Unbetitelt @terribletrashpanda - Tumblr Blog

Goodluck Pikachu

How To Tell Your Cat That You Could Walk To His Food Faster If He Weren't Weaving Under Your Fucking Feet In A Beautiful And Intricate Idiot's Ballet

evilsoup

how to tell human,,, "ilove you",,,

teaboot

Weird when you first start paying attention to animal noises and realize they don't actually sound like the words we use

teaboot

Like. I've never heard a duck go "Quack." Duck goes WAUK or ERK or HEHHHHH-HHH-H-H, if it's a Muskovy

Chickens are the most accurate with the buk-buk-buk noise, and baby chicks do in fact go "peep", but the "peep" is really more of a squeaky beEEP and adult hens will also bwuAAAAAAAAAAK-AUK-AUK-AUK-AUK.

Roosters do NOT "cock-a-doodle-doo", though. Roosters ER ER-ER ER ERRRRRRRR and they will do it at all ungodly hours of the day from sunrise to sunset.

Cows, again, pretty close with "Moo", but it feels like it needs an "r" in there somewhere. Like mmMMOUuuuure.

Sheep. Sheep really do actually "baa". I can't argue with that. Though an adult might also Phbrbobrbr, and a lamb will mostly MAAAH.

Horse sounds like NH-Hh-Hh-Hhr, or Pphft, or RIIIIII if shit's going down. So I guess "neigh" is fine.

Pigs. Pigs... they'd cab say oink, but only 'cause I don't know how to spell a deep, phlegmy sinus snort with English letters. f'gĥŭrhk, maybe. Pigs are beyond mortal laws.

Dog goes BOOF or Aurk or AuoooooooOOOOO unless it is a Husky or a Beagle. Husky goes AWOWOWOWOWOWeeeeeswAAAAUUGGHGGGGHGGOOOOIOOORAURAURAURA. Beagle goes weeeIGHIHIGHIGHIGHIWROWOOOOOWBROUROUROURBROUGHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH in the voice of a dying adult man

Cat makes whatever noise it fucking wants

And turkeys, of course, say mrrrrr or WOBBLEOBBLEOBBLEOBBLEOBBLE all together at the same time like a terrifying hivemind. This is known

cephalon-sancti

Animal sounds books say rabbits don't say anything. This is incorrect.

Rabbit says HMPH! and hmMMM and huhnh-huhnh-hunhn and hnNN, most importantly, THUMP!

sainamoonshine

Rabbits also say squeek squeek squeek HONK

starlighttea

ashoutinthedarkness

Had a random thought -

Magic tattoos

Tattoo of a chess/checkers board that can be interacted with. Play against yourself or a linked pair (maybe can choose who to link with?) (Could also work for tic-tac-toe)

Word search where the letters shuffle through the alphabet randomly (maybe daily or on command?) and you highlight words you find

Black and white that changes into color through touch

Tattoo of a color pallette that allows you to 'finger paint' within a designated area

Inventory tattoo that acts as limited hammer space

Medical alert tattoos that can be used to track biometric of choice, or even time and pills needed

Growing 'living' garden with bloom and wither cycles. - could make linked to certain actions where growth and blooms = reward for completion (i.e. grows with each cup of water you drink in a day to help keep you motivated for hydration)

Tattoos that show your dream from the night before (can choose to erase or not view) like a film storyboard

Screensaver tattoos - random/repeated motions through the designated space. (The pipes one, or the castaway or aquarium one)

General motion ones, gifs on your skin- camp fire, twinkling stars, flowing aurora borealis, ocean waves, waving meadows, rain, rippling pond, butterfly

cyartomad

cody: *unsure* general . . . are you . . . okay? Obi-wan: *looking dead on his feet* no, commander. i am most certainly not okay. cody: . . . might i ask why? obi-wan: i ran out of tea. this morning. there's no more. in the entire fucking Negotiator. none. and we're two weeks away from our next planetside stay. cody: *still unsure of what this means* and this is . . . causing you to look as if you need medical obi-wan: *sighs really long and hard* imagine, my dear commander, that you visit coruscant. and your brother, fox, has s much paperwork that his desk is not visible under it. and he asks for caf. and there is none. in the entire fucking planet. not a shingle drop of the stuff. cody: cody: *eyes widening* oh fuck. HELIX, WE NEED TO MAKE AN UNPLANNED STOP

desinteresse

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

desinteresse

“What will I be if I don’t graduate/don’t get a promotion/don’t get my shit together/don’t make this relationship work?” You would be a perfectly normal human being who is inherently valuable and who possesses many talents and good traits

desinteresse

“What if I fail even when I tried my very best?” The world keeps turning and you will find many other things you will succeed at.

papayafromtv

ok no actually the funniest way Talia should be shamed for having a one night stand with Jason during his league days is if Damian finds out and refuses to stop referring to Jason as ‘step-father’.

