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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@teacuppigdog
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo
"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."
three. liters.
i support women's wrongs
Something I have been thinking about a fair bit recently is how important it is to know how to talk to people with dementia, and how so many people don't actually have any real awareness of how to do that, so, off the top of my head, here are a few things that might help:
the way you frame your conversations is important! People with dementia are often, particularly at the earlier stages, very much aware that their memory is getting worse. This can make them very anxious, which isn't fun for anyone, least of all them. One of the most common things that people say to people with dementia is "do you remember ___?" as a way to try and prompt their memory. This feels helpful, but it's not. Because hey, in all likelihood, that person does not remember ___, and being confronted with this fact is not going to make them feel great. Remember that they literally have a degenerative brain disease; they're not going to suddenly regain their memories because you tested them. Instead, try talking about your own memories. Tell them what you remember. Tell it like a story. If they remember, then they can join in. If not, then hey, it's a nice story.
don't correct them if they say something wrong. Their version of reality is not going to be the same as yours. That's just a given. My grandma is often convinced that she's just on a very long holiday in a nice hotel, and that her dad is waiting outside in the car. I'm not going to tell her "uh, actually, you're in a care home and your dad died 50 years ago," because who's that going to help? Quite literally no-one. It'll just confuse her more, and she's already confused enough. Even if the person is saying something that's making them anxious - a common one is believing that people are stealing from them, or that someone is being unkind to them - then it's easier to try and distract them by trying to talk about something that you know makes them happy, rather than to outright tell them that they're wrong. Being consistently told that they're wrong can make them react defensively; they're not children, and they (usually) know it. It's just easier not to get into a confrontation.
get used to repetition. Don't get frustrated when you have the same conversation 25 times in two minutes. It's going to happen. For them, it's the first time you've had that conversation; they won't understand why you're angry at them for asking a question. It's completely normal to feel frustrated, but the onus is on you not to make it their problem. My grandma's short term memory is, charitably, about 3 seconds long. A conversation with her at this point is like rehearsing for a play; I know her lines, and I know mine. That's just how it is. She gets just as much joy out of telling me that she likes my cardigan for the 86th time as she did the first time she said it. People with dementia are not able to retain the information or the memory of that previous conversation; reminding them that you've already answered their question is just going to confuse and upset them.
don't take things personally. They might say things that are unkind. They might say completely inappropriate things. Again: their brain is deteriorating. It is a medical condition. They're not becoming bad people, or showing their 'true selves' to be evil and rage-fuelled. It's a combination of the fact that they're living in a perpetual state of confusion, which can lead to frustration and anger, and the fact that their ability to process and respond to information is affected by the dementia itself. If they say something cruel to you, you just have to take it on the chin and recognise it as a symptom of a disease that they're not able to control. Step out of the room for a moment if it gets too much. I've been fortunate in that my grandma has never experienced this symptom, but it's very common, and it's no reflection of you, or them.
don't treat them like children. My grandmother is 92 years old and she will look at you like you're the bane of her life if you try and tell her what to do, or use baby talk. Keep your sentences short and clear to avoid confusion, but don't ask them if they need you to clean their wittle fingies.
try and avoid open-ended questions, especially ones that involve memory recall, like "what did you do on the weekend?". My grandma was an absolute queen at making shit up when people asked her that, because she couldn't remember a damn thing, and she never liked to admit that she couldn't remember, because it made her stressed and anxious. "I picked up leaves" was her personal favourite, for some reason. I used to just tell her about my weekend instead, and sometimes she would joyfully tell me (completely falsely) that she also went to the shops, and that was much less stressful for her; she wasn't actively trying to come up with an answer to cover for her own lack of memory, and instead felt like she was part of the conversation on her own, equal terms.
most importantly: don't try and pull them back to reality. The best way I've learnt to communicate with anyone with dementia is to enter theirs instead. Sometimes, this is referred to as 'validation therapy'. It's about acknowledging that the reality of someone with dementia is as real to them as your reality is to you, and you're not going to be able to 'reorient' them to your version of reality, because they don't have the short term memory or ability to retain information that would enable that. Put simply: if my grandma asks when my uncle is going to come home, I gain nothing from (correctly) informing her that he's dead. This just upsets her, because every time she hears it, she's receiving the news of his death for the first time. That sends her into a spiral of grief and anxiety that remains even after the memory of his death has vanished again. Instead, I just tell her that he'll be home after lunch. She nods, accepts it, and we're both happy. My uncle is still dead, but in her world, he's going to come home soon. It's a way of having empathy for the person with dementia, and acknowledging that your reality, or objective 'truth', is not more important than their wellbeing.
Godspeed, and best of luck to anyone who needs this advice, because I truly wish that no-one did.
DON'T ASK YOURSELF "AM I A GOOD PERSON?" ASK YOURSELF "IS WHAT I AM DOING GOOD?" OR EVEN! "WHAT'S A GOOD THING I CAN DO RIGHT NOW?"
DON'T WORRY ABOUT JUDGING AND SORTING YOURSELF! JUST MAKE YOUR BEST CHOICES!!
