Take This Heart

Falling deeper and deeper in love with the Lord. Colossians 3:17, Isaiah 40:28-31, Psalm 40:5

[takethisheartofmine]

View this post on Instagram

“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.” John 15:7. . . This is a verse that’s always captivated me...one that’s often caused me to wonder, What does it mean to abide in Jesus, in God’s Word? And does He really mean we can “ask whatever we wish” and receive it? . . I’m sure there are many different interpretations/answers, but perhaps the first question is key to answering the last. Maybe it is less of “will God really give me what I desire” and more of “what do I desire more than Jesus?” The thing is, when we are truly, faithfully abiding in Jesus, and when the Word is truly ALIVE in us...our hearts begin to change, and our desires begin to shift to the point where our greatest “wish” is to draw nearer to the heart of God, to long for what He longs for, to break for what breaks His heart. And His response to that wish is far richer, more promising, and abundant than anything else we could ask for. . . #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #day76 #john15 #v7 #abideinMe #askwhateveryouwish #whatdoyoudesire #whodoyoudesire #seekfirstHiskingdom #inlove #withtheLord #dancer #believer #childofGod #baltimore #harborview #homesweethome #sunrise #goodmorningbaltimore (at HarborView Marina)

[takethisheartofmine]

“Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass.” Joshua 21:45. . . Whenever I read the Old Testament, I often find myself wondering, “Why were the Israelites so unfaithful after all God had done for them?” But I’m starting to realize that the real question we need to consider is, “Why is GOD so faithful in keeping His promises EVEN when the Israelites are so unfaithful?” . . The truth is that it’s NOT surprising that the Israelites—or, as a matter of fact, we Christians today—are unfaithful time and time again. Sadly, we are still broken, sinful, and rebellious, and most of us (really all of us) would rather go our own way instead of obeying God or any other authority in our lives (I mean just look at how well we listen to our parents!). . . What IS surprising, however, is that *despite* knowing that we are bound to disobey and defy Him, God STILL chooses to pursue us, love us, and fulfill every promise made to us. That’s what His unconditional love looks like—not calculated or measured in response to *our* actions or faithfulness, but completely dependent on His good, righteous, and constantly gracious character. . . “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. . . #yearofbiblicalliteracy #YOBL #day72 #joshua21 #faithful #notonewordhasfailed #Heisgood #Heisconstant #goodFather #patient #loving #gracious #promisekeeper #devoted #unconditionallove #believing #seeking #dancing #worshipping

[takethisheartofmine]

View this post on Instagram

“The Holy Spirit resides within you, the believer, to give you the steadying power you need to grow steadily and remain steadfast in your faith REGARDLESS of circumstances around you or feelings that ebb and flow like the tide.” Charles Stanley. . . Feelings that ebb and flow...what a perfect way to describe the state of my heart recently (even as I write this), constantly wavering between ripples of calm, solid trust in the Lord and waves of anxious, turbulent doubt threatening to drown me. Like any other person, I often allow these emotions—however fleeting—to consume me, and it is only too easy to let my anger, sadness, and disappointment turn into lies that I am worthless, shameful, weak, and hopeless, that somehow these bursts of feeling determine who I am and what I (can) do. . . But thank GOD there is a greater truth, a greater Person in fact INSIDE us (the Holy Spirit Himself), who empowers us to remain strong, assured, and faithful REGARDLESS of any sort of emotional turbulence or distress we’re experiencing. It is HIS (eternally steady) love and power, not that of our own, that keeps us faithful, grounded, and loved, even when we don’t necessarily feel that way. . . And in that is the greatest freedom and JOY, not in what we do but in who He is. #yobl #yearofbiblicalliteracy #latenightreflections #steadfast #love #healing #seeking #drawmeclose #katinas #dancer #believer #danceworship #dailybread #prayer #throughdance #movement #creation (at Battery Dance)

[takethisheartofmine]

