):
_______________It was not my fault you
changed I didn't even knew it
Would change you in the future.
I did not intend to change
you nor planned changing
you. I just wanted to help
and understand you.
_______________
18:13
She took back her phone and continued typing as he stood there waiting,
(Last Name) (Name):
_______________
I Hated you
______________
18:13
(Last Name) (Name):
_______________
But I was taught to loveMy enemies not hate them.In the end nothing will everChange if you hate themTo the core. Loving themWas also the best optionAnd to understand them.
_______________
_______________
Even though I hated you,I couldn't hate you for long.I knew that you're just beingYou or you're having problemsDealing with life or everyoneAround you, so you becameWhat you were when I met orBefore I even met you. You wereSeen as self-centered and arrogantBy others but once they'll get to knowYou, you're not that bad.
_______________
18:14
Shion chuckled reading the last sentence as you took out your phone again to type the things you wanna say, the guy patiently waited for you to finish.
(Last Name) (Name)_______________
I did found out the slightChanges in you after aFew weeks. But, instead ofChanging like you said; I seeYou improving. You'reGrowing up Madarame'
______________
_______________
I pretty much enjoyedYour company afterA few months. AndIt's good to see you inGood shape._______________
_______________
' You can just be youAround me, I knowIt sounds cliche butHey, you can beComfortable around meI'm used from the bullying.'
_______________
18:14
Shion chuckled for the last time before holding your wrist and walked ahead of the two of you with a smile on his face.
"I hate you." He said; seconds later he received a slap from his shoulders as he looked back and saw you type on your phone.
(Last Name) (Name)_______________
I spent minutes typing
Everything you just
Laughed and you still
Hate me? Woah that's
Cute.
_______________
18:15
"Why? You thought you'll receive something from me with your dedicated and positive message?
I'M NOT that type of guy (Name)."
The hand that was holding your wrist were wrapped around your shoulders as he pulled you closer towards him.
'He said my name' (Name) thought as she avoided his gaze and looked down; flustered.
"Thankyou for confirming my thoughts too" He added
"From now on, I'll choose the best option."
(Name) felt him hesitate as she made eye contact with him again; she felt the same feeling again when they had their first eye contact on her first day or the first time they met.
"If I changed my mind or simply correct myself then..."
"Loving you is the best option then?"
That's right....
I wasn't hating them because I hate them.
I was 'hating' them because they made me feel special in a way I couldn't understand back then.
Because I loved them, I didn't want to accept that I love them and I was falling for them.
Maybe I hated the feeling of
love.
But now, it feels warm and nice...
Realization hits different eh...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yeah
I Love them.
Note: Non-proof read! Though I remembered liking this one from the rest! This is heavily inspired from the most wholesome movie 'A Silent Voice' with Shion's Version! He kinda cute so i gotta make him too
PUBLISHED DATE :June 24, 2024 (REPUBLISHED)
ONESHOT TITLE : "Love Or Hate"
ᯓ★୭˚ We've all seen the nervous loser Takemichi becomes around Hina even when they're already together, so i just need you to picture the walking disaster he is before you get together. I won't lie, he's not much better even when you finally become a couple, but it's definitely not as bad as it used to be before that. He's sweating and his face is bright red and he's stuttering and tripping over his words, while you're just helping him out with some school subject. He'll move his hand slowly towards your in hopes to hold your hand, but the second he actually touches your hand he jolts he got electrocuted and moves his hand back away. And if you reach out and hold him hand with no comment and no second thought it's over for him. Brain is melting, words stuck in his throat, frozen in place. Give him some time to get used to it, he hasn't had someone actually want him before.