Ok but pls actually do this people. There is no such thing as a good person. Stop trying to be one and starting trying to do good instead
you are all too comfortable with implying a lack of intelligence is a moral failing and your intelligence and/or academic skill makes you in some way superior/a better person, sometimes even going as far as ""joking"" about "natural selection", that the nebulous "stupid people" should all die. this is a eugenicist thought pattern and you sound like a fascist, just so you know.
cognitively & intellectually disabled people are real, more common than you think, and exist in online, in real life, and in your communities. we see it when you say things like that. not only do you have no way of knowing if the person you're talking about is one of us or if they're some kind of "acceptable target" to you, but when you equate intelligence to morality, you hurt us all the same. make space for the intellectually disabled in your activism or admit you're a fascist like the rest of them
Kid today (probably like 6 years) came up to me and was like "teacher teacher what's your name" and i was like "asha :) also im not a teacher" and he was like "okay asha asha asha I need help" and i was like "okay buddy what's wrong" and he showed me this chunk of metal he'd found sitting in the sun that he was just carrying around and it was super sharp and super hot from the sun and he was like "my hand hurts :(" and i was like "ok. put that down. does it still hurt?" And he did and was like "no." and then he picked it up again and immediately went "my hand hurts :(" again and then I was like "kid. put that down and stop touching it" and he was like "ok but when I touch it my hand hurts :(" and i was like "Please Just Stop Touching That. If you dont touch it your hand won't hurt" and this went on for like another 2 minutes before i got him to realize that if he stopped touching the metal it would not hurt. Kids are so fucking weird man
Comments that make me realize this kid is probably what I sounded like to my therapist when complaining about the consequences of all my bad habits
Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:
Bartholomew
Dolores
Norman
Harold
Magnolia
Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:
Maddison
Tanner
Skylar
Mckenzie
Logan
Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:
Elizabeth
Mary
Michael
Finnegan
Peter
Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:
Radish
Kerosene
Australopithecus
Anthill
Hedgemony
Names that are weird when you're normal:
Balthazar
Romulus
Clandestia
Persephone
Kremulon
Names that are normal when you're weird:
Al
If you heard "Batman has four sons", you'd be forgiven for thinking that each of those sons has three brothers. But that's a rookie mistake. Dick is the only one of them who actually has three brothers, and that's because he put in the work for it, thank you very much. Jason has one brother (Dick), and two kids that his dad had after he moved out (Tim and Damian). Damian actually ping pongs between acknowledging Tim and Jason as his brothers, and thinking they don't count because they're not related to him, but regardless of how he feels about those two he is always related to Dick, Dick just isn't always his brother. So Damian can vary wildly from having three brothers to two brothers to zero brothers.
Tim is literally only brothers to Dick. The other two are his annoying coworkers.
8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'
2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'
As a Greek, in response to the current controversy about Matt Damon being cast as Odysseus, I'd just like to share that one of the moments that changed my brain chemistry as a kid was reading a novelized version of the Odyssey and coming across the following description of Odysseus when Circe sees him for the first time and thinks he's hot: "his hair curled like a clematis and his eyes were very brown".
So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:
Excuse me???
you are right and you should say it.
Is this the face of a man who would put his own infant in front of a plow to avoid going to war?
Absolutely not
You know who would try that shit?
Is this the face of a man who would defy the very gods to get home to his wife?
You know who would defy the gods just to show he could get away with it?
The last thing Penelope's suitors ever see:
I cut an inconspicuous hole into one of my blankets so I can check for spooky activity without being seen.
that's so dangerous, you're just one blanket hole away from becoming a ghost yourself
how are you gonna be 31 and posting fandom content bro leave it to the teenagers
People 10 and 20 years older than me are writing your favorite fanfics, and drawing your favorite characters. You'd have no fandom without the people you think are 'too old' to have hobbies.
This mentality is so insanely frustrating. Why do teenagers think that people have to give up their hobbies, give up fun, when they reach a certain age? Like??
When I was a teenager writing fic, I remember finding out that one of my favorite authors was in her 50s and that just was SUCH a revelation for me!! What do you mean, 50 year olds can write fanfic?!? Does that mean I can write fics when I'm her age?? That's AWESOME! I seriously looked up to her so much. And now I'm 35 with a husband and kid, and I'm still writing fanfic and posting fandom content - and I have no plans of stopping!
If you try to drive 30+ people out of fandom, you're going to lose the backbone of said fandom!
The ageism in fandom is fucking insane. It’s strange that people seem to have the idea that fandom was created by and for teenagers… It was not. It was created by adults. How would we have ao3 if only teenagers were in fandom?
I don’t want to sound like I am hating on younger people in fandom, but god, y’all need to stop it with the ageism. You don’t have to give up what you love once you’re an adult. Honestly, the belief that you have to is pretty bad. It sounds like it would make people afraid of aging. Granted, modern society is so very afraid of aging.
Don’t give up what you love just because you’re an adult. You don’t have to. And don’t try to force others to do it either.
I am really enjoying reading about the University of Wisconsin chancellor fired after the university discovered all the pornos he and his wife were making.
Generally when someone has a public sex scandal (or “scandal”) you get the standard “I am sorry. I regret it. It was a misjudgment on my part” but this guy is like “fuck you I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t violate conflict of interest clauses, you are violating my first amendment rights”
SEXY HEALTHY COOKING
I want to see this legal battle
We can’t do anything about hate speech but if there is consensual sexual activity involved!
I want the details about how this was discovered because it has a real “I saw the professor at the devil’s sacrament” “girl what were YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament 👀" vibe
I know this is funny haha to a lot of people but I need yall to really internalize that this is a gentle example of what happens to sex workers. This is a white man in his 50s who turned to sex work for fun and lost his professional career. Now imagine how fucked it is for disabled impoverished sex workers to advertise themselves in a way that separates their identities and lives from their real ones because if they can't they're barred from most other jobs if ANYONE happens to find out. Aside from jobs, imagine how this affects custody battles and abuse cases and housing availability. Maybe it seems like everyone and their dog has an onlyfans and a pornhub channel and things are cool now, but we live under a christofash oligarchy and sex workers will always be trampled and spat on by most of society. This story is absurd but this isn't funny at all.
People don’t even say w00t anymore.
This sux00rz…
Anok Yai attends the 2026 Met Gala.
