Proud. It’s ok to be proud of yourself occasionally. A little pride never hurt anybody. Too much, and heads will be too big to fit through doorways.
I’m proud of myself. I haven’t done amazing things in my life but I’m doing more recently than I ever thought i would. By “amazing things”, I mean things like becoming an actress or musician, gone to the moon, etc. I have had amazing moments. I have married my soul mate, that’s pretty amazing.
But I am proud of what I have achieved so far. I have started my dream job. Becoming a freelance artist. Business is taking it’s time, but I’ve taken the chance and I’m going to see it through. Something that, I never thought I’d get the courage to do. If it fails, at least I know I tried.
Another example, I came home to my parents to do their gardening, something which, unfortunately they are no longer able to do. I was happy to help. Now, if you had told me a few years ago that I’d be doing a lot of gardening, I would of told you, you were off your rocker! I used to be frightened of spiders, an unfortunate behaviour that I imprinted from my mother. But I got over it recently. I don’t know how but I did. I figured, life’s too short and that they are more afraid of me anyway. Something that my dad has always said. See, dads know best. I am proud of this.
Getting over this hurdle has allowed me to be there to help my parents with a task most people would take for granted. I’m not very good at it and I kind of wish I took a few lessons from Grandsha when he was still with us but I did it, and it was strangely cathartic.
My next challenge, to make not only myself proud, but my family, is to lose weight. I want to be able to run to raise money for cancer charities in honour of my Aunty Julie and Gransh. I’ve been tackling my weight for a while but thinking about what I can achieve when I put my mind to it, I think I’ll do well. I’ve been bullied most of my life because of my size and personality, and if I was a teenager again, I probably would have taken it to heart all over again. However, if I do this weight loss thing, I’m doing it for me not for the haters. Believe it or not, I’m happy with being me. There’s always going to be those irritating voices that whisper to yourself the things you want to change about your appearance, but I love being me. If I want to lose weight it is because I want to stay healthy enough to still be able to help my parents with the things they find increasingly difficult, to do the things I’ve always wanted to in life. That in itself is a big slap in the face of the haters, to show them you’re happy being you! Something to be proud of.
So I guess, what I’m trying to say in such a long essay way, is be happy! Take risks. Live and love your life. Don’t try to change yourself. Don’t try to please everyone. Please yourself. It’s ok to be you. It's ok to make yourself proud!
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