“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.” 1 Peter 5:10. . . It’s amazing how often we completely miss the point of Christianity. We come into it seeking freedom, comfort, and ease, and completely ignore the MULTIPLE times Jesus talks about “carrying our cross daily” and “dying to ourselves” and “suffering for His name.” I mean, let’s be real, who really goes into any religion/lifestyle EMBRACING the invitation to pain/suffering/sacrifice? And yet the beauty of the gospel is not in the ease or freedom from pain, but the promise that God, in His goodness, can somehow enter into that same pain and suffering, and transform it into strength, restoration, and TRUE freedom and light in Christ. . . I confess that I’ve been wrestling with God a bit in terms of why, despite knowing and believing in His goodness, I still experience such sadness, disappointment, and pain (the question of a lifetime, I know). And as I continue to sit in His Presence and wait on Him, I’m not sure I have a clear answer (apart from the typical answer of: this world is still broken and God’s kingdom hasn’t fully come just yet). But what I do know that my assurance is not in MY emotions or my circumstances or even the world I live in, but in the God I serve whose truth, promise, and glory is somehow able to wash away this brokenness and transform it into new life and HOPE in His Spirit. . . If none of that makes sense: God doesn’t guarantee freedom from pain/suffering, but He does guarantee freedom IN HIM, in His promise to turn our “mourning into dancing”, our pain into joy. . . #reflections #1peter5 #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #firmfoundation #inChrist #suffering #healing #joy #hopeinHim #notourcircumstance #Heisourrock #ourtrust #dailybread #fountainoflife #dancer #believer #daughter #ofthemosthigh (at East Village, Manhattan)

[takethisheartofmine]

“When my hands stretch out towards the sky, You never let me run dry. When I dive into the depths of You, my heart is made anew, Jesus in You. // ~~~ Your love is a flood And I’m caught on the current of Your living waters, It’s Your love, it’s Your love. Your presence is a flood and I’m caught in the wonder, You have taken me over, You have won my heart.” (Into the Deep by Citipointe). . . I guess I don’t really need to add much to these lyrics...I’ve been getting lost in a sea of emotions these days, and am desperately trying to let the presence and deep love of God wash over me. Though it’s sometimes hard to see when the clouds of this season will be lifted, I know that God is somehow using these “storms” to shower His love and endless grace upon me, making way for new life and growth in the days to come. I can’t say I’m loving every moment of it, but I can say I’m finding a different kind of joy and worship, rooted not in my circumstance but in His constance...in the deep, flooding waters of His love and mercy. . . #intothedeep #citipointe #worship #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #day60 #danceworship #improv #expression #workinprogress #dancingintherain #socliche #sorefreshing #healing #seekingHim #learning #growingpains #trusting #Hedelivers #faithful (at StuyTown)

[takethisheartofmine]

View this post on Instagram

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18. . . Tonight, my community group shared stories of how God has been faithful in our lives...and as I reflected on my experience since coming to New York, I couldn’t help but be in awe of how God poured out His Spirit to transform a hopeless, crushed, heartbroken teenager into a young woman seeking to be filled and fulfilled by the love of Christ. At the lowest point of my life, God was the only One who could see and save me, the One who drew near to my heart and spirit even in my brokenness and shame. . . It’s so easy to think of God as One who favors the joyful, the righteous, the perfect, put-together, lovable Christian. Instead, He is a Father who pursues and even carries His children who are most lost, most broken and desperate to hear His voice. . . #psalm34 #v18 #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #day59 #communitygroup #TGCEV #tgcevstcg #neartothebrokenhearted #savinggrace #Hehearsyou #seesyou #lovesyou #hillsong #worship #tomyknees #danceworship #praise #dancer #believer #seeking #Histruth #creating #expressing #breathing (at East Village, Manhattan)

[takethisheartofmine]

View this post on Instagram

“Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You.” Psalm 63:3. . . There are so many words people use to describe the Bible. Powerful. Complex. Truthful. Rich. Insightful. Confusing. Revelational. Transformative. Convicting. Frustrating. Controversial...but I think the word that pops out to me most is romantic...for what could be more romantic than the story of a Holy God in relentless pursuit of a broken, unworthy, yet chosen people? . . Whenever I’m tempted to look to other things or people for love, I try to remind myself that the kind of persistent, selfless, all-consuming love I’m looking for can only be found in the One who is Love Himself. No matter how exciting or fulfilling other love may be, God’s love is the only one that truly renews, restores, and sustains, even when life itself may be purposeless and empty. . . #foodforthought #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #day58 #psalm63 #Scripturebreathed #truelove #betterthanlife #Heisfaithful #HeisLove #dancer #believer #creating #thinking #choreographing #improv #contemporary #workinprogress #inlove #worship #shaneandshane #yourebeautiful (at StuyTown)

