#toxic codependency

[mx-pokirby]

Decay Part 1 was hitting bullseyes the whole time but one of the most overlooked lines that stuck with me like a sleeper agent is the one at the end of Andrew's mental dissection where he point-blank admits to Lord Unknown that by this point his educated guess/rationalization about his attraction to Ashley is more than not purely, keyword, pathological.

I take this to mean he recognizes it like a self-defense mechanism which was ingrained in him as effectively a trauma response of never being able to gain independence from her. Thus, if can't have independence, develop co-dependence as the next best thing, says the brain.

But since Andrew seems to genuinely have some kind of personality disorder I'm unqualified to diagnose,(which I'll quickly try to justify saying, referencing Andrew, me paraphrasing this, mentioning at least once his seeming inability to emotionally connect with others, whereas Ashley isn't an exception to this rule, but she is still unique) his flavor of co-dependence manifested closer to physical attraction/obsession, objectifying Ashley as a (physical) idol of worship, unlike Ashley's objectification of him as an emotional pillar.

Of course there is still the emotional connection of Ashley being the only other living soul who knows his crimes, and the only person to regularly hold him through the night terrors. But this is TCOAAL Tumblr, too much character nuance is scary /s

But anyways... No shit, right? The toxic co-dependence is one of the things the game is marketed on. Yet if it's so in your face, why does it feel like barely anyone talking about the game recognizes this part of Andrew?

I feel like people have maybe twisted the order of operations here. Or they're just so irrationally repulsed by sex they refuse to recognize it as an effective storytelling tool when used correctly. (which TCOAAL DOES) Andrew isn't "toxic-ly co-dependent" on Ashley because he finds her attractive. He's attracted to her because of his co-dependence with her.

[natyourone]

i believe in byler toxic codependency

[khepiari]

Straight people: if we don’t communicate out loud in clear descriptive terms how can we understand each other?

Meanwhile gays: morse code by blinking is all we need.

[hazlehoff]

I have one PATRAT idea for you..

Trope - You bring worst in me

Basically they are too toxic for each other they bring worst in each other but still can't let each other go type

toxic codependency, obsession, emotional volatilitycan’t-leave-can’t-stay relationship

Hi Anon! Thank you for your idea haha! It has been a while since I've written PatRat, haven't i? 🥹

I'm currently working on a fic with them, and it is angsty too, but on a different level from this suggestion!

maybe my next patrat angst can be them being toxic for each other 👀

i think i will enjoy writing this one because i feel like both of them are definitely driven by their egos at some stage and it's going to ruin everything for them

rather than taking things slow, the two of them really nosedived deep into a super intimate and emotionally charged relationship from the very beginning. once the honeymoon period is over and their normal lives somewhat resumes, that's when the cracks start to show.

they know and understand each other way too well, which is why if they ever have a disagreement (which they do, a lot), they know exactly what to say to the other person where it hurts the most

they're going to do so many personal attacks at each other, challenging each other's masculinity/existence and whatnot, which would make it harder for either of them to leave this relationship, simply because now they have to stay and "prove a point"

pat keeps ragebaiting virat in public and virat always falls for it and ends up doing something completely fucking stupid in retaliation (incident tbc i can't think of something just yet haha)

i like to think beyond these things they genuinely have a huge secret or some information that they know of the other person which makes it impossible to leave this relationship. could either be some secret clauses signed with CA/BCCI - could go into something more questionable like sex and nudes and personal manipulation/threats of leaks idk i haven't thought that far yet sorryyyyy

i will put this one into my very long list of ideas too and hopefully get to it someday <3

[hilsonamore]

when i say i like the toxic, co-dependent relationship dynamic between two characters, i don’t mean it in the sense of hetero dark romance, but in the mutually distractive sense. Like, i need these characters to want to kill each other at times, encourage the other’s toxic traits, punch and insult each other, be free to release their true messed up self without having to fear of the other’s departure, but also be so protective of one another that no one ever dares come near them, because they just know they’ll have to face their other half. When times are hard, they are both willing to move the earth upside down, destroy anyone in any and every sense, just to restore their beloved’s peace, just to see them smile. I need these characters to be so shit and disgustingly loving to each other that you just can’t help but want to protect them and see them happy. Anyway in this essay i will-

This is based on hilson btw, but it also applies to any other characters who have that dynamic

[writerjayne]