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ Despite being a genuine person with good intentions, Akkun fumbles bad before you get together. Or at least he thinks so anyway. He gets flustered SO easily. You could just be asking him how his day is going and he'd get all shy and squeamish like "omg they actually wanna know??". And remember how he's a hairdresser in the timeskip? When he finally gets a bit more courage to actually do anything really, he will SO be asking you to style your hair. However you want, in whatever you you picture, he's doing it so carefully and so gently. And with you, he's taking his sweet ass time. I mean, you're here and you're letting him do your hair and you're both happy about that too. That's probably the best way to keep you around for longer in his book. He genuinely loves spending time with you, but he's too shy to tell it to your face.. at least it's obvious, so you'd know even if he can't tell it to you directly yet.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ Now i have no idea how or why you even chose Makoto, and he doesn't know either, but best believe he's not playing about you. Maybe some higher power smiled at him for 0.03 seconds and got you to look in his direction or he was a saint in a previous life, or some other ridiculous theory he has on what on earth made you want him. And that only makes him more serious about you. He's down bad and he makes it everybody's problem. He's shameless too. I swear he's doing the corniest fucking things and he thinks he has crazy game. He's flirting with you like there aren't people around, he's holding your hand like it's stuck to his and taking you on ice cream dates (it fell and stained his shirt).. he's doing his best, man. I could also touch on his equally shameless pervert business, but I'd rather not. That stays between him and you, and your unfortunate neighbours.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ Ever the sweetest and calmest person to be around, Takuya feels like he's gonna have a heart attack when you're around. He's sweating, he's having heart palpitations, his hands are shaking and somehow he still keeps a relatively neutral face trough it. If you dont know how horribly red he looks. He's pasty pale, so that only makes his blush a bit more concerning if you don't know what exactly makes him so red. Pair that with how he's stuttering and tripping over his words and you could genuinely think he's getting sick. Not gonna lie, if he's actually a bit sick he's gonna milk it as much as he can. Sure, he feels guilty for having you fret and worry about him so much, but he can't help himself. Having you taking care of him so sweetly won't help him with any of the supposed symptoms, but he's having the time of his life. Having you look after him, feeding him, checking his temperature.. Let him have this much, he's gonna return your kindness later.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ You must really have a thing for boy failure nerds if you want Yamagishi, but i understand you. He's too cute for his own good. With these bigass glasses framing his soft face. And with his big wet brown eyes. And his soft hair and silly hairstyle. And his voice. And how much of a dowrk he is UGH. With how painfully cute he is, you're amazed nobody else has tried their chances with him. Maybe his neverending yapping sessions that seems to come up at least three times a day could be a turn off for most people, but that's literally his appeal. Yes, babe, talk to me about the gangs and their leaders again. I wanna listen. That being said, he can also make a great listener too. Everything and anything you say he sucks up like a sponge and uses that information for later. You could be talking about the weirdest fucking thing you're fixating on in that moment and he'd be taking mental notes. He remembers and he makes plans for later. If you've mentioned even just a few cute aquarium videos he's already researching the best aquariums around and what's the best time to take you there, and takes extra money to buy you a cute souvenir from there on top of that. Extra points if you find something matching. On that note, he's a SUCKER for matching with you. It just makes him feel all pink and giddy when he sees you're just as happy to match with him - to want people to associate you with each other so openly. He's a major sap, and still he becomes cherry red if you return his energy even in the slightest. Holding his hand first, fizing his glasses or clothes for him, playing with his hair, hugging him, leaning your head on him... he's painfully easy to fluster, and he's just as achingly cute. You know what you should do, though? Put on your best lipstick as kiss him silly. Leave the lipstick marks all over his face, maybe some on his shirt too. Let them smear. If he has to go somewhere he's gonna wipe it off, but he's not gonna do it well. In the end he's wiped off most of it, but there's still some smears and one or two marks he missed. And he's gonna be walking around like that until someone maybe tells him. And even then he won't feel too ashamed - he somehow bagged you, so what's so wrong with people seeing it?