[takethisheartofmine]

View this post on Instagram

“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” Mark 8:36. . . I’m in the midst of a season where everything seems unclear, uncertain, and there seem to be far more closed doors than open ones. I’m in the kind of season where “waiting” seems to be the word of the day EVERY day, and “patience” is a virtue ever needed but hardly grasped. Be it career path, community, relationships, love...everything seems suspended just beyond my reach for now, not completely out of sight but not tangible, either. And any hint of my frustration or anxiety seems to beckon the question: are these things of more value to me than God? . . Still learning how to live out the answer...this dance is just the beginning. . . #foodforthought #mark836 #heavenlytreasures #faithfulness #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #soulsearching #seeking #dancing #expressing #sinkingdeep #inHislove #choreography #dance #improv #batterydance (at Battery Dance)

[takethisheartofmine]

“The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Isaiah 58:11. . . “Scorched”...these days, everything/everyone seems filled with so much bitterness, anger, and grief...even in my own heart, there’s a kind of heaviness that makes me wonder what exactly God is doing during a time like this, a time when evil, hatred, and pain seem to be dominating every current event/headline/post/conversation topic I see. In one way or another, we’re all asking ourselves, What good or what hope can come of all this brokenness, emptiness, and chaos? Whether in our personal lives or in the world around us...what’s the point?? . . I know Christians don’t have the best reputation in times like these, and according to what I’ve seen/heard, we appear to be insensitive or “fluffy” or complacent when it comes to situations like these...we write encouraging or even “outspoken”/“insightful” posts, all while keeping a careful distance away from any of the actual suffering or pain of those around us. And you know what? I’m sure there’s truth to that, not just for Christians but to all of us who want to care and respond but just don’t seem to have the courage or wisdom or compassion to know how to. ...But thankfully, I am also just as sure that I believe in a God whose sense of justice, truth, and righteousness is a lot more dependable and trustworthy than ours. I believe in a God whose ways I may not ever fully understand, but in whom I place my complete trust and hope in anyways because really, who else can deliver and save us from this crazy, evil mess of a world? Who else can we depend on to work “all things for the good of those who love Him”, who is not slow but “patient, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance”? . . Yes, we are broken. Heck, some days we are quite useless! And we live in a “sun-scorched land” that is dry, unhealthy, weak, and rather desolate in many ways. But the Lord we serve is a spring of living water, a fountain of life that brings new life, healing, and redemption...we just can’t see it yet.

[takethisheartofmine]

“ ‘With him I speak mouth to mouth, clearly, and not in riddles, and he beholds the form of the Lord.’ “ Numbers 12:8. . . You know sometimes I wonder what it would be like to speak to God this closely, to be as intimate and vulnerable with God as Moses was in his time. Especially during a season where so many things seem uncertain/unstable, I often find myself longing for this kind of deep intimacy and trust with God...wishing that His words would cut through with clarity and certainty, instead of the cloudy shades of doubt that often surround me. . . This morning, it occurred to me that maybe sometimes I don’t feel close to the Lord because I’m not really listening to Him...the distractions of every day life, the worries/fears/hopes on my heart, and the people around me create a distance between me and God that prevents me from drawing near and genuinely pursuing true intimacy with Him. Maybe I don’t feel close because I’m not truly surrendering...because maybe I’m afraid that if God really speaks to me as plainly as He spoke with Moses...I won’t like what I hear. . . #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #day47 #february #numbers #foodforthought #dailybread #intimacy #vulnerability #withGod #discernment #figuringitout #trusting

[takethisheartofmine]

“Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?” Isaiah 58:6. . . It’s really easy for us to miss the point of fasting. Especially during the season of Lent, it often becomes centered around what we’re “giving up” or “doing” for God, and it turns into this religious ritual or even a bragging right among peers. Meanwhile, our hearts and lives are hardly changed—we continue to lie/cheat/steal from one another in different ways, but it’s all good, because we’re fasting for God, right? . . Something I’m continually learning is that to God, it doesn’t matter how obediently we follow these religious rituals if our hearts are still filled with the same greed/lust/hatred/selfishness/injustice/etc. Why bother fasting, serving, or even praying, when inside our hearts remain unmoved and unchanged? . . Jesus says: “On the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness [...] Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” (Matthew 23). . . What we say or do (or fast) is meaningless if it does not come from a heart that is wholly surrendered to the love and grace of God... But if our hearts ARE surrendered, the power of His love and His Spirit produces a LIFESTYLE of humility, grace, love, justice, etc. that go far beyond the act of fasting in itself. . . #foodforthought #Lent #day2 #39daystillEaster #YOBL #day46 #dailybread #dailyreflections #fasting #obeying #followingChrist #notjustreligion #lifestyle

[takethisheartofmine]

Despite our smiles, I actually cried a bit today because this beautiful sister is leaving me for China in a few days to teach and inspire a bunch of high school students who apparently need her more than I do 😭 Though I am going to miss you immensely, I have full faith God is going to use you powerfully to bless and share His love with others in amazing, beautiful ways. 🦋 Thank you for spending time with me and for your gentle, graceful and incredibly loving presence always...though I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do without my coffee/baking/devo buddy, know that my thoughts and prayers go with you, and if you ever need me, I’m just a phone call (well technically, Skype call/WeChat) away. Go be your bold, faithful, inspiring self!! And MESSAGE ME. 😍 . . #loveyou #kathywu #cherishedfriend #sisterinChrist #gonnamissyou #keepintouch #istherespaceinyourluggage #hugs #kisses #blessings #waitshesnotoninstagram #merpp

[takethisheartofmine]

“I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation. As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!” Psalm 40:10-11. . . It’s super easy as dancers to openly rejoice and celebrate success, but to keep our failures/rejections a secret. I mean it’s not just dancers—I think all of us can relate to feelings of shame, self-consciousness, disappointment, discouragement, etc. whenever we walk out of an audition/interview/application that didn’t go as expected. We’re quick to give praise / show off when we’ve received that job offer / opportunity, but rarely do we share about the times when we don’t make the cut. . . During an audition today, it was tempting to feel sorry for myself when I got cut after the first round...when I didn’t hear my number, it was easy to compare myself to those who made it, and wonder what I didn’t have that they apparently did. And though I’m sure there are shadows of those feelings hovering around somewhere, I feel a stronger desire to still rejoice and be thankful. The thing is, that one hour was a blessing regardless of whether I made the cut or not—as they split us into small groups to see us work through the choreography, I remember feeling this sense of awe and gratitude at being able to watch such different dancers and artists translate the movement in such unique, beautiful ways. Sure, there was a wave of tension in the air—you could tell people really wanted to make an impression and make the cut—but underneath that was a fierce, striking kind of beauty that made me realize how truly “fearfully and wonderfully made” each of these artists are, whether they know it or not. I hope they do... . . It’s never a GREAT feeling—being cut from an audition—but it is one that makes you grow. And it’s always an important reminder that despite the failure and rejection, my worth as a dancer and person go far beyond anything an audition can tell me. This door may not have opened, but somewhere, someday, one will. . . #auditionseason #1 #lessonlearned #thankful #joyful #fearfullyandwonderfullymade #YOBL #day41 #psalm40

[takethisheartofmine]

It’s that time of the year again....🤭🙈🤯 Praying a blessing of encouragement, peace, confidence and JOYY over all my dancer friends out there ❤️ You are beautiful, fierce, treasured and gifted—no audition or job will change that ;) . . “[May] the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, [guard] your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7. . . #peacebewithyou #valued #treasured #inChrist #Hisplansneverfail #Heseesyou #donotbeafraid #Heiswithyou #auditionseason #dancerlife #nyc #loveyall #wegotthis

[takethisheartofmine]