I saw a post about a stalker au with hollonov and I cannot stop thinking about it! I'll try and find the post to link, cause full credit to that creator, but genuinely if Shane wanted to/was more unhinged, he'd be such a good stalker like.... I know that sounds insane, but I can totally see it! And in the post, Ilya was still a hockey player, but Shane wasn't, and Ilya was like okay with/had accepted having a stalker, cause he didn't have anyone else who cared about him that much (which is SO SAD but also.... I kinda love it for this?) And this post was just a kind of one-shot type thing (I'm pretty sure), but imagine a whole fic, okay, like Ilya adjusting to life in Boston, all alone, and suddenly he has a fan! A very dedicated fan... Ok, a concerningly invested fan... ok yeah, a stalker, he has a stalker. But other than texting him constantly, knowing more than they should, and somehow hearing everyyyhing that happens in Ilya's apartment/house, the stalker doesn't really do anything? So Ilya just accepts it, right? Like it's just a part of life to him. The stalker isn't threatening Ilya in any way, they're just there, and Ilya kinda likes having someone constantly checking on him. He can never find the cameras/mics that are clearly hidden around his house, has no idea how the stalker is getting in, but what's he gonna do? (Maybe add a distrust of police because of his dad and brother? just for extra angst?)

Then on the flip side of this, we have Shane Hollander, who has hyperfixated to the point of committing crimes over this rising hockey star. Maybe he had a promising hockey career of his own, but an injury ended that, maybe he was never a hockey player, IDK do what makes you happy, but he's obsessed with Ilya. Like obsessed, obsessed, knows eeeeeverything about him. Birthday (down to the minute Ilya was born), favorite color, favorite foods (and least favorites, Shane dispares Ilya's diet.), workout preferences, sexual preferences (shane sends suggestions), every hockey stat ever through Ilya's whole career on the ice (even before it was a career), Every injury, major or minor, over the years (shane has grudges against specific players who have hurt Ilya and maybe even retaliated?) Ilya's family history (which Shane will make Ilya go to therapy about, eventually), which cars are Ilya's favorites, Ilya's favorite bars/clubs, favorite brands, and style preferences, just everything. He's attended lots of Ilya's games over the years, usually keeping his distance, though he managed to get close enough to get autographs on more than one occasion, but Ilya never knew the pretty man was his stalker

And Shane becomes this, like, weird, almost sugar daddy, constantly sending Ilya gifts (jewelry, designer clothing, expensive vodka, Russian/European foods, and things Ilya has a hard time getting in the states) and just generally looking after him without them ever meeting (as far as Ilya knows at least). And Shane holds back his obsession/possessiveness (kinda, beyond the obvious stalking part), not wanting to push Ilya to the point of actually going to the police, but the longer he watches Ilya, the more jealous he is of the people who are able to interact with Ilya directly on a regular basis, so he starts going further. Instead of just texts, Shane starts calling/leaving voicemails, and even eventually installs a speaker system alongside his cameras/microphones so he can speak to Ilya directly in his home, and Shane is thrilled with how responsive Ilya is to his voice.

Meanwhile, Ilya is getting concerningly attached to his stalker/whatever this man is at this point, and starts trying to get more attention from him, and then the season ends, and Shane kidnaps Ilya. Ilya wakes up in the cottage with the most beautiful man he's ever seen, and obviously, they fuck about it, but I haven't gotten much more than that.

Edit: I found the post that inspired this! (Luckily I had texted it to my wife!)

[toilet1and2]

[scream-telehead]

Chaotic Minds (An AU I’m making) (small spoilers for Kayne/Intermezzo)

This is based around a couple “what if”s I thought about. “What if Kayne was in Arthur’s head instead of John?” “What if the story focused on ‘Darthur’ (dark Arthur)?” So, I combined the two to make the Chaotic Minds AU. In this AU, when the gate was opened, Nyarlathotep tries to come through and gets severed, trapping part of him in the book. The events play out mostly the same from there and Arthur opens the book, trapping the severed piece in his mind. From there, every situation that can be solved with a gun, will be solved with a gun. If not, the attempt will at least be made. The major turning point comes in the hospital during Arthur’s coma. Instead of the nurse making Kayne more human, a preacher comes to read bible stories. Listening to this triggers a hatred for the church in the piece within Arthur. This combined with Arthur’s previous religious trauma causes them to confront the preacher. The preacher calls Arthur a sinner and they decide to take on the mantle as they burn the church down. The piece within Arthur remembers the story of Cain and Able, the first murderer, so it takes on the name, twisting it into his own as Kayne.

The two of them, despite being the protagonists, are the villains of the story. Each feeding into a toxic relationship of codependency and completely unhinged nature. Arthur pulls away from his humanity and becomes more like Kayne.

John takes the place of Kayne in the original story, becoming a sort of exterminator and searches for any world where Kayne was the one to end up with Arthur. This John once had his own Arthur but lost him to Kayne, setting out to destroy any version of Kayne he can find that taints what Arthur was meant to be.