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ Now i know Chifuyu isn't the biggest loser, but that doesn't erase the fact that he reads shoujo religiously and treats it like classified information, and also he let his best friend beat the soul out of him, and he's awkward as hell and.. yeah, he's still kind of a loser. And best believe he's gonna be trying to pull that shoujo stuff on you too. When he gets the balls. Until then, he's daydreaming and staying awake at night, fantasizing about sharing an umbrella to shield you from the rain, catching you when you slip and fall or, what he's most ashamed of, the sick and the beach episode experience. God forbid someone Baji actually finds out about what's he's thinking over so much, he wouldn't let Chifuyu live that down to the day he dies. And in spite of that, the second the opportunity to actually experience that presents itself, he clams up. He's dying on the inside and asking god WHY he put him in that situation now. He won't miss his chances though. Best believe he's making the best of it, even if he's practically dying from embarrassment. And in the end, he actually manages to get one of these - he makes the best shoujo confession he could make by himself. And with the help of a few friends.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ Don't let this idiot fool you with his big fat mouth and with his cartman-level obese ego, Shion is the biggest loser to walk around. He's so down bad it isn't even funny, and he knows it damn well. Pray for whoever tries to clown him on that because not only does Shion feel no shame about it, no, it's the opposite - he's proud of himself. Very proud at that. He won't shut up about how perfect you are and what a baddie he bagged. That's a lie. He didn't bag you. YOU bagged him. Threw him over your shoulder ans he just decided he wants to stay there. He knows ut damn well too, but he'll give up on that fuckass haircut before he actually admits it to anyone. You and him know it and that's enough. On that note, he's gonna be showing you off at any and all opportunity given. He's gonna create an opportunity to brag about you himself actually. He won't shut up. He doesn't even know why you decided you want him, but you did and he's gonna take that as a life achievement. He's gonna fuck up at some point, he knows it, and even then he's gonna swallow his pride and actually apologize and try to make it up to you. He won't live it down if you don't forgive him. Def a "my girl is mad at me i hope i die" type.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ Is it really a rant about losers if Shinichiro isn't even mentioned? It's a well-known fact, but he's a major simp. The most down-fucking-horrid man to ever walk on earth. You CANNOT beat this man in this. Don't get me wrong, he's kinda emotionally constipated and it doesn't always cone out the right way, it's written on his forehead how smitten he is. He's not used to someone genuinely wanting him the way he wants them, so it takes some time to get used to it. Suddenly he's got a reason to try not to take too many hits when he's in a fight - he wouldn't want to worry his babe too much, no? He's still getting used to someonehe has to keep himself safe for, other than his siblings. On that note, he's be THRILLED if you get along with them well. To be fair, it isn't hard to get then to like you. Though Shinichiro would have to endure some emotional damage at first💀 You'd have two tiny blonde kids asking you if you're really his girlfriend or if he's making you do this somehow.. in the end, they act like they love you more than Shinichiro himself. And honestly? He won't even complain. He totally understands them.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ He thinks he's so mysterious, but Takeomi is the equivalent of that dude that barely shows up to class and you're amazed he's even graduating this year. The second you enter his field of vision he straightens his back from the shrimp pose it's usually in and makes a concious effort to look at least a bit better. While you're talking with him he might pull out a cigarette if you're outside, you know, to soothe his nerves. He can feel himself sweating at the thought of embarrassing himself, and hopefully you won't mind if he smokes? And hopefully it makes him look cooler too.. and honestly, if that's your thing, he probably does look hot smoking. His stink breath after a cigarette isn't as hot, though. He's trying his best to impress you without doing too much, that's his main flirt strategy. Not that it's really noticeable anyway.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
ᯓ★୭˚ Listen. Listen. Benkei has no game. Not if he tries to anyway. He can be real smooth if he's not thinking about it, but the second he realizes he's into you its over between him and his ocassional good tries. I wish i was kidding. The second he tries to sound smooth it's gonna come out the dryest, most awkward way possible. And the way he's staring either at the floor or at your soul isn't really helping that either. Words just aren't really his thing.. on the other hand, he can be real good at being there for you. He can carry your pretty girly bag, he can take your groceries to your home, he can give you a ride to the motorcycle to wherever. He just has to mind his words, because not only is the painfully bad at actual flirting, but also because whenever be tries to tease you it might come out lowk mean. He doesn't mean anything in that way, but his tone and the way he says stuff would make you think otherwise. "Did you just genuinely just fucking do that?" or ".. yea, i guess being an airhead isn't easy on you." yeah no... So he keeps his mouth shut and does his best to impress you with how dependable he is. Until he learns to control his trap at least. Also, he gives me the vibes of someone with a guyliner. He def cakes that shit on, but at least it makes his eyes pop.