Damian: i request more training with step-father to improve my blade wielding abilities.

Jason, looking up and blinking: wait is that me?

Jason:

Jason: cool.

Jason, turning to Talia: i don’t mind training my step-son.

Talia:

Talia: he isn’t your step-son.

Damian: yes i am.

Talia: Damian, no. he can’t be your father. he’s seventeen.

Damian: oh and that’s an issue is it?

Talia:

Damian:

Jason: *grinning in delight at the family drama*

-later, upon Damian’s arrival in Gotham-

Bruce: and these are your brothers,

Damian: ah yes, i am aware of them.

Damian, nodding at the batkids: Grayson, Drake,

Damian, turning to Jason: step-father,

Jason, solemnly: step-son. good to see you again.

Bruce, having a heart attack: imsorryexcusemewhatnow-?

raephantomsstuff

It'd be hilarious if this was after Bruce got lost in the time stream, and Ra's was actually successful in marrying Tim so when Damian greets Tim it'll be like

Damian, nods to Tim: Grandmother

Tim: Grandson it's been a while

mortalityplays

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

batbetbitbotbut

this is still true if you are autistic and still true if you are trans. it is a myth that the life expectancy of autistic/trans people is like half that of the general population.

batbetbitbotbut

and some people that I, personally, have met (lightly anonymised or amalgamated; I mostly work with older adults so I have these conversations with a lot of people):

84yo who got married the previous week. "I must be mad," she said

44yo recent divorcee who had a party to celebrate it

70something who runs a travelling dinosaur exhibition

78yo who visited her 102yo father every day

80something still actively teaching oboe

50somethings newly starting their second or third careers in nursing, audiology, or other subjects where they had to spend years in uni again

so many newly retired 60somethings delighted with all the time for rest and travel (across a wide spectrum of budgets)

so many newly retired 60somethings delighted with all the time for activities and committees and protests

73yo man requesting STI screening with his new partner

50something man about to move to Canada to be with his partner

sometimes I ask older adults what age they would want to be, if they could be any age. nobody says anything younger than 40. a few people want the bones of a 20yo but even the people who are very frail (disabled, housebound) have preferred their 40s and 50s. and many people like best their 70s or their current age!

skopostheorie

I swear to God if I had loads of money I would buy the biggest Blaze package they have and promote this image to the whole of France

bet-on-me-13

Ellie and Raven have a complex relationship

So! This is an AU where Dan is Trigon, and Ellie joined the Teen Titans. It's not really a Story, but I thought it was funny.

...

Robin: I have a Question for the two of you.

Ellie: What's up?

Raven: Hm?

Robin: You guys call eachother Sisters, Cousins, and in one case you called eachother Aunt and Niece. What's your exact relation?

Ellie: Well that's tricky. See, my Dad is the King of the Infinite Realms, and his true name is Danny. Raven's dad is Trigon, but his true name is Dante.

Robin: And are Danny and Dante brothers?

Raven: No, not technically. See, Dante is an Evil Alternate Future Version of Danny, so they are technically the same Person. But then Dante came to the past, got beaten by Danny, and got shoved into a Mortal body for a while.

Ellie: If that was all, they we could just call eachother Sisters or Cousins. Our Dad's are technically the Same Person, but they consider eachother Brothers.

Raven: Except Ellie isn't a normal daughter.

Robin: What? How?

Ellie: I'm technically a Clone if Danny, not his Daughter. So I'm simultaneously Raven's Sister, Cousin, and Parent since I'm a Copy of a version of her Dad, but I could also be considered her Aunt since Danny and I called eachother siblings before we decided I was his Daughter.

Raven: So Ellie is my Sister/Cousin/Aunt/Mom/Dad.

Robin: ...what the hell.