Tear Stained Pages

A place for me to dump all of my poetry mostly anonymously 

[miainaction94]

Neuro_Nerd is an independent artist creating amazing designs for great products such as t-shirts, stickers, posters, and phone cases. Final

Finally after months of procrastinating I got around to updating my Redbubble account with new art.

I have 3 collections uploaded so far Pride Pixel Hearts, Pride Ice Creams, and Pride Slushies.

I also have variant ones to upload soon. For the drinks there will be tapioca boba, ice cubes, or seeds and the ice creams will have sauces in different flavours, shapes.

[tear-stained-pages]

In Our Time Of Dying

In our time of dying,

Who will be there to lay flowers on our graves?

In our time of dying,

Who will weep tears for us?

When we are laid in the ground to rest, or ashes scattered on the wind,

Who will mourn who we once were?

Once we aren’t here any more,

Will you remember us​?

[miainaction94]

Teepublic Store

I've just redone my Teepublic for the first time in years with fully updated designs and a new name I would love if anyone could have a look or even share it for me. Thank you so much in advance. https://www.teepublic.com/user/neuro-nerd

[maidenmystic]

[miainaction94]

"Fairy Frog" Sticker for Sale by MiaInAction

My interpretation of a butterfly resting on a frog. • Millions of unique designs by independent artists. Find your thing.

Fairy Frog is now available for sale on my Redbubble store please go have a look.

[tear-stained-pages]

Reblogging from my main account to here

[tear-stained-pages]

I hate that I miss absent friends so deeply,

I grieve a living being,

Mourning the loss of their time and presence in my life despite the fact they're alive and well,

Holding out hope you'll return.

I'm so tired of missing you when you clearly don't miss me anymore,

And of course I'll never say it to you because what's the point anyway,

Nothing changes you'll be back and then gone again just as quickly as you return,

I'll feel overjoyed for a moment and then like a fool the next.

[miainaction94]

Gradually growing more and more disillusioned with the "Real World"

Misogyny and hatred are on the up and up

Where is the progress we fought for?

Where is the compassion we died for?

Where is the love that we laid down our lives for?

I feel like we're going backwards in time not forward.

When did hate and hurting others become the norm?

When did gender go back to being an ill fitting uniform?

When did sexuality get shoved back into the closet?

Why does my mere existence have to be something radical that people feel should be extinguished?

[miainaction94]

Losing friends not to death but to distance or time is a strange feeling.

I've lost you but you're not lost to all. You've lost me too but I am still here.

It's a different grief to a death that fades and pleasant memories together become joyous once more.

But our memories no matter how long feel bitter and tainted forever sour.

I don't know if I miss you or who you used to be or who I was with you, who I thought you were or how you saw me.

I do miss you though it's strange because for a while I can forget you exist until I see something that reminds me of you I go to show you or tell you to share in what I know we'd find joyous.

Yet you are gone Yet we both remain.

[miainaction94]

Too big t-shirt

Baggy jeans barely fit

Hair tucked up hidden away in a hat

This is not a disguise

It hides no lies

This is comfort that feels like me

[miainaction94]

I hold the pipe between my lips.

Bring the lighter to the bowl flick the switch.

Ignition, flames dance on flowers.

Inhalation feels ritualistic.

Smoke waltzes away on wind.

[miainaction94]

My mirror is a liar It distorts my reflection

What should be small is too big What should be big is too small

Signs of happiness turned into signs of aging

Things that make me, who I am. Appear as failed attempts to deny the constant ticking of the clock.

People keep repeating you're nearly 30 and I know it shows but I still feel like a teen trying to figure it all out.

[miainaction94]

You construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men.

A firm handshake as an introduction or in a business meeting so close to hand holding but harsher, colder and infinitely more fleeting.

A one armed hug to say hello or goodbye that's over almost as soon as its began nothing like the imagined arms around you pulling you closer and holding you there.

A slap across the face that if you close your eyes tight and pretend hard enough could be the lingering warmth of a lover caressing your cheek.

A fight with all of its fancy footwork ducking, dodging and weaving out of the way in another life might have been dancing with a partner.

[miainaction94]

Daddy, Daddy

Used to read my stories, poems listen to my songs. "I'm so proud of you, that's great kid, good job keep it up." In the ground too soon.

Mummy, Mummy

Doesn't care, can't make her, she looks through disinterested eyes; can't make herself give out the warm replies a daughter longs to hear. "Did you see what your Brother did isn't it fantastic" "Sure Mum it's great" where are my words of encouragement?

Brothers, Brothers

Too tangled up in their own lives. No time for a sisters desperate attempts, to belong. Futile gestures, lost and longing hands, reaching out only to come back empty.

Lover, Lover

He's tired of trying no effort spent to even feign interest anymore, "Look I know you like it but I don't" translates to I don't care tell me something new move on get a new interest. It feels like leave me alone.

Friends, Friends

Pretty, empty word full of hope, joy, laughter a thousand different meanings, feels like some kind of fantasy creature that you read about in a fairytale you hope to one day find knowing full well that you never will.

My Name, My Name

Too young to feel this old too old to feel this young, still desperately seeking approval. Friends and family won't validate me I turn to strangers. Feeling much too like a young child seeking comfort. Waiting for someone to reach out but it never comes.

[miainaction94]

And they say to me

How can you love him?

When you don't even love yourself?

And the answer is so simple

Because loving him is easy

It just is, like breathing, or crying or laughing

Loving him comes naturally

I don't have to think about it or question why

I just do, I see him and I love him.

But loving me is hard

It's so much harder

Of course I can love others yet never myself

[miainaction94]

Trying to make myself smaller and gentler than I am.

More squeaking mouse than trumpeting elephant.

I am not delicate nor graceful I am not a swan in still waters I am a bull in a china shop.

My footsteps are not soft pitter patter they are thunder that set teeth a chatter.

I feel a giant in the realm of fairies if I hold this too tightly it could shatter.

I am rough and tumble I do not belong in this world of soft and breakable.