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?” Psalm 56:3-4. . . This week has been a bit mind-boggling to me. The past few days alone, God has been freeing my head and heart of so many doubts+insecurities, and suddenly I feel this growing confidence and peace in me that I have rarely felt. Where I have often been self-conscious and timid, I now feel empowered and assured, even though my situation has hardly changed; I am still trying to find my way in this so-called “adulthood”, and yet, I am no longer really intimidated...I am no longer afraid. . . Haha, doesn’t that sound vague? 😅 What I mean to say is...I feel like I’ve spent the past several years living in this shadow of shoulds and should-nots, this cloud of expectations and traditions that tell me to act a certain way/take a certain path to accomplish the things I want to. Especially regarding dance, too often I’ve allowed myself to shrink in self-doubt and worry, simply because I’ve feared how others will see me/judge me, laugh at or reject me. I’ve believed the lie that somehow, I’m “never good enough”, and that if I don’t measure to others’ standards or pass their tests (#auditions), I’m a failure. And it terrifies me. . . What I’m starting to realize, though, is that these people, these companies, these voices...they don’t actually have any power over me. I mean, yes, of course they can accept or reject me, praise or criticize me...but at the end of the day, they can’t really shape my future or change my worth, nor can they take dance away from me. At the end of the day, they’re just people like me, with their own dreams and desires and ideals that may or may not agree with my own. . . As I head into audition season, and as I figure out what it looks like to pursue my dreams and desires, it’ll be tempting to get swept up in a wave of doubt, uncertainty, and fear of failure. But I don’t think I will. Because, just like this verse says, what can mortal man do to me? What do I have to be afraid of, when God has granted me this precious life and this precious gift? . . #nofear #perfectlove #trustinHim #dance

[takethisheartofmine]

Hi NYC friends!! 🤗 Some sorta-exciting news: I’ve shared with a handful of people, but I’m planning to start teaching my own adult ballet classes in NYC starting next week ! So far the times are some weekday afternoons (btwn 11-4) and evenings after 6pm, but DM me for more details if you’re interested! 🙃 Basic/beginner classes and Int Adv classes available. ✌🏼 . . As you’ve all probably experienced before, this whole transitional season of “funemployment”/job hunting has been pretty daunting and uncomfortable—having no clear direction or open door is simply not my cup of tea, and it’s definitely been a struggle 😅 🍵 However, it’s also given me the time to realize that even if it is a slow and “strugglesome” (yes I just made up a word) process, I don’t have to let it stop me from doing or trying the things I love!! Of *course* I would love to be able to find a stable, more full-time job in the dance world, but for now, I can still keep dancing, creating, and trying to joyfully share my knowledge and love for dance with others. . . So yea, I hope you’ll join me as I continue to step into / stumble around this so-called “adult life”! These open classes are just the beginning, but I hope they’ll be followed by more steps of boldness, confidence, and FAITH to do the things God created me to do (and ENJOY). 🦋🙃 . . See you in class!! 🙆🏻‍♀️ . . #nyc #balletteacher #dancer #believer #newventures #funemployment #selfemployment #looking #forchange #forgrowth #stepbystep #leapsoffaith #inHim #tbt #hk

[takethisheartofmine]

“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, and He will act.” Psalm 37:3-5. . . Have you ever made the distinction between the world’s definition of confidence and God’s? The world is filled with sayings that go along the lines of “you do you” and “believe in yourself”, phrases that shape the belief that we should take confidence in who we are and in what we do, and that this self-pride will keep us content/proud/motivated/happy. God’s confidence, on the other hand, tells a very different story—a story of how DESPITE how broken, imperfect, and mistaken we may sometimes be, we still have confidence in Christ, in a love that forgives and restores and reDEEMS even the most broken/messiest parts of our lives. . . Quite a few of you know I struggle with confidence (the pic is a bit ironic haha), and am still learning how to be proud and grounded in who God has created me to be. But I’m starting to realize that what I need to grow in isn’t necessarily in being more self-assured or “tough”, but in posturing myself more to receive the confidence and grace God offers me because of who HE is and what He promises, not who I am or what I’ve “accomplished.” . . Anyways that’s all folks haha I’m sleepy 😴 💤 🛏. Gnite~~ and be confident, for when the Lord is on your side, none shall stand against you. . . #foodforthought #beconfident #inChrist #YOBL #yearofbiblicalliteracy #day37 #february #psalms #songsoflife #dailybread #livingwater #thirstingfortruth #life #worship #believer #dancer #nyc #eastvillage (at New York, New York)